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(WSBTV)   "Excuse me, Miss? Could you give me directions t- GOD HAS CHOSEN YOU TO BE MY WIFE. STOP STRUGGLING"   (wsbtv.com) divider line 81
    More: Scary, god, Norcross, Channel 2 Action News, pay per clicks  
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15314 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 Jun 2012 at 11:31 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-06-21 09:04:35 AM  
I've been to that Barnes & Noble.
I was disappointed that they didn't carry Fortean Times.
 
2012-06-21 09:07:52 AM  

Rev. Skarekroe: I've been to that Barnes & Noble.


So have I. That entire plaza is a really nice place.

www.dougharch.com

Though apparently not a great hunting ground for picking up chicks.
 
2012-06-21 09:08:21 AM  
Yikes.
 
2012-06-21 09:17:04 AM  
Channel 2's KERRY KAVANAUGH loves KERRY KAVANAUGH's reporting
 
2012-06-21 09:18:53 AM  

Kyro: Rev. Skarekroe: I've been to that Barnes & Noble.

So have I. That entire plaza is a really nice place.

[www.dougharch.com image 350x280]

Though apparently not a great hunting ground for picking up chicks.


Oh. You can pick up the chicks there. It's the stuffing them in the trunk part where things get a little iffy.
 
2012-06-21 09:21:04 AM  
You mean you still have to go to the store? You can't download potential mates to your Nook?
 
2012-06-21 10:31:22 AM  
God chose 3 different women in 3 days. Looks like God isn't very picky.
 
2012-06-21 10:41:00 AM  

Joelogon: God chose 3 different women in 3 days. Looks like God isn't very picky.


All are welcome in the eyes of God. Especially the ones with huge tits.
 
2012-06-21 11:29:46 AM  
Just another example of a liberal rejecting God.
 
2012-06-21 11:34:03 AM  
I think what God MEANT to say was... I've never been that confident.
 
2012-06-21 11:35:42 AM  

Kyro: Rev. Skarekroe: I've been to that Barnes & Noble.

So have I. That entire plaza is a really nice place.

[www.dougharch.com image 350x280]

Though apparently not a great hunting ground for picking up chicks.


If he'd picked her up instead of trying to drag her by the arm, he might have had better luck.
 
2012-06-21 11:38:33 AM  
2.bp.blogspot.com

He should get himself a wedding sack.
 
2012-06-21 11:40:03 AM  
Sounds mormon.
 
2012-06-21 11:40:14 AM  
At least this story had a description of the man the radio report I heard this morning just said main in his 20s.
 
2012-06-21 11:40:29 AM  
Why are these women disobeying the will of Landru God?
 
2012-06-21 11:40:45 AM  
A manhunt? Is this how we treat our prophets these days?
 
2012-06-21 11:41:39 AM  

Joelogon: God chose 3 different women in 3 days. Looks like God isn't very picky.


He could just be greedy.

Remove the grabbing and dragging and you have the BYU equivalent of "Nice shoes wanna fark?"

60% of the time it works every time, if you are handsome and well dressed.
 
2012-06-21 11:41:40 AM  
I sure if Ned Flanders had asked, the helpful staff at Barnes & Noble would have looked up "Russian brides for sale or rent" online for him.
 
2012-06-21 11:42:03 AM  
Why can't we be more accepting of other cultures and religions? When did "in god we trust" disappear compltely?
 
2012-06-21 11:45:21 AM  
Nice of the customers to intervene and stop the choosing. If it had been in Brooklyn they would have helped him load her up

This is a nice open air retail location in the burbs on Atlanta. On-site security, etc. Heavily republican and tea party neighborhood. A good portion are probably packing. Not your prime hunting grounds for the average creeper
 
2012-06-21 11:45:29 AM  
If the man is Christian, he will be denounced as a wacko by Fox News and perhaps a Liberal plant. If he is Muslim, he will represent ALL Muslim and therefore, the upper class deserve a tax cut.
 
2012-06-21 11:46:15 AM  
images.wikia.com

What the suspect may look like.
 
2012-06-21 11:48:25 AM  
i48.tinypic.com
 
2012-06-21 11:48:33 AM  

LarryDan43: Sounds mormon.


Came in to say this... not much different than my F in Law telling his then girlfriend that he had a vision that they should be married and should both pray on it to get the answer.
Don't question a vision from God, right?
 
2012-06-21 11:48:48 AM  
I drive by this mini-mall every day. It's called a Lifestyle Center. I call it Ye Olde Strip Mall.
 
2012-06-21 11:51:14 AM  

Pinner: ...my F in Law...


Should've studied harder.
 
2012-06-21 11:51:30 AM  
Notice how the lamestream media story immediately labels the women God chose to be this prophet's wives as "victims"?
 
2012-06-21 11:51:42 AM  
Bah. I wish God would select someone to help me pack: I've got to be out of here at the end of July.

But God knows I'm lazy so s/he'll have to show up without any effort from me.
 
2012-06-21 11:52:13 AM  

Rapmaster2000: I drive by this mini-mall every day. It's called a Lifestyle Center. I call it Ye Olde Strip Mall.


Worked for 6 years at the one on Pleasant Hill. Sad to say it is closing up right now.

Who would have thought that having two B&Ns less than 9 miles apart would be a recipe for diaster?

/our store only sold books (no music or movies)
//probably why it failed
 
2012-06-21 11:53:27 AM  

Whiskey Dickens: Pinner: ...my F in Law...

Should've studied harder.


Ha! Nice one. Didn't even see that...
 
2012-06-21 11:54:05 AM  
why would God endorse shopping at a Barnes and Noble.
just seems a bit fruity..
 
2012-06-21 11:54:20 AM  

JohnCarter: Nice of the customers to intervene and stop the choosing. If it had been in Brooklyn they would have helped him load her up


What makes you say that?

dr.zaeus: Who would have thought that having two B&Ns less than 9 miles apart would be a recipe for diaster?


There far more than two within 9 miles of where I'm sitting right now and it works just fine. Of course I'm sitting in Manhattan...
 
2012-06-21 11:55:26 AM  
Kicking this guy out means B&N loses 17% its customers
 
2012-06-21 11:55:41 AM  

dr.zaeus: Rapmaster2000: I drive by this mini-mall every day. It's called a Lifestyle Center. I call it Ye Olde Strip Mall.

Worked for 6 years at the one on Pleasant Hill. Sad to say it is closing up right now.

Who would have thought that having two B&Ns less than 9 miles apart would be a recipe for diaster?

/our store only sold books (no music or movies)
//probably why it failed


I've only been to this one - the one in the article. The only thing I remember about it is there's this upper-middle class suburban white kid that works there who sounds like an extra from Boyz in da Hood. He's like "aw hell naw, dawg, for real!?". It's hilarious, but he's not actually trying to be funny.
 
2012-06-21 11:56:19 AM  
There are still Barnes & Nobles?
 
2012-06-21 11:56:28 AM  
God helps those who help themselves.

//off to help myselves to nubile little ladies at the mall.
 
2012-06-21 11:56:39 AM  
So this is one of the times when God speaking to someone makes them crazy? It is so hard to keep up with when God's Holy Directives are to be ignored or deemed insanity....help me out here, is there some watermark or digital fingerprint that i should look for when i think i have a message from god? Anyone?
 
2012-06-21 11:58:24 AM  
Not sure what the problem is. Given the popularity of the whole Twilight thing I'm under the impression this is exactly how modern American women want to be treated. Regular conversation is for godless liberals.
 
2012-06-21 11:59:31 AM  

asmodeus224: So this is one of the times when God speaking to someone makes them crazy? It is so hard to keep up with when God's Holy Directives are to be ignored or deemed insanity....help me out here, is there some watermark or digital fingerprint that i should look for when i think i have a message from god? Anyone?


If God asks you to do something that violates his Prime Directives - love God & love your neighbor - then it's not God talking to you. However, at that point, you might not be coherent enough to make that distinction.
 
2012-06-21 12:00:27 PM  

dragonchild: Not sure what the problem is. Given the popularity of the whole Twilight thing I'm under the impression this is exactly how modern American women want to be treated. Regular conversation is for godless liberals.


No, young women want 90-year-old men creeping into their bedrooms late at night to watch them sleep.
 
2012-06-21 12:01:05 PM  
I would've picked up a copy of Julius Caesar's Commentarii de Bello Gallico (Commentaries on the Gallic War) and crushed that creepy SOB with it.

/It's a book the size of a coffee table.

Rev. Skarekroe: I've been to that Barnes & Noble.
I was disappointed that they didn't carry Fortean Times.


Mine does. Maybe it's in a weird place. My store keeps putting it next to the smutty magazines.
 
2012-06-21 12:03:06 PM  

dr.zaeus: Who would have thought that having two B&Ns less than 9 miles apart would be a recipe for diaster?


Retail can be a fickle, fickle beast. I worked at the oldest store of a bookstore chain that got bought out by B&N in the early 90s. Everyone in North Austin went to that store, it was just the place you got books. B&N opened two Barnes & Nobles within 3 miles in order to suck business away from it, so they'd have a cover story to close it and retire the brand. One of the competing stores had to close, it was losing money hand over fist. The other one had to move to a better location. Finally, after five years of this, B&N said FARK IT and just closed the original store out of spite.
 
2012-06-21 12:03:09 PM  
Should have placed a quick call, just to confirm the plan.

i46.tinypic.com
 
2012-06-21 12:05:30 PM  
witnesses describe as having brownish-skin, black hair...

Not the best description here. Light skinned black guy? Indian? Hispanic? George Hamilton?
 
2012-06-21 12:08:44 PM  

reillan: asmodeus224: So this is one of the times when God speaking to someone makes them crazy? It is so hard to keep up with when God's Holy Directives are to be ignored or deemed insanity....help me out here, is there some watermark or digital fingerprint that i should look for when i think i have a message from god? Anyone?

If God asks you to do something that violates his Prime Directives - love God & love your neighbor - then it's not God talking to you. However, at that point, you might not be coherent enough to make that distinction.


You mean like sacrifice your son on an altar? Was that God talking or one of Abraham's "crazy" moments? I mean this story really seems like one of God's tamer choices/commandments.

/ Christianity like all other religions is a big pile of crap and a furthermore, a cult of Judaism
 
2012-06-21 12:09:48 PM  
From the article:

t0.gstatic.com

The man was heard screaming: "I love you, Mary. You're my wife!"

That's when Mary, our town's spinster librarian screamed, sending Bert, the cop on duty, after the man.
 
2012-06-21 12:11:55 PM  
How, exactly, have law enforcement agencies established that God did not in fact choose the woman to be the man's wife??
 
2012-06-21 12:18:44 PM  

Elzar: Christianity like all other religions is a big pile of crap and a furthermore, a cult of Judaism


I agree with the big pile of crap bit.

but...

It is a cult of a cult (of a cult of a cult)

// Akhenaten frowns on Judaism
 
2012-06-21 12:19:27 PM  

reillan: asmodeus224: So this is one of the times when God speaking to someone makes them crazy? It is so hard to keep up with when God's Holy Directives are to be ignored or deemed insanity....help me out here, is there some watermark or digital fingerprint that i should look for when i think i have a message from god? Anyone?

If God asks you to do something that violates his Prime Directives - love God & love your neighbor - then it's not God talking to you. However, at that point, you might not be coherent enough to make that distinction.


I propose a new 'game' for Fark... it could be like the ps contests or farktography... a new tag for the contests... voting enabled... but instead of 'smartest' of 'funniest' the options would be 'religious' or 'mentally ill'... tally up the results and show a special sub-tag for the result.

of course, I suppose any story about a person who has a 'relationship' with an unknowable omnipotent being void of shape or form who controls everything would probably result in a 'mentally ill' result... at least for anyone with even the most meager of critical thinking skills.

could still be interesting. if for no reason other than to accumulate all these religious wacko stories into one place on the inner-tubes.
 
2012-06-21 12:20:57 PM  
Am I missing something in the article? It claims that there are three victims. But in the case of the last one, it sounds like someone (who may or may not have been the same guy) just pulled up in a car as though he wanted directions, and then asked for directions.
 
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