I always say Thank You after I get a BJ. Seems to help my relationship!

My grand mother told me that this was one of the keys to her long marriage (75 years) to my grandfather. Also, never go to bed angry at each other.

My parents have been together 30 years and say that the 'please' and 'thank you', kind words, and thoughtful actions have kept their marriage strong.

Since many of my friends have divorced or are in the process of one, I'm taking the words of my older relations very seriously.

Some ways of saying thank you are better than others. Just throwing it out there.

The Bunyip: Some ways of saying thank you are better than others. Just throwing it out there.

...and yet none of them preclude also taking a single second to utter a sincere "thank you".

/the ROI for courtesy is impressive

Bschott007: My grand mother told me that this was one of the keys to her long marriage (75 years) to my grandfather. Also, never go to bed angry at each other

No it is never go to sleep angry at each other. It is actually a good thing to go to bed angry with your wife.

A BJ *is* a fine display of gratitude, certainly better than mere words.

/and you say girls never wear sensible shoes...
//hot-lipped, and hot-linky

Saiga410: Bschott007: My grand mother told me that this was one of the keys to her long marriage (75 years) to my grandfather. Also, never go to bed angry at each other

No it is never go to sleep angry at each other. It is actually a good thing to go to bed angry with your wife.

Nice.

Lyonid

...and yet none of them preclude also taking a single second to utter a sincere "thank you".



But more than words is all you have to do to make it real

The Bunyip: Lyonid

...and yet none of them preclude also taking a single second to utter a sincere "thank you".



But more than words is all you have to do to make it real

1 - Words are real. If your partner is incapable of conveying sincerity or if you're incapable of perceiving it, those are separate issues.

2 - Any time you find yourself doubting the potential impact of words alone, try to recall the last time a loved one uttered something hurtful to you. Did they have to also break a dish for it to affect you?

3 - As alluded to in the slashie, being kind with words costs next to nothing, but has a very real impact all the same. Of COURSE you can make a tangible gesture to accompany your words (note the word "also" in my original statement). Failing to do so each and every time doesn't render the words themselves somehow "unreal" though.

Always treat your partner better than you would a stranger. Politeness doesn't cost you anything and it makes them feel valued. It also prevents you from taking them for granted, which is much more damaging to a marriage than you would think. Find something to thank them for every day, even if it is 'their job'. Feeling appreciated and appreciating your partner is never bad for the relationship.

/15th anniversary today
/lived together 12 years before that.

This works with roommates, too.

Lyonid:

1 - Words are real. If your partner is incapable of conveying sincerity or if you're incapable of perceiving it, those are separate issues.

2 - Any time you find yourself doubting the potential impact of words alone, try to recall the last time a loved one uttered something hurtful to you. Did they have to also break a dish for it to affect you?

3 - As alluded to in the slashie, being kind with words costs next to nothing, but has a very real impact all the same. Of COURSE you can make a tangible gesture to accompany your words (note the word "also" in my original statement). Failing to do so each and every time doesn't render the words themselves somehow "unreal" though.

It's not that I want you not to say, but if you only knew how easy it would be to show me how you feel

/this might be easier if I knew what year you were born
//FWIW, I totally agree with you

Dont be a shiathead. be polite to everyone.

I always say "thank you" but your mom still seems really unhappy in her relationship. Weird.

A Leaf in Fall: This works with roommates, too.

Nuh huh! I say thank you to my wife, she feels appreciated and gives me a beej. Not sure that works with roommates.

It does help to be genuinely grateful your partner puts up with you - thanking her/him just for being should be a daily thing. It is in my house.

Less "please" and "thank you"s, and more BJs, please.