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(Some Guy)   Starting tomorrow, you can pick up some gently used properties in and around Detroit, just like this one, for around about $500   (whydontweownthis.com) divider line 115
    More: PSA, Chicago  
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20770 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 Jun 2012 at 9:21 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-06-21 09:24:01 AM
Then you can pay for its demo!!
 
2012-06-21 09:24:50 AM
1) Buy up a bunch of properties next to each other for about $10k
2) Demolish everything
3) Build a superfortress out of salvaged materials and exert your will upon the remaining people of Detroit
4) ???
5) Profit
 
2012-06-21 09:25:20 AM
Year Built: 0

That's one old house.
 
2012-06-21 09:27:43 AM
Needs a new roof.
 
2012-06-21 09:27:53 AM
I'm glad it is labeled both a vacant lot and a structure. That's honestly the best way of describing it.
 
2012-06-21 09:28:05 AM
Pretty soon you will be able to own Detroit for the change in your couch cushions.....though a cup of coffee might be a better investment.
 
2012-06-21 09:28:11 AM
Well, I know what I'm doing with my first big commission check from the new job.
 
2012-06-21 09:28:42 AM
Nice place, Detroit?
 
2012-06-21 09:29:08 AM
This is a teabaggers dream.

Finally they can live out the mad max scenerio they have been dreaming of!
 
2012-06-21 09:30:44 AM
Link is farked...
 
2012-06-21 09:32:03 AM
like the Oklahoma land rush all over again

except the other way
 
2012-06-21 09:32:33 AM
Let's buy Detroit and re-establish it as Farktown.
 
2012-06-21 09:33:02 AM
That isn't actually a terrible buy. Your demo and cleanup there would be nice and cheap to turn it into a clean vacant lot. I mean its something you could even bang out on your own with a few loads in a pickup and a day laborer.

No idea what the taxes could be on a vacant lot there, but they can't be much. So you just sit on it, and hope one day 20 years from now that neighborhood turns around.
 
2012-06-21 09:34:29 AM
It would be cheaper to buy all of Detroit than 98% of Lanai.
 
2012-06-21 09:34:42 AM
www.progarchives.com
 
2012-06-21 09:35:06 AM

LineNoise: That isn't actually a terrible buy. Your demo and cleanup there would be nice and cheap to turn it into a clean vacant lot. I mean its something you could even bang out on your own with a few loads in a pickup and a day laborer.

No idea what the taxes could be on a vacant lot there, but they can't be much. So you just sit on it, and hope one day 20 years from now that neighborhood turns around.



well, its gotten so much nicer in the last 40 years, whats another 20?

you will be dead and rotten in the ground before its worth anything, if ever. maybe I am wrong. but its Detroit.
 
2012-06-21 09:35:39 AM
I'll be there. If you can find land in the proper area you can make decent money renting it out. I own three properties in Detroit. They were dumps when I bought them, but rehabbing them gave my retired father and father in law something to do. There are a number law firms, accounting firms, and of course white collar workers that work for GM in the RenCen. A number of the younger ones are happy to rent a nice one bedroom apartment or small house in the safe zone rather than have some commute from hell up I-75 to Oakland County every night. They'll stick around for a year or two, until they move in with a wife/gf/fiancee and then move out. Normally though they'll recommend the place to another recent hire and thus word of mouth keeps the place filled.

The trick of course 99% of the property is in a bad area and/or has a foundation that's farked beyond belief (and thus extremely expensive to fix up). It's all about finding one in the safe zone, with intact foundation, and a decent number of surviving structural beams. Those are kind of rare.

/the big problem is with the planned police layoffs the size of the green zone is likely to shrink, so figuring out where its safe to buy property is a big past time of the landlords right now
 
2012-06-21 09:36:22 AM

Raharu: This is a teabaggers dream.

Finally they can live out the mad max scenerio they have been dreaming of!


Derp.

It's too early for that kind of stupidity, son.
 
2012-06-21 09:38:48 AM
WHO RUN FARKERTOWN?
 
2012-06-21 09:39:30 AM
im in. ill buy a whole block, import my people, arm then, and then, fark you.
 
2012-06-21 09:40:25 AM

Raharu: This is a teabaggers dream.

Finally they can live out the mad max scenerio they have been dreaming of!


0/10, too obvious.
 
2012-06-21 09:41:35 AM

Technoir: WHO RUN FARKERTOWN?


market-ticker.org
 
2012-06-21 09:42:08 AM
link farked
 
2012-06-21 09:42:09 AM

elffster: LineNoise: That isn't actually a terrible buy. Your demo and cleanup there would be nice and cheap to turn it into a clean vacant lot. I mean its something you could even bang out on your own with a few loads in a pickup and a day laborer.

No idea what the taxes could be on a vacant lot there, but they can't be much. So you just sit on it, and hope one day 20 years from now that neighborhood turns around.


well, its gotten so much nicer in the last 40 years, whats another 20?

you will be dead and rotten in the ground before its worth anything, if ever. maybe I am wrong. but its Detroit.


Yea, but what is my out of pocket costs for a lot there? Maybe 1k to buy it and clear it, and then a couple hundred bucks a year tops to pay the taxes on it and maintain it to minimum standards? Sure its a gamble, but it isn't an absurd one.
 
2012-06-21 09:42:15 AM
You'd going to have to offer me a lot more than $500, friendo.
 
2012-06-21 09:42:28 AM

ha-ha-guy: ...A number of the younger ones are happy to rent a nice one bedroom apartment or small house in the safe zone rather than...


I am so happy to live in a city that does not have designated "safe zones".
 
2012-06-21 09:42:39 AM
Do you get to keep the squatters in the properties?
 
2012-06-21 09:42:59 AM

DirkTheDaring: You'd going to


Me talk pretty some day.
 
2012-06-21 09:43:55 AM

LineNoise: That isn't actually a terrible buy. Your demo and cleanup there would be nice and cheap to turn it into a clean vacant lot. I mean its something you could even bang out on your own with a few loads in a pickup and a day laborer.

No idea what the taxes could be on a vacant lot there, but they can't be much. So you just sit on it, and hope one day 20 years from now that neighborhood turns around.


The big issue is back taxes. Detroit's had all kinds of various sales over the past few years to try to get properties back on the tax roles. Sometimes they sell the houses for cheap but also require you pay the back taxes. In other cases if you turn it into a flat lot they'll be slow to send the assessor out and keep charging you property tax as if you have a fully habitable bungalow on the property. When you complain they'll just say "You're on the list" and leave it at that. Plus of course fines. For example when the junkies or dealers start hanging out on your lot, they'll nail you with some of the anti gang ordinances and fine you for it. So you put up a fence to keep them out. They tear down the fence, you build another one. Repeat constantly. I know some land speculators who bought in less desirable neighborhoods and have paid thousands in fencing and fines so far.

It's better to buy the property in an area where you can get some rental business or an area that's about to grabbed up for development. One of my properties is right where they're building that new bridge, so I have mixed feelings about that. Big lump sum payment, but on the other hand I've had plenty of rental income out of the place and could continue to do so if they weren't sticking an access road or truck inspection terminal where my house is.
 
2012-06-21 09:47:07 AM
can i pay in crack
 
2012-06-21 09:48:49 AM
 
2012-06-21 09:49:04 AM
How about we just tear down part of the city and build a huge nuclear power plant?

No CO2 emissions power to back fill all the coal plants the government is shutting down and jobs. If by chance there was some kind of accident, it really would just improve things.

It's a Win Win
 
2012-06-21 09:51:42 AM

AxL sANe: Year Built: 0

That's one old house.


built by the J-man himself
 
2012-06-21 09:52:19 AM

ha-ha-guy: LineNoise: That isn't actually a terrible buy. Your demo and cleanup there would be nice and cheap to turn it into a clean vacant lot. I mean its something you could even bang out on your own with a few loads in a pickup and a day laborer.

No idea what the taxes could be on a vacant lot there, but they can't be much. So you just sit on it, and hope one day 20 years from now that neighborhood turns around.

The big issue is back taxes. Detroit's had all kinds of various sales over the past few years to try to get properties back on the tax roles. Sometimes they sell the houses for cheap but also require you pay the back taxes. In other cases if you turn it into a flat lot they'll be slow to send the assessor out and keep charging you property tax as if you have a fully habitable bungalow on the property. When you complain they'll just say "You're on the list" and leave it at that. Plus of course fines. For example when the junkies or dealers start hanging out on your lot, they'll nail you with some of the anti gang ordinances and fine you for it. So you put up a fence to keep them out. They tear down the fence, you build another one. Repeat constantly. I know some land speculators who bought in less desirable neighborhoods and have paid thousands in fencing and fines so far.

It's better to buy the property in an area where you can get some rental business or an area that's about to grabbed up for development. One of my properties is right where they're building that new bridge, so I have mixed feelings about that. Big lump sum payment, but on the other hand I've had plenty of rental income out of the place and could continue to do so if they weren't sticking an access road or truck inspection terminal where my house is.


Yea, I guess it depends on how seriously the city wants to fix their problem, or if they just want a cash grab. I thought Detroit's plan for these neighborhoods was to just bulldoze them, plant some grass, and call it a day?
 
2012-06-21 09:55:02 AM
Sounds like a bargain until you meet the roving gangs of Democrats looking to rob and kill you for your running shoes.
 
2012-06-21 09:55:41 AM

ha-ha-guy: /the big problem is with the planned police layoffs the size of the green zone is likely to shrink, so figuring out where its safe to buy property is a big past time of the landlords right now


Not sure if discussing Baghdad or Detroit.
 
2012-06-21 09:56:03 AM

MilesTeg: How about we just tear down part of the city and build a huge nuclear power plant?

No CO2 emissions power to back fill all the coal plants the government is shutting down and jobs. If by chance there was some kind of accident, it really would just improve things.

It's a Win Win


We already have a nuclear plant - down by Monroe. So we're covered that way.

Thanks!
 
2012-06-21 09:58:07 AM

LineNoise: Yea, I guess it depends on how seriously the city wants to fix their problem, or if they just want a cash grab. I thought Detroit's plan for these neighborhoods was to just bulldoze them, plant some grass, and call it a day?


Those are the the ones the city seizes and keeps for itself. There are (in theory) areas they still want residents. In a lot of cases they're actually just offering you a deal where if you pay 500 and live there, they forgive you past property tax debt and let you keep the place.

Personally I tend to biatch about it a lot since they're somewhat hostile to out of town landlords. I'll take the the place, pay the taxes, and fill it with white collar workers who will spend money downtown. However the city wants perma residents so they make it harder for me to buy and give it to the person who is already 3 or 4 thousand behind on property taxes. Five years from now it will be the same thing all over again. They keep the slum lords out, but create slum residents in the process.
 
2012-06-21 09:58:50 AM

Jubeebee: ha-ha-guy: /the big problem is with the planned police layoffs the size of the green zone is likely to shrink, so figuring out where its safe to buy property is a big past time of the landlords right now

Not sure if discussing Baghdad or Detroit.


We stole the term from Baghdad and use it to describe the area that is roughly inside the track of the People Mover and normally fairly safe.
 
2012-06-21 10:01:55 AM
thankfully we've resisted posting the kentucky fried movie image. That shiat was getting real old.

/I like the nuclear plant idea. Monroe is way down river.
 
2012-06-21 10:07:34 AM

AxL sANe: Year Built: 0

That's one old house.


yearzero.nin.com

Approves.
 
2012-06-21 10:10:22 AM

LineNoise: Yea, I guess it depends on how seriously the city wants to fix their problem, or if they just want a cash grab. I thought Detroit's plan for these neighborhoods was to just bulldoze them, plant some grass, and call it a day?


Yep. You they are talking about cutting off services to parts of the city and letting those area go back to nature. Your little piece of vacant land will never be worth much without access to sewer, water, and electricity.

Oh, and Detroit is also a corrupt, lawless hell hole. Your likely to be fined, taxed, and harassed by the government, and then when someone abandons a car or something on your vacant lot, you'll be sued by ten different people who claim they were injured by that abandoned trash. Of course those lawsuits may come before or after the notice that you've been fined $500 a day for not removing that trash.... after those fines build up for a year.
 
2012-06-21 10:11:43 AM
Hey, David McQueen. Have I got some hot property for you. It's in prime location and can be had for just 20k. In fact, if you write me a check for 16k right now, I can get it for you.

Look, there's a little risk. It's in Detroit and your gonna have to sit on it for a few weeks. Just to make sure everything is cool, right? The Indian Bureau of Land Management doesn't like it when hot property sells just before a big deal goes down. I'm not saying huge Native American Gaming Facility but the land is in prime development for a huge NAGF. As soon at the Great White leaders in Washington sign off on it, there will be a land rush, my friend. And your property in ground, freaking, ZERO!

That 16k will bring you 160k minimum. You'll be richer than ten Jebuses! Get out your checkbook buddy. Your old friend Harry Freakstorm wouldn't guide you wrong.
 
2012-06-21 10:11:56 AM

LineNoise:
No idea what the taxes could be on a vacant lot there, but they can't be much. So you just sit on it, and hope one day 20 years from now that neighborhood turns around.


That's assuming that there will even be a neighborhood. I hear that in some areas, the city is actually pulling out pipes and infrastructure- the city is literally shrinking. Your valuable lot might be in the middle of the woods before long.

/bet they keep taxing it at the same rate, though
 
2012-06-21 10:17:51 AM

some_beer_drinker: What detroit residents really think


That is the greatest video I've ever seen.

/ ever.
 
2012-06-21 10:18:48 AM

Gumaraid: Sounds like a bargain until you meet the roving gangs of Democrats looking to rob and kill you for your running shoes.


We get it. They're black.
 
2012-06-21 10:21:18 AM

htomc: LineNoise:
No idea what the taxes could be on a vacant lot there, but they can't be much. So you just sit on it, and hope one day 20 years from now that neighborhood turns around.

That's assuming that there will even be a neighborhood. I hear that in some areas, the city is actually pulling out pipes and infrastructure- the city is literally shrinking. Your valuable lot might be in the middle of the woods before long.


Hell that's even better.
 
2012-06-21 10:22:03 AM

Jubeebee: ha-ha-guy: /the big problem is with the planned police layoffs the size of the green zone is likely to shrink, so figuring out where its safe to buy property is a big past time of the landlords right now

Not sure if discussing Baghdad or Detroit.


That'sthejoke.jpg congrats!
 
2012-06-21 10:30:36 AM
You're really a Detroiter

*If you pronounce the 's' in Livernois
*If you do your shopping at "Meijer's"
*If you refer to the #2 automaker as "Ford's"
 
2012-06-21 10:37:28 AM

Harry Freakstorm: Hey, David McQueen. Have I got some hot property for you. It's in prime location and can be had for just 20k. In fact, if you write me a check for 16k right now, I can get it for you.

Look, there's a little risk. It's in Detroit and your gonna have to sit on it for a few weeks. Just to make sure everything is cool, right? The Indian Bureau of Land Management doesn't like it when hot property sells just before a big deal goes down. I'm not saying huge Native American Gaming Facility but the land is in prime development for a huge NAGF. As soon at the Great White leaders in Washington sign off on it, there will be a land rush, my friend. And your property in ground, freaking, ZERO!

That 16k will bring you 160k minimum. You'll be richer than ten Jebuses! Get out your checkbook buddy. Your old friend Harry Freakstorm wouldn't guide you wrong.


So I guess Abramoff is out of prison now, eh?
 
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