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(Patch)   News: Woman attacks husband after finding pornography in his car. Fark: It was copies of The Onion   (menomoneefalls.patch.com) divider line 126
    More: Dumbass, preliminary hearing, peppers, shepherd, Menomonee Falls  
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13714 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 Jun 2012 at 12:43 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-06-21 04:07:02 AM
That guy is so lucky she was crazy enough to piss the cops off so they didn't believe her bullshiat story about him attacking her.

/also, The Onion is pornographic? Did they start doing page 3 girls or something?
 
2012-06-21 04:24:17 AM

FirstNationalBastard: That guy is so lucky she was crazy enough to piss the cops off so they didn't believe her bullshiat story about him attacking her.

/also, The Onion is pornographic? Did they start doing page 3 girls or something?


One of my favorite early Onion articles was "Community Outraged Over Porn Tape: Did not Contain 'All-Anal' Action as Promised"

IIRC, they had a phony box cover shooped up for the article.
 
2012-06-21 05:18:25 AM
Why do men marry these crazy b*tches? I am truly amazed at what people put up with.
Search my sh*t and tell me what I can read? Adios Motherf*cker.
OTOH, I'd like to sponsor her for TF. Who's with me?
 
2012-06-21 10:17:37 AM
Conservative, prude, or some sort of hybrid?

I knew a woman who thought the Simpson's was obscene. That was well before Family Guy.
 
2012-06-21 10:30:50 AM

Diogenes: Conservative, prude, or some sort of hybrid?


She lives in Waukesha Co. which is pretty much the reddest of reddest of red counties in WI.. so yeah, gonna go w/ ultra conservative and very possibly uber-religious.
 
2012-06-21 10:34:19 AM
blogs.ocweekly.com
Menomonee!
 
2012-06-21 11:55:40 AM
legendsrevealed.com

Fine then!
I'd argue, but there's no point!
I'm leaving!
I'm leaving and I'm not coming back!
I said, I'm leaving.
That's right, I put on my coat and I've got my keys.
Do you understand me? This is IT! There is NO MORE!
You and me, we're QUITS! Finito, Adios, the big auf Wiedersehen!
 
2012-06-21 12:29:48 PM
so was he or wasn't he masturbating to the onion in his car?
 
2012-06-21 12:35:24 PM

thomps: so was he or wasn't he masturbating to the onion in his car?


Fun Toy Banned Because Of Three Stupid Dead Kids

*fap*fap*fap*fap*fap*fap*fap*fap*fap*fap*
 
2012-06-21 12:40:15 PM

Diogenes: thomps: so was he or wasn't he masturbating to the onion in his car?

Fun Toy Banned Because Of Three Stupid Dead Kids

*fap*fap*fap*fap*fap*fap*fap*fap*fap*fap*


i'm man enough to admit that i don't get the onion for the articles. i get it for those sweet sexy political cartoons featuring a crying statue of liberty.
 
2012-06-21 12:47:51 PM
Area Man's Wife Upset By His Pornography Collection
 
2012-06-21 12:48:17 PM
Back when I was married, my sister-in-law reported me to Department of Children and Family Services becasue her ten-year-old daughter came home with some porno mags that my step-daughter (also ten) had given her after my stepdaughter had finished reading them.

We are talking about copies of Mad Magazine here.

DCF called me and said the woman was hysterical and maybe we should search the kid's backpack before she leaves our house again because nobody at DCF wanted to get another call from the crazy lady again.
 
2012-06-21 12:49:56 PM

AbbeySomeone: Why do men marry these crazy b*tches?


Because of the power of p*ssy.

We wouldn't need a rule against sticking our dicks in crazy if crazy wasn't such a fun place to stick your dick (at least in the short term).
 
2012-06-21 12:50:45 PM
Attend Public Schools. Graduate. Beat your husband for pron. Discover you can't read or comprehend. Done.
 
2012-06-21 12:51:19 PM

hillary: Back when I was married, my sister-in-law reported me to Department of Children and Family Services becasue her ten-year-old daughter came home with some porno mags that my step-daughter (also ten) had given her after my stepdaughter had finished reading them.

We are talking about copies of Mad Magazine here.

DCF called me and said the woman was hysterical and maybe we should search the kid's backpack before she leaves our house again because nobody at DCF wanted to get another call from the crazy lady again.


Do these people actually know what porn is....?
 
2012-06-21 12:52:30 PM
Sometimes I get sad because I'm alone and suck with women. Then I read this, and it ain't so bad.
 
2012-06-21 12:55:16 PM
Onion or Onion Booty... Booty so go it will make you cry!
 
2012-06-21 12:55:40 PM

Satanic_Hamster: Do these people actually know what porn is....?


DCF was pretty cool about it, they recognized the situation for what it was -- a crazy-assed fundie lady who wanted me jailed because her snowflake had been exposed to secular comic books. They just didn't want any more calls from her, hence the suggestion to search the kid's backpack before sending her home.
 
2012-06-21 12:56:04 PM
For a second there I thought maybe this was an article from The Onion.
 
2012-06-21 12:56:28 PM
Lynne M. Rasbornik was charged in Waukesha County Circuit Court Monday with one count of disorderly conduct domestic abuse. If convicted, she faces up to 90 days in jail and her husband could be on the hook for as much as $1,000 in fines.

There's a price to pay for marrying crazy.
 
2012-06-21 12:57:29 PM
one time i was banging this broad, a real freak. the kind of girl that probably f*cked and s*cked her way off the farm and all the way to the barstool that i picked her up from. anyway, i'm railing her hard in all the right ways and she screams "oh god talk dirty to me." so i reposition myself on the sex-swing so i can get good and close to her ear and whisper "Special Olympics T-ball Stand Pitches Perfect Game."

i swear to god she came in waves right then and there.
 
2012-06-21 01:00:28 PM
SOUTHERN Menomonee Falls. Every south side is a little weird.

/Live there--really near the actual waterfall.

//It's pronounced Meh-NOM-anee, not MEE-no-MAH-nee...
 
2012-06-21 01:01:19 PM

thomps: one time i was banging this broad, a real freak. the kind of girl that probably f*cked and s*cked her way off the farm and all the way to the barstool that i picked her up from. anyway, i'm railing her hard in all the right ways and she screams "oh god talk dirty to me." so i reposition myself on the sex-swing so i can get good and close to her ear and whisper "Special Olympics T-ball Stand Pitches Perfect Game."

i swear to god she came in waves right then and there.


I like your style.
 
2012-06-21 01:03:15 PM
I saw the headline and immediately thought "Sheboygan," but then I saw the name of the link and thought "Close enough."

//No way 8 of 10 Wisconsin Farkers would have guessed differently.
 
2012-06-21 01:06:22 PM
Batshiat crazy wife is batshiat crazy
 
2012-06-21 01:07:45 PM

To The Escape Zeppelin!: thomps: one time i was banging this broad, a real freak. the kind of girl that probably f*cked and s*cked her way off the farm and all the way to the barstool that i picked her up from. anyway, i'm railing her hard in all the right ways and she screams "oh god talk dirty to me." so i reposition myself on the sex-swing so i can get good and close to her ear and whisper "Special Olympics T-ball Stand Pitches Perfect Game."

i swear to god she came in waves right then and there.

I like your style.



Well, I certainly don't. I want to hear more about the Special Olympics T-ball Stand . . .

/starts unzipping
 
2012-06-21 01:09:10 PM

craxyd: Batshiat crazy wife is batshiat crazy


this this more this

NOTE TO ALL WIVES: your husband masturbates and has porn. either you admit this or he is lying to you that he doesnt.
there really isnt a middle ground here
 
2012-06-21 01:09:31 PM
What happened to Wisconsin, man? I thought the upper Midwest was mostly reasonable, somewhat boring but basically decent people who talk a little funny but are otherwise alright.

Now, it's like crazy Fundyland. The South had that first, motherfarkers. Find another shtick.
 
2012-06-21 01:10:22 PM

Diogenes: Conservative, prude, or some sort of hybrid?


Funny thing about porn (and sexual activity in general, especially when people are paying money for anything sexual) is that there's an extremest branch of feminism ("radical feminism") that hates it just as much, but is (at least in every other respect) as liberal as you can imagine. That this is something that (some) fundies and (some) libby-libs can agree on is a crazy Ouroboros mind-twisting conundrum.

Feminist views of pornography

Of course the reasoning is very different: social conservatives think that porn is sinful, while radical feminists see (most) porn as being the very embodiment of patriarch and misogyny. Then there are sex-positive feminists, who think porn is great.
 
2012-06-21 01:11:08 PM
She's probably fussing over the Savage Love column. I can't leave The Onion around the house in case the kids see that. They're not quite old enough for it yet.
 
2012-06-21 01:11:39 PM
There are ads for adult chat lines on the back page. Oooh, scandalous!

/don't stick your dick in crazy
 
2012-06-21 01:12:32 PM

HotWingConspiracy: Sometimes I get sad because I'm alone and suck with women. Then I read this, and it ain't so bad.


One cheap date or one year of TF. That should also help.
 
2012-06-21 01:14:11 PM

Satanic_Hamster: Do these people actually know what porn is....?


To according to many fundies, "pron" is anything that they think is unsuitable to read from a pulpit.

CSB time
I was once accused of reciting "porn" during a sermon.
The porn was Song of Solomon, the sermon was about not being a prude like the woman in TFA.
I didn't even got to finish my sermon before being banned from the church for life, but it was worth it just to see the look on everyone's faces when I told them that "porn" was in their own Bible.
 
2012-06-21 01:22:25 PM

leftteffticle: Diogenes: Conservative, prude, or some sort of hybrid?

She lives in Waukesha Co. which is pretty much the reddest of reddest of red counties in WI.. so yeah, gonna go w/ ultra conservative and very possibly uber-religious.


fickenchucker: SOUTHERN Menomonee Falls. Every south side is a little weird.

/Live there--really near the actual waterfall.

//It's pronounced Meh-NOM-anee, not MEE-no-MAH-nee...


More like Me-No-Money Falls. It's actually a bit saner than New Berlin and Brookfield but only becuase there have been a ton of black people migrating down Appleton Ave to the Falls. When they get an ACC basketball recruit out of it glory be. Otherwise, it's a lot of white upper middle class women from 35-55 in tacky animal print.
 
2012-06-21 01:22:33 PM

fickenchucker: SOUTHERN Menomonee Falls. Every south side is a little weird.

/Live there--really near the actual waterfall.


Explains so much.
 
2012-06-21 01:23:08 PM

AbbeySomeone: OTOH, I'd like to sponsor her for TF. Who's with me?


Good answer.

www.details.com

I like the way you think.
 
2012-06-21 01:23:55 PM

Odd Bird: HotWingConspiracy: Sometimes I get sad because I'm alone and suck with women. Then I read this, and it ain't so bad.

One cheap date or one year of TF. That should also help.


Much like sex, I never pay for TF. It's always a lovely gift.
 
2012-06-21 01:28:23 PM

leftteffticle: Diogenes: Conservative, prude, or some sort of hybrid?

She lives in Waukesha Co. which is pretty much the reddest of reddest of red counties in WI.. so yeah, gonna go w/ ultra conservative and very possibly uber-religious.


Got $10 that says "Bi-polar and deep into her mnic phase which includes religious delusions"
 
2012-06-21 01:31:13 PM

Ken VeryBigLiar: leftteffticle: Diogenes: Conservative, prude, or some sort of hybrid?

She lives in Waukesha Co. which is pretty much the reddest of reddest of red counties in WI.. so yeah, gonna go w/ ultra conservative and very possibly uber-religious.

fickenchucker: SOUTHERN Menomonee Falls. Every south side is a little weird.

/Live there--really near the actual waterfall.

//It's pronounced Meh-NOM-anee, not MEE-no-MAH-nee...

More like Me-No-Money Falls. It's actually a bit saner than New Berlin and Brookfield but only becuase there have been a ton of black people migrating down Appleton Ave to the Falls. When they get an ACC basketball recruit out of it glory be. Otherwise, it's a lot of white upper middle class women from 35-55 in tacky animal print.


No, it's meh(or muh)-NOM-uh-nee. Also, "New BER-llin".
 
2012-06-21 01:32:31 PM
Awfully appealing isn't it
 
2012-06-21 01:34:48 PM

Wangiss: No, it's meh(or muh)-NOM-uh-nee. Also, "New BER-llin".


Not catching the joke, I take it?

/Am am aware of the where to put the emphasis in the latter
//As with Berlin, WI
 
2012-06-21 01:35:33 PM

Ken VeryBigLiar: Wangiss: No, it's meh(or muh)-NOM-uh-nee. Also, "New BER-llin".

Not catching the joke, I take it?

/Am am aware of the where to put the emphasis in the latter
//As with Berlin, WI


Oh. Double dumbass on me.

I love you. Goodnight.
 
2012-06-21 01:35:35 PM

Satanic_Hamster: hillary: Back when I was married, my sister-in-law reported me to Department of Children and Family Services becasue her ten-year-old daughter came home with some porno mags that my step-daughter (also ten) had given her after my stepdaughter had finished reading them.

We are talking about copies of Mad Magazine here.

DCF called me and said the woman was hysterical and maybe we should search the kid's backpack before she leaves our house again because nobody at DCF wanted to get another call from the crazy lady again.

Do these people actually know what porn is....?


When I was a budding preteen, my Dad and I had gone to my paternal grandmother's house for some errand I have long forgotten. At the time, my late uncle Jerry lived with Grandma, and he was a bit of a sleeze. My grandmother, who one should never leave personal property around, happen to notice these cartoon magazines sitting in the closet in Jerry's room, and thought that she would them to me and my brothers for entertainment, and my Dad, not given them a thorough look, accepted them. It was I, not my Dad (who liked to describe himself as a really bad person before his conversion,) not my grandmother, but a mere child who recognized the Hustler logo at the top, and immediately informed them. So, apparently, no, those people don't know what porn is.

From what I understand, Jerry got a good reaming over it...for nearly having his porn given away to kids without his knowledge. My family, especially by father's side, has always been really screwed up with it comes to ethics.

/csb
 
2012-06-21 01:37:17 PM

Satanic_Hamster: hillary: Back when I was married, my sister-in-law reported me to Department of Children and Family Services becasue her ten-year-old daughter came home with some porno mags that my step-daughter (also ten) had given her after my stepdaughter had finished reading them.

We are talking about copies of Mad Magazine here.

DCF called me and said the woman was hysterical and maybe we should search the kid's backpack before she leaves our house again because nobody at DCF wanted to get another call from the crazy lady again.

Do these people actually know what porn is....?


For them it's a catch-all term for any printed media they find disagreeable, apparently.

/dark-sided would work as well

Magorn: leftteffticle: Diogenes: Conservative, prude, or some sort of hybrid?

She lives in Waukesha Co. which is pretty much the reddest of reddest of red counties in WI.. so yeah, gonna go w/ ultra conservative and very possibly uber-religious.

Got $10 that says "Bi-polar and deep into her mnic phase which includes religious delusions"


And I still have to wonder...why/how do you marry someone like that?
 
2012-06-21 01:38:05 PM
Next time my wife gets mad at me for something fairly inane, I'm going to give her a hug, just for not being this women.
 
2012-06-21 01:39:02 PM

HotWingConspiracy: Odd Bird: HotWingConspiracy: Sometimes I get sad because I'm alone and suck with women. Then I read this, and it ain't so bad.

One cheap date or one year of TF. That should also help.

Much like sex, I never pay for TF. It's always a lovely gift.


/salutes with drink in hand.
 
2012-06-21 01:40:07 PM

Wangiss: Ken VeryBigLiar: Wangiss: No, it's meh(or muh)-NOM-uh-nee. Also, "New BER-llin".

Not catching the joke, I take it?

/Am am aware of the where to put the emphasis in the latter
//As with Berlin, WI

Oh. Double dumbass on me.

I love you. Goodnight.


No worries, at least it's not turning it a Wisconsin city pronounciation thread yet.

/Muscoda FTW
 
2012-06-21 01:40:36 PM
The Onion is in print? What a backward business model.
 
2012-06-21 01:43:05 PM

the ha ha guy: Satanic_Hamster: Do these people actually know what porn is....?

To according to many fundies, "pron" is anything that they think is unsuitable to read from a pulpit.

CSB time
I was once accused of reciting "porn" during a sermon.
The porn was Song of Solomon, the sermon was about not being a prude like the woman in TFA.
I didn't even got to finish my sermon before being banned from the church for life, but it was worth it just to see the look on everyone's faces when I told them that "porn" was in their own Bible.




Saw your handle, and I had to do it.
 
2012-06-21 01:45:22 PM

LoneWolf343: the ha ha guy: Satanic_Hamster: Do these people actually know what porn is....?

To according to many fundies, "pron" is anything that they think is unsuitable to read from a pulpit.

CSB time
I was once accused of reciting "porn" during a sermon.
The porn was Song of Solomon, the sermon was about not being a prude like the woman in TFA.
I didn't even got to finish my sermon before being banned from the church for life, but it was worth it just to see the look on everyone's faces when I told them that "porn" was in their own Bible.



Saw your handle, and I had to do it.


Goddammit, Fark. Quit eating my links.

fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net
 
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