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(Foobies)   Headline:"Smoke alarms could be disaster warning system." Um, isn't that their actual purpose already?   (thelocal.de) divider line 39
    More: Strange, warning systems, Politics of Germany, Bernie Ecclestone, Rhineland-Palatinate, 16th state, Red Square, German police, ESL IH Berlin  
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2374 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Jun 2012 at 5:12 PM (3 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



39 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-06-20 03:33:19 PM  
No. They are an emergency warning system. An emergency affects a few people. A disaster is a widespread event that threatens many people. Words mean things.
 
2012-06-20 03:58:21 PM  
No, they are battery monitors. They monitor the voltage of the batteries in them and then start beeping once the batteries' voltage has dropped to an unsafe level. Words mean things.
 
2012-06-20 04:23:54 PM  
No. They are surprise alarm clocks. An alarm clock wakes you up when you want it to. A surprise alarm clock wakes you up when you least expect it. Words mean things.
 
2012-06-20 05:14:45 PM  
No, they're how your mother determines if dinner is ready.
 
2012-06-20 05:15:37 PM  
I thought they were to let me know which apartments have idiots that can't cook living in them.

/idiot that can't cook, but I don't try at 4AM like one of my neighbors
 
2012-06-20 05:16:15 PM  
No. They used to indicate "blue light specials" at the now defunct K-Mart down the street from you. Words mean things.
 
2012-06-20 05:17:14 PM  
As mentioned above: oven timers.

I likes to opens 'em an licks 'em for that subtle-yet-flooshy radiation buzz.
 
2012-06-20 05:28:58 PM  
So anyway...... (stares into the middle distance for two beats).

Not a bad idea, although something like the reverse 911 system might be better (or aren't phones as widespread in Germany as they are in the States?)
 
2012-06-20 05:30:42 PM  
Dammit, I can't figure out how to turn this story into a political flamewar.
Paging RMoney and FartBongo!
 
2012-06-20 05:31:01 PM  
No. They are hearing tests. They emit a shrill beeping noise causing you to listen freeze and try to figure out which detector needs its battery replaced. Words mean things.
 
2012-06-20 05:36:13 PM  
No. They are a nice source of little packets of Am-241 - a nice source of ~5 MeV alphas. Words mean things.
 
2012-06-20 05:37:42 PM  
No. They are sanity-draining prank machines. They an erratic beeping noise causing you to wonder where the noise comes from, but never finding the source, driving you nuts while the asshole that placed it laughs maniacally. Words mean things.
 
2012-06-20 05:37:52 PM  
Arvle snarf hoopa doinga doinga do your mom farkle guff macadamia oobie dorf vaginal diarrhea snorkalactic buy TotalFark dinglepiss. Words mean things.
 
2012-06-20 05:37:52 PM  
This has the potential for some truly epic lulz. Imagine "POOL'S CLOSED" announced from every smoke alarm in the country, or porn moans, or a hoax warning of an incoming ICBM.
 
2012-06-20 05:38:58 PM  
www.fourgreensteps.com
 
2012-06-20 05:40:12 PM  
Whoops, wrong thread.
 
2012-06-20 05:40:16 PM  
Fortunately, German smoke alarm technology has advanced enough over the last 70 years where it can now tell the difference between a book, and a Jew.
 
2012-06-20 05:41:01 PM  
Words mean nothing. Except these; they mean even less.


/not born to stack shelves
 
2012-06-20 06:09:30 PM  
Smoke alarms/ carbon monoxide warning alarms shoud not be over complicated.
Alerting the public can be done in other methods- such as the US's National Weather Servce weather radio system. A dedicated receiver controlled by an appropiate government entity would serve the purpose. And the radio could be portable to allow citizens to be warned of emergeincies as they travel..Would relying on text message delivery over the celluar phone system operate during a serious major emergency? During the July 7 bombings in London, British government ordered the public cell system turned off in central London believing the devices may have been triggered by a terrorist ringing specific phones. (Although key officials had special cellphones that operated during the event). The weak link is what the government considers an emergency. Too many and people tend to disregard warnings and too few does not protect the public. Remember, on 2001 Sept 11= the US government did not activate the Emergency Alert System. In New Orleans, people attempting to flee the flood waters of Katrina did not have accurate, reliable instructions from the government, leaving them to guess what to do, possibly leading to injuries and death.
 
2012-06-20 06:11:10 PM  

Mr. Potatoass: Fortunately, German smoke alarm technology has advanced enough over the last 70 years where it can now tell the difference between a book, and a Jew.


The books are not self loading?
 
2012-06-20 06:15:20 PM  

turtleking: Mr. Potatoass: Fortunately, German smoke alarm technology has advanced enough over the last 70 years where it can now tell the difference between a book, and a Jew.

The books are not self loading?


Different combustion points.

/hey, I was already going to hell anyway.
 
2012-06-20 06:16:09 PM  
Might be nice for true emergencies, but I don't really want my smoke detector going off every time they issue an amber alert. It's bad enough when Comcast interrupts my TV viewing for several minutes with a long message and literally blocks me from changing the channel.

Look, I get it that getting the word out could help them find somebody, but it's not like I'm getting off my couch to go look for the "gray sedan with unknown plates" or whatever.
 
2012-06-20 06:17:09 PM  
A new fad emerges: triggering networked fire alarms at 2:00 and posting subsequent videos of girls in their undies running outside.
 
2012-06-20 06:20:20 PM  
I'm surprised Germany even bothered having an early warning system during the Cold War. What would everyone do with the 30 seconds warning?
 
2012-06-20 06:26:07 PM  

6655321: In New Orleans, people attempting to flee the flood waters of Katrina did not have accurate, reliable instructions from the government, leaving them to guess what to do, possibly leading to injuries and death.


That's a little tougher. All the electricity and cel phones were out. Land lines for the most part too.

Now, I know the government botched the hell out of Katrina... but communication is always almost impossible.

Hence, manditory evacuations.
 
2012-06-20 06:27:02 PM  

thisispete: I'm surprised Germany even bothered having an early warning system during the Cold War. What would everyone do with the 30 seconds warning?


Plenty of time for most Farkers to go out happy.
 
2012-06-20 06:30:38 PM  

thisispete: I'm surprised Germany even bothered having an early warning system during the Cold War. What would everyone do with the 30 seconds warning?


www.thewoolyyarn.com
?
 
2012-06-20 06:32:45 PM  

thisispete: I'm surprised Germany even bothered having an early warning system during the Cold War. What would everyone do with the 30 seconds warning?


Head between knees, kiss ass goodbye.
 
2012-06-20 06:38:04 PM  

downstairs: 6655321: In New Orleans, people attempting to flee the flood waters of Katrina did not have accurate, reliable instructions from the government, leaving them to guess what to do, possibly leading to injuries and death.

That's a little tougher. All the electricity and cell phones were out. Land lines for the most part too.

Now, I know the government botched the hell out of Katrina... but communication is always almost impossible.

Hence, manditory evacuations.


I know it was 7 years ago, but I could've sworn that they knew Katrina was New Orleans-bound for three days prior.
 
2012-06-20 07:26:31 PM  

Di Atribe: No. They are an emergency warning system. An emergency affects a few people. A disaster is a widespread event that threatens many people. Words mean things.


It's "disaster girl"...not "emergency girl"
s3-ec.buzzfed.com
she frowns upon your shenanigans
and wants to know where your house is
words mean things
 
2012-06-20 07:35:06 PM  
Seems annoying. Words mean things
 
2012-06-20 07:51:42 PM  
Fark you guys

/lol
 
2012-06-20 07:56:17 PM  
640 AND 1240.On your AM band!

I'll just leave this here.
 
2012-06-20 08:20:59 PM  

Di Atribe: I know it was 7 years ago, but I could've sworn that they knew Katrina was New Orleans-bound for three days prior.


indeed. Many chose to ignore this though.
And here's the best (not) part. 2 things happened as a result.
1. Massive influx of Katrina refugees from new orleans coming into the greater Houston area
2. Everyone in Houston said, holy fark, i really need to leave the next time a storm comes!

and when Rita came along soon thereafter, we had the ultimate clusterfark....

The entire farking city tried to evacuate north into spaces that were already completely occupied because of Katrina. There was no gasoline to be had. The concept of contraflow lanes was unknown. So you had an EPIC traffic jam over ~200 miles of highway. It was utter chaos. And it was also 90-something degrees outside. Tempers flared.

I know this because I lived it. it took me 26 hours to drive from Houston to my buddy's house in Dallas. And when i finally found gas at Madisonville, I met with people that had just arrived there that lived near where I live but that had left 6-8 hours before I did (we did some weaming in houston thankfully).

I can't recall exactly, but something like 100+ people died as a result of Rita. All but a handful died on a highway before the storm even arrived.

sorry for the threadjack - but no one remembers Rita. Fark you Rita. fortunately, this really got all the city planners off their asses and there's now much clearer procedures re contraflow, gasoline delivery, etc... Not sure about any upgrades to the cellular infrastructure though. And BTW the federal government was not to blame for that particular mess..
my house was fine. The neighborhood got a lot more damage from Ike than Rita, and Ike was only a cat 1-2, while Rita was a 4-5.
 
2012-06-20 08:43:59 PM  
FTFA...

The post-war system of 70,000 sirens across the country has been largely closed down, and responsibility for warning systems passed from the federal government to the 16 states.


The Krauts must not have a problem with tornadoes because here in flyover country, our sirens go off every spring.
 
2012-06-21 11:12:26 AM  

thisispete: I'm surprised Germany even bothered having an early warning system during the Cold War. What would everyone do with the 30 seconds warning?


Seconds warning with most conventional weapons is plenty to have a massive impact on mortality rate. There's a HUGE lethality difference between a blast hitting a standing person and a blast hitting a prone person.
 
2012-06-21 12:53:02 PM  

wjllope: sorry for the threadjack - but no one remembers Rita.


I remember Rita. I was in Dallas, so I had an easy time of it, but I remember. Katrina was already going on triple-layer disaster status & Rita comes along and basically puts a few more layers on it. Clusterfark is an understatement.
 
2012-06-22 07:12:49 AM  

wjllope: The concept of contraflow lanes was unknown.


Everyone loves to hate government until they need it.
 
2012-06-22 09:04:54 AM  
Chicken Kiev. Words mean things.

/I felt left out of the meme of the week
 
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