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(ABC Local)   You're parents and you're unsatisfied with the job a teacher volunteer is doing. Do you: C) plant marijuana & painkillers in said volunteer's unlocked car?   (abclocal.go.com) divider line 56
    More: Asinine, volunteers, teachers  
•       •       •

12688 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Jun 2012 at 2:04 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2012-06-20 12:16:49 PM  
4 votes:
I don't see that they had any other choice.
2012-06-20 12:12:46 PM  
4 votes:
I would consider that my tip if someone put weed and painkillers in my car
2012-06-20 03:06:28 PM  
3 votes:

libranoelrose: You can be singular or plural.



No I can't.
2012-06-20 02:32:45 PM  
3 votes:

SnakeLee: I don't get why the investigation turned to them if everyone is so shocked. They must have told one of the other parents, it just doesn't make sense. The police don't just start looking for security footage at all the buildings around anybody who could possibly have some interaction with a suspect.


More likely something like this:

Cops: Ma'am, we found these in your car.

Volunteer: Um, what the hell is that, even?

Cop: Drugs.

Vol: In my car? Really? I dunno, my car is generally unlocked, maybe check the security camera footage from the parking lot to see if someone stuck it in there while I was out?

Cop: Ha, that's weak. Hey, Cop 2, check this woman's ridiculous alibi so we're covered for the court case.

Cop 2: (watching tape) Holy shiat, she's right! Look at that stupid bastard who doesn't know that schools are closely monitored. You recognize this woman, Ma'am?

Vol: Yeah, that's the mother of student X. She yelled at me about X's grades the other day.

Cop: Huh. Hey, cop 2, have the lab see if the phone the false call came from had surveillance too, most of 'em do.

Cop 2: All right then (calls in, everyone has some coffee). Hey, you know this guy?

Vol: Yeah, that's Mr. X.

Cop: Damn, this one was easy. I should bring this up next time I'm going for detective.

Cop 2: And they would have gotten away with it if it wasn't for their pathological lack of awareness of typical surveillance techniques in place since the 80s. Jeepers.

*Law enforcement fist bump, driving into the sunset while soundtrack from the 70s plays*
2012-06-20 02:11:54 PM  
3 votes:
It appears that crazy stuck his dick in crazier.
2012-06-20 09:40:03 PM  
2 votes:
img713.imageshack.us
Looks like she picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue.
2012-06-20 03:27:43 PM  
2 votes:

AbbeySomeone: Mother became outraged and had a set to with volunteer parent and decided she would show her.


Well, she is licensed to Jill.
2012-06-20 03:25:18 PM  
2 votes:

Sticky Hands: Amos Quito: libranoelrose: You can be singular or plural.

No I can't.

There is no "I" in team.


www.teufelaffe.com
2012-06-20 03:21:21 PM  
2 votes:
Planting drugs? She should be charged with impersonating a police officer.
2012-06-20 03:21:01 PM  
2 votes:
And I do like the phrase "lawnmower parents", defined as "why hover overhead when you can destructively mow over every supposedly obstacle in your offspring's path?"
2012-06-20 03:19:56 PM  
2 votes:
This sentence, from the article, deserves irony tags: "Police say Jill Easter was upset with the parent volunteer because the couple believed the woman was not properly supervising their son."

If both of these geniuses get convicted, they lose parental custody of the son. A brilliant, well thought out plan altogether.
2012-06-20 03:16:20 PM  
2 votes:

Dr.Zom: That's the face of a guy who just realized his career is over.



You mean I should start looking for a new lawyer?
2012-06-20 02:55:16 PM  
2 votes:

MycroftHolmes: TheBeastOfYuccaFlats: The My Little Pony Killer: Subby should spend less time being bitter about teacher and more time applying themselves to grammar.

Strangely, the grammar is perfectly correct. Consider:

You are parents and you are unsatisfied with the job a teacher volunteer is doing...

The sentence is clumsy, but not grammatically flawed.

'You' is singlular and 'parents' is plural.

You are a parent and you are unsatisfied with the job....

would be more correct.


"You" is not singular. "You are idiots," for example, is perfectly correct.
GBB
2012-06-20 02:41:08 PM  
2 votes:

Weaver95: WTF were these people smoking!?


weedkiller and pain.
2012-06-20 02:33:58 PM  
2 votes:

Red Shirt Blues: [images.onset.freedom.com image 300x225]
She looks surprised.


Buttsecks?
2012-06-20 02:11:24 PM  
2 votes:
Another vote for setting subby on fire.
2012-06-20 01:31:19 PM  
2 votes:

GleeUnit: [images.onset.freedom.com image 300x225]

FTFA: "The 38-year-olds are accused of conspiring to try to have a parent volunteer at their son's elementary school in Irvine arrested."

I'm just gonna go ahead and throw this out there...

That's a pretty good lookin' 38 year old.


What's the worst thing about thirty eight year olds?

It's tough to keep them all locked up in your basement dungeon.
2012-06-20 12:45:12 PM  
2 votes:

The My Little Pony Killer: Subby should spend less time being bitter about teacher and more time applying themselves to grammar.


"Applying themselves to grammar"....?

Are you using Google translate?
2012-06-20 12:07:14 PM  
2 votes:
Will weed and/or painkillers make that headline easier to comprehend?
2012-06-20 12:05:44 PM  
2 votes:
Subby should spend less time being bitter about teacher and more time applying themselves to grammar.
2012-06-20 12:02:50 PM  
2 votes:
Am I going to get the weed and painkillers back after we get that farker out of there?
2012-06-20 09:18:14 PM  
1 votes:
I hope they like the people who'll be taking care of their kid while they're in prison.
2012-06-20 03:59:14 PM  
1 votes:

Noobian Noob: Bjorkholm em?!?!? I barely even knew em!

yeah, i have no idea how to pronounce that.


memearchive.net
2012-06-20 03:43:38 PM  
1 votes:

MAYORBOB: This sentence, from the article, deserves irony tags: "Police say Jill Easter was upset with the parent volunteer because the couple believed the woman was not properly supervising their son."

If both of these geniuses get convicted, they lose parental custody of the son. A brilliant, well thought out plan altogether.


If both these geniuses get convicted, they lose parental custody of the son. A brilliant, well thought our plan.

sorry... had to...
2012-06-20 03:38:01 PM  
1 votes:
Planting cannabis in a car is a bad idea unless you can get adequate air circulation to it, i.e. leaving the windows down, which is inviting theft and being ratted out by old offended Republicans.
2012-06-20 03:37:09 PM  
1 votes:
The newly engaged attorneys strolled through St. Mark's square in a downpour, stopping to dance to the waltz of a an outdoor band (still playing in the rain!) in front of the Basilica of St. Mark. Jill eventually came down with bronchitis, but, she insists, "It was worth it."

I'm seeing a pattern here of Not Thinking Things Through.
2012-06-20 03:34:43 PM  
1 votes:

umad: Amos Quito: libranoelrose: You can be singular or plural.


No I can't.

Agreed. Marriage is a terrible deal these days. I am happy to stay singular.


Singular? Their coverage sucks and I get dropped calls all the time.
2012-06-20 03:31:44 PM  
1 votes:
I am parents?

/you're morans
2012-06-20 03:31:10 PM  
1 votes:

Amos Quito: libranoelrose: You can be singular or plural.


No I can't.


Agreed. Marriage is a terrible deal these days. I am happy to stay singular.
2012-06-20 03:11:30 PM  
1 votes:

justanothersumguy:
It's Elementary.


Booooo

/What you did there
//I saw it
2012-06-20 03:10:03 PM  
1 votes:

Amos Quito: libranoelrose: You can be singular or plural.

No I can't.


There is no "I" in team.
2012-06-20 03:02:51 PM  
1 votes:
WTF did she do to her lips and eye brows?
2012-06-20 03:00:57 PM  
1 votes:

MycroftHolmes: 'You' is singlular and 'parents' is plural.


no, THOU art singular.
and WE are not amused.
2012-06-20 02:57:46 PM  
1 votes:
Woman's got a serious case of biatchface. Totally believe she'd do that shiat.
2012-06-20 02:55:23 PM  
1 votes:

robbiex0r: Am I the only one to notice?

[entertainment.wagerweb.com image 240x360]


Yeah, she's doing duckface.
2012-06-20 02:54:44 PM  
1 votes:

Jim_Callahan: SnakeLee: I don't get why the investigation turned to them if everyone is so shocked. They must have told one of the other parents, it just doesn't make sense. The police don't just start looking for security footage at all the buildings around anybody who could possibly have some interaction with a suspect.

More likely something like this:

Cops: Ma'am, we found these in your car.

Volunteer: Um, what the hell is that, even?

Cop: Drugs.

Vol: In my car? Really? I dunno, my car is generally unlocked, maybe check the security camera footage from the parking lot to see if someone stuck it in there while I was out?

Cop: Ha, that's weak. Hey, Cop 2, check this woman's ridiculous alibi so we're covered for the court case.

Cop 2: (watching tape) Holy shiat, she's right! Look at that stupid bastard who doesn't know that schools are closely monitored. You recognize this woman, Ma'am?

Vol: Yeah, that's the mother of student X. She yelled at me about X's grades the other day.

Cop: Huh. Hey, cop 2, have the lab see if the phone the false call came from had surveillance too, most of 'em do.

Cop 2: All right then (calls in, everyone has some coffee). Hey, you know this guy?

Vol: Yeah, that's Mr. X.

Cop: Damn, this one was easy. I should bring this up next time I'm going for detective.

Cop 2: And they would have gotten away with it if it wasn't for their pathological lack of awareness of typical surveillance techniques in place since the 80s. Jeepers.

*Law enforcement fist bump, driving into the sunset while soundtrack from the 70s plays*


Followed by "YEEEAAAAAAHHH!!"
2012-06-20 02:48:44 PM  
1 votes:

TheBeastOfYuccaFlats: The My Little Pony Killer: Subby should spend less time being bitter about teacher and more time applying themselves to grammar.

Strangely, the grammar is perfectly correct. Consider:

You are parents and you are unsatisfied with the job a teacher volunteer is doing...

The sentence is clumsy, but not grammatically flawed.


The sentence is a teenager, with big feet. That's why it's so clumsy. And you're right. The sentence is grammatically correct. Those darned English conjunctions are such a problem to so many. I blame Obama.
2012-06-20 02:37:53 PM  
1 votes:
i149.photobucket.com
Honest, officer - the stash was planted in our van by -um- disgruntled parents at the school where we do -er- volunteer work!
2012-06-20 02:36:33 PM  
1 votes:

GleeUnit: [images.onset.freedom.com image 300x225]

FTFA: "The 38-year-olds are accused of conspiring to try to have a parent volunteer at their son's elementary school in Irvine arrested."

I'm just gonna go ahead and throw this out there...

That's a pretty good lookin' 38 year old.


I'm with you. She'shiattable, and resembles someone famous (not that I can recall who...).

/She makes poor choices. I like that in a one-night stand.
//Improves my chances.
2012-06-20 02:34:07 PM  
1 votes:

durbnpoisn: Rapmaster2000: Jill and Kent Easter, both attorneys

Really lousy attorneys apparently.

That's what I was thinking as soon as I read that part of TFA. How does someone that stupid even make it through law school? How do 2 people that stupid make it through law school and end up marrying each other?!


They seem to have a habit for bad decisions.
2012-06-20 02:27:32 PM  
1 votes:

Rapmaster2000: Jill and Kent Easter, both attorneys

Really lousy attorneys apparently.


I disagree, they simply are evil. That in itself probably makes them pretty damn effective lawyers.
2012-06-20 02:26:33 PM  
1 votes:
I'd work her face.
2012-06-20 02:26:06 PM  
1 votes:
No, I would have smoked the weed and sold the pills to pay for the weed. Problem solved.

/parents these days.
2012-06-20 02:23:12 PM  
1 votes:

bongmiester: You are parents and you're unsatisfied with the job a volunteer teacher is doing.

guess that works, but i don't think that's what subby meant


Why? This may shock you, but some of us were paying attention that day in the third grade when we went over your and you're.

This thread is a damn Rotsky family reunion.
2012-06-20 02:22:08 PM  
1 votes:

Prank Call of Cthulhu: I typed her name into google to see if I could find any reviews of her lawyering services. Apparently she's been inactive in the California bar since 2005. Also, and I find this hilarious, one site lists her email address as "licensetojill@..."


What's the time?
It's time to get jill!
2012-06-20 02:22:03 PM  
1 votes:
img41.imageshack.us
Ve are not Nazis, but ven ve speak, you listen.
2012-06-20 02:21:51 PM  
1 votes:

stonicus: FTFA: Officers responded to the scene and found drugs in her car.
"She was shocked. She had no idea where those items came from," said Irvine Police Lt. Julia Engen. "Things just didn't seem to add up."

Man, that line NEVER works for me.


It helps if you don't look like a stoner.
2012-06-20 02:17:47 PM  
1 votes:
25.media.tumblr.com
2012-06-20 02:16:22 PM  
1 votes:
I typed her name into google to see if I could find any reviews of her lawyering services. Apparently she's been inactive in the California bar since 2005. Also, and I find this hilarious, one site lists her email address as "licensetojill@..."
2012-06-20 02:15:55 PM  
1 votes:
I found the problem
FTFA Jill and Kent Easter, both attorneys
2012-06-20 02:15:31 PM  
1 votes:

GleeUnit: [images.onset.freedom.com image 300x225]

FTFA: "The 38-year-olds are accused of conspiring to try to have a parent volunteer at their son's elementary school in Irvine arrested."

I'm just gonna go ahead and throw this out there...

That's a pretty good lookin' 38 year old.


Yes, he's a fine looking man.
2012-06-20 02:11:36 PM  
1 votes:

GleeUnit: [
That's a pretty good lookin' 38 year old.


Looking a little sugically surprised to me, buddy.
2012-06-20 02:11:20 PM  
1 votes:
FTFA: Officers responded to the scene and found drugs in her car.
"She was shocked. She had no idea where those items came from," said Irvine Police Lt. Julia Engen. "Things just didn't seem to add up."


Man, that line NEVER works for me.
2012-06-20 02:09:45 PM  
1 votes:
Not satisfied with the job a volunteer is doing?

fark you. You get what you pay for.
2012-06-20 01:06:11 PM  
1 votes:

Red Shirt Blues: [images.onset.freedom.com image 300x225]
She looks surprised.


joellelydon.com
2012-06-20 12:06:56 PM  
1 votes:
You're parents douchebags and you're unsatisfied with the job a teacher volunteer is doing, do you C) plant marijuana & painkillers in said volunteers unlocked car?

FTFS
 
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