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Oldest galaxy found off the belt of Onion, Arquette no longer giving Courteney Cox, and Greece surprisingly unable to bounce a Czech: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 6/10 - 6/16 
Posted by Unfreakable at 2012-06-20 9:48:26 AM, edited 2012-06-20 3:58:49 PM (18 comments) | Permalink

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3651 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Jun 2012 at 6:10 PM (3 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Nothing new this week; enjoy the headlines.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2012-06-10 to Sat 2012-06-16:

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Mother-of-two disfigured by seven tumors on her face says, "Tumor would benign"    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Little Darth Vader from the Volkswagen commercials to undergo open heart surgery, midichlorian insertion    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  What do you mean dead, dead how? How am I dead? RIP Henry Hill    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Exposure to Diesel causes lung cancer, crappy movies    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Homeless TX man allowed to keep $77,000 in cash and gold coins he found in a park after police inexplicably fail to figure out a way to claim it's drug money    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Good Samaritan who rescued man from sinking car on Wednesday rescues two from plane crash on Thursday; says he has no plans for Friday.. yet    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  China's first female astronaut prepares for historic space docking on flight with two men. Subby is fairly certain he's seen this video already    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Wine snobs are full of shiat: blind taste test shows the French likes of Clos des Mouches and Château Mouton Rothschild are barely better than a Lavallette orange from New Jersey with its subtle notes of dead mafiosi, corruption and sulfur  

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Niagara Falls, Wallenda doesn't    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  French Muslim Communist Holocaust denier dies. Personally, I think the claims that he died are exaggerated, if not completely made up    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Dozens of Lima beings flattened when car drives into Ohio crowd    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]


Sports:

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Timothy Bradley defeats Manny Pacquiao in split decision. Usually when you see someone get screwed on Pay Per View, it's actually porn (w/video)    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Czech Republic, facing elimination if they lose, hold on to defeat Greece in Euro Cup. This marks the first time in three years that the Greeks haven't bounced a Czech    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Warren Sapp says Cleveland Browns will be the next franchise to win its first Super Bowl, proving once and for all the horrible long-term effects of repeated concussions    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]


Geek:

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Retiree makes sweet chess sets out of discarded spark plugs. The knights are especially good if you need a jump    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  China finds 100 new terra cotta warriors buried in Xian. Officials now think the site wasn't an imperial tomb as previously thought, but the factory for Apple's wildly popular iCotta line of warrior products    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Astronomers discover oldest known galaxy just off the Belt of Onion    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]


Entertainment:

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Jewel gets her teeth fixed to play June Carter Cash, which is the first time anyone ever actually had to make their teeth look better to play a country musician    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  David Arquette will no longer be giving Courteney Cox    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Radiohead covers Sugarland in Toronto. Fans crushed    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]


Politics:

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Noted Socialist rag Forbes reports that Obama grew government spending far slower than any other recent President. Clinton came second, probably for the first time    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Elizabeth Warren links Scott Brown to the fall of JP Morgan, the weakened Wall Street reform act, the kidnapping of the Lindbergh baby, New Coke, and Justin Bieber    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Gretchen Carlson finally snaps, storms off the set of Fox and Friends after Kilmeade's sexist joke #273. The giant cloud of Axe body spray probably didn't help, either    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]


Business:

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Man United exploring US stock market IPO. Stock will frequently go down for no reason only to bounce back up several minutes later, and regulators will give extra time at the end of the market to recoup its losses if in the red    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  Nokia announces plans to cut 10,000 jobs and shutter two research facilities. In other news, Nokia apparently still had 10,000 employees and two research facilities    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]

[image from img.fark.net too old to be available]  New plans unveiled for the bridge linking Detroit to Canada. Due to popular demand, it will be one way only    [image from img.fark.net too old to be available]
· · ·
(view entire blog)


18 Comments   (+0 »)
   
 
2012-06-20 06:25:47 PM  
www.geekculture.com
www.galapagos.org
 
2012-06-20 06:26:38 PM  
Those are truly some most excellent headlines.

Kudos to subbies!
 
2012-06-20 06:27:46 PM  
"...tumor would benign" is an early nominee for HOTY.
 
2012-06-20 06:28:18 PM  
I grew up in the onion belt.
 
2012-06-20 06:33:05 PM  
I had to read the Radiohead headline twice, but omg that's good headline..

/evil smirk
 
2012-06-20 06:45:44 PM  
I still don't understand the onion belt one.
 
2012-06-20 06:54:40 PM  

summerjack: I still don't understand the onion belt one.


It is a Simpsons reference.

"We can't bust heads like we used to. But we have our ways. One trick is to tell stories that don't go anywhere. Like the time I caught the ferry to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for m'shoe. So I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on 'em. 'Gimme five bees for a quarter,' you'd say. Now where was I... oh yeah. The important thing was that I had an onion tied to my belt, which was the style at the time. You couldn't get white onions, because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones..."
-Abraham 'Grandpa' Simpson, The Simpsons, "Last Exit to Springfield"
 
2012-06-20 07:26:18 PM  

Balchinian: summerjack: I still don't understand the onion belt one.

It is a Simpsons reference.

"We can't bust heads like we used to. But we have our ways. One trick is to tell stories that don't go anywhere. Like the time I caught the ferry to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for m'shoe. So I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on 'em. 'Gimme five bees for a quarter,' you'd say. Now where was I... oh yeah. The important thing was that I had an onion tied to my belt, which was the style at the time. You couldn't get white onions, because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones..."
-Abraham 'Grandpa' Simpson, The Simpsons, "Last Exit to Springfield"


This is just a ploy to get me to read about Courtney Cox, isn't it?
 
2012-06-20 08:01:24 PM  
I think the onion belt is also a play on Orion's belt.
 
2012-06-20 08:20:46 PM  

libranoelrose: I think the onion belt is also a play on Orion's belt.


I also think this. A double reference in one sentence.
 
2012-06-20 08:45:41 PM  

libranoelrose: I think the onion belt is also a play on Orion's belt.


This guy's good. Almost TOO good.
 
2012-06-20 09:42:35 PM  

farkingismybusiness: libranoelrose: I think the onion belt is also a play on Orion's belt.

This guy's good. Almost TOO good.


Not really,

I mean he's good, but don't start ascribing star systems to him or anything, yet.

Simpsons reference goes cosmic?

;)
 
2012-06-20 10:00:16 PM  

Balchinian: summerjack: I still don't understand the onion belt one.

It is a Simpsons reference.

"We can't bust heads like we used to. But we have our ways. One trick is to tell stories that don't go anywhere. Like the time I caught the ferry to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for m'shoe. So I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on 'em. 'Gimme five bees for a quarter,' you'd say. Now where was I... oh yeah. The important thing was that I had an onion tied to my belt, which was the style at the time. You couldn't get white onions, because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones..."
-Abraham 'Grandpa' Simpson, The Simpsons, "Last Exit to Springfield"


Huh. Didn't know the onion on the belt originated with the Simpsons. I always assumed it was a much older saying than that.
 
2012-06-20 10:04:08 PM  

Verrai: Balchinian: summerjack: I still don't understand the onion belt one.

It is a Simpsons reference.

"We can't bust heads like we used to. But we have our ways. One trick is to tell stories that don't go anywhere. Like the time I caught the ferry to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for m'shoe. So I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on 'em. 'Gimme five bees for a quarter,' you'd say. Now where was I... oh yeah. The important thing was that I had an onion tied to my belt, which was the style at the time. You couldn't get white onions, because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones..."
-Abraham 'Grandpa' Simpson, The Simpsons, "Last Exit to Springfield"

Huh. Didn't know the onion on the belt originated with the Simpsons. I always assumed it was a much older saying than that.


*cue "The More You Know" rainbow*
 
2012-06-20 10:30:47 PM  

Indubitably: farkingismybusiness: libranoelrose: I think the onion belt is also a play on Orion's belt.

This guy's good. Almost TOO good.

Not really,

I mean he's good, but don't start ascribing star systems to him or anything, yet.

Simpsons reference goes cosmic?

;)


i.imgur.com
 
2012-06-20 10:32:30 PM  

libranoelrose: Indubitably: farkingismybusiness: libranoelrose: I think the onion belt is also a play on Orion's belt.

This guy's good. Almost TOO good.

Not really,

I mean he's good, but don't start ascribing star systems to him or anything, yet.

Simpsons reference goes cosmic?

;)

[i.imgur.com image 265x199]


"I remember when I was relevant...barely."

;)
 
2012-06-21 01:02:13 AM  

farkingismybusiness: libranoelrose: I think the onion belt is also a play on Orion's belt.

This guy's good. Almost TOO good.


Nothing gets by him
 
2012-06-21 01:18:04 AM  

HaywoodJablonski: farkingismybusiness: libranoelrose: I think the onion belt is also a play on Orion's belt.

This guy's good. Almost TOO good.

Nothing gets by him


Damn straight.
 
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