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Oldest galaxy found off the belt of Onion, Arquette no longer giving Courteney Cox, and Greece surprisingly unable to bounce a Czech: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 6/10 - 6/16
Posted by Unfreakable at 2012-06-20 9:48:26 AM, edited 2012-06-20 3:58:49 PM (18 comments) | Permalink
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3646 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Jun 2012 at 6:10 PM (2 years ago) | | share: more»
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Nothing new this week; enjoy the headlines.
Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2012-06-10 to Sat 2012-06-16:
Mother-of-two disfigured by seven tumors on her face says, "Tumor would benign"
Little Darth Vader from the Volkswagen commercials to undergo open heart surgery, midichlorian insertion
What do you mean dead, dead how? How am I dead? RIP Henry Hill
Exposure to Diesel causes lung cancer, crappy movies
Homeless TX man allowed to keep $77,000 in cash and gold coins he found in a park after police inexplicably fail to figure out a way to claim it's drug money
Good Samaritan who rescued man from sinking car on Wednesday rescues two from plane crash on Thursday; says he has no plans for Friday.. yet
China's first female astronaut prepares for historic space docking on flight with two men. Subby is fairly certain he's seen this video already
Wine snobs are full of shiat: blind taste test shows the French likes of Clos des Mouches and Château Mouton Rothschild are barely better than a Lavallette orange from New Jersey with its subtle notes of dead mafiosi, corruption and sulfur
Niagara Falls, Wallenda doesn't
French Muslim Communist Holocaust denier dies. Personally, I think the claims that he died are exaggerated, if not completely made up
Dozens of Lima beings flattened when car drives into Ohio crowd
Timothy Bradley defeats Manny Pacquiao in split decision. Usually when you see someone get screwed on Pay Per View, it's actually porn (w/video)
Czech Republic, facing elimination if they lose, hold on to defeat Greece in Euro Cup. This marks the first time in three years that the Greeks haven't bounced a Czech
Warren Sapp says Cleveland Browns will be the next franchise to win its first Super Bowl, proving once and for all the horrible long-term effects of repeated concussions
Retiree makes sweet chess sets out of discarded spark plugs. The knights are especially good if you need a jump
China finds 100 new terra cotta warriors buried in Xian. Officials now think the site wasn't an imperial tomb as previously thought, but the factory for Apple's wildly popular iCotta line of warrior products
Astronomers discover oldest known galaxy just off the Belt of Onion
Jewel gets her teeth fixed to play June Carter Cash, which is the first time anyone ever actually had to make their teeth look better to play a country musician
David Arquette will no longer be giving Courteney Cox
Radiohead covers Sugarland in Toronto. Fans crushed
Noted Socialist rag Forbes reports that Obama grew government spending far slower than any other recent President. Clinton came second, probably for the first time
Elizabeth Warren links Scott Brown to the fall of JP Morgan, the weakened Wall Street reform act, the kidnapping of the Lindbergh baby, New Coke, and Justin Bieber
Gretchen Carlson finally snaps, storms off the set of Fox and Friends after Kilmeade's sexist joke #273. The giant cloud of Axe body spray probably didn't help, either
Man United exploring US stock market IPO. Stock will frequently go down for no reason only to bounce back up several minutes later, and regulators will give extra time at the end of the market to recoup its losses if in the red
Nokia announces plans to cut 10,000 jobs and shutter two research facilities. In other news, Nokia apparently still had 10,000 employees and two research facilities
New plans unveiled for the bridge linking Detroit to Canada. Due to popular demand, it will be one way only
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