If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(truTV)   "If you wanted to see Jason Vorhees come anywhere close to the body count that Abe Lincoln ran up during his four years as President, you'd have to wait until the release of Friday The 13th: Part 24,000"   (blog.trutv.com) divider line 39
    More: Scary, slasher films, Pride and Prejudice, vampire slayer  
•       •       •

5730 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 19 Jun 2012 at 3:43 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Smartest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2012-06-19 12:52:19 PM
3 votes:

CavalierEternal: ArkAngel: TheBeastOfYuccaFlats: War of Northern Aggression, blah blah blah.

Either that or the War for Southern Independence. American Civil War is a complete misnomer

History is written by the victors. If the south wanted a fair shake in the naming of the conflict, they should have won.


The North did the South a favor in the end. The South was totally incapable of surviving on its own.
2012-06-19 06:15:50 PM
2 votes:
Looking at it, my assumption has been that it'll be bad, but in the same way that anything involving Bruce Campbell is bad, just so damn cheesy that it loops back around into its own breed of camp b-movie awesomeness. If anything, I'm kind of disappointed now I know it's based on a book, since it means they might actually try to be "faithful to the source material." Normally that would be a good thing, but with this kind of subject, screw that, go for shakycam and pressure-washer blood spray!
2012-06-19 05:31:13 PM
2 votes:

Apos: tudorgurl: I'm just wondering how many morons are going to watch this and think it's historic fact...

/yes, I've already encountered a few
//seriously.




No you haven't.
2012-06-19 04:04:48 PM
2 votes:

ArkAngel: TheBeastOfYuccaFlats: War of Northern Aggression, blah blah blah.

Either that or the War for Southern Independence. American Civil War is a complete misnomer


Up here we call it "The War to Preserve the Union from Treasonous Rednecks."

/ TWTPTUFTR
2012-06-20 05:57:34 PM
1 votes:

Mugato: Okay but isn't there a difference between a movie that pretends to be somewhat historically accurate but distorts things to the detriment of anyone who might take it seriously and a movie that has vampires fighting Abe Lincoln?


This, but there's also something to be said for just being lazy. I'm NOT going to expect perfect accuracy from a movie that has MOTHER EFFIN VAMPIRES in it.

On the other, there's something to be said for dismissing detail for no good reason, ESPECIALLY when it's food for some real entertainment. For example, I recently saw the preview and it mixed a montage of action scenes with Lincoln standing tall and proud while reciting the Gettysburg Address with a strong voice. Actually, we know the speech was short and sweet because Lincoln was violently ill and had to make his words count -- he literally had no stamina to stand at a podium for more than a few minutes.

This is the perfect opportunity to mix fantasy with history. Wouldn't it make more sense if, say, Lincoln was exhausted and wounded from a long night of fighting vampires and pretended to be sick to cover it up? Now, he'd still try to be composed, but you can film him sweating profusely, voice cracking, like he's about to puke. But pop culture envisions him reciting the Gettysburg Address loud & proud, so a derptarded movie is gonna say "fark history" and run with that, which is even less believable if a middle-aged man is pulling all-nighters chopping up undead monsters with an axe before meth was invented.

THAT'S what's stupid -- pissing away what history gives you and replacing it with lazy shlock.
2012-06-20 11:41:32 AM
1 votes:

Mugato: scottydoesntknow: Hahaha that's hilarious. I saw that on piratebay last night and thought "how many people are going to download this and think it's the same movie?" I must admit they're pretty damn quick with churning them out

I see those on Redbox. There's also an A L I E N: Origins movie that looks a lot like Prometheus. It shouldn't be too hard to get a gig with the companies that do those sorts of movies. Maybe that's where I should start.


they are shot like porn, with no budget and crap acting. you probably could get in on it easily.
2012-06-20 11:38:20 AM
1 votes:

scottydoesntknow: Hahaha that's hilarious. I saw that on piratebay last night and thought "how many people are going to download this and think it's the same movie?" I must admit they're pretty damn quick with churning them out


I see those on Redbox. There's also an A L I E N: Origins movie that looks a lot like Prometheus. It shouldn't be too hard to get a gig with the companies that do those sorts of movies. Maybe that's where I should start.
2012-06-20 11:20:51 AM
1 votes:

phalamir: The other thing is that historians spend their careers trying to separate history's actual events from the blatant lying of historical sources; dropping them in a movie theater and expecting them not to do what they trained to do is like expecting fish not to breathe underwater.


Okay but isn't there a difference between a movie that pretends to be somewhat historically accurate but distorts things to the detriment of anyone who might take it seriously and a movie that has vampires fighting Abe Lincoln?
2012-06-20 09:26:12 AM
1 votes:

perigee: ADDENDUM: Whaddya know about that? What I saw was NOT this film. It was "Abraham Lincoln VS Zombies."

There are two of these out there. So I get to see some other Abe battling some other zombies. That's exciting. On the bright side, I guess I can strongly state it Was a sticker on that guys hat...


that is an Asylum "mockbuster". Please don't watch it. Asylum movies are so bad, they are hard to describe. I mean... MST2k had movies on the show that were masterpieces compared to the average Asylum flick. Good lord, current porn parodies are better movies. Just farking horrible.
2012-06-20 01:35:45 AM
1 votes:

mitchcumstein1: Don't ever see a movie with any sort of historical references with a historian, they will ruin it because they will inevitably biatch about how it's inaccurate.

I say this as a person who has a BA in History. I stopped going to movies with classmates, or even having discussions about them because they ruined them. History people are weird.



This is because many historical movies could be made using demonstrably historically accurate events and still be entertaining. Instead, they either grossly distort events or simply make shiat up to make the movie scenes play out exactly the same as every other historical movie (at this point, I think I could give a word-for-word recitation of every Stirring Pre-Battle Speach [tm] for every war movie that will ever be made). Going to see a historical movie is akin to being invited over to see some guy's vintage Aston Martin, and showing up to find he's jacked it up like a monster truck and using it to drag a plow in a field. Oh, and the director, stars, producers, etc. always claim they are being 100% historically accurate - while merrily raping history like a Japanese soldier in Nanjing.

The other thing is that historians spend their careers trying to separate history's actual events from the blatant lying of historical sources; dropping them in a movie theater and expecting them not to do what they trained to do is like expecting fish not to breathe underwater.
2012-06-19 09:48:08 PM
1 votes:

CavalierEternal: ArkAngel: TheBeastOfYuccaFlats: War of Northern Aggression, blah blah blah.

Either that or the War for Southern Independence. American Civil War is a complete misnomer

History is written by the victors. If the south wanted a fair shake in the naming of the conflict, they should have won.


Actually, a ton of Civil War history has been written by Southerners. Its how Grant and Sherman went from National Heroes to a drunk and a madman while Robert E. Lee is considered a kindly gentleman.
2012-06-19 08:41:07 PM
1 votes:
ADDENDUM: Whaddya know about that? What I saw was NOT this film. It was "Abraham Lincoln VS Zombies."

There are two of these out there. So I get to see some other Abe battling some other zombies. That's exciting. On the bright side, I guess I can strongly state it Was a sticker on that guys hat...
2012-06-19 07:48:11 PM
1 votes:

Keigh:

well that's just, like, your opinions, Man.

/Bruce Campbell should be in this. Is he in this?


Sadly, no - they take things deadpan seriously in this, which makes it a very special kind of weird. The Lincoln actor is a good Lincoln, except they cut all his clothes high to make him look lanky. He looks a little like Lincoln as Herman Munster. And, unlike the commercials, he never uses an axe - he has a short-handled switchblade scythe.

They cheat the zombie concept - they just stand there until they hear a loud noise, so there's a lot of walking quietly through masses of zombies until the script calls for a set-piece. All the blood is Corman Crockogator CGI, which just drops the thing to a new low. And, as I said earlier, Stonewall Jackson is just some guy that they pulled off the street and put a BAD fake beard on. I'm not entirely sure, but the confederate flag on his hat may have been a sticker - it seemed to be peeling.

I was impressed by the fact that they apparently got permission to film in a real fort somewhere, but the fact that they just kind of snuck in and out all the time through about 20 or so 'sleeping' zombies made the fort as useful in the story as a semi-secure toolshed. Oh - and the explosion at the end was beyond pathetic.

The high point - or low - was the standard "smoke billows - figures emerge in slow motion" shot... featuring slo-mo Abe. That was a keeper, right there.
2012-06-19 07:43:36 PM
1 votes:

Digitalstrange: fusillade762: tudorgurl: I'm just wondering how many morons are going to watch this and think it's historic fact...

The same people that thought Titanic was a true story.

Take out Jack, Rose, her mom, Cal and his butler and it was.


www.terrariaonline.com
2012-06-19 07:38:58 PM
1 votes:

Digitalstrange: fusillade762: tudorgurl: I'm just wondering how many morons are going to watch this and think it's historic fact...

The same people that thought Titanic was a true story.

Take out Jack, Rose, her mom, Cal and his butler and it was.


Back in 1997 or whenever my mom volunteered at the local museum because she liked Ancient Egypt stuff and they roped her into doing it for the Titanic thing. People kept asking her where Jack and Rose were on the registry. I think she may have taken a gun to the place. So some people think there was no Titanic and some think it was a shot by shot documentary.
2012-06-19 06:26:57 PM
1 votes:

Keigh: If it bombs, we'll just be telling Hollywood that it's ok to make recycled shiat, and not ok to make something original and new. And that's sad.


lets see here...

bad trailer? check.
from the director who brought you that one dumb action thriller? check
CGI that looks like a sci movie of the week? check
stupid sounding concept? check
based on a book by the guy who's entire career seems to be taking history and slapping some sort of monster movie characters into it? check

that's the real problem. it looks stupid, and it looks like the quality is going to be crap.
2012-06-19 06:20:13 PM
1 votes:
You shouldn't rag on a movie just because of its premise. Almost every single major successful science fiction/fantasy/horror film is based on a premise that sounds utterly ridiculous when you first hear of it.

Quick, what billion dollar money-earner out at theaters right now features norse gods, space aliens, secret agents, monsters, WWII soldiers, a flying aircraft carrier, and a guy who with a bow and arrow?
2012-06-19 06:06:01 PM
1 votes:
I saw Rock of Ages this weekend. I can't decide if it's the worst decent movie or the best horrible movie I've ever seen. From moment one when she starts singing on the bus til the credits I was laughing and I don't think that was their intent. Perhaps AL:VH will be the same? Then it'll be $10 well spent.
2012-06-19 06:01:38 PM
1 votes:

tudorgurl: I'm just wondering how many morons are going to watch this and think it's historic fact...


The same people that thought Titanic was a true story.
2012-06-19 05:57:43 PM
1 votes:
I really want to see this movie. Here's the thing... Everybody in the world is SO SICK of remakes, reboots, redos, Rethinks, prequels, sequels.... And here someone has made a movie of a ::gasp:: ORIGINAL IDEA!! and yet, so many people are going, ew, that looks stupid... Ok. maybe it's ridiculous, over the top, unrealisitic, whatever. But you know what? If it bombs, we'll just be telling Hollywood that it's ok to make recycled shiat, and not ok to make something original and new. And that's sad.


Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter. See it to save movie-kind.
2012-06-19 05:48:22 PM
1 votes:

ColSanders: Contrabulous Flabtraption: I will never see this movie. I can't imagine something that interests me less.

This. It looks like a 90-minute internet meme. What's next? Bacon: The Movie?


I'd much rather see The Passion of Raptor Jesus.
2012-06-19 05:28:43 PM
1 votes:

Mugato: The trailer was too dark. I do't mean the subject matter, it was dark, I couldn't see shiat. I didn't read the book but I like the premise. I like even more than my historian friend is all pissed off about it. But there's no historical account that Abe didn't hunt vampires. It is important though that they get the non-vampire historical stuff right. That's the only way to sell it.


Don't ever see a movie with any sort of historical references with a historian, they will ruin it because they will inevitably biatch about how it's inaccurate.

I say this as a person who has a BA in History. I stopped going to movies with classmates, or even having discussions about them because they ruined them. History people are weird.
2012-06-19 05:22:50 PM
1 votes:

scottydoesntknow: Why is your historian friend pissed off?


Eh, he's an asshole. Yeah, it does look cool. A nice break from comic book movies and sequels.
2012-06-19 05:22:07 PM
1 votes:

tudorgurl: I'm just wondering how many morons are going to watch this and think it's historic fact...

/yes, I've already encountered a few
//seriously.



That's a good one. No one,not even Paris Hilton,is that idiotic.
2012-06-19 05:17:20 PM
1 votes:
I'm just wondering how many morons are going to watch this and think it's historic fact...

/yes, I've already encountered a few
//seriously.
2012-06-19 04:49:53 PM
1 votes:
The trailer was too dark. I do't mean the subject matter, it was dark, I couldn't see shiat. I didn't read the book but I like the premise. I like even more than my historian friend is all pissed off about it. But there's no historical account that Abe didn't hunt vampires. It is important though that they get the non-vampire historical stuff right. That's the only way to sell it.
2012-06-19 04:39:00 PM
1 votes:
Saw it last night - funny as hell, perhaps unintentionally. The bloodshed was all Super-Cheap CGI, and the guy who played Stonewall Jackson couldn't have gotten a part as an extra in community theater. Lincoln giving little kid Teddy Roosevelt a big stick was pretty idiotic/great.

Well worth seeing, if you enjoy bad cult films.
2012-06-19 04:38:00 PM
1 votes:
This is almost an original idea, so don't shiat on it too badly.

I sorta want to see The Adventures of Huck Finn and Robot Jim.

There are only so many plots you can bring to the masses before you get labeled "Art House" and relegated to a single showing at Sundance if you're lucky.
2012-06-19 04:28:19 PM
1 votes:
STILL gonna see it.

it looks ridiculously over the top, and that's awesome.
2012-06-19 04:19:12 PM
1 votes:

TheBeastOfYuccaFlats: War of Northern Aggression, blah blah blah.


The guy added in an additional zero, but I don't see anything particularly pro-Confederate in TFA. It is common practice nowadays to lay the blame for all deaths related to any given war on the head of the victor's government at the time the war began. It is unlikely that people of Lincoln time -North or South- would have seen things in quite the same way, but TFA's author is not from that time.
2012-06-19 04:04:11 PM
1 votes:

kid_icarus: I still think Voorhies wins since he hand-slaughtered all 300 of his victims.


Hopefully, you deducted parts 1 and 5 from the body count.
2012-06-19 02:17:01 PM
1 votes:
The book was a lot of fun. I am not hopeful that it will do it justice, but then again, if you expect nothing you can't be disappointed.
2012-06-19 01:26:58 PM
1 votes:

ArkAngel: TheBeastOfYuccaFlats: War of Northern Aggression, blah blah blah.

Either that or the War for Southern Independence. American Civil War is a complete misnomer


When you get right down to it, there was very little civility involved.
2012-06-19 12:56:12 PM
1 votes:

kingoomieiii: TheBeastOfYuccaFlats: The North did the South a favor in the end. The South was totally incapable of surviving on its own.

Think about it. Confederate President Rick Scott.


North - rich socialist state with standard of living comparable to Europe.

South - poor ass backwards fascist state with standard of living comparable to Mexico.

I'm (still) OK with this.
2012-06-19 12:53:32 PM
1 votes:

TheBeastOfYuccaFlats: The North did the South a favor in the end. The South was totally incapable of surviving on its own.


Think about it. Confederate President Rick Scott.
2012-06-19 12:48:19 PM
1 votes:
I still think Voorhies wins since he hand-slaughtered all 300 of his victims.
2012-06-19 12:45:04 PM
1 votes:

ArkAngel: TheBeastOfYuccaFlats: War of Northern Aggression, blah blah blah.

Either that or the War for Southern Independence. American Civil War is a complete misnomer


History is written by the victors. If the south wanted a fair shake in the naming of the conflict, they should have won.
2012-06-19 12:24:45 PM
1 votes:
I'm really torn about the Abe Lincoln: Vampire Hunter movie. On the one hand, it's rated R, which it should be as the book was extremely gory. On the other hand, the trailers/previews make it looke like typical action crap with BAYSPLOSIONS!

On the third hand, I really loved the book. One of the best books to blend historical fact with fantasy. I finally got my girlfriend to start reading it (she thought it would suck) and she hasn't put it down since.

I will probably see it just to see what parts they inevitably screw up.
2012-06-19 12:14:29 PM
1 votes:
War of Northern Aggression, blah blah blah.
 
Displayed 39 of 39 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report