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(Kotaku)   Chinese news team investigates mysterious "mushroom" discovered by rural villagers. *facepalm* That's no shroom (possibly Not safe for work)   (kotaku.com) divider line 98
    More: Amusing, Chinese, Shaanxi Province  
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35117 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Jun 2012 at 7:51 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-06-19 05:35:00 AM
MY MOM SAID IT WAS A 'NECK MASSAGER!'
 
2012-06-19 05:50:48 AM
You just can't make that stuff up.
 
2012-06-19 05:55:51 AM
www.10klakes.com

"That's no mushroom. It's a masturbation station."
 
2012-06-19 06:33:47 AM
That must be one of the top 5 worst things to unwittingly pick up. Definitely #1 if it's oozing white goo.
 
2012-06-19 06:53:59 AM
At least they washed it.
 
2012-06-19 07:13:15 AM
Still, the villagers had their own theories, thinking that they'd found a type of lingzhi mushroom; the reporter seemed to agree, adding that the lingzhi mushroom can be found in the region and even was a secret to longevity.

I'd have loved to see them try to cook it up and eat it.

SUPPLIES!
 
2012-06-19 07:48:40 AM
Well it does nestle in dark wet places...
 
2012-06-19 07:51:50 AM
We should be worried that Chinese journalism is finally catching up to our American standards.
 
2012-06-19 07:55:31 AM
fishtonian.com
 
2012-06-19 07:57:02 AM
Do you think the entire country being kept in the dark about the outside world has anything to do with their ignorance?
 
2012-06-19 07:57:40 AM
img406.imageshack.us

Doesn't look like a Chinaman to me.
 
2012-06-19 07:58:01 AM
Oh, man, I wondered where I left that thing! I mean, my friend was wondering. Thanks for finding it, can you send it back to me? So I can give it back to my friend? Thanks.
 
2012-06-19 07:59:09 AM

Grables'Daughter: [www.10klakes.com image 468x315]

"That's no mushroom. It's a masturbation station."


2.bp.blogspot.com

It Belongs in a masterbatorium!
 
2012-06-19 08:00:12 AM

Nick Nostril: [img406.imageshack.us image 500x269]

Doesn't look like a Chinaman to me.


Well, it does look like a mushroom if you really squint
 
2012-06-19 08:00:15 AM
i174.photobucket.com
 
2012-06-19 08:02:38 AM

Mr. Coffee Nerves: MY MOM SAID IT WAS A 'NECK MASSAGER!'

Unknown to the villagers, what they had actually discovered was a male masturbation aid.


I think you may want to have a talk with your mom.
 
2012-06-19 08:04:56 AM

BurnShrike: Still, the villagers had their own theories, thinking that they'd found a type of lingzhi mushroom; the reporter seemed to agree, adding that the lingzhi mushroom can be found in the region and even was a secret to longevity.

I'd have loved to see them try to cook it up and eat it.

SUPPLIES!


"Hey, it has a rich cream filling!"
 
2012-06-19 08:06:20 AM

durbnpoisn: Do you think the entire country being kept in the dark about the outside world has anything to do with their ignorance?


China's population is 1.3 billion. I'm pretty sure they have a passing familiarity with the vagina.
 
2012-06-19 08:08:28 AM
So one of the villagers upgraded his favorite toy and had to dispose of the old one. Thinks (in Chinese), "Hey! An 80m [sic] deep hole! Zoink".

Now who do you think led the theory that it was a mushroom? And the villagers turn to each other, wondering who it was... or if their's will be found next.
 
2012-06-19 08:08:53 AM
"When we dug down to about 80m deep, we fished out this long, fleshy object," one villager told reporter Ye Yunfeng (via Shingaiist) It's got a nose and an eye, but we have no idea what it is!"

WTF was it doing 80M underground?
 
2012-06-19 08:10:09 AM
That story really blows.
 
2012-06-19 08:11:42 AM
Hmm... how did it 80m down?

China had these millions of years ago?
 
2012-06-19 08:12:18 AM

durbnpoisn: Do you think the entire country being kept in the dark about the outside world has anything to do with their ignorance?


Do you think confusing China with North Korea has anything to do with your ignorance?
 
2012-06-19 08:13:41 AM
No 'shroom. Boom Boom?
 
2012-06-19 08:15:37 AM

InternetSecurityGuard: Hmm... how did it 80m down?

China had these millions of years ago?


Well, many of the great "inventions" in the Western world had actually been discovered by the Chinese centuries earlier, so....

Clever people, those Chinese
 
2012-06-19 08:15:46 AM

0Icky0: durbnpoisn: Do you think the entire country being kept in the dark about the outside world has anything to do with their ignorance?

Do you think confusing China with North Korea has anything to do with your ignorance?


I believe they were refering to "the great firewall of china".
/seems they hit a nerve, care to share?
 
2012-06-19 08:17:03 AM

mytdawg: [i174.photobucket.com image 500x504]


www.shadowlocked.com
 
2012-06-19 08:19:28 AM
I like the reporterette. She's sooo cute.
 
2012-06-19 08:19:51 AM

InternetSecurityGuard: Hmm... how did it 80m down?

China had these millions of years ago?


terracotta spank bank
 
2012-06-19 08:20:17 AM
 
2012-06-19 08:21:22 AM
The Chinese discovered a fungi to be with?
 
2012-06-19 08:24:49 AM
image.hdvnbits.org
"That's not a mushroom, Travis. Portabella or otherwise."

/you can, however, put your mushroom tip in it.
 
2012-06-19 08:26:44 AM
Those responsible have been sacked shot.
 
2012-06-19 08:27:07 AM
I hereby dub the hapless reporter "Dildo Baggins".
 
2012-06-19 08:28:22 AM
The news report never mentions what retail stores might carry something like this.

\I'm just asking for a friend.
 
Skr
2012-06-19 08:29:24 AM
I'm just kinda curious if the intended use is solo play or two dudes going in it at once from both sides. Penis jousting like that could be painful if done wrong.


Originally it looked roughly like a dog toy so I thought perhaps a confused dog had buried his master's apparatus, though that wouldn't be anything like 80m deep.


On further inspection, it kinda looks like one of the inserts usually found in the cheaper end range of companion dolls.
 
2012-06-19 08:30:45 AM
Follow up story about the next town over that found an odd, flashlight with no bulb, and that won't shine.
 
2012-06-19 08:31:09 AM

johnson442: Well, many of the great "inventions" in the Western world had actually been discovered by the Chinese centuries earlier, so....


It's amazing how many inventions the Chinese made, then subsequently did shiat-all with.
 
2012-06-19 08:33:10 AM

Skr: I'm just kinda curious if the intended use is solo play or two dudes going in it at once from both sides.


You mean like... Chinese finger cuffs?
 
2012-06-19 08:37:16 AM
the fungi of Yugoth it is not
 
2012-06-19 08:37:46 AM
they all thought was WAY too long to be a masturbation toy.
 
2012-06-19 08:42:37 AM
Chinese Penis Cuff
 
2012-06-19 08:46:18 AM
s3.jspenguin.org
It's company policy never to imply ownership in the event of a mushroom... always use the indefinite article a mushroom, never your mushroom.
 
2012-06-19 08:46:57 AM
just when i needed cheering up, along comes the absurd. :) but the question that remains is, who buried that bone?
 
Skr
2012-06-19 08:47:26 AM

moike: Skr: I'm just kinda curious if the intended use is solo play or two dudes going in it at once from both sides.

You mean like... Chinese finger cuffs?


Exactly. Though the condition to get it off would be a race to the finish I suppose.
 
2012-06-19 08:52:01 AM

moike: Skr: I'm just kinda curious if the intended use is solo play or two dudes going in it at once from both sides.

You mean like... Chinese finger cuffs?


i25.photobucket.com
Wut?
 
2012-06-19 08:53:28 AM

Skr: moike: Skr: I'm just kinda curious if the intended use is solo play or two dudes going in it at once from both sides.

You mean like... Chinese finger cuffs?

Exactly. Though the condition to get it off would be a race to the finish I suppose.


Well any way you look at it, one guy will end up providing the lube to get the other guy free.
/ewww
 
2012-06-19 08:53:34 AM
It luv you long time
 
2012-06-19 08:54:52 AM
I heard it was found by Sum Ting Wong
 
2012-06-19 08:56:27 AM
The really bad part is that before they knew what it was, you know somebody licked it to see what it tasted like.
 
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