this is not sad

BarkingUnicorn: KaiserRoll: Having one parent stay at home is good for the economy wages. It doesn't really matter which.

Yea, That makes more sense than what I said.

debug: WhippingBoy: I'm a work at home, part stay at home dad. My wife handles the morning routine and taking the kids to school. I handle everything else:
- working 8-10 hours a day at my day job
- picking the kids up from school
- meal planning
- grocery shopping
- cooking dinner (wife usually handles breakfast and lunch)
- cleaning the house
- doing my own laundry (wife does her own and the kids)
- mowing the lawn
- collecting and taking out the garbage and recycling
- household repairs
- taking the car in for service
- paying the bills & keeping track of finances
- miscellaneous chores
- taking the kids to dance lessons and soccer (wife handles to doctor and dentist)

It's not that bad, although some days are easier than others. If I didn't have the day job on top of all this, it would be almost trivial; anyone who complains that being a stay at home mom (or dad) is "hard" is just a whining slacker.

/ take it from me

So what the hell does your wife do?

- gets the kids ready for school in the morning
- makes lunches
- takes kids to school
- takes kids to doctor/dentist
- manages homework
- does kids and her own laundry
- parent teacher meetings
- some cleaning
- looks after pets

It's not actually as one-sided as it seems. I have the luxury of working from home, so taking a 10 minute break to throw a load of laundry in is no big deal. I'm also supremely organized when it comes to the household stuff (I'd be dead in the water if this wasn't the case). There's also a grocery store near the school, so I just leave an extra 15 minutes early and do the shopping on a day to day basis. I still have time to work out/play video games 45 minutes a day (recumbent bike in front of Xbox), make a batch of beer once a week, and spend an hour or two a day on person projects (software and/or hardware development). I do get up at 5am most days, and TV and Facebook hold little interest for me (I watch maybe 2 hours a week)

Tyranicle: Harsh reallity...despite how much the working women reinforces the dad with how proud she is having dad raise their child, in the womans head she actually sees the dad as a weak pile of shiat, conjuring up when and how to get rid of the pussy even while busy sucking the boss' dick.

If you're an unemployed dad raising a child without any job prospects while mommy is working, bite the bullet, leave everything and file for child support. Why? Because she'll drop you like a hat the second she crosses paths with an employed man who shows even the slightest hint of intrest in her. Filing for child support before she does makes you look better.

Dude.......... you bitter.

Tyranicle: Harsh reallity...despite how much the working women reinforces the dad with how proud she is having dad raise their child, in the womans head she actually sees the dad as a weak pile of shiat, conjuring up when and how to get rid of the pussy even while busy sucking the boss' dick.

If you're an unemployed dad raising a child without any job prospects while mommy is working, bite the bullet, leave everything and file for child support. Why? Because she'll drop you like a hat the second she crosses paths with an employed man who shows even the slightest hint of intrest in her. Filing for child support before she does makes you look better.

This is nonsense. If you're a good man, your wife won't leave you no matter what; she certainly won't look down on you for raising a child. If you suck as a man, your wife might not leave you if you have a job and she has none (because she's kind of trapped without any income of her own), and then, when the tables are turned, she might leave (because she finally feels that she can). But it's not because you're taking care of your children; it's because she looks down on you for sucking at being a man.

Tyranicle: Harsh reallity...despite how much the working women reinforces the dad with how proud she is having dad raise their child, in the womans head she actually sees the dad as a weak pile of shiat, conjuring up when and how to get rid of the pussy even while busy sucking the boss' dick.

If you're an unemployed dad raising a child without any job prospects while mommy is working, bite the bullet, leave everything and file for child support. Why? Because she'll drop you like a hat the second she crosses paths with an employed man who shows even the slightest hint of intrest in her. Filing for child support before she does makes you look better.

Bitter, party of one, your table is ready.

Gyrfalcon: Tell Mrs.Bunny good job, btw.

I do.

Howlin Mad Murphy: And all the other variations of the over-hyped nonsense they claim is so tough about staying at home.

I decided to prove my ignorance when my daughter was 2 and my son was 4. My daughter was teething and my son had a stomach flu. Understand that as my daughter was teething, in misery, and crying. Nonstop crying. All the time. Crying. My God, how do I comfort her because I want to pull my hair out crying. My son puked. A lot. All the time. As in, "How can he keep puking when I'm certain there's nothing left in his stomach?"-level puking. As in, "Hello? Advice nurse? I've run out of towels and am now using blankets and sheets to sop up the puke."-level puking. The stomach-churning realization that you're not up to the task, that you lack the tools to do this right, that you're kids know full well that you are an omnipowerful, omniscient god who can do no wrong, and that you have to, must, without fail, succeed in comforting them and making everything alright, is a brick to the face of your ego. It's then that your kids teach you what you are. Or aren't. And that's the reality of you. You either get it right, or you don't. And that's just the way it is with kids. They're like that. All the time. And you love them all the more for it.

Howlin Mad Murphy: HAHAHA. The whipped-as-hell stay at home dads claim that the only reason a woman would leave you is if you did something wrong. AHAHAHAHAHA, that's rich. Your women completely wear the pants, huh?

Please don't mock us, mighty internet tough guy! You're harsh words are making my tiny penis shrivel even more. My wife is going to be so mad at me... whatever will I do???

Notabunny: Gyrfalcon: Tell Mrs.Bunny good job, btw.

I do.

Howlin Mad Murphy: And all the other variations of the over-hyped nonsense they claim is so tough about staying at home.

I decided to prove my ignorance when my daughter was 2 and my son was 4. My daughter was teething and my son had a stomach flu. Understand that as my daughter was teething, in misery, and crying. Nonstop crying. All the time. Crying. My God, how do I comfort her because I want to pull my hair out crying. My son puked. A lot. All the time. As in, "How can he keep puking when I'm certain there's nothing left in his stomach?"-level puking. As in, "Hello? Advice nurse? I've run out of towels and am now using blankets and sheets to sop up the puke."-level puking. The stomach-churning realization that you're not up to the task, that you lack the tools to do this right, that you're kids know full well that you are an omnipowerful, omniscient god who can do no wrong, and that you have to, must, without fail, succeed in comforting them and making everything alright, is a brick to the face of your ego. It's then that your kids teach you what you are. Or aren't. And that's the reality of you. You either get it right, or you don't. And that's just the way it is with kids. They're like that. All the time. And you love them all the more for it.

Yeah. This is an excellent point. Nothing makes you feel quite like an utter and complete failure as when your kids are in misery and nothing you do to comfort them has any effect.

I_Am_Weasel: [www.theaterofthecommonman.com image 300x400]

Was gonna say. Is this a repeat from 1983?

morgantx: But if he just decides one day that he wants to be the SAHD and is going to make me be the breadwinner, I'd be ticked. That's not what we agreed upon when we married.

I hope you haven't gained any weight since you got married. Because that wasn't part of the deal when you got married. I think you need to grow up. People and priorities change as they mature. If your husband decides one day he wants to be a SAHD, I think it's immensely selfish of you not to consider his desires or feelings.

(Oh wait, I forgot; it's all about you)

WhippingBoy: Notabunny: Gyrfalcon: Tell Mrs.Bunny good job, btw.

I do.

Howlin Mad Murphy: And all the other variations of the over-hyped nonsense they claim is so tough about staying at home.

I decided to prove my ignorance when my daughter was 2 and my son was 4. My daughter was teething and my son had a stomach flu. Understand that as my daughter was teething, in misery, and crying. Nonstop crying. All the time. Crying. My God, how do I comfort her because I want to pull my hair out crying. My son puked. A lot. All the time. As in, "How can he keep puking when I'm certain there's nothing left in his stomach?"-level puking. As in, "Hello? Advice nurse? I've run out of towels and am now using blankets and sheets to sop up the puke."-level puking. The stomach-churning realization that you're not up to the task, that you lack the tools to do this right, that you're kids know full well that you are an omnipowerful, omniscient god who can do no wrong, and that you have to, must, without fail, succeed in comforting them and making everything alright, is a brick to the face of your ego. It's then that your kids teach you what you are. Or aren't. And that's the reality of you. You either get it right, or you don't. And that's just the way it is with kids. They're like that. All the time. And you love them all the more for it.

Yeah. This is an excellent point. Nothing makes you feel quite like an utter and complete failure as when your kids are in misery and nothing you do to comfort them has any effect.

The only thing worse is when daddy is there (or auntie) and the only thing miserable kid is saying is "I want my mommy!" And it's not the boobies, cuz I've got two of them. It's the mommy thing, and there is no substitute.

Which only makes me applaud stay-home dads even more.

220, 221. Whatever it takes.

WhippingBoy: Notabunny: Gyrfalcon: Tell Mrs.Bunny good job, btw.

I do.

Howlin Mad Murphy: And all the other variations of the over-hyped nonsense they claim is so tough about staying at home.

I decided to prove my ignorance when my daughter was 2 and my son was 4. My daughter was teething and my son had a stomach flu. Understand that as my daughter was teething, in misery, and crying. Nonstop crying. All the time. Crying. My God, how do I comfort her because I want to pull my hair out crying. My son puked. A lot. All the time. As in, "How can he keep puking when I'm certain there's nothing left in his stomach?"-level puking. As in, "Hello? Advice nurse? I've run out of towels and am now using blankets and sheets to sop up the puke."-level puking. The stomach-churning realization that you're not up to the task, that you lack the tools to do this right, that you're kids know full well that you are an omnipowerful, omniscient god who can do no wrong, and that you have to, must, without fail, succeed in comforting them and making everything alright, is a brick to the face of your ego. It's then that your kids teach you what you are. Or aren't. And that's the reality of you. You either get it right, or you don't. And that's just the way it is with kids. They're like that. All the time. And you love them all the more for it.

Yeah. This is an excellent point. Nothing makes you feel quite like an utter and complete failure as when your kids are in misery and nothing you do to comfort them has any effect.

You're right. And the payoff takes years. But it's totally worth it.

TL;DR version: you're all jerks and I write long, boring, self-indulging crap

TL;you'll read it anyway despite the warning:
I have 2 kids. I love them and would kill any of you if I had to in order to prove it. Bare handed in Texas and everything. I have a history of having the label city and state champion in sports, music, and academics (and All NCAA in athletics). I've had a lot of hobbies and bad habits, and I'm telling you right now, I'd accomplished exactly nothing in my life when comparing what I've done in my past versus what I am doing right now. I sometimes ask what the fark I had been doing wasting so much of my lifetime when I could have been making and raising my kids sooner (I waited until my mid-thirties)

Most of you nonparents hate kids, that's fine. There are some little f*cking jerks running around making too much noise or bumping into you and you don't like it. I get that. I hate it, too. That doesn't mean shiat and not everyone raises their kids that way. I see kids having near death experiences while their parents are far too busy on their iPhones going on Facebook to tell everyone what a great parent they are because they take their kids to the park. I've saved two or three of those kids from big falls.

No problems here doing most of the cooking, cleaning, laundry, vacuuming, changing diapers, getting them dressed, brushing their teeth, teaching them all of these things and maintaining all the traditional dad duties of building, fixing, painting, yard work, keeping up with the pool, etc and maintain a fulltime job. It's very hard to do while making sure I spend time with my family. Living close to work and taking advantage of lunch breaks to shop and fix really helps.

Now here's the thing: I found a great daycare. Professionals, trustworthy, personable, loving, helpful. My 22-month old knows basic colors, letters, numbers, all of the important songs and nursery rhymes and can sing along with me to the extent of his abilities. Climbs ladders, jumps off platforms, turns pages in his books, etc... He throws his trash in the garbage can. He puts dirty dishes in the sink. He washes his hands and tells me when he has to go to the bathroom. He shares toys with his friends and his little brother. He comforts them when they cry. He says please and thank you.

His litte brother rolls over and is learning to crawl at 4 months and can hold himself up in a standing position. He can reach and grab and hold his own bottle and toys. I could go on all day, but you don't care and probably won't listen because every child in the world is rotten crotchfruit. But they've both learned a great deal of this at daycare and I reinforce it at home and vice versa. No, they don't have to be to the gym in 26 minutes, they're sleeping. I put them to bed after playing Mr. Potatohead and then reading to them while listening to soft music in the background.

Point, finally: Even if I were the richest man on the planet and didn't have to work, I would still send my kids to daycare starting around 12-16 weeks. There are people who can raise my children better than I can by teaching everything I mentioned above and they feel like family members. This is what everyone's daycare should do. Otherwise it's just very goddamned expensive babysitting.

Since we've gotten this far, one other thing to note: I gained about 15 pounds while my wife was pregnant with my first son. I've lost 30 since he was born and am entering the "maybe getting a little too thin for my liking " territory. Having a 30 pound and a 15 pound child to chase around and pick up is very good exercise and also more rewarding than picking up metal bars and weights. And they're only going to get bigger and faster.

Gyrfalcon: The only thing worse is when daddy is there (or auntie) and the only thing miserable kid is saying is "I want my mommy!" And it's not the boobies, cuz I've got two of them. It's the mommy thing, and there is no substitute.

That crushed me. Really, I cried. I felt so insignificant. I'd given my all. It took me a while to get over my ego and realize that the simple truth of the matter was that no matter what, I will never be Mommy. I get that now, and it's cool, but man that was a hurtful lesson.

Howlin Mad Murphy: And, being a parent is part of impregnating a woman,

Dammit! I've had beer and you got me monologue-ing Lay off me!

Howlin Mad Murphy: WhippingBoy: Howlin Mad Murphy: HAHAHA. The whipped-as-hell stay at home dads claim that the only reason a woman would leave you is if you did something wrong. AHAHAHAHAHA, that's rich. Your women completely wear the pants, huh?

Please don't mock us, mighty internet tough guy! You're harsh words are making my tiny penis shrivel even more. My wife is going to be so mad at me... whatever will I do???

Hahaha, You know how I know you're full of shiat? My kids are in daycare for 3 hours a day. The time gap between her shift starting and mine ending. Raising my kids is easy. And, being a parent is part of impregnating a woman, not something you get your skirt all ruffled up about on the internet. Stay at home parents are not only lazy, they cut the income of the family (almost)in half. Do all that shiat you whine about AND go to work. This is America, not France.

/And, I don't even believe you still have a penis.

Whoa whoa whoa... I think we're on the same page here. I do do all that shiat people are whining about AND I work.

WhippingBoy: I do do all that shiat people are whining about AND I work.

I like to whine about all the people who win the lottery and don't give me all their money. Cough up and GBTW, biatch!

morgantx: Nana's Vibrator:

Funny you mention, I do let my older son take some good falls as long as his head isn't going to hit something hard.
Your nine year old would be on his own unless he was in one of those "let's talk through this and get you to safety" situations, although when it gets to that, you'd probably already be there.
The 2 year old at the top of the chain ropes while mom's off doing something else? (this dynamic fascinates me, people- watching at the playground is as interesting as people-watching on the subway.)

Reminds me of the joke about the wide receiver and the lady and her baby in the burning building: Don't worry, lady. I'll catch your baby. Trust me, I play football!
*catches baby*
Touchdownnnnn!!!!!
*spikes baby*

Six points!

/toddler catching is a learned skill

NotARocketScientist: Motherhood gets both sanctified and being a SAHM gets denigrated as not real work. Hopefully now, fatherhood can be as honored as motherhood, and if men are also SAHP, the denigration will disappear as well.

Sorry. I do the lions share of the work managing the household and taking care of the kids while my wife works. AND I have a full time job. If anything, my experience has reinforced my belief that this type of stuff isn't real work. Not trying to be a jerk; just my honest assessment. My kids smeared jello on the wall. Once. My kids colored on the walls. Once. My kids spread legos all over the floor. Many times. Maybe your sister just sucks at being a SAHM.