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(CNN) NewsFlash Roger Clemens is guilty of being a pompous douchebag, but that's it   (news.blogs.cnn.com) divider line 212
    More: NewsFlash, George Zimmerman, Roger Clemens  
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11574 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Jun 2012 at 4:58 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»


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2012-06-18 05:11:08 PM
Stupid pointless waste of time and resources was stupid and pointless.
 
2012-06-18 05:12:25 PM

LawrencePerson: I don't care if he's innocent or guilty at this point, I'm just happy the federal government will stop wasting our time on this trivial BS and hopefully concentrate on reducing the size and scope of the federal government.


weknowmemes.com
 
2012-06-18 05:12:39 PM

Trance750: If they induct him, they should induct Pete Rose. Anything less is a slap across the face.


fark Pete Rose. After what he did in the all-star game I hope he NEVER gets in...dead or not.
 
2012-06-18 05:13:19 PM

NightOwl2255: TheAlmightyOS: I don't keep up with the current news. who is he and why should I give a fark?

No one, you shouldn't.


Thanks for saving my time. I will continue to ignore this blissfully
 
2012-06-18 05:14:11 PM
Well that certainly wasn't a waste of everyone's time and money.

/Stupid case was stupid
 
2012-06-18 05:14:38 PM

TheAlmightyOS: NightOwl2255: TheAlmightyOS: I don't keep up with the current news. who is he and why should I give a fark?

No one, you shouldn't.

Thanks for saving my time. I will continue to ignore this blissfully


I'm here to help.
 
2012-06-18 05:15:24 PM
I don't know about you but I feel that was best tax dollar I ever spent.
 
2012-06-18 05:15:43 PM
 
2012-06-18 05:15:50 PM
IMO he did lie but to bother going after the guy with those high level resources versus using it for real crimes is asinine.
 
2012-06-18 05:17:03 PM
Nothing is illegal if you have enough money.
 
2012-06-18 05:18:02 PM
Okay, I have dibs on:

img1.fark.net George Zimmerman is guilty of being a pompous douchebag, but that's it

img1.fark.net George Zimmerman is guilty of being more than a pompous douchebag
 
2012-06-18 05:20:45 PM

Trance750: NightOwl2255: He's guilty as fark, but they did not have the proof.

Since when does Congress need proof or evidence to organize a witch-hunt? They've been doing it since 1774


I believe it was the DOJ organize this witch-hunt
 
2012-06-18 05:21:24 PM

Headso: IMO he did lie but to bother going after the guy with those high level resources versus using it for real crimes is asinine.


That's where I am these days. I mean I think pretty much everyone would agree the guy almost certainly juiced. Unless there was another reason why he would fly douchebag #1 from team to team to be his trainer. Oh, and Pettite. Oh and admitting he had the guy inject HIS WIFE with hgh but not actually using it himself. Yeah, I believe that. I think Roger juiced AND Mcnamee is a lying douchebag.
 
2012-06-18 05:22:01 PM
So Clemens walks?
 
2012-06-18 05:23:21 PM
Let this be a lesson to Shellie Zimmerman: you're only allowed to lie under oath if you're rich.
 
2012-06-18 05:24:15 PM

FinFangFark: he liked to have a trainer rub IcyHot on his junk


AAAAUUGHGHGHG!! IS THAT A THING?!?!?!
 
2012-06-18 05:26:22 PM

olddeegee: It's time to let the steroid stuff die. They're pretty tight on watching for it now, so the use is negligible.


I'd bet my left nut the reigning NL mvp used steroids. (note to everyone: why yes, I have seen the links to the articles by that one douchebag). I don't particularly care, but I think you have to be naive to think the current testing program is super effective. You can use all offseason and have a damn good chance of never being found out because the offseason testing regimen is a joke. Not to mention hgh and other kinds of doping they absolutely suck at detecting. Also, I have little to no use for my left nut any longer.
 
2012-06-18 05:27:00 PM
So you're saying that Clemens...

TommyDeuce: So Clemens walks?


Dammit
 
2012-06-18 05:27:39 PM

fishingthesky: Let this be a lesson to Shellie Zimmerman: you're only allowed to lie under oath if you're rich.


And not hideously ugly.
 
2012-06-18 05:27:45 PM

TommyDeuce: So Clemens walks?


Heh

/nice
 
2012-06-18 05:27:56 PM

Trance750: loooongview1: So, are his Hall of Fame chances any better? I read somewhere that the BBWA would want him to prove he didn't take steroids. How do you prove a negative.

If they induct him, they should induct Pete Rose. Anything less is a slap across the face.


Rose bet on baseball. He's not getting in while he's breathing. If you accept that, you'll be happier.

Clemens is going in. Not right away, but before Bonds.
 
2012-06-18 05:28:48 PM
So I guess the Federal Government

*puts on sunglasses*

Was ejected

YEAHHHHHHHHHHHH
 
2012-06-18 05:29:23 PM

bullwrinkle: Trance750: NightOwl2255: He's guilty as fark, but they did not have the proof.

Since when does Congress need proof or evidence to organize a witch-hunt? They've been doing it since 1774

I believe it was the DOJ organize this witch-hunt


Probably by some baseball traditionalist at the DOJ that's butthurt by the fact that maybe the players in the 50's and 60's weren't all the greatest players that ever lived and were actual human beings who's records might actually be beat.

Im wondering when the HoF will start excluding anyone that played after a certain date, because "how do you know if they were using steroids or not?!".
 
2012-06-18 05:35:10 PM
I don't know if Clemens did or didn't do PEDs, but I'm glad he was found not guilty. As others have said, it was a complete farking waste of time for Congress to look into this.
 
2012-06-18 05:39:07 PM
They also found him not guilty of being a real athlete.
 
2012-06-18 05:40:01 PM
Look, clemens can take the Lyle Alzado dirt nap for all the steroids he has used, I don't care, because I don't care about the douche bag bastard. Congress, all members, should be jailed for pushing this bullsh*t forward. The worthless bastards in DC can't solve any problems, but they're worried about some cocksucking pitcher that no one gives a rats ass about.
 
2012-06-18 05:42:00 PM
To celebrate the verdict, Roger is expected to go home and get in the hot tub until he looks like a lobster, then rub some liniment on his shriveled balls while snorting like a bull, followed by throwing a broken barrel of a bat at his wife.
 
2012-06-18 05:44:07 PM

Some Bass Playing Guy: I don't know if Clemens did or didn't do PEDs, but I'm glad he was found not guilty. As others have said, it was a complete farking waste of time for Congress to look into this.


That problem existed because congress held the hearings in the first place. The DOJ didn't have a hell of a lot of leeway once Clemens testified under oath. The mistake was even having the goddam steroid hearings. Not their job.
 
2012-06-18 05:46:31 PM
Watched his teary eyed presser. Looks like he's stopped hitting the juice and is hitting the custard.
 
2012-06-18 05:47:31 PM
Who gives a shiat about him not being guilty. The better question is why is Congress wasting its time and our money with bullshiat like steroids in major league baseball?
 
2012-06-18 05:47:44 PM

Mr. Potatoass: To celebrate the verdict, Roger is expected to go home and get in the hot tub until he looks like a lobster, then rub some liniment on his shriveled balls while snorting like a bull, followed by throwing a broken barrel of a bat at his wife.


So a typical Monday night at the Clemens' house?
 
2012-06-18 05:48:43 PM
So one might say the Government


*puts on sunglasses*

Did not obtain the results they were hoping for, due to an unadvantageous outcome at the federal district court level but which in theory could be appealed but which is unlikely as the government realizes that on balance, its case was weak and the likelihood of securing a conviction in the event an appellate court remands the case for a new trial is extremely unlikely so for all intensive purposes this case is done.

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH

*cue the Kinks' "We Can't Get Fooled Again"
 
2012-06-18 05:49:21 PM

TwistedJRob: I'll just leave this here... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sf-elzEGRrM&feature=related


Sweet can ... that is all.
 
2012-06-18 05:49:41 PM

The Jami Turman Fan Club: He wasn't guilty. Using steroids isn't illegal.

Can we get our money back from this crap? These stupid prosecutions cost millions.


Lying under oath is, and that's what he was charged with. And actually, steroids are illegal, but whatever. Congress never should've gotten involved in the first place, but once he raised his hand and got all indignant and it was played for weeks on news reels... well, they had boxed themselves into a corner at that point.
 
2012-06-18 05:50:53 PM

JohnBigBootay: olddeegee: It's time to let the steroid stuff die. They're pretty tight on watching for it now, so the use is negligible.

I'd bet my left nut the reigning NL mvp used steroids. (note to everyone: why yes, I have seen the links to the articles by that one douchebag). I don't particularly care, but I think you have to be naive to think the current testing program is super effective. You can use all offseason and have a damn good chance of never being found out because the offseason testing regimen is a joke. Not to mention hgh and other kinds of doping they absolutely suck at detecting. Also, I have little to no use for my left nut any longer.


I don't think it's all that prevalent right now. But that wasn't the point of my post.
 
2012-06-18 05:56:30 PM

Cyclometh: The Jami Turman Fan Club: He wasn't guilty. Using steroids isn't illegal.

He wasn't charged with using steroids, dumbass.


No, but that's what they tried to convict him of, which is why they failed, dumbass.
 
2012-06-18 05:56:57 PM
I'm shocked that no one has covered the "This is not a news flash" angle yet...

Representative of the unwashed masses: Soooo, not black?

Godscrack: White privilege FTW!

HaywoodJablonski: So now he can get into the HoF while the brown people won't?


But I didn't foresee so many people bringing up race.

SevenizGud: fark Pete Rose belongs in the HOF, because he has more hits than anyone else, was a great player, and only on-the-field play should affect HOF status. Betting and tax evasion did not make him a better or worse player.. After what he did in the all-star game I hope he NEVER gets in...dead or not.


/still on the fence about steroids, as long as they weren't against the rules of baseball at the time of use.
 
2012-06-18 05:57:59 PM
Sorry, Rog....you won nothing. The Court of Public Opinion overwhelmingly thinks you're dirty.
 
2012-06-18 05:58:04 PM
Now can they start the perjury trial for the guy(s) who lied to congress and got my friend murdered in Iraq?
 
2012-06-18 06:00:03 PM

PsyLord: This is good news for Lance Armstrong.


Maybe. The USADA doesn't answer to anyone.
 
2012-06-18 06:00:03 PM

rickythepenguin: that sound you hear is several dozen MLB Hall Of Fame Voters exhaling.....now they can vote him in as a first ballot HOFer and hide behind the "welp, he was exonerated! good enough for me!" excuse.

I'm looking at you, Costas.

/while leaving Barry bonds out to dry
//and Big Mac too
///and Sosa certainly


I'm ok with all those AND clemens being out of the HoF
 
2012-06-18 06:00:12 PM

Representative of the unwashed masses: Soooo, not black?


img685.imageshack.us
Amazing!
 
2012-06-18 06:02:22 PM

skrame: /still on the fence about steroids, as long as they weren't against the rules of baseball at the time of use.



fay vincent added steroids to the banned list via a 1991 memo to all teams.

Vincent was the first Commissioner to expressly include anabolic steroids among the substances prohibited under baseball's drug policy, which he did in the June 1991 version of the memorandum.130 Steroids were added to the drug policy at that time, apparently as a result of the enactment of the Anabolic Steroids Control Act of 1990. Under that statute, anabolic steroids had been reclassified as Schedule III controlled substances, and the illegal use of them became subject to substantially increased criminal penalties.131

Keep in mind, that aside from vincent adding steroids to the naughty list, as Schedule III substances, use/possession of steroids without a prescription was illegal under federal law. so the "welp, steroids weren't illegal!" argument is a double fail.

the problem was, the MLBPA and the owner's colluded to bar adoption of a testing regime. so a rule existed, but there was no way to enforce / check it.

but the notion of "ZOMG MLB never banned steroids until 2006!"* is patently, willingly, "i'm going to stick my head in the sand and ignore the truth" false.


*or 2005. whenever they adopted testing after Congress threatened to take back the antitrust exemption and Bud Selig et al had no choice
 
2012-06-18 06:03:23 PM
Why is lying about cheating at a sport worthy of a federal trial?
 
2012-06-18 06:08:35 PM

Coco LaFemme: Why is lying about cheating at a sport worthy of a federal trial?



why is lying to a federal grand jury about insider trading in the stock market worthy of a federal trial?

why is lying to a federal grand jury about whether monica blew you worthy of getting impeached?

the federal government, like people, haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaates being lied to.

/martha stewart.jpg
//bill clinton.jpg
 
2012-06-18 06:09:03 PM
Nancy Grace strikes again!

"HE'S GUILTY!"
"Nancy, the jury found him not--"
"I DON'T CARE WHAT A DUMBASS JURY SAYS! HE'S GUILTY!"
"Juries are kind of important, Nancy."
"DO YOU WANT TO BE GUILTY, TOO?"
"...of what, Nancy?"
"IT DOESN'T MATTER! YOU'RE GUILTY! GET THIS GUILTY MAN OUT OF MY SIGHT!"
"...Nancy, he's Wolf Blitzer."
"GUILTY!"
 
2012-06-18 06:09:08 PM
I'm not a particularly big fan of Clemens, but truth be told, this case bordered on double jeopardy. They already had a mistrial and the feds should have quit right there. That's what they did in the John Edwards trial.
 
2012-06-18 06:10:29 PM
The judge put the fix in by basically muting Pettite.

He's an obvious juicer, and will never get in to the hall.
 
2012-06-18 06:11:03 PM

rickythepenguin: Coco LaFemme: Why is lying about cheating at a sport worthy of a federal trial?

why is lying to a federal grand jury about whether monica blew you worthy of getting impeached?


The Republicans in Congress had an axe to grind, and more than a few were jealous that Bill was getting hummers under the desk in the Oval Office, while they were left slapping the asses on pages and interns.
 
2012-06-18 06:13:00 PM
Stupid farking feds.
 
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