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(CNN) NewsFlash Roger Clemens is guilty of being a pompous douchebag, but that's it   (news.blogs.cnn.com) divider line 212
    More: NewsFlash, George Zimmerman, Roger Clemens  
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11579 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Jun 2012 at 4:58 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»


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Archived thread
 
2012-06-18 04:59:15 PM  
What a surprise.
 
2012-06-18 04:59:38 PM  
Soooo, not black?
 
2012-06-18 05:00:28 PM  
I'm sure he used a public defender right? Because every 'mercan gets a fair trial in this country regardless of wealth...
 
2012-06-18 05:00:35 PM  
There are better headlines in the queue.
 
2012-06-18 05:00:37 PM  
The Congress can get bent.
 
2012-06-18 05:00:38 PM  
Good. Can we quit dragging this thing out now?
 
2012-06-18 05:00:38 PM  
Obviously subby. I mean he was a Yankee, right?
 
2012-06-18 05:00:39 PM  
If the head is abnormally large, he must be chargred.
 
2012-06-18 05:00:39 PM  
Renews your faith does it not?

NOT
 
2012-06-18 05:00:40 PM  
He and Edwards can open up a new restaurant: Two D-bags Deli or something like that.
 
2012-06-18 05:00:42 PM  
Hoooooray Congress.
 
2012-06-18 05:00:48 PM  
Good. Congress should never have been involved in the first place. What a complete waste of time and taxpayer money.
 
2012-06-18 05:01:01 PM  
White privilege FTW!
 
2012-06-18 05:01:09 PM  
Good. Now perhaps Congress can finally turn their attention to pulling America from the toilet
 
2012-06-18 05:01:10 PM  
He's guilty as fark, but they did not have the proof.
 
2012-06-18 05:01:39 PM  
He won't be catching in prison..
 
2012-06-18 05:01:52 PM  
How is this news?
 
2012-06-18 05:01:57 PM  

Jim from Saint Paul: Obviously subby. I mean he was a Yankee, right?


Probably...but I think it has to do with the fact that he liked to have a trainer rub IcyHot on his junk, and he's snort like a bull before he would pitch.

That's mega-level douchery on its own.
 
2012-06-18 05:02:02 PM  
Who?
 
2012-06-18 05:02:14 PM  
So, are his Hall of Fame chances any better? I read somewhere that the BBWA would want him to prove he didn't take steroids. How do you prove a negative.
 
2012-06-18 05:02:16 PM  
I don't care if he's innocent or guilty at this point, I'm just happy the federal government will stop wasting our time on this trivial BS and hopefully concentrate on reducing the size and scope of the federal government.
 
2012-06-18 05:02:37 PM  
This is good news for Lance Armstrong.
 
2012-06-18 05:02:59 PM  
 
2012-06-18 05:03:05 PM  
I want to see the dollar total on this waste of time and beat it out of every congressman that pushed for this stupid investigation to begin with.
 
2012-06-18 05:03:17 PM  

NightOwl2255: He's guilty as fark, but they did not have the proof.


Since when does Congress need proof or evidence to organize a witch-hunt? They've been doing it since 1774
 
2012-06-18 05:03:24 PM  
Hahaha you crazy Americans! How much money have you spent with this stupid trial?!
 
2012-06-18 05:03:56 PM  
He wasn't guilty. Using steroids isn't illegal.

Can we get our money back from this crap? These stupid prosecutions cost millions.
 
2012-06-18 05:04:13 PM  
So now he can get into the HoF while the brown people won't?
 
2012-06-18 05:04:25 PM  
Our tax dollars at jerk.
 
2012-06-18 05:04:26 PM  
There is a difference between "probably guilty" and "guilty beyond a reasonable doubt'. Watching this trial I thought he was most likely guilty. I also thought he'd most likely be found not guilty.

When you base all your case on one guy's testimony and that guy has an axe to grind, you're on thin ice.

I just hope the Hall of Fame tells Clemens that he's persona non grata.
 
2012-06-18 05:04:27 PM  
The Red Sox could use him right about now. And Schilling could probably use some cash.

What's Pedro doing these days?
 
2012-06-18 05:05:03 PM  
So I guess the Government

*puts on sunglasses*

struck out

/gotta be a better one than this but IDGAF to try anymore
 
2012-06-18 05:05:15 PM  

The Jami Turman Fan Club: He wasn't guilty. Using steroids isn't illegal.


He wasn't charged with using steroids, dumbass.
 
2012-06-18 05:05:15 PM  
I don't keep up with the current news. who is he and why should I give a fark?
 
2012-06-18 05:05:27 PM  
And remember, now that this case is over, SO WHAT?
 
2012-06-18 05:05:33 PM  
Still can't believe congress had a farking hearing about this issue. Steroid use in baseball was the most dire problem at the time?
 
2012-06-18 05:05:57 PM  

TheAlmightyOS: I don't keep up with the current news. who is he and why should I give a fark?


No one, you shouldn't.
 
2012-06-18 05:06:03 PM  
It's time to let the steroid stuff die. They're pretty tight on watching for it now, so the use is negligible. I recently saw an interview with Ernie Banks. The interviewer said the he doesn't accept that Barry Bonds is the all time home-run hitter because he probably used steroids. Banks said, " That's crazy. You have any idea what how many players in my day were drinking and on pills? "
 
2012-06-18 05:06:15 PM  
that sound you hear is several dozen MLB Hall Of Fame Voters exhaling.....now they can vote him in as a first ballot HOFer and hide behind the "welp, he was exonerated! good enough for me!" excuse.

I'm looking at you, Costas.

/while leaving Barry bonds out to dry
//and Big Mac too
///and Sosa certainly
 
2012-06-18 05:07:01 PM  
Best ever Nintendo RBI Baseball pitcher.
 
2012-06-18 05:07:49 PM  
I myself cant wait to buy my tickets for the John Edwards-Roger Clemens 2012 Summer Douchebag tour of Champions
 
2012-06-18 05:08:22 PM  
Didn't he have an affair with Mindy McCreedy when she was underage?

/not sure if he admitted it
/forgot the details
 
2012-06-18 05:09:08 PM  

jaybeezey: I want to see the dollar total on this waste of time and beat it out of every congressman that pushed for this stupid investigation to begin with.


Reported to congress
 
2012-06-18 05:09:20 PM  

busy chillin': So I guess the Government

*puts on sunglasses*

struck out

/gotta be a better one than this but IDGAF to try anymore


So I guess Clemens is now

*puts on sunglasses*

in the Clear.
 
2012-06-18 05:09:28 PM  
Would wouldn't have had all these problems with Clemens if Mike Piazza had just gone out to the mound and shoved the remainder of his bat through Roger's ribcage and punctured his heart.
 
2012-06-18 05:09:34 PM  
Third time is going to be the charm! Retry this d-bag! Why your at it spend more millions on a farkng lying baseball player.
 
2012-06-18 05:09:47 PM  

loooongview1: So, are his Hall of Fame chances any better? I read somewhere that the BBWA would want him to prove he didn't take steroids. How do you prove a negative.


If they induct him, they should induct Pete Rose. Anything less is a slap across the face.
 
2012-06-18 05:10:12 PM  
Cut the budget on Social Services, but waste money on a trial because someone lied to liars.
 
2012-06-18 05:10:23 PM  
Justice wasn't served but judging by that photo of Roger Clemens, dinner sure was.
 
2012-06-18 05:10:58 PM  
It's a shame he never won an Oscar for his role in Kingpin.
 
2012-06-18 05:11:08 PM  
Stupid pointless waste of time and resources was stupid and pointless.
 
2012-06-18 05:12:25 PM  

LawrencePerson: I don't care if he's innocent or guilty at this point, I'm just happy the federal government will stop wasting our time on this trivial BS and hopefully concentrate on reducing the size and scope of the federal government.


weknowmemes.com
 
2012-06-18 05:12:39 PM  

Trance750: If they induct him, they should induct Pete Rose. Anything less is a slap across the face.


fark Pete Rose. After what he did in the all-star game I hope he NEVER gets in...dead or not.
 
2012-06-18 05:13:19 PM  

NightOwl2255: TheAlmightyOS: I don't keep up with the current news. who is he and why should I give a fark?

No one, you shouldn't.


Thanks for saving my time. I will continue to ignore this blissfully
 
2012-06-18 05:14:11 PM  
Well that certainly wasn't a waste of everyone's time and money.

/Stupid case was stupid
 
2012-06-18 05:14:38 PM  

TheAlmightyOS: NightOwl2255: TheAlmightyOS: I don't keep up with the current news. who is he and why should I give a fark?

No one, you shouldn't.

Thanks for saving my time. I will continue to ignore this blissfully


I'm here to help.
 
2012-06-18 05:15:24 PM  
I don't know about you but I feel that was best tax dollar I ever spent.
 
2012-06-18 05:15:43 PM  
 
2012-06-18 05:15:50 PM  
IMO he did lie but to bother going after the guy with those high level resources versus using it for real crimes is asinine.
 
2012-06-18 05:17:03 PM  
Nothing is illegal if you have enough money.
 
2012-06-18 05:18:02 PM  
Okay, I have dibs on:

img1.fark.net George Zimmerman is guilty of being a pompous douchebag, but that's it

img1.fark.net George Zimmerman is guilty of being more than a pompous douchebag
 
2012-06-18 05:20:45 PM  

Trance750: NightOwl2255: He's guilty as fark, but they did not have the proof.

Since when does Congress need proof or evidence to organize a witch-hunt? They've been doing it since 1774


I believe it was the DOJ organize this witch-hunt
 
2012-06-18 05:21:24 PM  

Headso: IMO he did lie but to bother going after the guy with those high level resources versus using it for real crimes is asinine.


That's where I am these days. I mean I think pretty much everyone would agree the guy almost certainly juiced. Unless there was another reason why he would fly douchebag #1 from team to team to be his trainer. Oh, and Pettite. Oh and admitting he had the guy inject HIS WIFE with hgh but not actually using it himself. Yeah, I believe that. I think Roger juiced AND Mcnamee is a lying douchebag.
 
2012-06-18 05:22:01 PM  
So Clemens walks?
 
2012-06-18 05:23:21 PM  
Let this be a lesson to Shellie Zimmerman: you're only allowed to lie under oath if you're rich.
 
2012-06-18 05:24:15 PM  

FinFangFark: he liked to have a trainer rub IcyHot on his junk


AAAAUUGHGHGHG!! IS THAT A THING?!?!?!
 
2012-06-18 05:26:22 PM  

olddeegee: It's time to let the steroid stuff die. They're pretty tight on watching for it now, so the use is negligible.


I'd bet my left nut the reigning NL mvp used steroids. (note to everyone: why yes, I have seen the links to the articles by that one douchebag). I don't particularly care, but I think you have to be naive to think the current testing program is super effective. You can use all offseason and have a damn good chance of never being found out because the offseason testing regimen is a joke. Not to mention hgh and other kinds of doping they absolutely suck at detecting. Also, I have little to no use for my left nut any longer.
 
2012-06-18 05:27:00 PM  
So you're saying that Clemens...

TommyDeuce: So Clemens walks?


Dammit
 
2012-06-18 05:27:39 PM  

fishingthesky: Let this be a lesson to Shellie Zimmerman: you're only allowed to lie under oath if you're rich.


And not hideously ugly.
 
2012-06-18 05:27:45 PM  

TommyDeuce: So Clemens walks?


Heh

/nice
 
2012-06-18 05:27:56 PM  

Trance750: loooongview1: So, are his Hall of Fame chances any better? I read somewhere that the BBWA would want him to prove he didn't take steroids. How do you prove a negative.

If they induct him, they should induct Pete Rose. Anything less is a slap across the face.


Rose bet on baseball. He's not getting in while he's breathing. If you accept that, you'll be happier.

Clemens is going in. Not right away, but before Bonds.
 
2012-06-18 05:28:48 PM  
So I guess the Federal Government

*puts on sunglasses*

Was ejected

YEAHHHHHHHHHHHH
 
2012-06-18 05:29:23 PM  

bullwrinkle: Trance750: NightOwl2255: He's guilty as fark, but they did not have the proof.

Since when does Congress need proof or evidence to organize a witch-hunt? They've been doing it since 1774

I believe it was the DOJ organize this witch-hunt


Probably by some baseball traditionalist at the DOJ that's butthurt by the fact that maybe the players in the 50's and 60's weren't all the greatest players that ever lived and were actual human beings who's records might actually be beat.

Im wondering when the HoF will start excluding anyone that played after a certain date, because "how do you know if they were using steroids or not?!".
 
2012-06-18 05:35:10 PM  
I don't know if Clemens did or didn't do PEDs, but I'm glad he was found not guilty. As others have said, it was a complete farking waste of time for Congress to look into this.
 
2012-06-18 05:39:07 PM  
They also found him not guilty of being a real athlete.
 
2012-06-18 05:40:01 PM  
Look, clemens can take the Lyle Alzado dirt nap for all the steroids he has used, I don't care, because I don't care about the douche bag bastard. Congress, all members, should be jailed for pushing this bullsh*t forward. The worthless bastards in DC can't solve any problems, but they're worried about some cocksucking pitcher that no one gives a rats ass about.
 
2012-06-18 05:42:00 PM  
To celebrate the verdict, Roger is expected to go home and get in the hot tub until he looks like a lobster, then rub some liniment on his shriveled balls while snorting like a bull, followed by throwing a broken barrel of a bat at his wife.
 
2012-06-18 05:44:07 PM  

Some Bass Playing Guy: I don't know if Clemens did or didn't do PEDs, but I'm glad he was found not guilty. As others have said, it was a complete farking waste of time for Congress to look into this.


That problem existed because congress held the hearings in the first place. The DOJ didn't have a hell of a lot of leeway once Clemens testified under oath. The mistake was even having the goddam steroid hearings. Not their job.
 
2012-06-18 05:46:31 PM  
Watched his teary eyed presser. Looks like he's stopped hitting the juice and is hitting the custard.
 
2012-06-18 05:47:31 PM  
Who gives a shiat about him not being guilty. The better question is why is Congress wasting its time and our money with bullshiat like steroids in major league baseball?
 
2012-06-18 05:47:44 PM  

Mr. Potatoass: To celebrate the verdict, Roger is expected to go home and get in the hot tub until he looks like a lobster, then rub some liniment on his shriveled balls while snorting like a bull, followed by throwing a broken barrel of a bat at his wife.


So a typical Monday night at the Clemens' house?
 
2012-06-18 05:48:43 PM  
So one might say the Government


*puts on sunglasses*

Did not obtain the results they were hoping for, due to an unadvantageous outcome at the federal district court level but which in theory could be appealed but which is unlikely as the government realizes that on balance, its case was weak and the likelihood of securing a conviction in the event an appellate court remands the case for a new trial is extremely unlikely so for all intensive purposes this case is done.

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH

*cue the Kinks' "We Can't Get Fooled Again"
 
2012-06-18 05:49:21 PM  

TwistedJRob: I'll just leave this here... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sf-elzEGRrM&feature=related


Sweet can ... that is all.
 
2012-06-18 05:49:41 PM  

The Jami Turman Fan Club: He wasn't guilty. Using steroids isn't illegal.

Can we get our money back from this crap? These stupid prosecutions cost millions.


Lying under oath is, and that's what he was charged with. And actually, steroids are illegal, but whatever. Congress never should've gotten involved in the first place, but once he raised his hand and got all indignant and it was played for weeks on news reels... well, they had boxed themselves into a corner at that point.
 
2012-06-18 05:50:53 PM  

JohnBigBootay: olddeegee: It's time to let the steroid stuff die. They're pretty tight on watching for it now, so the use is negligible.

I'd bet my left nut the reigning NL mvp used steroids. (note to everyone: why yes, I have seen the links to the articles by that one douchebag). I don't particularly care, but I think you have to be naive to think the current testing program is super effective. You can use all offseason and have a damn good chance of never being found out because the offseason testing regimen is a joke. Not to mention hgh and other kinds of doping they absolutely suck at detecting. Also, I have little to no use for my left nut any longer.


I don't think it's all that prevalent right now. But that wasn't the point of my post.
 
2012-06-18 05:56:30 PM  

Cyclometh: The Jami Turman Fan Club: He wasn't guilty. Using steroids isn't illegal.

He wasn't charged with using steroids, dumbass.


No, but that's what they tried to convict him of, which is why they failed, dumbass.
 
2012-06-18 05:56:57 PM  
I'm shocked that no one has covered the "This is not a news flash" angle yet...

Representative of the unwashed masses: Soooo, not black?

Godscrack: White privilege FTW!

HaywoodJablonski: So now he can get into the HoF while the brown people won't?


But I didn't foresee so many people bringing up race.

SevenizGud: fark Pete Rose belongs in the HOF, because he has more hits than anyone else, was a great player, and only on-the-field play should affect HOF status. Betting and tax evasion did not make him a better or worse player.. After what he did in the all-star game I hope he NEVER gets in...dead or not.


/still on the fence about steroids, as long as they weren't against the rules of baseball at the time of use.
 
2012-06-18 05:57:59 PM  
Sorry, Rog....you won nothing. The Court of Public Opinion overwhelmingly thinks you're dirty.
 
2012-06-18 05:58:04 PM  
Now can they start the perjury trial for the guy(s) who lied to congress and got my friend murdered in Iraq?
 
2012-06-18 06:00:03 PM  

PsyLord: This is good news for Lance Armstrong.


Maybe. The USADA doesn't answer to anyone.
 
2012-06-18 06:00:03 PM  

rickythepenguin: that sound you hear is several dozen MLB Hall Of Fame Voters exhaling.....now they can vote him in as a first ballot HOFer and hide behind the "welp, he was exonerated! good enough for me!" excuse.

I'm looking at you, Costas.

/while leaving Barry bonds out to dry
//and Big Mac too
///and Sosa certainly


I'm ok with all those AND clemens being out of the HoF
 
2012-06-18 06:00:12 PM  

Representative of the unwashed masses: Soooo, not black?


img685.imageshack.us
Amazing!
 
2012-06-18 06:02:22 PM  

skrame: /still on the fence about steroids, as long as they weren't against the rules of baseball at the time of use.



fay vincent added steroids to the banned list via a 1991 memo to all teams.

Vincent was the first Commissioner to expressly include anabolic steroids among the substances prohibited under baseball's drug policy, which he did in the June 1991 version of the memorandum.130 Steroids were added to the drug policy at that time, apparently as a result of the enactment of the Anabolic Steroids Control Act of 1990. Under that statute, anabolic steroids had been reclassified as Schedule III controlled substances, and the illegal use of them became subject to substantially increased criminal penalties.131

Keep in mind, that aside from vincent adding steroids to the naughty list, as Schedule III substances, use/possession of steroids without a prescription was illegal under federal law. so the "welp, steroids weren't illegal!" argument is a double fail.

the problem was, the MLBPA and the owner's colluded to bar adoption of a testing regime. so a rule existed, but there was no way to enforce / check it.

but the notion of "ZOMG MLB never banned steroids until 2006!"* is patently, willingly, "i'm going to stick my head in the sand and ignore the truth" false.


*or 2005. whenever they adopted testing after Congress threatened to take back the antitrust exemption and Bud Selig et al had no choice
 
2012-06-18 06:03:23 PM  
Why is lying about cheating at a sport worthy of a federal trial?
 
2012-06-18 06:08:35 PM  

Coco LaFemme: Why is lying about cheating at a sport worthy of a federal trial?



why is lying to a federal grand jury about insider trading in the stock market worthy of a federal trial?

why is lying to a federal grand jury about whether monica blew you worthy of getting impeached?

the federal government, like people, haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaates being lied to.

/martha stewart.jpg
//bill clinton.jpg
 
2012-06-18 06:09:03 PM  
Nancy Grace strikes again!

"HE'S GUILTY!"
"Nancy, the jury found him not--"
"I DON'T CARE WHAT A DUMBASS JURY SAYS! HE'S GUILTY!"
"Juries are kind of important, Nancy."
"DO YOU WANT TO BE GUILTY, TOO?"
"...of what, Nancy?"
"IT DOESN'T MATTER! YOU'RE GUILTY! GET THIS GUILTY MAN OUT OF MY SIGHT!"
"...Nancy, he's Wolf Blitzer."
"GUILTY!"
 
2012-06-18 06:09:08 PM  
I'm not a particularly big fan of Clemens, but truth be told, this case bordered on double jeopardy. They already had a mistrial and the feds should have quit right there. That's what they did in the John Edwards trial.
 
2012-06-18 06:10:29 PM  
The judge put the fix in by basically muting Pettite.

He's an obvious juicer, and will never get in to the hall.
 
2012-06-18 06:11:03 PM  

rickythepenguin: Coco LaFemme: Why is lying about cheating at a sport worthy of a federal trial?

why is lying to a federal grand jury about whether monica blew you worthy of getting impeached?


The Republicans in Congress had an axe to grind, and more than a few were jealous that Bill was getting hummers under the desk in the Oval Office, while they were left slapping the asses on pages and interns.
 
2012-06-18 06:13:00 PM  
Stupid farking feds.
 
2012-06-18 06:15:19 PM  

LawrencePerson: I don't care if he's innocent or guilty at this point, I'm just happy the federal government will stop wasting our time on this trivial BS and hopefully concentrate on reducing the size and scope of the federal government.


You must have been furious during the Lewinsky Scandal trials
 
2012-06-18 06:17:37 PM  

olddeegee: It's time to let the steroid stuff die. They're pretty tight on watching for it now, so the use is negligible. I recently saw an interview with Ernie Banks. The interviewer said the he doesn't accept that Barry Bonds is the all time home-run hitter because he probably used steroids. Banks said, " That's crazy. You have any idea what how many players in my day were drinking and on pills? "


Jim Bunning, for one.
 
2012-06-18 06:18:25 PM  

the biggest redneck here: The Jami Turman Fan Club: He wasn't guilty. Using steroids isn't illegal.

Can we get our money back from this crap? These stupid prosecutions cost millions.

Lying under oath is, and that's what he was charged with.


Yeah, we've heard that horsecrap before. Sleeping with somebody is illegal, lying about sleeping with someone is an impeachment offence. Didn't work then either.

Steroids are generally legal. Most are prescription, the others are legal over the counter, such as Preparation H (Hydrocortisone). They're not banned.

The doctor or trainer could be in trouble, though.
 
2012-06-18 06:19:06 PM  
All I want is for him to get in as much trouble as Bonds. If Bonds goes to prison, I want Clemens in prison. If Bonds is kept out of the HoF, I want Clemens kept out of the HoF.

They're exactly the same. Equally dominant at a very old age, equally awful people, only difference is that Clemens pitches. And is white.
 
2012-06-18 06:21:45 PM  
rickythepenguin

martha stewart.jpg
//bill clinton.jpg


Don't forget the new and improved attorney general, Eric Holder.

NOW !!! Faster and more Furious.
 
2012-06-18 06:24:32 PM  

The Jami Turman Fan Club: Steroids are generally legal. Most are prescription, the others are legal over the counter, such as Preparation H (Hydrocortisone). They're not banned.


Silly for him to lie about it then, right?
 
2012-06-18 06:25:50 PM  
Can we stop these damn witch hunts for athletes who aren't boy scouts now? Is the morality crusade over yet? How many taxpayer dollars did this farce cost?
 
SH
2012-06-18 06:25:52 PM  

Thunderpipes: Good. Congress should never have been involved in the first place. What a complete waste of time and taxpayer money.


YES, indeed.
 
2012-06-18 06:26:27 PM  
Some of the steroids guys should go to the hall of fame, including Bonds, Clemens, A Rod, etc. Maybe not Sosa because he tried to pull of that corked bat bs.
 
2012-06-18 06:29:38 PM  
Was Sean Estes the jury foreman?
 
2012-06-18 06:34:57 PM  

The Jami Turman Fan Club: Steroids are generally legal.


No, the kinds he was purportedly using are most certainly not legal without a prescription. I think the congressional hearings were a waste of time. But I'm not gonna cry for the guy - if you and I were pulled over with that shiat in the glove box we'd be going downtown.
 
2012-06-18 06:34:59 PM  

rickythepenguin: Keep in mind, that aside from vincent adding steroids to the naughty list, as Schedule III substances, use/possession of steroids without a prescription was illegal under federal law. so the "welp, steroids weren't illegal!" argument is a double fail.


I've always thought this argument was a fail. Some things shouldn't have to be in the rulebook. I'm pretty sure there's nothing in the Olympic figure skating rulebook that says hiring a goon to whack your opponent on the knee is against the rules, but most people agree that it's cheating and that the person who does it should suffer consequences, not only under the law but within the sport. If it's against the law and it gives you a competitive advantage over those who choose to follow the law, it's cheating.
 
2012-06-18 06:38:12 PM  

JohnBigBootay: The Jami Turman Fan Club: Steroids are generally legal.

No, the kinds he was purportedly using are most certainly not legal without a prescription. I think the congressional hearings were a waste of time. But I'm not gonna cry for the guy - if you and I were pulled over with that shiat in the glove box we'd be going downtown.


So would he.
 
2012-06-18 06:39:08 PM  
To be fair, Sports fans are pompous douchbags.
So he''s in his element.

/Hope it's a Honda.
 
2012-06-18 06:45:30 PM  
The Black Sox were acquitted too.
 
2012-06-18 06:46:34 PM  
Swing and a miss.
 
2012-06-18 06:48:05 PM  

Arbeit Macht Freefall: LawrencePerson: I don't care if he's innocent or guilty at this point, I'm just happy the federal government will stop wasting our time on this trivial BS and hopefully concentrate on reducing the size and scope of the federal government.

You must have been furious during the Lewinsky Scandal trials



OH SNAP
 
2012-06-18 06:55:15 PM  
This does not mean I believe Clemens. I have though Clemens was a juicer long before he was actually outed as one.

All those extra long off seasons to juice up while not under contract and out of risk of testing.

I still think this was a waste of time and money, but it seems the Justice Department is very good at wasting both of those things.
 
2012-06-18 07:05:06 PM  

The Jami Turman Fan Club: Cyclometh: The Jami Turman Fan Club: He wasn't guilty. Using steroids isn't illegal.

He wasn't charged with using steroids, dumbass.

No, but that's what they tried to convict him of, which is why they failed, dumbass.


Look at how stupid you are.
 
2012-06-18 07:08:41 PM  
Regardless of the outcome of the juries...
 
2012-06-18 07:14:21 PM  
Yay, more baseball players from my youth that are going down. I wonder how much his rookie card will decrease in value, I have a few I believe.
 
2012-06-18 07:18:01 PM  
Can we start trying congresspeople with "lying to congress"?

Like when a long line of them got approached the microphone, and EVERY ONE referred to a bill as a "job-killing bill"? Can we try them? Can we try the captains of industry when they lie to congress?

We can put a president and a goddamn pitcher for lying to congress, but we can't try anyone else? What's the defense? Ignorance or stupidity?

This entire Clemens fiasco has been a shameful waste of time and resources. Sure, he probably got injected with roids, but WHO CARES? Why doesn't get mad when other members of Congress lie to them?
 
2012-06-18 07:23:57 PM  
Has anyone mentioned how much of a waste of money this has been? Christ almighty.
 
2012-06-18 07:24:57 PM  

IlGreven: Nancy Grace strikes again!

"HE'S GUILTY!"
"Nancy, the jury found him not--"
"I DON'T CARE WHAT A DUMBASS JURY SAYS! HE'S GUILTY!"
"Juries are kind of important, Nancy."
"DO YOU WANT TO BE GUILTY, TOO?"
"...of what, Nancy?"
"IT DOESN'T MATTER! YOU'RE GUILTY! GET THIS GUILTY MAN OUT OF MY SIGHT!"
"...Nancy, he's Wolf Blitzer."
"GUILTY!"


[slowclap.jpg]
 
2012-06-18 07:25:54 PM  
Pretty sure the jury nullified this one. I can't wait for jury nullification to get more publicity as a result of this trial.
 
2012-06-18 07:26:42 PM  

rickythepenguin: the problem was, the MLBPA and the owner's colluded to bar adoption of a testing regime. so a rule existed, but there was no way to enforce / check it.

but the notion of "ZOMG MLB never banned steroids until 2006!"* is patently, willingly, "i'm going to stick my head in the sand and ignore the truth" false.



Works out just the same.
 
2012-06-18 07:30:12 PM  
Now for the Tobacco Executives. Oh wait, they own congress.
 
2012-06-18 07:40:15 PM  
Way to go, Citizen's United!

You sucked when you were just a glint in Papa's eye!
 
2012-06-18 07:46:43 PM  

dabbletech: How is this news?


Let me guess: it goes straight to your inbox?
 
2012-06-18 07:47:14 PM  

uncoveror: Can we stop these damn witch hunts for athletes who aren't boy scouts now? Is the morality crusade over yet? How many taxpayer dollars did this farce cost?


Well how much money went into the wrong hands because Roger Clemens did steroids? Undeserving people benefited monetarily from Roger Clemens breaking the law.
 
2012-06-18 07:52:29 PM  

The Jami Turman Fan Club: the biggest redneck here: The Jami Turman Fan Club: He wasn't guilty. Using steroids isn't illegal.

Can we get our money back from this crap? These stupid prosecutions cost millions.

Lying under oath is, and that's what he was charged with.

Yeah, we've heard that horsecrap before. Sleeping with somebody is illegal, lying about sleeping with someone is an impeachment offence. Didn't work then either.

Steroids are generally legal. Most are prescription, the others are legal over the counter, such as Preparation H (Hydrocortisone). They're not banned.

The doctor or trainer could be in trouble, though.


You're either the greatest troll or a moron.
 
2012-06-18 07:52:44 PM  

Di Atribe: dabbletech: How is this news?

Let me guess: it goes straight to your inbox?


Yeah, thank you, DA, and for the record: I am SO glad I didn't opt in to that Farknar-cissism. Ugh. I can only imagine how maladjusted I might be then!

Sheesh.

;)
 
2012-06-18 07:55:30 PM  

jaylectricity: Well how much money went into the wrong hands because Roger Clemens did steroids? Undeserving people benefited monetarily from Roger Clemens breaking the law.


I think people do forget that MLB is big business. Just because the end result is us sitting on our asses watching baseball, that doesn't mean that there aren't BILLIONS of dollars floating around. When billions of dollars are at stake, we probably shouldn't let people cheat at it. Right, big banks? Right, Goldman Sachs? OK, just checking.


Indubitably: Yeah, thank you, DA, and for the record: I am SO glad I didn't opt in to that Farknar-cissism. Ugh. I can only imagine how maladjusted I might be then!


I don't really know what this means, but I like you anyway, so HI!
 
2012-06-18 07:59:32 PM  
Statement of Fact:

TV lawyers get it 75% wrong on the cases they report on.

The media always reported as if Clemens was guilty...he was not
 
2012-06-18 08:06:18 PM  

NightOwl2255: He's guilty as fark, but they did not have the proof.


This goes back to whether the government should have prosecuted either Clemens or Bonds, in the first place. If the goal was to clean up steroid use in baseball, the answer is that this served no useful purpose. If the goal was for political grandstanding, and making your name for yourself in the US Attorney General office, the answer is this served no useful purpose.
 
2012-06-18 08:24:59 PM  
Do you want to know why steroids are cheating?

Picture this: You are 23 years old. You're a damned good baseball player, if you were ranked, maybe you'd be number 1,000 in the entire world. You're a AAA minor-league third-baseman, and you're in a good spot. The organization you play for has an aging third-baseman, that you're the equal of in every way, except he's making millions, and you have a winter job, and live at your parents' house in the off-season. He's 36, and it is your turn. You've rode buses, and slept two to a bed, and showered in rusty water, and you've pissed in a bottle to prove you're clean, and you've paid your dues. Now, it's your turn to go to The Show.

But in Spring training, that 36 year-old guy is just killing the ball. He's moving like he's 23, diving for balls he couldn't reach last September. He's no longer got warning-track power, people now pay attention when he's in the batting cage. He's got his swagger and ego back, and it shows. So instead of sending him down at the end of Spring training, you have to go back to AAA ball, while he gets a new bigger contract, which further cements him into the job that's rightfully yours. And because he's a major leaguer, he doesn't have to test for the very thing that has given him new abilities, extended his baseball lifetime.

Now imagine that this has gone on for four years. He's now 40, and has made himself a tidy pile of dough while stealing your glory, your headlines, and most importantly, your MONEY. Now, you're 28 and your best years are behind you. Your parents still love you, but they don't brag about you nearly as much. You think "maybe this year", but there's a new 23 year-old phenom third-baseman in the system, who is maybe just as good as you, but he's only 23. Guess who your organization is going to keep.

THIS is why steroids are cheating. This scenario has played out hundreds of times in the steroid era.

/it's worse than cheating
//it is stealing
 
2012-06-18 08:27:43 PM  
Obama's Justice Department lost another high profile case. Keep Henry Waxman (D-Calif) in mind when election season comes around.
 
2012-06-18 08:33:23 PM  
SO tell me TF'ers, how long has it been since an original meme crossed the queue?
 
2012-06-18 08:35:32 PM  

rickythepenguin: that sound you hear is several dozen MLB Hall Of Fame Voters exhaling.....now they can vote him in as a first ballot HOFer and hide behind the "welp, he was exonerated! good enough for me!" excuse.

I'm looking at you, Costas.

/while leaving Barry bonds out to dry
//and Big Mac too
///and Sosa certainly


Bonds wasnt found guilty on any steroids charges either.

He was aquitted of everything except for a single charge of giving a non-"yes or no" answer, and rambling about his childhood and what it was like growing up as a the child of a celebrity, when no one was particularly interested, during a single question and answer session in 2004. Thats the only charge they had evidence on - rambling. Officially "obstruction of justice" because his 3 minutes of rambling "obstructed" the free time of the people who had to listen to him ramble. Basically a slap on the wrist for not shutting up and knowing his place.

Thats the only thing on his record. The rest of the charges were decided to be based on hearsay that was either contrdtictory, not reliable or not trustworthy enough. They trumped up the single rambling charge to "obstruction of justice" because they needed to have -some- sort of result for their bazillions of dollars of investigation that came up with absolutely nothing credible.

So, he may not be inducted into the "focused, yes/no answers please" hall of fame. But as far as anything baseball or steroids related,
 
2012-06-18 08:39:02 PM  
Good use of tax payers money, asshats.
/fark congress
 
2012-06-18 08:42:52 PM  

Trance750: Good. Now perhaps Congress can finally turn their attention to pulling America from the toilet


Farking priorities, how do they work?
 
2012-06-18 08:44:02 PM  
Not a single Simpsons screenshot?

Not one?

/sad
/no one probably remembers
/ Homer and marge were still single in the '90's... right?
 
2012-06-18 08:52:02 PM  
He's as guilty as Clinton, right?

How about Rumsfeld, Powell, Feith, Grossman, Cheney, Rove....et al.

I'm willing to trade Holder for Grossman. let's start getting real here, no?

That's right, gun walking for Nuclear proliferation. Straight up

Link
 
2012-06-18 08:52:08 PM  
It's a true sign of what a bunch of old, out of touch asshats Congress is made up of that they think a significant number of people below the age of 80 outside of a handful of cities in the NE still care about baseball, let alone Roger Clemens.
 
2012-06-18 08:55:41 PM  

italie: SO tell me TF'ers, how long has it been since an original meme crossed the queue?


How many have you submitted?
 
2012-06-18 08:56:44 PM  

italie: SO tell me TF'ers, how long has it been since an original meme crossed the queue?


Today?

;)
 
2012-06-18 09:08:42 PM  

RickyWilliams'sBong: It's a true sign of what a bunch of old, out of touch asshats Congress is made up of that they think a significant number of people below the age of 80 outside of a handful of cities in the NE still care about baseball, let alone Roger Clemens.


Is there really a much more enjoyable way to spend a nice summer evening than sitting outdoors at a MLB ballpark, and enjoying a game, or a lazy Sunday afternoon at the game.
 
2012-06-18 09:24:25 PM  

Harry_Seldon: RickyWilliams'sBong: It's a true sign of what a bunch of old, out of touch asshats Congress is made up of that they think a significant number of people below the age of 80 outside of a handful of cities in the NE still care about baseball, let alone Roger Clemens.

Is there really a much more enjoyable way to spend a nice summer evening than sitting outdoors at a MLB ballpark, and enjoying a game, or a lazy Sunday afternoon at the game.


If you can afford it...
 
2012-06-18 09:29:21 PM  

UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: Do you want to know why steroids are cheating?

Picture this: You are 23 years old. You're a damned good baseball player, if you were ranked, maybe you'd be number 1,000 in the entire world. You're a AAA minor-league third-baseman, and you're in a good spot. The organization you play for has an aging third-baseman, that you're the equal of in every way, except he's making millions, and you have a winter job, and live at your parents' house in the off-season. He's 36, and it is your turn. You've rode buses, and slept two to a bed, and showered in rusty water, and you've pissed in a bottle to prove you're clean, and you've paid your dues. Now, it's your turn to go to The Show.

But in Spring training, that 36 year-old guy is just killing the ball. He's moving like he's 23, diving for balls he couldn't reach last September. He's no longer got warning-track power, people now pay attention when he's in the batting cage. He's got his swagger and ego back, and it shows. So instead of sending him down at the end of Spring training, you have to go back to AAA ball, while he gets a new bigger contract, which further cements him into the job that's rightfully yours. And because he's a major leaguer, he doesn't have to test for the very thing that has given him new abilities, extended his baseball lifetime.

Now imagine that this has gone on for four years. He's now 40, and has made himself a tidy pile of dough while stealing your glory, your headlines, and most importantly, your MONEY. Now, you're 28 and your best years are behind you. Your parents still love you, but they don't brag about you nearly as much. You think "maybe this year", but there's a new 23 year-old phenom third-baseman in the system, who is maybe just as good as you, but he's only 23. Guess who your organization is going to keep.

THIS is why steroids are cheating. This scenario has played out hundreds of times in the steroid era.

/it's worse than cheating
//it is stealing


Melodrama much? Christ. The world isn't fair, you aren't special, and Santa Claus is a big farking lie.
 
2012-06-18 09:32:06 PM  

Tanthalas39: Melodrama much? Christ. The world isn't fair, you aren't special, and Santa Claus is a big farking lie.


This didn't happen to me, dumbass. I play FIRST-base.
 
2012-06-18 09:34:40 PM  

The Jami Turman Fan Club: the biggest redneck here: The Jami Turman Fan Club: He wasn't guilty. Using steroids isn't illegal.

Can we get our money back from this crap? These stupid prosecutions cost millions.

Lying under oath is, and that's what he was charged with.

Yeah, we've heard that horsecrap before. Sleeping with somebody is illegal, lying about sleeping with someone is an impeachment offence. Didn't work then either.

Steroids are generally legal. Most are prescription, the others are legal over the counter, such as Preparation H (Hydrocortisone). They're not banned.

The doctor or trainer could be in trouble, though.


You dum.
 
2012-06-18 09:41:08 PM  

Indubitably: Harry_Seldon: RickyWilliams'sBong: It's a true sign of what a bunch of old, out of touch asshats Congress is made up of that they think a significant number of people below the age of 80 outside of a handful of cities in the NE still care about baseball, let alone Roger Clemens.

Is there really a much more enjoyable way to spend a nice summer evening than sitting outdoors at a MLB ballpark, and enjoying a game, or a lazy Sunday afternoon at the game.

If you can afford it...


I can get tickets to Friday's Rangers game for $8 a pop. If I sit where I REALLY wanna sit, they're $38. I worry more about the game being sold out than the price.


UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: This didn't happen to me, dumbass. I play FIRST-base.


I'd let you at LEAST get to second base.
 
2012-06-18 09:41:23 PM  
Well, this case felt all OJ-ey for a while now, so no big shocker.

He's still probably not welcome anywhere in Boston. Kinda wish they'd give 21 out to someone just to piss him off.
 
2012-06-18 09:49:21 PM  

PsyLord: underage


I'd rather he be investigated for that, not lying to Congress. Congress lies to us all the time, so them charging someone with lying to them is a joke.
 
2012-06-18 09:53:30 PM  

9beers: What bullshiat, dude was juicing and everybody knows it. More proof that the jury system needs to be abolished.


He wasn't on trial for juicing, he was on trial for saying he wasn't juicing when he was. It's pretty clear to most sane people that the guy did PEDs and they helped his career.
 
2012-06-18 09:58:50 PM  
Meanwhile, Randy Johnson and Greg Maddux are seen tag-teaming Pedro Martinez in the best pitcher of this generation Royal Rumble.
 
2012-06-18 10:27:48 PM  

Tanthalas39: THIS is why steroids are cheating. This scenario has played out hundreds of times in the steroid era.

/it's worse than cheating
//it is stealing

Melodrama much? Christ. The world isn't fair, you aren't special, and Santa Claus is a big farking lie.



YEAH. If the younger athletes don't wanna man up and take their testicular cancer injections, those pussies don't deserve to make it to the Big Leagues.
 
2012-06-18 10:38:26 PM  

mikaloyd: jaybeezey: I want to see the dollar total on this waste of time and beat it out of every congressman that pushed for this stupid investigation to begin with.

Reported to congress


I hope so.

I hope every one of the farktards who wasted our time and money on this pointless spectacle are aware of how angry the electorate really is, and it makes them walk a little faster to their cars after a late night congressin' because they worry that one of us is going to come up behind them and explain our dissatisfaction...with an aluminum bat.

/Not suggesting violence, just saying.

//But violence does make the point soooo well.
 
2012-06-18 10:45:57 PM  

Di Atribe: I'd let you at LEAST get to second base.


"PLAY BALL!"

We could do that whole MeatLoaf song! :)
 
2012-06-18 10:49:05 PM  

busy chillin': So I guess the Government

*puts on sunglasses*

struck out

/gotta be a better one than this but IDGAF to try anymore


Looks like the defense team **sunglasses** hit a home run

YEEEAAAHHhhhhhh
 
2012-06-18 10:56:14 PM  

red5ish: Representative of the unwashed masses: Soooo, not black?

[img685.imageshack.us image 320x180]
Amazing!


Huh... No Bones about it!!
 
2012-06-18 11:14:07 PM  

Tanthalas39: UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: (...snip)

THIS is why steroids are cheating. This scenario has played out hundreds of times in the steroid era.

/it's worse than cheating
//it is stealing

Melodrama much? Christ. The world isn't fair, you aren't special, and Santa Claus is a big farking lie..


You bastard. You cold-hearted, lying bastard.

/You cut me, Shrek.
//Cut me deep.
 
2012-06-18 11:21:14 PM  
Guess what Roger...

I'm on the, S.S I Don't Give a Shiat...

i1045.photobucket.com

"Suck it, d-bag".

/I was at Fenway for your 20 SO game
//Ur still a fat, juice-head coont
 
2012-06-18 11:56:15 PM  

UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: We could do that whole MeatLoaf song! :)


Well I'll sleep on it


KyDave: Looks like the defense team **sunglasses** hit a home run

YEEEAAAHHhhhhhh


KyDave: /You cut me, Shrek.
//Cut me deep.


Please never stop. Thank you.
 
2012-06-19 12:02:54 AM  

UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: Do you want to know why steroids are cheating?

Picture this: You are 23 years old. You're a damned good baseball player, if you were ranked, maybe you'd be number 1,000 in the entire world. You're a AAA minor-league third-baseman, and you're in a good spot. The organization you play for has an aging third-baseman, that you're the equal of in every way, except he's making millions, and you have a winter job, and live at your parents' house in the off-season. He's 36, and it is your turn. You've rode buses, and slept two to a bed, and showered in rusty water, and you've pissed in a bottle to prove you're clean, and you've paid your dues. Now, it's your turn to go to The Show.

But in Spring training, that 36 year-old guy is just killing the ball. He's moving like he's 23, diving for balls he couldn't reach last September. He's no longer got warning-track power, people now pay attention when he's in the batting cage. He's got his swagger and ego back, and it shows. So instead of sending him down at the end of Spring training, you have to go back to AAA ball, while he gets a new bigger contract, which further cements him into the job that's rightfully yours. And because he's a major leaguer, he doesn't have to test for the very thing that has given him new abilities, extended his baseball lifetime.

Now imagine that this has gone on for four years. He's now 40, and has made himself a tidy pile of dough while stealing your glory, your headlines, and most importantly, your MONEY. Now, you're 28 and your best years are behind you. Your parents still love you, but they don't brag about you nearly as much. You think "maybe this year", but there's a new 23 year-old phenom third-baseman in the system, who is maybe just as good as you, but he's only 23. Guess who your organization is going to keep.

THIS is why steroids are cheating. This scenario has played out hundreds of times in the steroid era.

/it's worse than cheating
//it is stealing


cdn.hotstockmarket.com
 
2012-06-19 12:27:29 AM  
good headline.
 
2012-06-19 12:35:29 AM  
Actually, wombatsrus, I am serious. Minor leaguers were tested for steroids long before major leaguers were, and the inability to have a level playing field cost many players a chance at being major leaguers. There were many good players you never got to see at a major league level, because there was someone willing to cheat to stay a major leaguer beyond his natural career path. It sounds trivial, but it cost some worthy players, who spent thousands of hours honing their skills, millions of dollars in potential income, and was a perversion of the rules of fair play. It wasn't fair, it wasn't decent, but it WAS sanctioned by MLB.

If my fr'instance seemed melodramatic, it's closer to the truth than any line Major League Baseball has spun.
 
2012-06-19 12:36:14 AM  

UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: Do you want to know why steroids are cheating?

Picture this: You are 23 years old. You're a damned good baseball player, if you were ranked, maybe you'd be number 1,000 in the entire world. You're a AAA minor-league third-baseman, and you're in a good spot. The organization you play for has an aging third-baseman, that you're the equal of in every way, except he's making millions, and you have a winter job, and live at your parents' house in the off-season. He's 36, and it is your turn. You've rode buses, and slept two to a bed, and showered in rusty water, and you've pissed in a bottle to prove you're clean, and you've paid your dues. Now, it's your turn to go to The Show.

But in Spring training, that 36 year-old guy is just killing the ball. He's moving like he's 23, diving for balls he couldn't reach last September. He's no longer got warning-track power, people now pay attention when he's in the batting cage. He's got his swagger and ego back, and it shows. So instead of sending him down at the end of Spring training, you have to go back to AAA ball, while he gets a new bigger contract, which further cements him into the job that's rightfully yours. And because he's a major leaguer, he doesn't have to test for the very thing that has given him new abilities, extended his baseball lifetime.

Now imagine that this has gone on for four years. He's now 40, and has made himself a tidy pile of dough while stealing your glory, your headlines, and most importantly, your MONEY. Now, you're 28 and your best years are behind you. Your parents still love you, but they don't brag about you nearly as much. You think "maybe this year", but there's a new 23 year-old phenom third-baseman in the system, who is maybe just as good as you, but he's only 23. Guess who your organization is going to keep.

THIS is why steroids are cheating. This scenario has played out hundreds of times in the steroid era.

/it's worse than cheating
//it is stealing


For the sake of brevity: steroids are cheating because they allow mediocre players to become good players, and good players to extend their careers five or more years beyond what was pretty much the cliff (37-38 years for field position players) for MLB players up until the 90s, and by proxy this cheats athletes out of an opportunity that may make (or break) a career. Yes, there were a very few exceptions (Hank Aaron being one... who had a .300/40 HR season at age 39, though he quickly fell off from there), but most players are a shell of their former selves in their late 30s.
 
2012-06-19 12:38:35 AM  

astouffer: Still can't believe congress had a farking hearing about this issue. Steroid use in baseball was the most dire problem at the time?


Oh don't worry, at some point in the near future they'll be having hearings and hyping things no one cares about. And they'll spend a shiatload of cash doing it.
 
2012-06-19 12:39:29 AM  
Now, it didn't cost many 24 year old good prospects their jobs (realistically, if you're 24 and hit like a Major League vet, you're almost guaranteed to be called up or traded for value to a team that will call you up), but it cost many mid/late 20s guys who otherwise may not have had a shot from their short-lived MLB opportunities. Guys who may have sat on the bench, but a few guys who may have made an impact to some small, but measurable, degree.
 
2012-06-19 12:42:23 AM  

JohnBigBootay: Oh and admitting he had the guy inject HIS WIFE with hgh but not actually using it himself.


This was my first thought today when the verdict came down.

I've decided to nominate Roger Clemens for Husband Of The Year
 
2012-06-19 12:42:52 AM  

puffy999: For the sake of brevity: steroids are cheating because they allow mediocre players to become good players, and good players to extend their careers five or more years beyond what was pretty much the cliff (37-38 years for field position players) for MLB players up until the 90s, and by proxy this cheats athletes out of an opportunity that may make (or break) a career. Yes, there were a very few exceptions (Hank Aaron being one... who had a .300/40 HR season at age 39, though he quickly fell off from there), but most players are a shell of their former selves in their late 30s.


Thank you, you said it better than I could. This is why I have you favorited in a color that makes me pay attention to your thoughts.

/I'd have made my post shorter, but I didn't have time
 
2012-06-19 12:48:49 AM  

UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: This is why I have you favorited in a color that makes me pay attention to your thoughts.


Well, that or the trolling.
 
2012-06-19 12:56:52 AM  

puffy999: UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: This is why I have you favorited in a color that makes me pay attention to your thoughts.

Well, that or the trolling.


LOL, intelligent trolling doesn't bother me, sometimes idjuts need their nose tweaked. Sometimes it's my nose that needs it.

/keep doin' what yer doin'
 
2012-06-19 01:01:54 AM  
Oblig.

assets.sbnation.com

/hot hot hot
 
2012-06-19 01:11:21 AM  
this means he is innocent. he will go into the hall of fame as a red sox
 
2012-06-19 01:13:07 AM  

What_Would_Jimi_Do: this means he is innocent. he will go into the hall of fame as a red sox


I bet if the trial was 100% exactly the same, but the defendant was black, he would have been found guilty.
 
2012-06-19 01:47:15 AM  

eggrolls: mikaloyd: jaybeezey: I want to see the dollar total on this waste of time and beat it out of every congressman that pushed for this stupid investigation to begin with.

Reported to congress

I hope so.


eggrolls: mikaloyd: jaybeezey: I want to see the dollar total on this waste of time and beat it out of every congressman that pushed for this stupid investigation to begin with.

Reported to congress

I hope so.

I hope every one of the farktards who wasted our time and money on this pointless spectacle are aware of how angry the electorate really is, and it makes them walk a little faster to their cars after a late night congressin' because they worry that one of us is going to come up behind them and explain our dissatisfaction...with an aluminum bat.

/Not suggesting violence, just saying.

//But violence does make the point soooo well.

Really?
Be careful what you wish for
 
2012-06-19 01:50:53 AM  

What_Would_Jimi_Do: this means he is innocent. he will go into the hall of fame as a red sox


He still has to get voted in by the sports writers who have made it clear that they wouldn't voted in anybody accused of juicing.
 
2012-06-19 01:51:08 AM  

Di Atribe: UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: We could do that whole MeatLoaf song! :)


I gotta know right now!
 
2012-06-19 01:53:02 AM  

Di Atribe: Well I'll sleep on it


Where did this line go from my previous post?
 
2012-06-19 01:55:13 AM  

UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: Di Atribe: Well I'll sleep on it

Where did this line go from my previous post?


You dont happen to be in the cats meow in NOLA right now do you?
 
2012-06-19 01:56:22 AM  

ongbok: What_Would_Jimi_Do: this means he is innocent. he will go into the hall of fame as a red sox

He still has to get voted in by the sports writers who have made it clear that they wouldn't voted in anybody accused of juicing.


Yes, but unlike everyone else involved, he was found "not guilty" by a jury of his peers. This was no jury nullification like the OJ trial where it was pretty clear OJ was guilty of the worst crime imaginable.

The US DoJ brought out the big guns on this, and lost. I think he gets the benefit of the doubt on this because all the forms were followed.
 
2012-06-19 01:57:40 AM  

Di Atribe: UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: We could do that whole MeatLoaf song! :)
Well I'll sleep on it

KyDave: Looks like the defense team **sunglasses** hit a home run
YEEEAAAHHhhhhhh

KyDave: /You cut me, Shrek.
//Cut me deep.

Please never stop. Thank you.


One does what one can. :)

UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: puffy999: (snip)
/I'd have made my post shorter, but I didn't have time


Clever, what you did there. Made me chuckle.
 
2012-06-19 02:02:52 AM  

mikaloyd: UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: Di Atribe: Well I'll sleep on it

Where did this line go from my previous post?

You dont happen to be in the cats meow in NOLA right now do you?


LOL, no. I had to go ask my niece (a NOLA native) just what the Cat's Meow was. Are they karaoke-ing that song now?

/you don't wanna hear me sing it
//YOU'LL be prayin' for the end of time
 
2012-06-19 02:06:19 AM  

UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: mikaloyd: UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: Di Atribe: Well I'll sleep on it

Where did this line go from my previous post?

You dont happen to be in the cats meow in NOLA right now do you?

LOL, no. I had to go ask my niece (a NOLA native) just what the Cat's Meow was. Are they karaoke-ing that song now?

/you don't wanna hear me sing it
//YOU'LL be prayin' for the end of time


I get knocked down but I get up again

Link
 
2012-06-19 02:06:26 AM  

KyDave: UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: puffy999: (snip)
/I'd have made my post shorter, but I didn't have time

Clever, what you did there. Made me chuckle.


That was paraphrased from a letter George Washington sent to someone. He apologized for the long letter, but claimed he didn't have time to shorten it. I liked it too. :)

/who knew he had a sense of humor (humour?)
 
2012-06-19 02:09:28 AM  
OO baby harry yam sine seal de-livered
 
2012-06-19 02:10:47 AM  

mikaloyd: I get knocked down but I get up again


The guy with the two plaid prints is pretty damn good.

/I get knocked up, but I get down again
//signed, sealed, delivered, I'm a dead letter
 
2012-06-19 02:15:59 AM  
You got to fight for your right
 
2012-06-19 07:29:59 AM  
Once again the obsession with sports in this country trumps all else.
 
2012-06-19 08:57:05 AM  

DoctorRock: Harry_Seldon: I bet if the trial was 100% exactly the same, but the defendant was black, he would have been found guilty.

you are farking idiot


Right. *inserts tongue firmly in cheek* Because there is absolutely no precedence of exactly that kind of unfairness in the history of American jurisprudence. *removes tongue, inserts finger*

*pop*

/YOU are farking idiot
//AND willfully blind
 
2012-06-19 09:36:14 AM  

italie: SO tell me TF'ers, how long has it been since an original meme crossed the queue?


I'm not even sure if this qualifies as a Fark meme. Isn't the only other "guilty of douchebaggery" headline the Edwards mistrial one?

It Really Grinds My Gears(TM) because it's just lazy headline writing (read plagiarizing).

I've seen a few of these stolen jokes lately and I'm not sure if it's the modmins trying to birth a meme or if it's just a fluke.
 
2012-06-19 09:38:44 AM  

PsyLord: Didn't he have an affair with Mindy McCreedy when she was underage?

/not sure if he admitted it
/forgot the details


Mindy Macready is still under-aged I think. She has mean knife skills...
upload.wikimedia.org
 
2012-06-19 09:52:38 AM  
Why do we continue the charade?
1. Let the players take steroids, hit 100 home runs a season
2. let football players smash each others heads in if they want
3. The same for hockey...don't want a concussion, don't play
4. Basketball--don't call traveling, give star players special treatment, have referrees fix games...oh, wait...

Sports: the shared delusion that something important is actually happening.
 
2012-06-19 10:12:37 AM  

randomjsa: Once again the obsession with sports in this country trumps all else.


And when you and I agree that something is bullshiat, the chances are it's probably bullshiat. That this matter ever came before Congress is a f**king embarrassment.
 
2012-06-19 10:31:04 AM  
All you idiots biatching about "spending tax dollars" on this do realize that prosecutors and judges aren't paid hourly right? And that they'll collect their salary regardless of whether they're in a courtroom prosecuting baseball players or tax cheats... right?
 
2012-06-19 10:39:24 AM  

srhp29: This does not mean I believe Clemens. I have though Clemens was a juicer long before he was actually outed as one.

All those extra long off seasons to juice up while not under contract and out of risk of testing.

I still think this was a waste of time and money, but it seems the Justice Department is very good at wasting both of those things.


Interesting point. Could that have been what Favre was up to when he "retired"?
 
2012-06-19 10:48:52 AM  

rickythepenguin: skrame: /still on the fence about steroids, as long as they weren't against the rules of baseball at the time of use.


fay vincent added steroids to the banned list via a 1991 memo to all teams.

Vincent was the first Commissioner to expressly include anabolic steroids among the substances prohibited under baseball's drug policy, which he did in the June 1991 version of the memorandum.130 Steroids were added to the drug policy at that time, apparently as a result of the enactment of the Anabolic Steroids Control Act of 1990. Under that statute, anabolic steroids had been reclassified as Schedule III controlled substances, and the illegal use of them became subject to substantially increased criminal penalties.131

Keep in mind, that aside from vincent adding steroids to the naughty list, as Schedule III substances, use/possession of steroids without a prescription was illegal under federal law. so the "welp, steroids weren't illegal!" argument is a double fail.

the problem was, the MLBPA and the owner's colluded to bar adoption of a testing regime. so a rule existed, but there was no way to enforce / check it.

but the notion of "ZOMG MLB never banned steroids until 2006!"* is patently, willingly, "i'm going to stick my head in the sand and ignore the truth" false.


*or 2005. whenever they adopted testing after Congress threatened to take back the antitrust exemption and Bud Selig et al had no choice


Thanks for the info. I watch some baseball, but not to the point that I know when different rules were introduced. If the steroids were banned and players were caught with them, I'm all for punishment including a ban from the HOF.

That said, I'm against going back and trying to prove steroid use in a court of law (or in front of congress). Testing should be done during the time of play; if a person was able to hide it, so be it.

/applies to Armstrong as well.
 
2012-06-19 11:20:00 AM  

skrame: Thanks for the info. I watch some baseball, but not to the point that I know when different rules were introduced. If the steroids were banned and players were caught with them, I'm all for punishment including a ban from the HOF.



that is just one thing that always annoys the hell out of me (the, "well, MLB never banned steroids until 2006!") argument. it is in the mitchell report, in case you didn't check the link. it isn't "gee, i think that something happened but i can't source it...." it's in the freaking mitchell report.

and yet established sportswriters still, from time to time, make that claim. i've argued this point on-air with sports talk radio folks. if you are in sports journalism and make that claim, you're either incompetent or willfully deceiving your audience (and yourself).
 
2012-06-19 11:28:19 AM  

rickythepenguin: hat is just one thing that always annoys the hell out of me (the, "well, MLB never banned steroids until 2006!") argument. it is in the mitchell report, in case you didn't check the link. it isn't "gee, i think that something happened but i can't source it...." it's in the freaking mitchell report.



and also i'm not yelling at you....i'm yelling at the claim reposnsible journalists make in defending the steroid era.
 
2012-06-19 01:56:35 PM  

DoctorRock: UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: /YOU are farking idiot
//AND willfully blind


racism everywhere! all the time! for everything!


Yeah, I know. Pretty much. Not like when I was a kid. And it gets better every day. But it's still there. Ask yourself "Would I rather be black or white in America? Barry Bonds or Roger Clemens?" Link
 
2012-06-19 02:41:44 PM  

DoctorRock: UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: Yeah, I know. Pretty much. Not like when I was a kid. And it gets better every day. But it's still there. Ask yourself "Would I rather be black or white in America? Barry Bonds or Roger Clemens?" Link

ask yourself "would i rather be rich or poor?"


I have now lost the thread of this conversation.

Would you rather be big or green?
 
2012-06-19 02:44:03 PM  
Fark the Hall of Fame balloting. Fark the players and fark MLB for looking the other way after the 94 strike.
Im from Philly, and I loved the 93 run as much as anyone, but for someone who worked at the Vet every event from 87-94 I can tell you that Juice was rampant with the whole 93 team. Lance Parrish got Daulton hooked after his knew injury in the 80's, and Pete Incaviglia brought up what he knew from Houston to basically hook the whole team. You had a bunch of guys who almost all had career years, and it had everything to do with juice. All was ok until people started toppling records.

None of these dudes should get in.
 
2012-06-19 02:49:41 PM  

torr5962: None of these dudes should get in.


Diogenes would have shook your hand. And as an Oakland A's fan (one of the main causes of this entire fiasco), I wish I had your honesty. You have my undying respect.
 
2012-06-19 05:21:12 PM  

DoctorRock: and let me change "youre a farking idiot" to "i disagree with you".


Me too.
 
2012-06-20 12:32:56 AM  

UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: DoctorRock: and let me change "youre a farking idiot" to "i disagree with you".

Me too.


Now I/m really confused... ... ... you disagree with yourself?!? What the Fark?

/levity.
//Carry on.
 
2012-06-20 01:48:58 AM  
Still guilty of destroying Wonder Bat.

/cluck cluck
 
2012-06-20 04:17:22 AM  

KyDave: UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: DoctorRock: and let me change "youre a farking idiot" to "i disagree with you".

Me too.

Now I/m really confused... ... ... you disagree with yourself?!? What the Fark?

/levity.
//Carry on.


You're confused? My dogs' barking just woke me up, it's the middle of the night, I got heartburn so bad I could cry, and my poor abused brain is trying to figure out why Roger Clinton was even on trial...

/sellin' indians to the firewater, what?
 
2012-06-21 12:24:30 AM  

UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: KyDave: UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: DoctorRock: and let me change "youre a farking idiot" to "i disagree with you".
Me too.
Now I/m really confused... ... ... you disagree with yourself?!? What the Fark?
/levity.
//Carry on.

You're confused? My dogs' barking just woke me up, it's the middle of the night, I got heartburn so bad I could cry, and my poor abused brain is trying to figure out why Roger Clinton was even on trial...

/sellin' indians to the firewater, what?


Senior or Junior??

/ Stealin' when I should have been buyin'
// Not really related to the thread, just kept running through my head.
/// You know how it is
//// Prolly triggered by your slashie.

\\\ Whoever they are, they do a great cover: Pops
 
2012-06-21 01:03:13 AM  

KyDave: \\\ Whoever they are, they do a great cover: Pops


I'm checkin' it out even as we speak! Great song. I've got some old Uriah Heep vinyl around here somewhere...
 
2012-06-21 12:51:10 PM  
This is GREAT.
Now he's exactly like Lance Armstrong. Just keeeeeep denying.
No proof.
 
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