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(CNN) NewsFlash Roger Clemens is guilty of being a pompous douchebag, but that's it   (news.blogs.cnn.com) divider line 212
    More: NewsFlash, George Zimmerman, Roger Clemens  
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11560 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Jun 2012 at 4:58 PM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»


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2012-06-18 09:34:40 PM
The Jami Turman Fan Club: the biggest redneck here: The Jami Turman Fan Club: He wasn't guilty. Using steroids isn't illegal.

Can we get our money back from this crap? These stupid prosecutions cost millions.

Lying under oath is, and that's what he was charged with.

Yeah, we've heard that horsecrap before. Sleeping with somebody is illegal, lying about sleeping with someone is an impeachment offence. Didn't work then either.

Steroids are generally legal. Most are prescription, the others are legal over the counter, such as Preparation H (Hydrocortisone). They're not banned.

The doctor or trainer could be in trouble, though.


You dum.
 
2012-06-18 09:41:08 PM
Indubitably: Harry_Seldon: RickyWilliams'sBong: It's a true sign of what a bunch of old, out of touch asshats Congress is made up of that they think a significant number of people below the age of 80 outside of a handful of cities in the NE still care about baseball, let alone Roger Clemens.

Is there really a much more enjoyable way to spend a nice summer evening than sitting outdoors at a MLB ballpark, and enjoying a game, or a lazy Sunday afternoon at the game.

If you can afford it...


I can get tickets to Friday's Rangers game for $8 a pop. If I sit where I REALLY wanna sit, they're $38. I worry more about the game being sold out than the price.


UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: This didn't happen to me, dumbass. I play FIRST-base.

I'd let you at LEAST get to second base.
 
2012-06-18 09:41:23 PM
Well, this case felt all OJ-ey for a while now, so no big shocker.

He's still probably not welcome anywhere in Boston. Kinda wish they'd give 21 out to someone just to piss him off.
 
2012-06-18 09:49:21 PM
PsyLord: underage

I'd rather he be investigated for that, not lying to Congress. Congress lies to us all the time, so them charging someone with lying to them is a joke.
 
2012-06-18 09:53:30 PM
9beers: What bullshiat, dude was juicing and everybody knows it. More proof that the jury system needs to be abolished.

He wasn't on trial for juicing, he was on trial for saying he wasn't juicing when he was. It's pretty clear to most sane people that the guy did PEDs and they helped his career.
 
2012-06-18 09:58:50 PM
Meanwhile, Randy Johnson and Greg Maddux are seen tag-teaming Pedro Martinez in the best pitcher of this generation Royal Rumble.
 
2012-06-18 10:27:48 PM
Tanthalas39: THIS is why steroids are cheating. This scenario has played out hundreds of times in the steroid era.

/it's worse than cheating
//it is stealing

Melodrama much? Christ. The world isn't fair, you aren't special, and Santa Claus is a big farking lie.



YEAH. If the younger athletes don't wanna man up and take their testicular cancer injections, those pussies don't deserve to make it to the Big Leagues.
 
2012-06-18 10:38:26 PM
mikaloyd: jaybeezey: I want to see the dollar total on this waste of time and beat it out of every congressman that pushed for this stupid investigation to begin with.

Reported to congress


I hope so.

I hope every one of the farktards who wasted our time and money on this pointless spectacle are aware of how angry the electorate really is, and it makes them walk a little faster to their cars after a late night congressin' because they worry that one of us is going to come up behind them and explain our dissatisfaction...with an aluminum bat.

/Not suggesting violence, just saying.

//But violence does make the point soooo well.
 
2012-06-18 10:45:57 PM
Di Atribe: I'd let you at LEAST get to second base.

"PLAY BALL!"

We could do that whole MeatLoaf song! :)
 
2012-06-18 10:49:05 PM
busy chillin': So I guess the Government

*puts on sunglasses*

struck out

/gotta be a better one than this but IDGAF to try anymore


Looks like the defense team **sunglasses** hit a home run

YEEEAAAHHhhhhhh
 
2012-06-18 10:56:14 PM
red5ish: Representative of the unwashed masses: Soooo, not black?

[img685.imageshack.us image 320x180]
Amazing!


Huh... No Bones about it!!
 
2012-06-18 11:14:07 PM
Tanthalas39: UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: (...snip)

THIS is why steroids are cheating. This scenario has played out hundreds of times in the steroid era.

/it's worse than cheating
//it is stealing

Melodrama much? Christ. The world isn't fair, you aren't special, and Santa Claus is a big farking lie..


You bastard. You cold-hearted, lying bastard.

/You cut me, Shrek.
//Cut me deep.
 
2012-06-18 11:21:14 PM
Guess what Roger...

I'm on the, S.S I Don't Give a Shiat...

i1045.photobucket.com

"Suck it, d-bag".

/I was at Fenway for your 20 SO game
//Ur still a fat, juice-head coont
 
2012-06-18 11:56:15 PM
UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: We could do that whole MeatLoaf song! :)

Well I'll sleep on it


KyDave: Looks like the defense team **sunglasses** hit a home run

YEEEAAAHHhhhhhh


KyDave: /You cut me, Shrek.
//Cut me deep.


Please never stop. Thank you.
 
2012-06-19 12:02:54 AM
UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: Do you want to know why steroids are cheating?

Picture this: You are 23 years old. You're a damned good baseball player, if you were ranked, maybe you'd be number 1,000 in the entire world. You're a AAA minor-league third-baseman, and you're in a good spot. The organization you play for has an aging third-baseman, that you're the equal of in every way, except he's making millions, and you have a winter job, and live at your parents' house in the off-season. He's 36, and it is your turn. You've rode buses, and slept two to a bed, and showered in rusty water, and you've pissed in a bottle to prove you're clean, and you've paid your dues. Now, it's your turn to go to The Show.

But in Spring training, that 36 year-old guy is just killing the ball. He's moving like he's 23, diving for balls he couldn't reach last September. He's no longer got warning-track power, people now pay attention when he's in the batting cage. He's got his swagger and ego back, and it shows. So instead of sending him down at the end of Spring training, you have to go back to AAA ball, while he gets a new bigger contract, which further cements him into the job that's rightfully yours. And because he's a major leaguer, he doesn't have to test for the very thing that has given him new abilities, extended his baseball lifetime.

Now imagine that this has gone on for four years. He's now 40, and has made himself a tidy pile of dough while stealing your glory, your headlines, and most importantly, your MONEY. Now, you're 28 and your best years are behind you. Your parents still love you, but they don't brag about you nearly as much. You think "maybe this year", but there's a new 23 year-old phenom third-baseman in the system, who is maybe just as good as you, but he's only 23. Guess who your organization is going to keep.

THIS is why steroids are cheating. This scenario has played out hundreds of times in the steroid era.

/it's worse than cheating
//it is stealing


cdn.hotstockmarket.com
 
2012-06-19 12:27:29 AM
good headline.
 
2012-06-19 12:35:29 AM
Actually, wombatsrus, I am serious. Minor leaguers were tested for steroids long before major leaguers were, and the inability to have a level playing field cost many players a chance at being major leaguers. There were many good players you never got to see at a major league level, because there was someone willing to cheat to stay a major leaguer beyond his natural career path. It sounds trivial, but it cost some worthy players, who spent thousands of hours honing their skills, millions of dollars in potential income, and was a perversion of the rules of fair play. It wasn't fair, it wasn't decent, but it WAS sanctioned by MLB.

If my fr'instance seemed melodramatic, it's closer to the truth than any line Major League Baseball has spun.
 
2012-06-19 12:36:14 AM
UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: Do you want to know why steroids are cheating?

Picture this: You are 23 years old. You're a damned good baseball player, if you were ranked, maybe you'd be number 1,000 in the entire world. You're a AAA minor-league third-baseman, and you're in a good spot. The organization you play for has an aging third-baseman, that you're the equal of in every way, except he's making millions, and you have a winter job, and live at your parents' house in the off-season. He's 36, and it is your turn. You've rode buses, and slept two to a bed, and showered in rusty water, and you've pissed in a bottle to prove you're clean, and you've paid your dues. Now, it's your turn to go to The Show.

But in Spring training, that 36 year-old guy is just killing the ball. He's moving like he's 23, diving for balls he couldn't reach last September. He's no longer got warning-track power, people now pay attention when he's in the batting cage. He's got his swagger and ego back, and it shows. So instead of sending him down at the end of Spring training, you have to go back to AAA ball, while he gets a new bigger contract, which further cements him into the job that's rightfully yours. And because he's a major leaguer, he doesn't have to test for the very thing that has given him new abilities, extended his baseball lifetime.

Now imagine that this has gone on for four years. He's now 40, and has made himself a tidy pile of dough while stealing your glory, your headlines, and most importantly, your MONEY. Now, you're 28 and your best years are behind you. Your parents still love you, but they don't brag about you nearly as much. You think "maybe this year", but there's a new 23 year-old phenom third-baseman in the system, who is maybe just as good as you, but he's only 23. Guess who your organization is going to keep.

THIS is why steroids are cheating. This scenario has played out hundreds of times in the steroid era.

/it's worse than cheating
//it is stealing


For the sake of brevity: steroids are cheating because they allow mediocre players to become good players, and good players to extend their careers five or more years beyond what was pretty much the cliff (37-38 years for field position players) for MLB players up until the 90s, and by proxy this cheats athletes out of an opportunity that may make (or break) a career. Yes, there were a very few exceptions (Hank Aaron being one... who had a .300/40 HR season at age 39, though he quickly fell off from there), but most players are a shell of their former selves in their late 30s.
 
2012-06-19 12:38:35 AM
astouffer: Still can't believe congress had a farking hearing about this issue. Steroid use in baseball was the most dire problem at the time?

Oh don't worry, at some point in the near future they'll be having hearings and hyping things no one cares about. And they'll spend a shiatload of cash doing it.
 
2012-06-19 12:39:29 AM
Now, it didn't cost many 24 year old good prospects their jobs (realistically, if you're 24 and hit like a Major League vet, you're almost guaranteed to be called up or traded for value to a team that will call you up), but it cost many mid/late 20s guys who otherwise may not have had a shot from their short-lived MLB opportunities. Guys who may have sat on the bench, but a few guys who may have made an impact to some small, but measurable, degree.
 
2012-06-19 12:42:23 AM
JohnBigBootay: Oh and admitting he had the guy inject HIS WIFE with hgh but not actually using it himself.

This was my first thought today when the verdict came down.

I've decided to nominate Roger Clemens for Husband Of The Year
 
2012-06-19 12:42:52 AM
puffy999: For the sake of brevity: steroids are cheating because they allow mediocre players to become good players, and good players to extend their careers five or more years beyond what was pretty much the cliff (37-38 years for field position players) for MLB players up until the 90s, and by proxy this cheats athletes out of an opportunity that may make (or break) a career. Yes, there were a very few exceptions (Hank Aaron being one... who had a .300/40 HR season at age 39, though he quickly fell off from there), but most players are a shell of their former selves in their late 30s.

Thank you, you said it better than I could. This is why I have you favorited in a color that makes me pay attention to your thoughts.

/I'd have made my post shorter, but I didn't have time
 
2012-06-19 12:48:49 AM
UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: This is why I have you favorited in a color that makes me pay attention to your thoughts.

Well, that or the trolling.
 
2012-06-19 12:56:52 AM
puffy999: UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: This is why I have you favorited in a color that makes me pay attention to your thoughts.

Well, that or the trolling.


LOL, intelligent trolling doesn't bother me, sometimes idjuts need their nose tweaked. Sometimes it's my nose that needs it.

/keep doin' what yer doin'
 
2012-06-19 01:01:54 AM
Oblig.

assets.sbnation.com

/hot hot hot
 
2012-06-19 01:11:21 AM
this means he is innocent. he will go into the hall of fame as a red sox
 
2012-06-19 01:13:07 AM
What_Would_Jimi_Do: this means he is innocent. he will go into the hall of fame as a red sox

I bet if the trial was 100% exactly the same, but the defendant was black, he would have been found guilty.
 
2012-06-19 01:47:15 AM
eggrolls: mikaloyd: jaybeezey: I want to see the dollar total on this waste of time and beat it out of every congressman that pushed for this stupid investigation to begin with.

Reported to congress

I hope so.


eggrolls: mikaloyd: jaybeezey: I want to see the dollar total on this waste of time and beat it out of every congressman that pushed for this stupid investigation to begin with.

Reported to congress

I hope so.

I hope every one of the farktards who wasted our time and money on this pointless spectacle are aware of how angry the electorate really is, and it makes them walk a little faster to their cars after a late night congressin' because they worry that one of us is going to come up behind them and explain our dissatisfaction...with an aluminum bat.

/Not suggesting violence, just saying.

//But violence does make the point soooo well.

Really?
Be careful what you wish for
 
2012-06-19 01:50:53 AM
What_Would_Jimi_Do: this means he is innocent. he will go into the hall of fame as a red sox

He still has to get voted in by the sports writers who have made it clear that they wouldn't voted in anybody accused of juicing.
 
2012-06-19 01:51:08 AM
Di Atribe: UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: We could do that whole MeatLoaf song! :)

I gotta know right now!
 
2012-06-19 01:53:02 AM
Di Atribe: Well I'll sleep on it

Where did this line go from my previous post?
 
2012-06-19 01:55:13 AM
UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: Di Atribe: Well I'll sleep on it

Where did this line go from my previous post?


You dont happen to be in the cats meow in NOLA right now do you?
 
2012-06-19 01:56:22 AM
ongbok: What_Would_Jimi_Do: this means he is innocent. he will go into the hall of fame as a red sox

He still has to get voted in by the sports writers who have made it clear that they wouldn't voted in anybody accused of juicing.


Yes, but unlike everyone else involved, he was found "not guilty" by a jury of his peers. This was no jury nullification like the OJ trial where it was pretty clear OJ was guilty of the worst crime imaginable.

The US DoJ brought out the big guns on this, and lost. I think he gets the benefit of the doubt on this because all the forms were followed.
 
2012-06-19 01:57:40 AM
Di Atribe: UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: We could do that whole MeatLoaf song! :)
Well I'll sleep on it

KyDave: Looks like the defense team **sunglasses** hit a home run
YEEEAAAHHhhhhhh

KyDave: /You cut me, Shrek.
//Cut me deep.

Please never stop. Thank you.


One does what one can. :)

UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: puffy999: (snip)
/I'd have made my post shorter, but I didn't have time


Clever, what you did there. Made me chuckle.
 
2012-06-19 02:02:52 AM
mikaloyd: UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: Di Atribe: Well I'll sleep on it

Where did this line go from my previous post?

You dont happen to be in the cats meow in NOLA right now do you?


LOL, no. I had to go ask my niece (a NOLA native) just what the Cat's Meow was. Are they karaoke-ing that song now?

/you don't wanna hear me sing it
//YOU'LL be prayin' for the end of time
 
2012-06-19 02:06:19 AM
UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: mikaloyd: UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: Di Atribe: Well I'll sleep on it

Where did this line go from my previous post?

You dont happen to be in the cats meow in NOLA right now do you?

LOL, no. I had to go ask my niece (a NOLA native) just what the Cat's Meow was. Are they karaoke-ing that song now?

/you don't wanna hear me sing it
//YOU'LL be prayin' for the end of time


I get knocked down but I get up again

Link
 
2012-06-19 02:06:26 AM
KyDave: UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: puffy999: (snip)
/I'd have made my post shorter, but I didn't have time

Clever, what you did there. Made me chuckle.


That was paraphrased from a letter George Washington sent to someone. He apologized for the long letter, but claimed he didn't have time to shorten it. I liked it too. :)

/who knew he had a sense of humor (humour?)
 
2012-06-19 02:09:28 AM
OO baby harry yam sine seal de-livered
 
2012-06-19 02:10:47 AM
mikaloyd: I get knocked down but I get up again

The guy with the two plaid prints is pretty damn good.

/I get knocked up, but I get down again
//signed, sealed, delivered, I'm a dead letter
 
2012-06-19 02:15:59 AM
You got to fight for your right
 
2012-06-19 07:29:59 AM
Once again the obsession with sports in this country trumps all else.
 
2012-06-19 08:57:05 AM
DoctorRock: Harry_Seldon: I bet if the trial was 100% exactly the same, but the defendant was black, he would have been found guilty.

you are farking idiot


Right. *inserts tongue firmly in cheek* Because there is absolutely no precedence of exactly that kind of unfairness in the history of American jurisprudence. *removes tongue, inserts finger*

*pop*

/YOU are farking idiot
//AND willfully blind
 
2012-06-19 09:36:14 AM
italie: SO tell me TF'ers, how long has it been since an original meme crossed the queue?

I'm not even sure if this qualifies as a Fark meme. Isn't the only other "guilty of douchebaggery" headline the Edwards mistrial one?

It Really Grinds My Gears(TM) because it's just lazy headline writing (read plagiarizing).

I've seen a few of these stolen jokes lately and I'm not sure if it's the modmins trying to birth a meme or if it's just a fluke.
 
2012-06-19 09:38:44 AM
PsyLord: Didn't he have an affair with Mindy McCreedy when she was underage?

/not sure if he admitted it
/forgot the details


Mindy Macready is still under-aged I think. She has mean knife skills...
upload.wikimedia.org
 
2012-06-19 09:52:38 AM
Why do we continue the charade?
1. Let the players take steroids, hit 100 home runs a season
2. let football players smash each others heads in if they want
3. The same for hockey...don't want a concussion, don't play
4. Basketball--don't call traveling, give star players special treatment, have referrees fix games...oh, wait...

Sports: the shared delusion that something important is actually happening.
 
2012-06-19 10:12:37 AM
randomjsa: Once again the obsession with sports in this country trumps all else.

And when you and I agree that something is bullshiat, the chances are it's probably bullshiat. That this matter ever came before Congress is a f**king embarrassment.
 
2012-06-19 10:31:04 AM
All you idiots biatching about "spending tax dollars" on this do realize that prosecutors and judges aren't paid hourly right? And that they'll collect their salary regardless of whether they're in a courtroom prosecuting baseball players or tax cheats... right?
 
2012-06-19 10:39:24 AM
srhp29: This does not mean I believe Clemens. I have though Clemens was a juicer long before he was actually outed as one.

All those extra long off seasons to juice up while not under contract and out of risk of testing.

I still think this was a waste of time and money, but it seems the Justice Department is very good at wasting both of those things.


Interesting point. Could that have been what Favre was up to when he "retired"?
 
2012-06-19 10:48:52 AM
rickythepenguin: skrame: /still on the fence about steroids, as long as they weren't against the rules of baseball at the time of use.


fay vincent added steroids to the banned list via a 1991 memo to all teams.

Vincent was the first Commissioner to expressly include anabolic steroids among the substances prohibited under baseball's drug policy, which he did in the June 1991 version of the memorandum.130 Steroids were added to the drug policy at that time, apparently as a result of the enactment of the Anabolic Steroids Control Act of 1990. Under that statute, anabolic steroids had been reclassified as Schedule III controlled substances, and the illegal use of them became subject to substantially increased criminal penalties.131

Keep in mind, that aside from vincent adding steroids to the naughty list, as Schedule III substances, use/possession of steroids without a prescription was illegal under federal law. so the "welp, steroids weren't illegal!" argument is a double fail.

the problem was, the MLBPA and the owner's colluded to bar adoption of a testing regime. so a rule existed, but there was no way to enforce / check it.

but the notion of "ZOMG MLB never banned steroids until 2006!"* is patently, willingly, "i'm going to stick my head in the sand and ignore the truth" false.


*or 2005. whenever they adopted testing after Congress threatened to take back the antitrust exemption and Bud Selig et al had no choice


Thanks for the info. I watch some baseball, but not to the point that I know when different rules were introduced. If the steroids were banned and players were caught with them, I'm all for punishment including a ban from the HOF.

That said, I'm against going back and trying to prove steroid use in a court of law (or in front of congress). Testing should be done during the time of play; if a person was able to hide it, so be it.

/applies to Armstrong as well.
 
2012-06-19 11:20:00 AM
skrame: Thanks for the info. I watch some baseball, but not to the point that I know when different rules were introduced. If the steroids were banned and players were caught with them, I'm all for punishment including a ban from the HOF.


that is just one thing that always annoys the hell out of me (the, "well, MLB never banned steroids until 2006!") argument. it is in the mitchell report, in case you didn't check the link. it isn't "gee, i think that something happened but i can't source it...." it's in the freaking mitchell report.

and yet established sportswriters still, from time to time, make that claim. i've argued this point on-air with sports talk radio folks. if you are in sports journalism and make that claim, you're either incompetent or willfully deceiving your audience (and yourself).
 
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