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(Cincinnati Enquirer)   "Touchdown" Jesus to be replaced with "Her Ass Was This Big" Jesus   (news.cincinnati.com) divider line 127
    More: Amusing, I-75, image zoom  
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20041 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Jun 2012 at 12:14 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-06-18 11:27:34 AM  
they just can't take a hint....
 
2012-06-18 11:34:49 AM  
The latest piece will represent a full-size Jesus with arms outstretched as if beckoning people to him.

So I guess this one will be destroyed by a semi running off the interstate.
 
2012-06-18 11:35:44 AM  
"It was this big..."

/Lying Fisherman Jesus
 
2012-06-18 11:41:23 AM  
"...crews are expected to begin erecting the 51-foot replica of a traditional Jesus about July 16.....The latest piece will represent a full-size Jesus with arms outstretched. ..."

He's much taller than I've always imagined him to be...

/glad I don't have to drive that way too much any longer
 
2012-06-18 11:45:43 AM  
The massive roadside statue of Jesus at Solid Rock Church lost to a lightning strike and spectacular blaze in June 2010

hahahahaha
 
2012-06-18 11:49:13 AM  
::sigh:: Farking Christians and their yard art, man...
 
2012-06-18 11:59:15 AM  
Whatever happened to no graven images? If I believed in a god who said "Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above", and was still stupid enough to disobey him and make one which was subsequently struck by lightning and burned down I would think by then I'd get the message.

Unless I was a con-artist who didn't believe in god but was raking in the money from gullible parishioners, then I'd re-build it to get more people coming to my church.
 
2012-06-18 11:59:34 AM  
From the Solid Rock Church church bulletin.

"Join us for a special service on Sunday, July 22nd, where we will celebrate Jesus' erection"

/I may have made that up.
 
2012-06-18 12:17:00 PM  
It's not idolatry when we do it!
 
2012-06-18 12:17:28 PM  
That was 'Big Butter Jesus'. 'Touchdown Jesus' always has and always will be in South Bend, IN.
 
2012-06-18 12:18:07 PM  
It will be constructed of fire-resistant material.

Well that there's just a challenge, i'nt it?
 
2012-06-18 12:18:22 PM  
I like the "Big Butter-Jesus" moniker better. It worked for the old butter colored one. It works for this one too, for a different reason. We just switch the hyphen: "Big-Butter Jesus."
 
2012-06-18 12:18:28 PM  
i91.photobucket.com

Still like this touchdown Jesus a bit better....
 
2012-06-18 12:20:37 PM  
It took me forever to get the "Big Butter Jesus" song out of my head.

Now it's back.

Big butter Jesus
Sweet cream Jesus
O' country fresh Jesus
Unsalted Jesus

O' Promise Jesus
Imperial Jesus
Can't believe it's not Jesus
Oleo Lord

Go Spread the Word

Should be a hymn for dairy farmers
 
2012-06-18 12:21:28 PM  

exick: The massive roadside statue of Jesus at Solid Rock Church lost to a lightning strike and spectacular blaze in June 2010

hahahahaha


The double bonus irony was that said lightning strike at "Solid Rock" Church revealed the Jesi on the front lawn to be nothing more than plaster and chicken wire
 
2012-06-18 12:21:33 PM  
Go will just take it out again. He told us he has a problem with idols... Stupid people.
 
2012-06-18 12:21:50 PM  
Yeah because that money couldn't be spent on feeding the hungry or clothing the sick, or anything Christ-like such as that.
 
2012-06-18 12:22:04 PM  
halfbackflanker.files.wordpress.com

Australian rules Jesus!
 
2012-06-18 12:22:46 PM  
They should have gone with Touchdown Jesus surfing

images3.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2012-06-18 12:22:56 PM  
"When I first came here, this was all swamp. Everyone said I was daft to build a giant roadside Jesus on a swamp, but I built in all the same, just to show them. It sank into the swamp. So I built a second one. That sank into the swamp. So I built a third. That burned down, fell over, then sank into the swamp. But the fourth one stayed up. And that's what you're going to get, Lad, the biggest roadside Jesus in all of Ohio. "
 
2012-06-18 12:23:21 PM  
...And coming in at Number One on the list of "Why I'm Glad I Don't Live in Cincinnati Anymore," it's "Evangelical Christians and their Gigantic Roadside Eyesores."



/in the voice of Casey Kasem, of course
 
2012-06-18 12:24:23 PM  
Shouldn't it have rebuilt itself on the third day?
 
2012-06-18 12:25:13 PM  
$250k?!!!! Jesus Chr....
 
2012-06-18 12:25:44 PM  

talulahgosh: they just can't take a hint....


Exactly what I intended to post.
 
2012-06-18 12:25:44 PM  
...and that one burned down, fell over, and then sank into the swamp.

I wonder if there are any pictures of giant flaming touchdown Jesus?
 
2012-06-18 12:25:54 PM  
Haywood Banks will be pleased
 
2012-06-18 12:27:24 PM  
Struck down by an act of God and they're rebuilding it?

Teh stupid is strong in that place.
 
2012-06-18 12:28:00 PM  
I drive on interstate 68 through MD and WV when I head home to visit my family, and there's a church called "Ark of Christ" or some such with a big ass sign and a huge steel frame for a replica ark out front right along the highway. I don't know if the church is still going but that ark has been sitting there unfinished for the 10 years I've been driving that stretch of road. It's funny and a little sad. That was some guy's dream that never quite got realized.

There's also a church with a lighthouse along I68 at the top of one of the smallish mountains not too far down the road from the unfinished ark. The lighthouse people have their shiat together at least, that one's complete. So they'll have light but no boat when the flood comes.
 
2012-06-18 12:28:16 PM  
The only Jesus I know is a gay 34 year old supervisor at BestBuy. Although you would not know he likes cock just by looking at him.
 
2012-06-18 12:28:34 PM  

basemetal: [halfbackflanker.files.wordpress.com image 456x552]

Australian rules Jesus!


Hey ref Jesus, how big is your dick?
 
2012-06-18 12:29:02 PM  
I went to see the REALLY BIG Jesus in Rio. It's a tourist requirment.
 
2012-06-18 12:29:04 PM  
Jesus who?
 
2012-06-18 12:29:12 PM  

exick: The massive roadside statue of Jesus at Solid Rock Church lost to a lightning strike and spectacular blaze in June 2010

hahahahaha


Listen to the 911 call

"Apparently it got struck by lightning and is now on fire"

911 operator: "niiiiice..."
 
2012-06-18 12:31:53 PM  

Slaxl: Whatever happened to no graven images?


I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks that way, I just don't get these palace mega churches they seem to break every value they claim they follow. Now I will leave this thread with the updated version of Jesus Loves the Little Children:

Jesus loves the little children
Except for that one and those two over there
 
2012-06-18 12:33:05 PM  
Plastic Jesus, Plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
Once his robe was snowy white
Now it isn't quite so bright
Stained by the smoke of my cigar
 
2012-06-18 12:33:53 PM  
i171.photobucket.com

"Traditional Jesus" has the potential to cast a phallic shadow.

/maybe not, i don't know physics.
//is it physics? or astronomy?
///i don't know that either
 
2012-06-18 12:34:26 PM  
Tracy, Dean, and Jesus present A Gift To Our Lord (some NSFW language)
 
2012-06-18 12:34:33 PM  

Slaxl: Whatever happened to no graven images? If I believed in a god who said "Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above", and was still stupid enough to disobey him and make one which was subsequently struck by lightning and burned down I would think by then I'd get the message.


You have to remember these people are liars, theves, and hypocrites.
they are only in it for the money and the rape.
Mostly the rape.
 
2012-06-18 12:34:54 PM  
religionpoisons.files.wordpress.com

Not far from my home.

Also not far from my home: gigantic crosses and huge Confederate flags next to the interstate.

/Some people aren't happy until you know their opinions.
 
2012-06-18 12:35:11 PM  

Slaxl: Whatever happened to no graven images? If I believed in a god who said "Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above", and was still stupid enough to disobey him and make one which was subsequently struck by lightning and burned down I would think by then I'd get the message.

Unless I was a con-artist who didn't believe in god but was raking in the money from gullible parishioners, then I'd re-build it to get more people coming to my church.


The general reasoning behind the images is that they depict Jesus in his role as the human avatar of God. And if Jesus was both fully man and fully god, then depicting the fully man part is no different than depicting any other human.
 
2012-06-18 12:36:09 PM  

Tom_Slick: Slaxl: Whatever happened to no graven images?

I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks that way, I just don't get these palace mega churches they seem to break every value they claim they follow. Now I will leave this thread with the updated version of Jesus Loves the Little Children:

Jesus loves the little children
Except for that one and those two over there


You seem to have mistaken"Jesus" for "Republican JesusTM". Honest mistake.
 
2012-06-18 12:36:29 PM  

Mad Scientist: [religionpoisons.files.wordpress.com image 620x400]

Not far from my home.

Also not far from my home: gigantic crosses and huge Confederate flags next to the interstate.

/Some people aren't happy until you know their opinions.


And now I know where you live. Drove by that all the time when going to visit the wife's parents
 
2012-06-18 12:36:35 PM  

Mad Scientist: Also not far from my home: gigantic crosses


Do they light those things up at night?
 
2012-06-18 12:37:19 PM  
erecting the 51-foot replica of a traditional Jesus

I can't wait to see our new meme ! LOL
 
2012-06-18 12:37:27 PM  
diggingalot.org
 
2012-06-18 12:38:11 PM  

phalamir: Slaxl: Whatever happened to no graven images? If I believed in a god who said "Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above", and was still stupid enough to disobey him and make one which was subsequently struck by lightning and burned down I would think by then I'd get the message.

Unless I was a con-artist who didn't believe in god but was raking in the money from gullible parishioners, then I'd re-build it to get more people coming to my church.

The general reasoning behind the images is that they depict Jesus in his role as the human avatar of God. And if Jesus was both fully man and fully god, then depicting the fully man part is no different than depicting any other human.


www.atheistmemebase.com
 
2012-06-18 12:38:29 PM  
Jesus, I like him very much, but he no help with curveball.
 
2012-06-18 12:38:39 PM  

scooter1369: Haywood Banks will be pleased


Maybe he could write a song combining "Big Butter Jesus" with "Toast".

/It's Heywood
 
2012-06-18 12:38:52 PM  

Oznog: exick: The massive roadside statue of Jesus at Solid Rock Church lost to a lightning strike and spectacular blaze in June 2010

hahahahaha

Listen to the 911 call

"Apparently it got struck by lightning and is now on fire"

911 operator: "niiiiice..."


Bahahahaha, I had totally forgotten about that. I'm sure that outside of the horrific things dispatches have heard, they've also heard some pretty hilarious ones.

My favorite was the call my dad responded to... "Sooooo, there's a float plane that just landed on the McKenzie river. Upside down."
 
2012-06-18 12:40:24 PM  

Magorn: exick: The massive roadside statue of Jesus at Solid Rock Church lost to a lightning strike and spectacular blaze in June 2010

hahahahaha

The double bonus irony was that said lightning strike at "Solid Rock" Church revealed the Jesi on the front lawn to be nothing more than plaster and chicken wire


Mostly styrofoam, actually.
 
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