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(Gawker)   Frozen burrito for stoners to be released; number that explode in the microwave expected to skyrocket   (gawker.com) divider line 42
    More: Silly, rockets, tomato sauces, Loud Mouth Burritos  
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6685 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Jun 2012 at 11:32 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-06-18 09:33:30 AM
Professional skateboarder and MTV reality star Rob Dyrdek

It's time to play Douchebag Double Down!
 
2012-06-18 11:35:49 AM
So he invented hot pockets?
 
2012-06-18 11:42:14 AM
1983 is calling...
 
2012-06-18 11:44:24 AM
Dude, why not just make a run to the border......
 
2012-06-18 11:45:54 AM

IrateShadow: So he invented hot pockets?


This.

Are they supposed to be eaten frozen, or am I missing something?
 
2012-06-18 11:47:42 AM
Reason #287 why marijuana struggles to be legalized. Because these are the types of idiots who get on mass media and then my old aunt can feel above them crowing about all they want to do is get high and eat.

Much like people assume every tornado touches down in a trailer park, most people assume most pot smokers are intrigued by a shiatty burrito made by a douche pandering to stereotypes. Who the fark eats a food because it has the number 420 for calories as a selling point?
 
2012-06-18 11:52:16 AM
i1136.photobucket.com
 
2012-06-18 11:52:56 AM
Is there a such thing as a frozen burrito for non-stoners?
 
2012-06-18 11:53:11 AM

basemetal: Dude, why not just make a run to the border......


I tried but I waited like all night for a stop sign to turn green.
 
2012-06-18 11:55:44 AM
Rob Dyrdek is a scourge on society. Is it great wealth that makes a man an asshole/douchebag or is it that assholes/douchebags acquire great wealth with such relative ease?
 
2012-06-18 11:55:48 AM
Del Taco - two combination burritos (meat and bean) with green sauce and extra cheese plus three to six hot sauce packets per burrito, washed down with Dr. Pepper.

BLIND SCREAMING MUNCHIES FTW !!!!!
 
2012-06-18 11:56:25 AM
How many minutes for the burrito?
i.ytimg.com
 
2012-06-18 11:59:45 AM
But can God make a frozen burrito so cold that even he can't microwave it?
 
2012-06-18 12:07:55 PM
I'm not a stoner but a drunk. I made up the potato chip fajita: tortilla, potato chips and tabasco. I live in Texas and know how to pronounce "fajita", but because of the obsurdity of the creation we called it a "fuh-jy-tuh"----I probably should be a stoner.
 
2012-06-18 12:09:23 PM

IrateShadow: So he invented hot pockets?


beezeltown: 1983 is calling...


That reminds me. I came up with this great idea while I was high!
How about, we have people contribute humorous and entertaining news stories, use the ones with the best headlines to show publicly, and open up threads so that people can comment on them!
Readers can then vote on the smartest or funniest comments!

*Sheesh*
 
2012-06-18 12:14:18 PM

Spanky3woods: Del Taco - two combination burritos (meat and bean) with green sauce and extra cheese plus three to six hot sauce packets per burrito, washed down with Dr. Pepper.

BLIND SCREAMING MUNCHIES FTW !!!!!



I've got another little $2 Del Taco stoned creation, makes a couple sort of bland items pretty good, from back in the days when I exclusively shopped dollar menus. Get a half pound bean and cheese burrito (sauce of your choice) and a chicken soft taco, open the burrito up. Open the chicken soft taco up and plop it face down in the burrito; roll burrito back up. Twist at the end optional.

It's delicious. And though if your munchies are raging they may not completely satiate the hunger, it's a good sized meal that can hold you til the next one.
 
2012-06-18 12:22:02 PM
Poorly written punch-face article is poorly written, makes me want to punch writer in face.
 
2012-06-18 12:24:46 PM
Rob Dyrdek and Drama make my urge to kill skyrocket. Drama would be working at Burger King if it wasn't for old uncle Robby.

Does the DC on the hats and shirts stand for Douche Crew?
 
2012-06-18 12:25:36 PM

rudemix: Reason #287 why marijuana struggles to be legalized. Because these are the types of idiots who get on mass media and then my old aunt can feel above them crowing about all they want to do is get high and eat.

Much like people assume every tornado touches down in a trailer park, most people assume most pot smokers are intrigued by a shiatty burrito made by a douche pandering to stereotypes. Who the fark eats a food because it has the number 420 for calories as a selling point?


This so much. I worked as a medical marijuana caregiver for about a year and a half, most of the patients where normal people, you wouldn't guess they smoked pot by the looks of them, but a few were the hair dyed, pierced up douchebags, and they were always the loudest most obnoxious.

Then after some law changes I was let go from the company, I replied to a job post for a decriminalization effort. When I should up, dressed for a job interview, I found myself the most professional looking there. Everyone had a piercing, half had unnatural hair colors (one of which was both blue and pink) and they all dressed like they were going to a rock show. It was really really sad, and I now have less hope for the effort then I had before walking into that office.
 
2012-06-18 12:26:30 PM

Langdon Alger: I'm not a stoner but a drunk. I made up the potato chip fajita: tortilla, potato chips and tabasco. I live in Texas and know how to pronounce "fajita", but because of the obsurdity of the creation we called it a "fuh-jy-tuh"----I probably should be a stoner.


Obscure absurdity?
 
2012-06-18 12:29:15 PM
i confess, one time i wanted a burger. so hey, i pull one of the preformed that we kept for parties out cause i didn't want to work hard(and they're good preformed burgers actually... at least not bad). i was stone sober at the time, so keep that in mind.

so i've got it going in the pan. nice diner burger, frying up on top of a layer of its own fat. this is gonna be delicious.

i hit it with the triple-cheese combo: swiss-pepperjack-extra sharp cheddar. BAM. this is gonna be awesome.

i get the fixings ready. oh yeah, this burger's gonna ROCK.

i go to grab the bun. wtf no buns.

no bread...

the burger's starting to get a little too done. crapcrapcrapcrapwhadoido....

AHA! we have tortillas!

i lay down a quick thin coat of mayo, horseradish, some sirracha/ketchup for zip. the burger goes in the center, some tomato on top. thank god it's a jumbo tortilla! i quickly fold it over all round. i have a funny little flattish package.... seems too wet.

i eye the pan, still hot, still got that layer of fat in the bottom. oh cast iron goddess, how you inspire me.

the assembly hits the pan, folds-down first. not too long. maybe 45 seconds, enough to crisp and seal. flip it, gently... about the same on the other side...

pull it, plate it. look at it, gently steaming ever so little. hmmm.... maybe?

pick it up, take a bite.

it's fan-farking-TASTIC. all the all-americanism of a good diner burger. all the festive fun of a chimichanga. all the 'homg sirracha down the wrong tube' hacking and coughing setting the food down to try to get something to drink.

then back to the burger. yeah, still awesome. little more carefully now, that's the trick. grab a beer out of the fridge...

perfection.

i have yet to make another. sometimes i'm afraid to, for fear it might not be anywhere near as awesome as that first one.

and a little bit out of fear that it would be as awesome as the first one, and i'd want to make more of them, and quite possibly mama-cass myself to death.
 
2012-06-18 12:39:13 PM

buttery_shame_cave: i confess, one time i wanted a burger. so hey, i pull one of the preformed that we kept for parties out cause i didn't want to work hard(and they're good preformed burgers actually... at least not bad). i was stone sober at the time, so keep that in mind.

so i've got it going in the pan. nice diner burger, frying up on top of a layer of its own fat. this is gonna be delicious.

i hit it with the triple-cheese combo: swiss-pepperjack-extra sharp cheddar. BAM. this is gonna be awesome.

i get the fixings ready. oh yeah, this burger's gonna ROCK.

i go to grab the bun. wtf no buns.

no bread...

the burger's starting to get a little too done. crapcrapcrapcrapwhadoido....

AHA! we have tortillas!

i lay down a quick thin coat of mayo, horseradish, some sirracha/ketchup for zip. the burger goes in the center, some tomato on top. thank god it's a jumbo tortilla! i quickly fold it over all round. i have a funny little flattish package.... seems too wet.

i eye the pan, still hot, still got that layer of fat in the bottom. oh cast iron goddess, how you inspire me.

the assembly hits the pan, folds-down first. not too long. maybe 45 seconds, enough to crisp and seal. flip it, gently... about the same on the other side...

pull it, plate it. look at it, gently steaming ever so little. hmmm.... maybe?

pick it up, take a bite.

it's fan-farking-TASTIC. all the all-americanism of a good diner burger. all the festive fun of a chimichanga. all the 'homg sirracha down the wrong tube' hacking and coughing setting the food down to try to get something to drink.

then back to the burger. yeah, still awesome. little more carefully now, that's the trick. grab a beer out of the fridge...

perfection.

i have yet to make another. sometimes i'm afraid to, for fear it might not be anywhere near as awesome as that first one.

and a little bit out of fear that it would be as awesome as the first one, and i'd want to make more of them, and quite possibly mama-cass myself to death.


Making these for dinner. You sir are a genius.
 
2012-06-18 12:39:36 PM

buttery_shame_cave: and a little bit out of fear that it would be as awesome as the first one, and i'd want to make more of them, and quite possibly mama-cass myself to death.



Could you think of a suitable substitution for horseradish?
 
2012-06-18 12:43:05 PM

Optimal_Illusion: Langdon Alger: I'm not a stoner but a drunk. I made up the potato chip fajita: tortilla, potato chips and tabasco. I live in Texas and know how to pronounce "fajita", but because of the obsurdity of the creation we called it a "fuh-jy-tuh"----I probably should be a stoner.

Obscure absurdity?


oops, monday and hungover
 
2012-06-18 12:50:33 PM

D_Evans45: buttery_shame_cave: and a little bit out of fear that it would be as awesome as the first one, and i'd want to make more of them, and quite possibly mama-cass myself to death.


Could you think of a suitable substitution for horseradish?



one could easily sub a nice dijon mustardr for the horseradish. i don't usually use a lot myself, just enough to bump up the overall flavor profile(as the horseradish seems to make the nose wake right the fark up when applied just so).

but yeah, a good flavorful mustard would surely go well. perhaps back off on the sriracha or leave it out entirely at that point to prevent a flavor clash...

having only made it once i can't fully recommend a good pairing for it, but it went down pretty well with a blonde ale. might also go nicely with a lighter lager or a pilsner. hefe might also work. the fuller-bodied beers might be a little much tho, but i'm not sure.
 
2012-06-18 01:11:30 PM
www.smidgeindustriesltd.com

If you're going to microwave that burrito,
I want you to poke holes in the plastic wrapping
because they explode.

And I'm tired of cleaning up your little burrito doings.
You dig me?
 
2012-06-18 01:13:33 PM
Do you know which burritos are the BEST when you're stoned?



The closest.
 
2012-06-18 01:36:53 PM
There's not too many celebrities I would say I can't stand (seeing as I don't know them personally and all) but Jesus is this guy a douche bag. 38 years old and dresses like my 8 year old nephew.
 
2012-06-18 01:37:33 PM

buzzhead: Rob Dyrdek and Drama make my urge to kill skyrocket. Drama would be working at Burger King if it wasn't for old uncle Robby.

Does the DC on the hats and shirts stand for Douche Crew?


Exactly. I hate that smug asshole.
 
2012-06-18 01:49:48 PM

buttery_shame_cave: D_Evans45: buttery_shame_cave: and a little bit out of fear that it would be as awesome as the first one, and i'd want to make more of them, and quite possibly mama-cass myself to death.


Could you think of a suitable substitution for horseradish?


one could easily sub a nice dijon mustardr for the horseradish. i don't usually use a lot myself, just enough to bump up the overall flavor profile(as the horseradish seems to make the nose wake right the fark up when applied just so).

but yeah, a good flavorful mustard would surely go well. perhaps back off on the sriracha or leave it out entirely at that point to prevent a flavor clash...

having only made it once i can't fully recommend a good pairing for it, but it went down pretty well with a blonde ale. might also go nicely with a lighter lager or a pilsner. hefe might also work. the fuller-bodied beers might be a little much tho, but i'm not sure.


Weird. Yesterday I made burgers stuffed with cheddar cheese and horseradish and topped with sauteed onions and mushrooms. Next time maybe I will seal the deal in a tortilla.
 
2012-06-18 01:58:45 PM

coldones: buttery_shame_cave: D_Evans45: buttery_shame_cave: and a little bit out of fear that it would be as awesome as the first one, and i'd want to make more of them, and quite possibly mama-cass myself to death.


Could you think of a suitable substitution for horseradish?


one could easily sub a nice dijon mustardr for the horseradish. i don't usually use a lot myself, just enough to bump up the overall flavor profile(as the horseradish seems to make the nose wake right the fark up when applied just so).

but yeah, a good flavorful mustard would surely go well. perhaps back off on the sriracha or leave it out entirely at that point to prevent a flavor clash...

having only made it once i can't fully recommend a good pairing for it, but it went down pretty well with a blonde ale. might also go nicely with a lighter lager or a pilsner. hefe might also work. the fuller-bodied beers might be a little much tho, but i'm not sure.

Weird. Yesterday I made burgers stuffed with cheddar cheese and horseradish and topped with sauteed onions and mushrooms. Next time maybe I will seal the deal in a tortilla.


i've thought about doing the tortilla thing again, only putting that mess between a couple nicely grilled slices of sourdough.

that crisp sourdough plus the slightly crunchy tortilla holding in that cheesy-meaty awesomeness... it seems like a memorable combination.
 
2012-06-18 02:27:06 PM

Glenford: How many minutes for the burrito?
[i.ytimg.com image 480x360]


Came for the Encino Man reference, leaving satisfied, good buddy.
 
2012-06-18 02:37:11 PM
keepitcherry

There's not too many celebrities I would say I can't stand (seeing as I don't know them personally and all) but Jesus is this guy a douche bag. 38 years old and dresses like my 8 year old nephew.

At what age to we have to stop being ourselves and begin living our lives to make other people happy? I'm 35 and really want you to be happy with me and my decisions.
 
2012-06-18 02:58:15 PM
Supreme pizza dipped in ranch dressing.
 
2012-06-18 03:06:22 PM

rudemix: Reason #287 why marijuana struggles to be legalized. Because these are the types of idiots who get on mass media and then my old aunt can feel above them crowing about all they want to do is get high and eat.

Much like people assume every tornado touches down in a trailer park, most people assume most pot smokers are intrigued by a shiatty burrito made by a douche pandering to stereotypes. Who the fark eats a food because it has the number 420 for calories as a selling point?


his target audience....young stupid stoners
 
2012-06-18 03:34:18 PM

BMFPitt: Is there a such thing as a frozen burrito for non-stoners?


Came here to ask this.

/Stoner
//Still doesn't eat frozen burritos.
 
2012-06-18 03:43:22 PM
Get some...sour cream and onion chips, with some dip, man. Some beef jerkey, some peanut butter. Get some Hagen-Dagz ice-cream bars. A whole lotta of chocolate. Gotta have chocolate, man. Some popcorn, pink popcorn. GRAHAM CRACKERS!!! Graham crackers with the marshmallows. Little marshmallows with little chocolate bars and we'll make some s'mores man. Celery, grape jelly, Captain Crunch with the little crunch berries, pizzas, we need two big pizzas, man, everything on 'em, water, a whole lotta water and.......Funyuns.
 
2012-06-18 03:46:56 PM
BuckTurgidson

Get some...sour cream and onion chips, with some dip, man. Some beef jerkey, some peanut butter. Get some Hagen-Dagz ice-cream bars. A whole lotta of chocolate. Gotta have chocolate, man. Some popcorn, pink popcorn. GRAHAM CRACKERS!!! Graham crackers with the marshmallows. Little marshmallows with little chocolate bars and we'll make some s'mores man. Celery, grape jelly, Captain Crunch with the little crunch berries, pizzas, we need two big pizzas, man, everything on 'em, water, a whole lotta water and.......Funyuns.


That's it?
 
2012-06-18 04:13:44 PM

busy chillin': keepitcherry

There's not too many celebrities I would say I can't stand (seeing as I don't know them personally and all) but Jesus is this guy a douche bag. 38 years old and dresses like my 8 year old nephew.

At what age to we have to stop being ourselves and begin living our lives to make other people happy? I'm 35 and really want you to be happy with me and my decisions.


Lol, wear whatever you like just don't get salty when someone has an opinion about it.
 
2012-06-18 05:00:55 PM

keepitcherry: busy chillin': keepitcherry

There's not too many celebrities I would say I can't stand (seeing as I don't know them personally and all) but Jesus is this guy a douche bag. 38 years old and dresses like my 8 year old nephew.

At what age to we have to stop being ourselves and begin living our lives to make other people happy? I'm 35 and really want you to be happy with me and my decisions.

Lol, wear whatever you like just don't get salty when someone has an opinion about it.


Mellow status = Harshed
 
2012-06-18 07:45:37 PM
You better get those damn illegal Mexicans back before you eat yourselves to death.

P-U! Cheezburgah and Pizzle-zah burritos. I'd sooner make tacos from scratch.

Those are two flavours you should not experience in a burrito or a cat food.
 
2012-06-18 07:52:09 PM
dude if i have a 420W microwave do i microwave it for 4:20 minutes
 
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