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(KGW Portland)   I'm stuck under my dresser. I'm so very scared. Help   (kgw.com) divider line 48
    More: Scary  
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11922 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Jun 2012 at 1:50 AM (3 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



48 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-06-18 12:40:51 AM  
Not to mention four days of pooping in her drawers.
 
2012-06-18 12:55:59 AM  
Freaky. I was *just* revisiting the Ballsack Conundrum thread not thirty seconds ago.
 
2012-06-18 01:57:32 AM  
haha what a stupid biatch.
 
2012-06-18 01:58:19 AM  
Kneecap Conundrum?
 
2012-06-18 01:58:29 AM  
If you're an elderly person, you really should get a LifeAlert bracelet or necklace. This is exactly the type of thing that technology is designed to help with.

If commercials showing grannies dramatically careening off the top step of the stairs isn't going to convince you, at least look to this real life example of what can happen to you.
 
2012-06-18 02:01:10 AM  

AverageAmericanGuy: If you're an elderly person, you really should get a LifeAlert bracelet or necklace. This is exactly the type of thing that technology is designed to help with.

If commercials showing grannies dramatically careening off the top step of the stairs isn't going to convince you, at least look to this real life example of what can happen to you.


www.scarybot.com

/you forgot about robot insurance
 
2012-06-18 02:01:57 AM  
So, the cat's didn't eat her?
 
2012-06-18 02:03:36 AM  
FTFA: Sgt. Vance Stimler with the Washington County Sheriff's office said, "If not for the concerned neighbors and decisive action of the deputies on scene the result of this situation could have been tragic."

"Thanks to them, however, it was only hilarious," he added.
 
2012-06-18 02:04:27 AM  
Principal Skinner remains unimpressed.
 
2012-06-18 02:05:22 AM  
I'd tap that if I knew she wasn't going anywhere...
 
2012-06-18 02:06:55 AM  

GUATAPOPO: I'd tap that if I knew she wasn't going anywhere...


The older the berry the sweeter the juice.
 
2012-06-18 02:07:21 AM  
Heh. This reminds me of the dude who stuffed his mother in law into a fold-out couch.
 
2012-06-18 02:07:38 AM  
i232.photobucket.com
 
2012-06-18 02:08:24 AM  
Did she finally escape using a homemade bottle rocket and a retractable vacuum cleaner cord?
 
2012-06-18 02:10:17 AM  

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Heh. This reminds me of the dude who stuffed his mother in law into a fold-out couch.


living the dream. living the dream.
 
2012-06-18 02:13:31 AM  

AverageAmericanGuy: If you're an elderly person, you really should get a LifeAlert bracelet or necklace. This is exactly the type of thing that technology is designed to help with.

If commercials showing grannies dramatically careening off the top step of the stairs isn't going to convince you, at least look to this real life example of what can happen to you.


Yeah, I'm very glad that my grandmother has one of those. Not that she's had to use it, but between the basement stairs and her short-term memory problems, it makes all of us -- family and friends who can't be there around the clock -- feel better. (Assuming she remembers to keep the thing on.)
 
2012-06-18 02:13:40 AM  

404 page not found: GUATAPOPO: I'd tap that if I knew she wasn't going anywhere...

The older the berry the sweeter the juice.


Man, it's the blacker the berry the sweeter the juice.
 
2012-06-18 02:15:04 AM  

untaken_name: 404 page not found: GUATAPOPO: I'd tap that if I knew she wasn't going anywhere...

The older the berry the sweeter the juice.

Man, it's the blacker the berry the sweeter the juice.


Yeah, well she blacker than a motherfarker, too. You know, from where the dresser landed on her.
 
2012-06-18 02:23:29 AM  

404 page not found: untaken_name: 404 page not found: GUATAPOPO: I'd tap that if I knew she wasn't going anywhere...

The older the berry the sweeter the juice.

Man, it's the blacker the berry the sweeter the juice.

Yeah, well she blacker than a motherfarker, too. You know, from where the dresser landed on her.


api.ning.com
 
2012-06-18 02:30:30 AM  

Dallymo: Freaky. I was *just* revisiting the Ballsack Conundrum thread not thirty seconds ago.


dammit so much!
 
2012-06-18 02:42:33 AM  
I'm going to die at a relatively early age because my grandmother lived on her own until she was 97, which will certainly make me say "my grandmother lived on her own until she was 97" just to keep my freedom.

/getting old sucks.
 
2012-06-18 02:45:32 AM  
At least her testicles weren't involved.
 
2012-06-18 02:56:09 AM  

Dallymo: Freaky. I was *just* revisiting the Ballsack Conundrum thread not thirty seconds ago.


farm4.static.flickr.com

"Can't get enough of that old ballsack thread...it's got the nuts that's stuck...yeah!"
 
2012-06-18 03:07:29 AM  
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,231945,00.html

Made out better than the lady who fell behind a shelf.

If you are tiny and weak, stay the fark away from large furniture.
 
2012-06-18 03:21:41 AM  
cdn.static.ovimg.com
This guy helped raise scorpions with something heavy on him, what did this woman do?
 
2012-06-18 03:35:43 AM  
So is subby trapped underneath a dresser or not?
 
2012-06-18 03:44:39 AM  
I know I'm going to get biatched at here for being a heartless asshole, but it's hard for me to find too much sympathy here. If you're an old farking lady, you don't start moving heavy furniture around your house by yourself, period. When you live alone with no one to help if something goes wrong, then doubly so.

Frankly, unless she has dementia (in which case she shouldn't be living alone anyways) she's damn lucky Darwin's missed her so far - but it sounds more like a case of plain old farking stupid.

/Glad she didn't die
//Property value would drop like a rock dresser
 
2012-06-18 03:51:45 AM  
Im most suprised that someone cared enough about dis old lady to call the police.
 
2012-06-18 04:45:32 AM  
How was this old bat not tasered to a crisp? For all those poor officers knew, she could have thrown a dresser at them at any time.
 
2012-06-18 06:21:21 AM  
FTA: Sgt. Vance Stimler with the Washington County Sheriff's office said, "If not for the concerned nosy neighbors and decisive action of the deputies on scene the result of this situation could have been tragic."
 
2012-06-18 06:22:14 AM  

AverageAmericanGuy: If you're an elderly person, you really should get a LifeAlert bracelet or necklace. This is exactly the type of thing that technology is designed to help with.

If commercials showing grannies dramatically careening off the top step of the stairs isn't going to convince you, at least look to this real life example of what can happen to you.


You could just make a habit of always carrying your cellphone; hell of a lot cheaper.
 
2012-06-18 08:07:56 AM  

mbillips: AverageAmericanGuy: If you're an elderly person, you really should get a LifeAlert bracelet or necklace. This is exactly the type of thing that technology is designed to help with.

If commercials showing grannies dramatically careening off the top step of the stairs isn't going to convince you, at least look to this real life example of what can happen to you.

You could just make a habit of always carrying your cellphone; hell of a lot cheaper.


CHEAPER? Man, I think you missed the point of her being stuck for FOUR DAYS!
THINK
of how much she saved on her grocery bill not being able to get to the fridge for four days.

Still doing all the heavy lifting around here . . .
 
2012-06-18 08:08:00 AM  
Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Heh. This reminds me of the dude who stuffed his mother in law into a fold-out couch.

Yeah and as soon as you get her packed away, the wife's hot friend says she needs someplace to stay. The wife says "She can use the hide-a-bed now the mom is at the Native American Casino junket you took her to."

Now, you want the thong wearing hottie hanging around drinking and crying about her soon to be ex but you know the party is going to be over the moment the hide-a-bed gets opened. What do you do? What do you do?

1: Pop the hide-a-bed, yell "Mom! If you're here, who did I take to that casino? I have to find out right now!" Grab the hottie as a co-pilot and drive to Mexico.

2. "That sweet, sad ass deserves to be in a real bed. Let her sleep with us. It won't be weird or nuthing."

3. "I think that hide-a-bed is haunted or evil. You know, like that plant in "Little Shop of Horrors. Oh noes! It's eaten Mom. We must kill it with fire this very moment!""
 
2012-06-18 08:13:26 AM  
When told of the incident, Mitt Romney or Barack Obama recently stated: "To ensure all seniors are safe from this kind of horrible occurrences, my first action when elected/re-elected is to form a cabinet level position to ensure our seniors are safe from this kind of attack. I will therefore create a Bureau of Bureaus to ensure our seniors are no longer terrorized by these wanton and dangerous dresser drawers."
 
2012-06-18 08:56:58 AM  
This once happened to a neighbor of mine. We were sitting in our apartment one night, and heard someone calling for help. The lady in the apartment next door had been trying to retrieve something from under a dresser, and got her arm wedged and couldn't get out. Her front door was locked, so we had to call the fire department. They opened a window to get in and freed her from the evil clutches of the furniture.
 
2012-06-18 09:09:51 AM  

ConcreteHole: she's damn lucky Darwin's missed her so far


Yeah, well, at age 67 Darwin doesn't care anymore...
 
2012-06-18 09:10:50 AM  
TFA: Deputies decided to force their way into her home

What's the law on this? Do they need a warrant?
 
2012-06-18 09:21:51 AM  

BokerBill: TFA: Deputies decided to force their way into her home

What's the law on this? Do they need a warrant?


Exigent circumstances?

/IANAL
 
2012-06-18 09:23:13 AM  

AverageAmericanGuy: If you're an elderly person, you really should get a LifeAlert bracelet or necklace. This is exactly the type of thing that technology is designed to help with.

If commercials showing grannies dramatically careening off the top step of the stairs isn't going to convince you, at least look to this real life example of what can happen to you.


Done in 6

/Seriously can't understand why more seniors don't have it
 
2012-06-18 09:39:17 AM  

BokerBill: ConcreteHole: she's damn lucky Darwin's missed her so far

Yeah, well, at age 67 Darwin doesn't care anymore...


I know, just voicing my surprise that he allowed her to last that long in the first place.
 
2012-06-18 10:05:22 AM  
Tony and his goons came to talk and Virigina threw them out. She went home and began moving furniture, but the dresser fell on her. Trapped under the dresser, she survived the week by eating her preserves and preserved her sanity by dribbling a basketball that was barely within reach of her one free hand. She made a game of it: seeing how many times she could bounce the ball in a day, then trying to break that record.
 
2012-06-18 10:26:09 AM  
 
2012-06-18 10:39:59 AM  
0118 999 88199 9119 725........3
 
2012-06-18 11:03:36 AM  

GoodOmens: No references to this epic thread(Besides the thread title)?

Sad.


Want to know how I know you did not look at this whole thread?

Dallymo: Freaky. I was *just* revisiting the Ballsack Conundrum thread not thirty seconds ago.


weemonkey: Kneecap Conundrum?

 
2012-06-18 12:11:03 PM  
What the fark? 67 is not particularly old. Vincd McMahon, Diane Sawyer, Debbie Harry, and Steve Martin are all 67 this year. We're not exactly talking about an age where a person would be a helpless frail old lady yet.
 
2012-06-18 12:45:36 PM  
i172.photobucket.com
 
2012-06-18 03:20:45 PM  
 
2012-06-19 12:17:23 PM  
Was the dresser a Farbman? Karl Farbman makes GREAT furniture. Cosmo Kramer, not available for comment.
 
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