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(Some Guy)   Will a 17-year old win a major? A 42-year old? Will anyone shoot under par? Can Eldrick keep his hands off the 17-year old's mom? It's your official 2012 U.S. Open thread   (usopen.com) divider line 373
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841 clicks; posted to Sports » on 17 Jun 2012 at 5:00 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-06-17 04:48:38 PM
Gotta admit even though he has no chance, I'm pulling for the 17 year old.
 
2012-06-17 05:27:08 PM
Horn dog is screwing the pooch.
 
2012-06-17 05:28:52 PM
Tiger is bogey, bogey, double bogey to start his round.

Did he forget that high numbers don't win?
 
2012-06-17 05:35:29 PM
If you were watching for Tiger to stage a dramatic come-from-behind victory... you've still got time to look for your tape of the 2008 Open.
 
2012-06-17 05:38:05 PM
Gonz:
There's a non-zero chance that I could go bogey, bogey, double to start a round at Olympic under US Open conditions. Of course, I'd be estatic about it.



1) from the de facto US Open thread below (mods, why do you hate Sports Tab so much?)

2) my response: I hate "non-zero".

integers are positive whole numbers, negative whole numbers, and zero. so "non zero" to me implies the event includes negative whole numbers, which means if you are saying 'non zero", then you are entertaining the -2 or whatever chance that something will occur.
 
2012-06-17 05:38:15 PM

Jimmyboy: Gotta admit even though he has no chance, I'm pulling for the 17 year old.


Well, he looked tough on #1. Bet he finishes in the top 10.

/hey, lame headline, but my first greenlight! Coolio.
 
2012-06-17 05:39:09 PM
GAAAH sorry for the html farkup.
 
2012-06-17 05:40:04 PM
love Speith going out of his way to avoid stepping on the line to pick up his ball, and then after picking it up, tromping all over the line he evidently tried to avoid.
 
2012-06-17 05:40:57 PM

knbber2: Horn dog is screwing the pooch.


thesebootsaremadeforstalking.com

This is what happens when you fark with primal karmic forces of nature.
 
2012-06-17 05:42:33 PM

AliceBToklasLives: Jimmyboy: Gotta admit even though he has no chance, I'm pulling for the 17 year old.

Well, he looked tough on #1. Bet he finishes in the top 10.

/hey, lame headline, but my first greenlight! Coolio.


Yay green!

/I submitted this with a dumber headline
 
2012-06-17 05:47:32 PM
Tiger, Tiger, Tiger.... I have a thread bookmarked from long ago that I was so hoping to reference when you won today. Sadly, it will remain in wait, as you are playing LIKE A farkING HACK!
 
2012-06-17 05:51:37 PM
"Tiger and Phil are playing like 5-year-olds"

/paraphrase
//not quite sure what it means, except they both suck today
 
2012-06-17 05:53:56 PM
Phil Mickelson steps up and drains a solid 5-footer for par. This can only mean one thing- that he's out of contention.
 
2012-06-17 05:54:24 PM

AliceBToklasLives: "Tiger and Phil are playing like 5-year-olds"




Jonny Miller I think would have CRUCIFIED Tiger for that shot, and instead let Phil off relatively lightly, and not without dragging Tiger into it.

Major Sunday, and he wedges from the apron to a 2 foot bounce, then the ball rolls 3 feet backward?

Miller would have had Tiger for lunch had he done that.
 
2012-06-17 05:56:51 PM
47 minutes since this was greened. 10 comments in. I guess no one really does care about golf unless tiggers in it.

/shame too. I wasn't rooting for him as he comes off as a smugahole with a wooden personality.
//rooting for the kid with the hot mom.
 
2012-06-17 05:57:00 PM

rickythepenguin: Miller would have had Tiger for lunch had he done that.


Phil's 15 over. Johnny doesn't enjoy destroying someone that far out of the lead, because then he can't accuse them of choking.
 
2012-06-17 05:57:42 PM

Igor Jakovsky: 47 minutes since this was greened. 10 comments in. I guess no one really does care about golf unless tiggers in it.

/shame too. I wasn't rooting for him as he comes off as a smugahole with a wooden personality.
//rooting for the kid with the hot mom.


As are we all.
 
2012-06-17 05:59:47 PM

Gonz: Phil's 15 over. Johnny doesn't enjoy destroying someone that far out of the lead, because then he can't accuse them of choking.



yeah, but.....you have 6 major wins and you do that on Major Sunday....Johnny let him off when he would still be ragging out Tiger.
 
2012-06-17 06:02:50 PM
From the other thread:

The Smails Kid: Gonz: The Smails Kid: Gonz: (Insert generic Matt Kuchar comment here)

Was he the one who got christened "Generic PGA Golfer" during the Master's thread?

And I was the one who christened him thus. Then the dude went and won The Players, so I've started to look for a new Generic PGA Tour Guy.

Bo van Pelt?


Solid choice. The essence of Generic PGA Tour Guy is somebody who's good, but not excellent.

If they weren't Euros, Henrik Stenson and Frederik Jacobson would be leading contenders for the title. Steven Ames, maybe?
 
2012-06-17 06:07:47 PM
Has anyone else noticed the horrendous shirt/tie combos on all the commentators today? I feel like some sort of joke is being played on the viewing audience.
 
2012-06-17 06:09:27 PM

cameroncrazy1984: Tiger is bogey, bogey, double bogey to start his round.

Did he forget that high numbers don't win?


Im OK with this
 
2012-06-17 06:12:37 PM
With the fog, the brown "greens," and a guy from Northern Ireland tied for the lead, I swear I'm watching that other Open.

/why the "USA" chant during McDowell's tee shot?
 
2012-06-17 06:14:18 PM

Gonz: From the other thread:

The Smails Kid: Gonz: The Smails Kid: Gonz: (Insert generic Matt Kuchar comment here)

Was he the one who got christened "Generic PGA Golfer" during the Master's thread?

And I was the one who christened him thus. Then the dude went and won The Players, so I've started to look for a new Generic PGA Tour Guy.

Bo van Pelt?

Solid choice. The essence of Generic PGA Tour Guy is somebody who's good, but not excellent.

If they weren't Euros, Henrik Stenson and Frederik Jacobson would be leading contenders for the title. Steven Ames, maybe?


I don't even know who Steven Ames is, so maybe.
 
2012-06-17 06:15:05 PM

AliceBToklasLives: With the fog, the brown "greens," and a guy from Northern Ireland tied for the lead, I swear I'm watching that other Open.

/why the "USA" chant during McDowell's tee shot?


To prove that no geographic region of the US has a monopoly on drunken, boorish assholes?
 
2012-06-17 06:16:03 PM

Igor Jakovsky: 47 minutes since this was greened. 10 comments in. I guess no one really does care about golf unless tiggers in it.

/shame too. I wasn't rooting for him as he comes off as a smugahole with a wooden personality.
//rooting for the kid with the hot mom.


Yay! That guy is here!
 
2012-06-17 06:18:22 PM
U suck Hossler
 
2012-06-17 06:18:25 PM

The Smails Kid: I don't even know who Steven Ames is, so maybe.


He won the 2006 Players. I'm actually changing my mind on that being a disqualifier, since the list of Players Champions reads like a who's who of Generic PGA Tour Guy since they changed its name. Matt Kuchar, Henrik Stenson, and Steven Ames have all won it. Mark McCumber won it, and you don't get more Generic Pro Golfer than Mark McCumber.
 
2012-06-17 06:20:49 PM

mikaloyd: U suck Hossler


He's 17 farking years old, has braces on his teeth and he's smoking some of the best golfers in the world. And his mom is hot so you shut your whore mouth right now.
 
2012-06-17 06:22:45 PM
Nice shot
 
2012-06-17 06:23:13 PM

Gonz: The Smails Kid: I don't even know who Steven Ames is, so maybe.

He won the 2006 Players. I'm actually changing my mind on that being a disqualifier, since the list of Players Champions reads like a who's who of Generic PGA Tour Guy since they changed its name. Matt Kuchar, Henrik Stenson, and Steven Ames have all won it. Mark McCumber won it, and you don't get more Generic Pro Golfer than Mark McCumber.


Yeah I would say winning a major would really be the only performance-based disqualifier. You can win a FedEx Cup event, the Players, and be on the Ryder Cup and still be Generic PGA Tour Guy.

If you have a hype machine, a la Sergio Garcia or Rickie Fowler, that's right out.
 
2012-06-17 06:23:19 PM
Damn Tiger. Way to shiat the bed.

Go Ernie!
 
2012-06-17 06:23:56 PM

Lt. Cheese Weasel: mikaloyd: U suck Hossler

He's 17 farking years old, has braces on his teeth and he's smoking some of the best golfers in the world. And his mom is hot so you shut your whore mouth right now.


Dont bother me with your crushes.
 
2012-06-17 06:27:44 PM
Oh ernie what a putt
 
2012-06-17 06:27:52 PM
Wonder what Tiger's excuse will be? The cameraman that he ran into yesterday or the fog?
 
2012-06-17 06:28:36 PM
Jim Furyk should put out an instructional video. I think it would sell.
 
2012-06-17 06:29:56 PM
It's looking to me that a lot of these missed putts don't seem to have a lot of movement on them. Is it that the greens are fast, faster/slower than expected, hard to read, or what?
 
2012-06-17 06:30:06 PM

mikaloyd: Lt. Cheese Weasel: mikaloyd: U suck Hossler

He's 17 farking years old, has braces on his teeth and he's smoking some of the best golfers in the world. And his mom is hot so you shut your whore mouth right now.

Dont bother me with your crushes.


img4.imageshack.us

Somebody has to do something dammnit!
 
2012-06-17 06:30:47 PM

Gonz: Jim Furyk should put out an instructional video. I think it would sell.


You owe me one swallow of gin & tonic and a Neti pot.
 
2012-06-17 06:31:54 PM

Vinz_Clortho: Wonder what Tiger's excuse will be? The cameraman that he ran into yesterday or the fog?


Tiger's a lot of things, but a whiny biatch isn't one of them.
 
2012-06-17 06:32:22 PM
One thing I'd like to see (hear): announcers shutting up when the player/caddie conversation is audible. Or is there some golf etiquette thing going on here?
 
2012-06-17 06:33:21 PM

AliceBToklasLives: One thing I'd like to see (hear): announcers shutting up when the player/caddie conversation is audible. Or is there some golf etiquette thing going on here?


FTFY
 
2012-06-17 06:34:16 PM

Gonz: Jim Furyk should put out an instructional video. I think it would sell.


1) Don't smile, ever.
2) F*ck Tiger's game up
3) Profit.
 
2012-06-17 06:36:30 PM

The Smails Kid: Gonz: Jim Furyk should put out an instructional video. I think it would sell.

You owe me one swallow of gin & tonic and a Neti pot.


No, I'm serious, but not for the reason you'd think. I'd buy a copy for everyone I normally play with, and tell 'em it's a joke. Then, the next time we're on the course, I'd ask 'em about it. Can you imagine someone trying to fight off thinking about Jim Furyk's mechanics during their backswing?
 
2012-06-17 06:37:58 PM

The Smails Kid: Igor Jakovsky: 47 minutes since this was greened. 10 comments in. I guess no one really does care about golf unless tiggers in it.

/shame too. I wasn't rooting for him as he comes off as a smugahole with a wooden personality.
//rooting for the kid with the hot mom.

Yay! That guy is here!


My first sentence was sarcasm sort of. The "shame too" part was genuine. I'm enjoying the open and at this point am rooting for Furyk. I am also rooting for the amateur who is having issues at the moment. As far as being "that guy" goes...I'm the guy who goes to the honda classic every year and next year Im going to yell get in the hole on a par 5. Beer will be involved.
 
2012-06-17 06:39:34 PM

The Smails Kid: Vinz_Clortho: Wonder what Tiger's excuse will be? The cameraman that he ran into yesterday or the fog?

Tiger's a lot of things, but a whiny biatch isn't one of them.


Tiger blames a bird for a Tiger fark-up
 
2012-06-17 06:41:03 PM

Igor Jakovsky: The Smails Kid: Igor Jakovsky: 47 minutes since this was greened. 10 comments in. I guess no one really does care about golf unless tiggers in it.

/shame too. I wasn't rooting for him as he comes off as a smugahole with a wooden personality.
//rooting for the kid with the hot mom.

Yay! That guy is here!

My first sentence was sarcasm sort of. The "shame too" part was genuine. I'm enjoying the open and at this point am rooting for Furyk. I am also rooting for the amateur who is having issues at the moment. As far as being "that guy" goes...I'm the guy who goes to the honda classic every year and next year Im going to yell get in the hole on a par 5. Beer will be involved.


OK I'll allow it, but I'll have to see a Caddyshack quote out of you to truly believe.
 
2012-06-17 06:42:48 PM
"excuse me, stewardess, I speak jive Irish gibberish"
 
2012-06-17 06:42:56 PM
Unless someone withdraws or is DQ'd, by my count there will be 31 players left in the battle for the best combined 16 rounds at the 2012 majors (something I feel deserves a medal or some sort of cash prize).

Charl Schwartzel and Phil Mickelson both made their 11th consecutive major cut this weekend, and that is the longest current streak.
 
2012-06-17 06:43:43 PM

mikaloyd: The Smails Kid: Vinz_Clortho: Wonder what Tiger's excuse will be? The cameraman that he ran into yesterday or the fog?

Tiger's a lot of things, but a whiny biatch isn't one of them.

Tiger blames a bird for a Tiger fark-up


LOL as soon as I said that I knew I'd be eating crow.

That said, biatching about distractions during your backswing is different than blaming the weather or a post-round "injury," which is not typical of Tiger.

/yes I know he won't sleep with me
//but really, can anyone be sure of that?
 
2012-06-17 06:44:21 PM

Igor Jakovsky: I'm the guy who goes to the honda classic every year and next year Im going to yell get in the hole on a par 5. Beer will be involved.


I go to the Texas Open every year. If you can somehow provide verification that it was you doing this- maybe a certain hat or something- I will reciprocate.
 
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