I doubt seriously they'd come to mate with us, but some of the others seem like pretty broad assumptions

Speculating about what hypothetical aliens might hypothetically do if they land here in some unknown future based on no knowledge of them whatsoever? At least at the end of a real life circle jerk, the participants have a little something to show for it.

all of this has happened before....

GAT_00: They won't come in peace

Yeah, this is one of those that you have to think through. As I figure, any species powerful to get here, since best as we can tell that is very expensive, difficult and time consuming, is doing it with a specific purpose: they want what is here.

Which assumes they'd be as stupid, shortsighted, and greedy as we are

/if that were the case, they'd never get here
//just like we'll never get off of this planet

GAT_00: MaudlinMutantMollusk: GAT_00: They won't come in peace

Yeah, this is one of those that you have to think through. As I figure, any species powerful to get here, since best as we can tell that is very expensive, difficult and time consuming, is doing it with a specific purpose: they want what is here.

Which assumes they'd be as stupid, shortsighted, and greedy as we are

/if that were the case, they'd never get here
//just like we'll never get off of this planet

If they were a decaying remnant of their civilization escaping with the last resources they might.

Ya know... that might make a good plot for a SyFy channel movie

/or maybe even a summer blockbuster with the right star
//I wonder what Adam Sandler is up to?

More likely they'd want to hire us as cheap foreign labor.

That we are smart enough to detect and immediately recognize alien communication.

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Yeah, this is one of those that you have to think through. As I figure, any species powerful to get here, since best as we can tell that is very expensive, difficult and time consuming, is doing it with a specific purpose: they want what is here.

Which assumes they'd be as stupid, shortsighted, and greedy as we are


We just had this thread a short while ago. Let me repeat what I wrote:

Everything we've learned about life and the Universe so far points to the fact that other life-forms are constrained by the same chemicals, forces and basic physical realities as us. It stands to reason that since multi-cellular life's purpose on Earth is to propagate itself by consuming other life, it's likely the mandate for multi-cellular space-faring species also.

Of course, I have no data pooled from worlds other than this one so these are all big assumptions. But they're damn good ones.

There's nothing an alien race could or would want to learn from us that they don't already know or care about. If they come here for any reason at all, it's because our planet has lots of delicious resources. And any extraterrestrial race technologically advanced enough for interstellar travel is so far beyond our level that they would probably regard us the way we would regard a hornet nest in a fallow field we're about to plow: Annoying, insignificant - and in the way.

Fark you, Subby. It's the only way I'm gonna get some. Let me dream!

:-p

Unlike the common beliefs, aliens are not attracted to the sexy women, but instead find overweight unkemp men very sexy and abduct them all from Earth. Take that, lonely overweight unsexed guys!

Ishkur: MaudlinMutantMollusk: Yeah, this is one of those that you have to think through. As I figure, any species powerful to get here, since best as we can tell that is very expensive, difficult and time consuming, is doing it with a specific purpose: they want what is here.

Which assumes they'd be as stupid, shortsighted, and greedy as we are


We just had this thread a short while ago. Let me repeat what I wrote:

Everything we've learned about life and the Universe so far points to the fact that other life-forms are constrained by the same chemicals, forces and basic physical realities as us. It stands to reason that since multi-cellular life's purpose on Earth is to propagate itself by consuming other life, it's likely the mandate for multi-cellular space-faring species also.

Of course, I have no data pooled from worlds other than this one so these are all big assumptions. But they're damn good ones.

There's nothing an alien race could or would want to learn from us that they don't already know or care about. If they come here for any reason at all, it's because our planet has lots of delicious resources. And any extraterrestrial race technologically advanced enough for interstellar travel is so far beyond our level that they would probably regard us the way we would regard a hornet nest in a fallow field we're about to plow: Annoying, insignificant - and in the way.

The problem, as I see it, is that all these assumptions are based on Human behavior because 1) we have absolutely zero data or experience with anything else, and 2) a failure of imagination. Basically, the same general things that limit us as a species, but I digress.
The galaxy is an awfully big place with chemicals and resources scattered far and wide. Why would a species need to travel such incredible distances just to acquire resources?

No one has made a reference to Femalien or Chasey Lain saves the World?

I don't know, if I knew I had a solid booty call on lock down, I'd travel millions of miles through space to get to it.

LoneWolf343: Anthropological curiosity. It's less popular than it is now, but people used to go visit obscure tribes in unindustrialized countries just to say that they did.

/Imagine some of the stories they would bring back to their people.
//"Humans think their dead can smell. We know because they bring flowers to their death rituals."

Just imagine what they would make of our porn.

3 tits? That's awesome.



/hot

What we really need to be worried about is an alien race in a desperate flight from another alien race that appears on our doorstep because we are meddling with interdimensional travel. Weird and incomprehensible alien life forms will pour through this rift in time and space while a man in a black suit who's grasp english is impressive but strangely inflected will give us cryptic guidance.

Reminds me of a Private Eye cartoon: two aliens meet on the street with their mates, one of whom is a walrus and the other is a dumpy woman.

Caption: "That's the way it is here. Either they're good-looking or they can cook."

I think the cartoonists have a much better grip on reality than scientists or escapist literature writers.

Support your cartoonists! They are the way forward for mankind.

Speaking of sex with aliens and cartoonists, the late great Kliban did a cartoon of "Genitalia of the Universe" which should put paid to that idea. Even the examination of the genitalia preserved at the famous Penis Museum would show you that there is sufficient diversity even among mammals that sex with aliens might not be a practical option: consider the pig, the whale, the rat, and the duck (not a mammal, but weird nonetheless). Sexual organs are subject to a sexual arms race which makes for weirdness, impracticality and even a certain amount of hostilitiy within a species, let alone between species.

Before having sex with an alien, study the scientific and pornographic literature intensively. Find out if it involves one partner eating the other, for example. Also, whether the kind of penetration involved can be fatal to humans (the squid is a recent example).

Are alien young a threat to their parents? Are they parasitic? Are sex changes usual for the species you are farking? If so, will you marry a handsome lithe male only to have him turn into a fat vicious female in a few years?

The main point about aliens is that they are alien, and that you will never quite be able to imagine or understand them, no matter how much they make it easy for your tiny simian brain, slathered on a rodent brain, on top of a reptilian brain, wrapped around a fish brain.

Nakito: It's a cookbook.

Hot Sex for Black Widow Spiders is a cookbook.

Chances are that if an alien race were to drop in and say hi, I'd like to think it'd be because finding an intelligent species is rare in the known universe.

POINT: Don't expect them to think like us.

In recorded history, we've run into that with our own species. Even today there are communication difficulties between countries because we tend to think differently.

I watched a video from China where this guy pulled into a parking area with lots of people walking around. He plowed over a little girl of about three. The wheel of his van went right over her. He stopped and as folks looked on, backed up, running her over again and drove off. No one stopped him. No one checked on the little girl who was bleeding out. No one called the cops or rescue. Several minutes went by with the girl laying there before a lady checked, then got the girl's mom, who scooped her up and took her to the hospital. The last report I had was that the girl was in critical condition but alive.

The mass reaction of a group of possibly 50 people doing their daily business to a crushed kid bleeding out was essentially 'not my problem'. I studied the crowd. Many would look, note the girl and keep on walking.

China, after centuries of suppression and turmoil, does NOT think like us.
Various areas of the Middle East, even the oil rich areas, have no problem with stoning a criminal to death or beheading one. Their version of beheading is not what you think. (A big blade, kneeling prisoner and a chopping block.) No. The prisoner is heavily tranquilized, bound up and the executioner removes his head with a knife, like butchering a pig, taking time to slice the tendons, letting him bleed out, then digging around in the neck, cutting through cartilage and bone until the head comes off.

We'd find this horrifying. They don't.

In some nations, various social classes are treated like animals with no hope of change since they were born into the caste. The population accepts this. Our own global history shows that ALL RACES in the past had no problems with forcing others into slavery and had a history of being slaves themselves.

Recently, our own government changed the laws concerning eminent dominion, meaning confiscating land for the good of the nation. Now, land can be confiscated for the good of the developer -- and very few seem to have a problem with this.

We have a legacy of being lied to by businesses. Even today in advertising. We accept that. In some places, this would not be accepted. If you brag about how your product is the number one in the land, you'd better have actual proof of this.

We tend to consider aliens as being like ourselves, which is probably a good reason for them to stay away. Our morals and values shift along national boundaries. Our 'civilized condition' changes depending on amounts of available needed resources. Our 'rights' fluxuate depending on our national economies.

It's hard to grasp the concept of an alien intelligence not thinking like us. After all, we've had super smart people who had no problem with abandoning ethics to further their research or to enrich themselves at the cost of many lives.

I'd like to figure that aliens are friendly and helpful, like in so many science fiction books I've read, but the hard fact is, their version of friendly might not be ours.

Like when Columbus landed on a small island, found it populated and the people very friendly, gentle and kind. He admired their technology, their society and their beauty. At the same time, he was making notes about how valuable they would be as SLAVES and how much money could be made off them.

He had no problem with this.

Trying to grasp the thinking of a species nothing like our own is nearly impossible -- and, somewhat scary.

We mainly rely on our own historical experiences. Even with our advanced civilization today, you must be cautious when dealing with members of your own kind. New technologies also tend to bring along a whole new set of abuses and criminal activities.

It's hard to imagine a civilization that wouldn't do that.

Joshudan: If they don't want to mate with us, then why all the probing?

They use crap as a fuel. Those aren't medical probes. They're dipsticks.

God forbid they ever abduct Rush Limbaugh. He's so full of crap that they'll invade our planet looking for more like him.

What if they're aliens that don't have good social lives?

/Where all the green women at?

brantgoose: Speaking of sex with aliens and cartoonists, the late great Kliban did a cartoon of "Genitalia of the Universe" which should put paid to that idea. Even the examination of the genitalia preserved at the famous Penis Museum would show you that there is sufficient diversity even among mammals that sex with aliens might not be a practical option: consider the pig, the whale, the rat, and the duck (not a mammal, but weird nonetheless). Sexual organs are subject to a sexual arms race which makes for weirdness, impracticality and even a certain amount of hostilitiy within a species, let alone between species.

Before having sex with an alien, study the scientific and pornographic literature intensively. Find out if it involves one partner eating the other, for example. Also, whether the kind of penetration involved can be fatal to humans (the squid is a recent example).

Are alien young a threat to their parents? Are they parasitic? Are sex changes usual for the species you are farking? If so, will you marry a handsome lithe male only to have him turn into a fat vicious female in a few years?

The main point about aliens is that they are alien, and that you will never quite be able to imagine or understand them, no matter how much they make it easy for your tiny simian brain, slathered on a rodent brain, on top of a reptilian brain, wrapped around a fish brain.

Doesn't matter. If aliens show up, you find the nearest hole and cram your dick into it for all Earth.

Aliens probably have the same problems we do: they're too far away to know that we're here, and couldn't travel that far anyway. To them, we are a tiny white dot in their sky, Sol. At that distance, knowing that there's a rock planet orbiting the star is hard. Any radio signal we could possibly send would be so attenuated that it would disappear in the radiation from our star.

Aliens are almost certainly out there, but they're not going to find us, and we're not going to find them.

GAT_00: They won't come in peace

Yeah, this is one of those that you have to think through. As I figure, any species powerful to get here, since best as we can tell that is very expensive, difficult and time consuming, is doing it with a specific purpose: they want what is here.

Going along that line of reasoning, what's so special here that isn't available in ANY solar system in the galaxy (with or without life). Metals? Hell they woudln't even need to come to earth, there's way more metal out in the asteroid belt. Water? Why mix it up with the natives when they could mine ice off Europa?

Why come all this way for resources that would be absurdly cost prohibative to move off system? We are not really that special. there is nothing here anyone would want (except maybe a slave force but they wouldn't have to conquer the planet for that. kidnap a few hundred humans and you have breeding stock).

ronaprhys: Wanting to bang another species. Isn't that what furries do?

Non-sentient species.

I only fark the sentient ones.

It's hilarious that everyone is stating their wild hypothetical suppositions as fact. I'm really surprised Stephen Hawking participated in this intellectual wank-fest.

MaudlinMutantMollusk: GAT_00: MaudlinMutantMollusk: GAT_00: They won't come in peace

Yeah, this is one of those that you have to think through. As I figure, any species powerful to get here, since best as we can tell that is very expensive, difficult and time consuming, is doing it with a specific purpose: they want what is here.

Which assumes they'd be as stupid, shortsighted, and greedy as we are

/if that were the case, they'd never get here
//just like we'll never get off of this planet

If they were a decaying remnant of their civilization escaping with the last resources they might.

Ya know... that might make a good plot for a SyFy channel movie

/or maybe even a summer blockbuster with the right star
//I wonder what Adam Sandler is up to?



/From what I can see, the entire thing depends on where they evolved. That's where the prediction part comes in.
//First message will probably be 'holy f*ck, aliens! ...Wait, my mike's on, isn't it."

Why do people automatically think visiting aliens would be smarter or more civilized than us? What if their civilization is 5,000 years older than ours? 3,000 ago Egyptians built pyramids. I don't know how to build a pyramid. But I can fly a chopper and shoot a gun. Given enough ammo I could be a Pharaoh, balls deep in Cleopatra. Are we really any more civilized now than we were 3,000 years ago? Maybe these hypothetical aliens are at the point where any drunken alien douchbag can pilot his own Star Destroyer.

So my original point was that all this conjecture about how these hypothetical aliens would behave or what their motives would be is meaningless conjecture based on parameters you all just made up based on what you hope we would be like when/if we developed FTL space travel.

Lawnchair: And that's even attaching too much value. There are things on Earth in reasonably abundant/accessible quantities compared to elsewhere in the Solar System. But, there is no reason to think that there's anything even slightly interesting resource-wise on Earth (or even the Solar System) that isn't just as abundant in any of billion other star systems.

Heavy elements aren't.

Gold and Uranium are hard to come by. And despite Star Trek insistence, there is no cost-effective method for transmuting energy to matter that would not require more energy than whatever it is you're trying to transmute. So if they want/need heavy elements, they're going to have to mine for them manually.

Anything heavier than iron-56 can only come from one place: Supernovae. And in a galaxy as big as this one, supernovae are actually pretty rare -- about one every 100 years or so. And I would like to think that it would be an incredibly tedious task to mine heavy element molecules from exploded star dust and debris scattered across light-years of space, so if they want the goods, it'd be easiest to get them after they've coalesced into planets.

Fortunately, the Milky Way is an old galaxy (an estimated 80% of the stars are dwarfs), which means there are lots of second and third generation systems, which means lots of heavy element-baring planets and other things that are favorable toward life.

So the good news is if they need resources, they definitely don't have to come here for them. But that doesn't say they won't.

In the comic Invincible, the main character discovers a race of subterranean martians that speak English. When the character asks how they learned it, the alien replies, "What's English?" And that's that.

I love it just for the sheer, gleeful, "You can't prove a sentient race wouldn't evolve a language identical to English!!!! NYAH NYAH!!"

/yeah, it's unlikely to the point of being near-impossible
//but it could be accurate for all we know

Bauer: once you have mastered interstellar lightspeed travel...you're good.

shostak is an idiot and a shill.

-jesus, people.

get the fear out of your ears.

What does that even mean?