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(Digital Journal)   "He wanted the dead bodies to send a message to other squirrels not to trespass on his property"   (digitaljournal.com) divider line 26
    More: Unlikely, trespasses, backyards  
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8799 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 Jun 2012 at 7:25 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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Archived thread
2012-06-17 07:34:47 AM  
6 votes:
One year I stuck a stuffed-animal dog head on a stick an put it in my garden area. I knew dogs would not care, but I found that a lot fewer neighbours decided to let their dogs piss on my flowers.
2012-06-17 08:59:13 AM  
4 votes:
He should put a chipmunk's head in their bed.
2012-06-17 09:11:46 AM  
3 votes:
He can't use the "stand your ground" defense, because the squirrels weren't black
2012-06-17 08:31:52 AM  
3 votes:
He should've used a squirrel catapult to launch them back into the neighbor's yard. Probably still would've gotten arrested, though.
i.ytimg.com


/Where is Eddie? He usually eats these goddam things.
2012-06-17 08:20:55 AM  
3 votes:
i231.photobucket.com
2012-06-17 07:36:49 AM  
3 votes:

Gothnet: FirstNationalBastard: Just wait until the squirrels organize...

Organize?

God dammit, that's the last thing we need, squirrel unions constantly asking for more nuts, squirrel teamsters threatening to strike and impede honest squirrel businesses from competing in the squirrel marketplace. Squirrel politicians running for squirrel president on a platform of intolerance for squirresexuals, or deporting all the black squirrels back to Canada where they came from, squirrel senators living fat off the nuts that other squirrels collect, taking bribes to ensure their buddies get all the prime trees. Squirrel congresssquirrels legislating o'squirrel-care into being, taking choice of squirrel insurance away from the average squirrel on the street, squirrel supreme court legislating from the bench about squirbortions, SPOTUS declaring war on the marmots of central asia with only the red squirrels of england for backup....

I see what you mean, the future is a scary place.


idealab.fstudio.com
2012-06-17 07:33:01 AM  
3 votes:
Squirrels are just rats with a PR budget.
2012-06-17 10:36:18 AM  
2 votes:
I actually quite like squirrels. I think they are cute. I don't even mind when they attack my bird feeders.
What I don't like are crows. Great big noisy, flying, friggin scavenger rats, is what those things are. There are times in the winter when they attack every garbage can in the neighborhood and just make a huge mess of things.
I've actually walked up to a group of them in my garbage can, and got literally 6 inches away before they finally flew off.

In related news: I once got punched by a pigeon. It was in Philadelphia after all. I shouldn't have been surprised.
2012-06-17 10:07:35 AM  
2 votes:

Count Dyscalculia: What? Not one comment about "he shouldn't have taken matters into his own hands" spoken by an authority figure? It's as if they are equating him popping a few squirrels with a pellet gun and him walking over to thesuspected neighborhood thief and shooting him while yelling "There! That'll teach you you fekkin bastard!"

It also begs the question, out of whos hands the matter was taken. The Police? Animal Control? The Local pest control company? Cops; A squirrel...GTFO. Animal Control; Hahaha, squirrel....noob! Local Pest Control Co. ; $500 upfront w/no guarantee.

As for the nosey neighboor...well he should have known about the crazy old coont living next door as there is almost a 100% certainty that shes the one feeding the little bastards and watching them all the time for enjoyment. As such he should have found a way to distract her...and also NOT hang them up for show.


If I called animal control over some freakin' squirrels, I would fully expect within the next five minutes to see a monster truck pull up in my drive way, and a couple of beefy guys get out wearing flannel and tool belts, walk up to my front door and beat on it resoundingly until I answered, then grab me in a headlock and demand I turn in my man card on the spot.
2012-06-17 10:02:08 AM  
2 votes:
phenn [TotalFark] 2012-06-17 09:38:39 AM

Not sure I understand the squirrel hate. Around here, they really don't cause any dramas. Just hang out in the oak trees and scold the neighborhood cats


I was in Washington D.C. I'd spent a lovely day at the Smithsonian American History Museum and I was enjoying lunch on a park bench. A squirrel walks up to me and begs for a cheese curl. I said no. The squirrel gets closer. This thing was pretty big and reminded me of Stitch.

I throw a few cheese curls a few feet away but he doesn't see this and he wants the ones in my hand. I get up and walk away. The squirrel follows me. I walk in another direction, the squirrel continues to follow me.

I try to shoo it with my roller bag. It won't leave me alone. I finally appeal to a group of strangers to help me and it takes me and a crowd of other people to shoo the squirrel away. It still continues to watch me through some bars and a man finally decides to wait with me at the bus stop. The squirrel does not walk away entirely until I get on the bus. I half expected to see the scary bastard at my next stop.

So I hate squirrels and I despise people who feed the nasty little buggers.

Please, don't feed the squirrels.
2012-06-17 09:13:49 AM  
2 votes:

rkelley25: He can't use the "stand your ground" defense, because the squirrels weren't black


He should've sprinkled crack/Skittles on the corpses.
2012-06-17 09:13:15 AM  
2 votes:

rkelley25: He can't use the "stand your ground" defense, because the squirrels weren't black


www.sugarbushsquirrel.com
2012-06-17 07:35:28 AM  
2 votes:

FirstNationalBastard: Just wait until the squirrels organize...


Organize?

God dammit, that's the last thing we need, squirrel unions constantly asking for more nuts, squirrel teamsters threatening to strike and impede honest squirrel businesses from competing in the squirrel marketplace. Squirrel politicians running for squirrel president on a platform of intolerance for squirresexuals, or deporting all the black squirrels back to Canada where they came from, squirrel senators living fat off the nuts that other squirrels collect, taking bribes to ensure their buddies get all the prime trees. Squirrel congresssquirrels legislating o'squirrel-care into being, taking choice of squirrel insurance away from the average squirrel on the street, squirrel supreme court legislating from the bench about squirbortions, SPOTUS declaring war on the marmots of central asia with only the red squirrels of england for backup....

I see what you mean, the future is a scary place.
2012-06-17 07:27:52 AM  
2 votes:
Just wait until the squirrels organize...
2012-06-17 10:56:55 AM  
1 votes:

FirstNationalBastard: Just wait until the squirrels organize...


i283.photobucket.com
2012-06-17 10:14:46 AM  
1 votes:

ox45tallboy: phenn: Not sure I understand the squirrel hate. Around here, they really don't cause any dramas. Just hang out in the oak trees and scold the neighborhood cats.

You've never had the farkers knaw their way into your house and set up shop in your attic, have you? It gets kind of hard to sleep when they're running trials for the 100m dash in preparation for the 2014 Squirrel Olympics six feet above your head.


I had a raccoon do that once.... I wanted to strangle him with my leather gloves on.
2012-06-17 10:05:34 AM  
1 votes:
I couldn't kill all the little tree rats around my house with a machine gun, but I understand that he didn't want them in the house. They can be very destructive. Around here we call them natures little speed bumps.
2012-06-17 10:04:10 AM  
1 votes:
Good old dad converted a bug zapper to a squirrel zapper. Also works on other small rodents.
2012-06-17 09:02:58 AM  
1 votes:
www.veryicon.com

Run.
2012-06-17 08:56:15 AM  
1 votes:

jmadisonbiii: He should've used a squirrel catapult to launch them back into the neighbor's yard. Probably still would've gotten arrested, though.
[i.ytimg.com image 480x360]


/Where is Eddie? He usually eats these goddam things.


I need one of those in my yard.

But, I do have some small birds (parents protecting their nest) that attack the squirrels as they try and eat from their feeder. Pretty funny stuff.
2012-06-17 08:55:23 AM  
1 votes:
farm3.staticflickr.com
'Amateur'
2012-06-17 08:42:27 AM  
1 votes:

Fissile: This guy's real problem is in the way he killed the squirrels. Under N.J. state law, BB guns are classified as firearms. I'm sure his town has laws against discharge of a firearm within city limits.


Umm, I'm no gun enthusiast, but to be a firearm, shouldn't a firearm produce fire of some kind?
Seeing that a BB gun has no firing cap or black powder of any kind, wouldn't classifying them as a firearm be an out and out lie?
2012-06-17 08:34:49 AM  
1 votes:
i must be some sort of monster to these people.

img42.imageshack.us
2012-06-17 07:44:48 AM  
1 votes:
So ... the war has begun.
2012-06-17 07:44:14 AM  
1 votes:

Gothnet: If he was killing them quickly and without cruelty, I'm not sure I really see the problem.

I love animals, and abhor animal cruelty, but they were repeatedly invading the guys house, and it's not like the world is running out of squirrels any time soon. The BB gun makes me think that maybe they weren't being killed outright and fast, and may be the wrong tool for the job, but still.


It's because Obama took his guns away.
2012-06-17 07:33:53 AM  
1 votes:
Squirrels believe they can "confuse" your car by darting and zig-zagging back and forth in the road instead of running straight across it quickly...

...which means the hunter and his prey have at least one thing in common.
 
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