Just wait until the squirrels organize...

Gothnet: FirstNationalBastard: Just wait until the squirrels organize...

Organize?

God dammit, that's the last thing we need, squirrel unions constantly asking for more nuts, squirrel teamsters threatening to strike and impede honest squirrel businesses from competing in the squirrel marketplace. Squirrel politicians running for squirrel president on a platform of intolerance for squirresexuals, or deporting all the black squirrels back to Canada where they came from, squirrel senators living fat off the nuts that other squirrels collect, taking bribes to ensure their buddies get all the prime trees. Squirrel congresssquirrels legislating o'squirrel-care into being, taking choice of squirrel insurance away from the average squirrel on the street, squirrel supreme court legislating from the bench about squirbortions, SPOTUS declaring war on the marmots of central asia with only the red squirrels of england for backup....

I see what you mean, the future is a scary place.

I live in Jersey, and I had squirrel problems at a previous residence. This guy needs to get a lawyer ASAP, because the charges of animal cruelty are complete BS.

First, IT IS NOT ILLEGAL IN N.J. TO DESTROY FERAL SQUIRRELS. That's state law, the town has nothing to do with it. A feral squirrel is any squirrel that is damaging property, or is otherwise a threat to public health. This guy had every right to snuff the furry little bastards after they got into his house. It probably is some violation of local health ordinances to hang animal carrion in your backyard, however.

This guy's real problem is in the way he killed the squirrels. Under N.J. state law, BB guns are classified as firearms. I'm sure his town has laws against discharge of a firearm within city limits.

What he should have done is trapped the squirrels with a live trap, drowned them in a trashcan filled with water, and thrown them in the trash. Yeah, I know, kill traps work good on squirrels, but many N.J. towns forbid kill traps, and there is always the danger you'll kill someone's pet, and that would cost you a lot of money. No, you can't trap and release. IT IS ILLEGAL TO RELEASE A TRAPPED FERAL ANIMAL ON ANY PUBLIC LAND IN THE STATE OF N.J. You can trap a feral animal on private property and release it on PRIVATE property at another location that is owned by you or on property where you have the owner's permission. In reality, it's easier to exterminate them after they have been trapped. Pro exterminators in N.J. trap feral squirrels in live traps, take them back to their place of business, and gas them.

The cops seem to be making up charges because they either don't know what their are doing, or the old biatch next door has some pull down at the municipal building, or there is some history between the cops and this guy.

Like I said, he needs a lawyer ASAP.

Kurmudgeon: Fissile: This guy's real problem is in the way he killed the squirrels. Under N.J. state law, BB guns are classified as firearms. I'm sure his town has laws against discharge of a firearm within city limits.

Umm, I'm no gun enthusiast, but to be a firearm, shouldn't a firearm produce fire of some kind?
Seeing that a BB gun has no firing cap or black powder of any kind, wouldn't classifying them as a firearm be an out and out lie?

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Forget it, Jake, it's Linden-town.

jmadisonbiii: He should've used a squirrel catapult to launch them back into the neighbor's yard. Probably still would've gotten arrested, though.
[i.ytimg.com image 480x360]


/Where is Eddie? He usually eats these goddam things.

I need one of those in my yard.

But, I do have some small birds (parents protecting their nest) that attack the squirrels as they try and eat from their feeder. Pretty funny stuff.

Run.

He can't use the "stand your ground" defense, because the squirrels weren't black

rkelley25: He can't use the "stand your ground" defense, because the squirrels weren't black

Gothnet: If he was killing them quickly and without cruelty, I'm not sure I really see the problem.

I love animals, and abhor animal cruelty, but they were repeatedly invading the guys house, and it's not like the world is running out of squirrels any time soon. The BB gun makes me think that maybe they weren't being killed outright and fast, and may be the wrong tool for the job, but still.

It's New Jersey, I'm actually surprised he's not facing weapons charges.

/should have set up a blind on the second floor so nosy neighbors can't see you and use an air rifle
//collect the carcasses at night

I couldn't kill all the little tree rats around my house with a machine gun, but I understand that he didn't want them in the house. They can be very destructive. Around here we call them natures little speed bumps.

Count Dyscalculia: What? Not one comment about "he shouldn't have taken matters into his own hands" spoken by an authority figure? It's as if they are equating him popping a few squirrels with a pellet gun and him walking over to thesuspected neighborhood thief and shooting him while yelling "There! That'll teach you you fekkin bastard!"

It also begs the question, out of whos hands the matter was taken. The Police? Animal Control? The Local pest control company? Cops; A squirrel...GTFO. Animal Control; Hahaha, squirrel....noob! Local Pest Control Co. ; $500 upfront w/no guarantee.

As for the nosey neighboor...well he should have known about the crazy old coont living next door as there is almost a 100% certainty that shes the one feeding the little bastards and watching them all the time for enjoyment. As such he should have found a way to distract her...and also NOT hang them up for show.

If I called animal control over some freakin' squirrels, I would fully expect within the next five minutes to see a monster truck pull up in my drive way, and a couple of beefy guys get out wearing flannel and tool belts, walk up to my front door and beat on it resoundingly until I answered, then grab me in a headlock and demand I turn in my man card on the spot.

phenn: Not sure I understand the squirrel hate. Around here, they really don't cause any dramas. Just hang out in the oak trees and scold the neighborhood cats.

You've never had the farkers knaw their way into your house and set up shop in your attic, have you? It gets kind of hard to sleep when they're running trials for the 100m dash in preparation for the 2014 Squirrel Olympics six feet above your head.