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(Some spontn80)   Fifth year in a row: What would you say to your Daddy today if you could?   (dangrigor.com) divider line 107
    More: Followup, fifth year  
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4066 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 Jun 2012 at 12:49 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Smartest)
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Archived thread
2012-06-17 01:07:21 AM
4 votes:
(swore off Fark comments but just this once)

My mom got very sick when I was a baby and died when I was 11.
My had held down a job, cared for her at home amazingly well, raised a kid, and damn near killed himself making it all as normal as possible.

My dad taught me how to take on for the team.

When people ask me why I put up with his crap I have no way of explaining that before he was a cranky old guy he was a real life superhero.

We kind of have a deal where we dont talk about anything serious 'cause there is just too much stuff there. But he likes to surf random corners of the internet so maybe he'll see this.

This may be the only intelligent thing I ever say in the internet.
If you have kids: You will never know how valuable a daddy in the middle of chaos really is to your kids. Be strong. Quit drinkin', learn to put up with the old lady, do whatever you have to do because that little crumb cruncher thinks you are Superman and all you have to do to earn the cape is just keep loving them when the rest of your life sucks.
2012-06-17 12:39:26 AM
3 votes:
I'm seriously depressed over how many of you never knew the joy of having a good man for a father.
2012-06-17 05:56:39 PM
2 votes:
I haven't had time to read this thread, but I still remember the one from last year. I had tears rolling for hours reading the whole thing, and I almost never cry. I wish there was something that would be the equivalent of telling a person in the armed forces "thank you" that you could say to people who had amazingly pieces of shiat fathers, that would somehow let them know that they deserve an award for just having to put up with that. It is amazing how well many of these people have turned out and become outstanding fathers themselves. I have a great, but not perfect dad. Happy Father's Day to all the men out there who treat their kids good!
2012-06-17 12:58:11 PM
2 votes:
"Dad, I'd like you to meet my wife"
2012-06-17 11:45:40 AM
2 votes:
My poor old Dad was a rage-filled, depressive, violent alcoholic. He had a terrible childhood and passed it onto us. I feel sorry for him now, but it's taken me YEARS to get to that point.

You are super lucky if you have a good Dad.
2012-06-17 08:03:36 AM
2 votes:
Dad was a jock. On the track team in high school, basketball too. Started his career in education as a gym teacher.

He taught me how to throw a ball, dribble left-handed. We played catch in the backyard. He also taught me how to play chess, solder wires, and make stuff in a wood shop.

When it was pretty obvious I was no jock, he never pushed me. He knew it would be better to play to my strengths than to harangue and humiliate me because I had no sports talent.

No one's perfect, but overall I give him an A.
2012-06-17 06:41:58 AM
2 votes:
First I would like to apologize for being a troll and an a$$hole. I have been under a lot of stress lately. My son who is 19, and should be at college learning, drinking, and meeting girls has cystic fibrosis. By his late teens the desease had progressed to end-stage lung disease,( isn't that the most farked up euphemism? It's like they weren't even trying).

This this made me very angry at genetics. But genetics, like the honey badger don't give a fark. So i needed to vent my anger. I will not vent this stuff at my wife because she is too beautiful and precious to me. So i chose a semi-anonymous community and I yelled at you. You gave me something that i needed at that time in my life and I am grateful.
Thank you.

Over the years I watched my son who is a natural athlete have to drop out of the sports that he loved because of the progression of his disease. I just was crushed.

I am one of those rare Texans who doesn't give a rats rectum about sports. All of the Super Bowls I ever watched were at somebody's party, where I hung out in the kitchen and played bar tender. But because of my son's love of baseball I became a fan, a student of the game and ultimately what we in Texas call a "baseball man." I even went on to coach high school baseball for three years with a not too shabby 55-19 record. From that experience I learned that if you help kids believe in what they can do and guide them in developing their individual talents they can do amazing stuff.

Last year we knew that he was getting sicker, so we had a little money and I am a veteran from Texas I don't have to pay tuition so I started working on my doctorate. This has been an awesome experience. I have had time to read, chase my interests and be available for my son.

In November he had to drop out of his first semester at college When he had to move back home he was angry and disappointed. I was there to help him through it. We hung out and played video games and we became friends as men. We talked about his mother and how she is a witch, (like Samantha in Bewitched, the real one not the movie), also Daren was blind to the magic he had to help him.

Fortunately, He recently received a lung transplant and is doing well. This is so gratifying because I see him critique the French open, (of course Nadal won, he's a clay court specialist), and looking for a new tennis racquet.

All of this while raising a beautiful perfect daughter, Margret Thatcher and Mother Theresa combined.

So, as I look back on my life I'm okay with it. I am worthy of being who I am.

My father left our family when I was an infant. He moved on and remarried and had other children. He was successful and made a lot of money. I was never included or contacted.
No child support was ever paid and I met him twice in my life. He ultimately died an old broken down alcoholic.

He was a really messed up person and thats too bad.

So I think those of us who had bass-turds for fathers should just look at our own lives and be okay about what we have done and given and received. And we should thank some one wether it's God or what ever for who we are.

I also think that we should take whatever we were going to spend on a gift some one doesn't deserve, we should just spend it on our children, and be okay with it.
2012-06-17 02:33:57 AM
2 votes:
Some of you people are whiny pussies.
2012-06-17 02:17:08 AM
2 votes:
i'm sorry your family died in prague spring. it saddens me that you never healed that wound. it saddens me that it made you bitter and occasionally violent.

it saddens me that you felt like it was a waste for me to be smart, since to you i was 'just a girl', something to marry off once i hit 18. you and mom wanted a girl who was pretty and quiet and liked cleaning. you got me, the butch who liked cars and swords and science. it was like a pair of chihuahuas trying to raise a wolfpup.

it saddens me that you decided i didn't exist anymore after i came out to mom. its been 22 years since then. honestly, i think you're dead by now.

you were brilliant and artistic, and trapped in a life and boring job you hated. mom should have left you, but she was trapped in that fundie cult that you resented and i hated.

i hope you found something akin to peace when you went back to prague after the curtain fell.

i run a library now. i live amidst books and geeks and hold my own. i've spawned once and raised several kids, and teach people how to be deviant in healthy ways. i found out how to be myself and enjoy my life.

i wish you could have.
2012-06-17 01:14:17 AM
2 votes:
If you hadn't farked off with that young chick from work and left the country to escape any responsibility to your wife and kids, including me at 4 years old, then maybe on Fathers Day you'd be getting a nice card and gift from your two grandsons.

Now that I am a father, I cannot imagine abandoning my kids in the way you abandoned us.

Enjoy your day and continue being ignorant of all you have and will continue to miss out on.
2012-06-17 01:13:54 AM
2 votes:
He's been dead for 6 years now, so "Gaahhhhhh! Don't eat my brains!"
2012-06-17 01:13:20 AM
2 votes:
I begged you to stay with us when I was 7 and you did and you spent most of your life in Hell for me. Don't go back to mom. Move on. Find love. Marry and even have more children. Visit Ireland. Make a workshop in your garage. Build that car you wanted to. SEE A DOCTOR. See the USS Missouri. Plant more vegetable gardens. Go to the drag races more. I'm sorry for leaving the bread open after making a sandwich. I'm sorry for leaving for Ohio with a man I didn't love. I'm sorry for planning with you that we weren't sure you'd be alive to do. they tell people to never do that... and I knew it... But I had no idea what else to do. Don't ignore your symptoms. It wasn't heartburn. It wasn't back pain. It was motherfarking silent heart attacks, dad. 20 years worth. Don't smoke so much. Don't drink so much coffee. Your heart tissue is dying. More and more, every year you are being taken from us and we have absolutely no idea. you have 2 grandsons you will never hold. They look just like you. How am I supposed to tell them about you? How am I supposed to describe your gravel lined laughter, the jangle of keys against your hip when you walked, the smell of pall mall, yuban and peanut butter sandwiches. I love you. I loved you even when I railed at you for embarrassing me. I loved you even when I isolated myself in teenage ego. I loved you even when you were drinking and depressed. I loved you even when I was drinking and depressed. I loved you through everything. Always. And still do. Will forever. 8 years and I still wait for a phone call saying you're still alive, it was all just a practical joke... or you went into the witness protection program, or you were a double agent that went rogue. Anything. Anything but this.
2012-06-17 01:05:26 AM
2 votes:
To my biological father: How are you even still alive? The drug use should have caused your heart to explode years ago. I hope it does soon.

To my maternal grandfather/adopted father: Thank you. You aren't perfect, but you've loved me unconditionally. You've taught me more about life than any teacher or book. I'll see you around 4.
2012-06-17 12:52:43 AM
2 votes:
Same thing I said to him on his deathbed in May last year

"You're a damn good man and a damn good father."
2012-06-17 12:44:55 AM
2 votes:

batcookie: I'm seriously depressed over how many of you never knew the joy of having a good man for a father.


You're absolutely right. And your earlier post was also very sweet, and I am terribly sorry you lost your father so early.

I do want to say there are many very good fathers out there, and good mothers too, that have had their children alienated from them by some not so good custodial parents, and whose kids may never understand how good those absent parents were, until they become adults, if ever.

So to those farkers, I raise a beer for you.
2012-06-17 12:36:38 AM
2 votes:
Thankfully I still can and will:

Dad, thank you for everything:
-For life itself.
-For working so hard to provide for us.
-For always putting us first, even when we weren't there.
-For rescuing me and my brother from the living hell we endured while living with our mother after she left you for that asshole. Until I get married and have kids, the day we came to live with you is still the greatest day of my life.
-For letting us do our own thing and be ourselves.
-For treating your step-son from your last marriage as a true son, even after the divorce, and in doing so providing me a brother much closer to me than my blood brother.
-For continuing to provide for us and put us first after you became disabled and it would have been so easy to say you couldn't do this or that.
-For never giving up, on any of us or yourself, no matter what the doctors told you.
-For giving us absolutely everything we needed and a good number of the things we merely wanted.
-For helping me through college and letting me follow my own path, as unclear as that was at times.
-For still putting us first even after we all became adults and begged you to stop spoiling us and focus on yourself.
-For your humor, sarcasm and wit which taught me not to take myself too seriously.
-For everything, you are amazing and an inspiration to me.

I know I talk about my dad on here quite a bit, there's a reason for that.
2012-06-17 12:28:38 AM
2 votes:
You were right, I was wrong.
2012-06-17 12:26:23 AM
2 votes:

angrymacface: I've never had one of those.


I'm sorry, man. Just pretend Chief O'Brian and Keiko adopted you.
2012-06-17 12:21:51 AM
2 votes:
I talked to him a few hours ago, and sent cards and cinnamon roll muffins with my mom for him knowing they would be out of town tomorrow.

He is my very best friend. When I was little, I asked him to go get the moon and put it in my hands, and he was heartbroken that he couldn't. When I was older and in law school and freaked about the bar exam, he took a last-minute red-eye flight to come stay with me so I wouldn't be alone. I called them crying a week before, convinced I could never pass, and the next afternoon he called me to ask if he could buy me dinner and then rang my buzzer. I've always known he has my back, no matter what. My daddy is my favorite person.
2012-06-18 06:04:58 PM
1 votes:

Nattering Nabob: I haven't had time to read this thread, but I still remember the one from last year. I had tears rolling for hours reading the whole thing, and I almost never cry. I wish there was something that would be the equivalent of telling a person in the armed forces "thank you" that you could say to people who had amazingly pieces of shiat fathers, that would somehow let them know that they deserve an award for just having to put up with that. It is amazing how well many of these people have turned out and become outstanding fathers themselves. I have a great, but not perfect dad. Happy Father's Day to all the men out there who treat their kids good!


Amen to that.

Regardless of how good/bad we each may have had things in the past, it is up to each of us to do right by any kid(s) that we bring into this world. I say for you to thank him, then renew your own vow to yourself to never make the same mistakes that many others have.
2012-06-18 12:29:39 PM
1 votes:

GladGirl: Damn, this thread is making me cry. And so deeply appreciative that my dad is alive and well and in my life. He is amazing, and I'm sorry I can't share him with the rest of you.


Sweetpea... want to know what you can do for the rest of us?

Tell your dad he is amazing for all of us. Let him know (although I think he already does) that he is appreciated. Let him know he raised an amazing daughter.

A bunch of us here on this thread have issues... but you should know we appreciate you having a good dad.

I would say I might be jealous... but honestly? I am glad for you. And not jealous.
2012-06-18 09:07:48 AM
1 votes:
Dad, dont hate me because i'm not my brother.

Your other sons are people too you know.
2012-06-18 02:16:00 AM
1 votes:
Damn, this thread is making me cry. And so deeply appreciative that my dad is alive and well and in my life. He is amazing, and I'm sorry I can't share him with the rest of you.
2012-06-17 09:12:19 PM
1 votes:
To those of you who had bad fathers, I can't express how sorry I feel for you. To those of you had/have good fathers, I hope after reading these horror stories you realize how lucky you are.

Helped my Dad install a new water tank at camp this afternoon and shared a couple beers/G & Ts.

Love you, Dad.
2012-06-17 06:59:27 PM
1 votes:
Why in the world did you marry my mother? Dear lord, she's a shrew.
2012-06-17 02:53:50 PM
1 votes:
How do you rebel against a father who constantly remarried, cheated on every damn one of them, fathers kids in and out of wedlock and supported none of them?

Well, this month I had my 24th anniversary and my son graduated from high school. In your face, dead old guy.
2012-06-17 01:58:02 PM
1 votes:
My Dad is fortunately still around, although he is not doing so great. Having been diagnosed with stage IV lung cancer (Agent Orange, not smoking) last February, we weren't sure he would make it this long. I didn't get him a Father's Day card, but I was able to give him a massage that completely got rid of all of his back pain besides the tumor location. Probably the last Father's Day we'll have together, but it was a good one.
2012-06-17 01:57:03 PM
1 votes:
Texted my dad(He's currently in another country) & told him happy fathers day & that I love him. We email every other day & have a wonderful relationship. When my world crumbles & my dad tells me "everything is going to be okay" I honestly feel so much better. I hate the thought of losing my dad(he's in his late 50s) & the thought of saying goodbye to him forever haunts me.

This is also my brother's first Father's day. I sent him a text but I'll call him later today. To all you non-dead beat dad's out there...happy Father's Day!
2012-06-17 01:56:52 PM
1 votes:
I wish they treated you for a heart attack instead of an asthma attack. Then maybe you wouldn't have died, leaving behind a pregnant wife and a five year old. It was tough growing up without you, but I think we turned out ok. Your grandson is eleven days old now. We named him after you. He's the greatest thing in the world.
2012-06-17 01:46:05 PM
1 votes:
Just that I miss you. It's been three months since you died and it stil hurts. More than I expected it would. I lit a candle for you today. To let you know your memory will always live with me.
2012-06-17 01:29:37 PM
1 votes:
I have turned into you. And William is turning into me.

And these are good things.

And I quote you in every Executive Presentation I give.

Love,

--Chris--
2012-06-17 01:04:46 PM
1 votes:
I forgive you.
2012-06-17 01:01:02 PM
1 votes:
I just want to say I love my Dad and he is awesome.

And for those dad haters out there - at least be thankful he farked your mom.
2012-06-17 12:57:56 PM
1 votes:
I i could say something to him, it would be a simple I love you dad and thanks for making me be responsible for my actions and not trying to get me out of jams. I learned much.
2012-06-17 12:37:44 PM
1 votes:
The last time I saw my father was at my cousin's wedding.

We talked about a lot of things including his time in Bermuda..

At the end of the reception I said, "I'll see you tomorrow."

Woke up this morning, thinking about that, looked at the clock and told my wife, "I told Dad we would be there by 2 today."

/the wedding was yesterday.
2012-06-17 11:25:32 AM
1 votes:

Confabulat: I'm glad I never procreated just to have a bunch of miscreats like you people putting me down just cause you needed a Daddy figure in your life.

Happy Non-Fathers Day, me.


No, it's just Nature's way of quietly removing you from the gene pool :)
2012-06-17 10:54:30 AM
1 votes:
What would I say?

'I love you, I miss you and there's lots to talk about'.

He's been gone over 20 years and he crosses my mind almost every day.

Lots of stuff I wish I could tell him and lots of things I could use his advice on.

In North Africa and Italy in WWII - which I knew - with an anti-tank squad and earned 2 Bronze Stars, something I didn't learn until the day of his funeral.

Yeah, He's missed. A lot.
2012-06-17 10:19:40 AM
1 votes:
Talk to my dad all the time. I'd never say it to him because he's too much of a tough guy, but:

1) You weren't Ward Cleaver, but you didn't fark up nearly as much as you think you did.
2) I have turned into you over the years, and I'm okay with this.
3) Thanks for taking time to teach me the important stuff, even through the haze of the alcohol.
4) Stop smoking, please. I know, after 50 years the damage is pretty much already done, but still..
2012-06-17 09:40:53 AM
1 votes:
To my dad:

Mom and stepmom always told me that you meant well. "He means well, but he drinks. He means well, but he doesn't understand kids. Or girls. He means well, so he tries to make money for you." I think I'm finally starting to understand. You did your best, and it didn't work very well for a little girl who didn't know much about adults or real life or any of those things. But you meant well.

P.S. There is one thing you did right, and that was your laser focus on education. I've inherited that from you in a big way, and your granddaughter is reading and doing simple math at age five.

+++

To my daughter's dad:

Thank you. I mean that. Thank you for your help. Thank you for taking your role as Dad seriously. Thank you for loving our daughter and treating her like gold. I know it's not easy. She is all girl and the world's biggest extrovert; you are neither of those things, and that's putting it lightly.

Next year, she'll be going to kindergarten, and she'll be staying with you on school nights. This will be a big change from the 50/50 time we've had for the last couple years. Please listen to her. I tell her to tell you what she needs, since it's hard for you to figure out another person's emotional state sometimes, so she'll let you know. I'll come by for dinner and homework help one or two nights a week, too.

Thanks for being a good partner.
2012-06-17 08:31:03 AM
1 votes:

KingGeegers: I lost my dad this year, this is the first Father's Day without him and I'm having a rough go at it.

I'd just say "Thank you"


It gets better - eventually you will laugh at the good memories again. Because my dad and I didn't communicate a lot when he was alive, we had some pretty good conversations for years after. Hang in there.
2012-06-17 08:24:52 AM
1 votes:
Oh my god I'm glad I can say to him "don't forget, lunch reservation is 11:30".

Just got his latest checkup, still no growth in his tumors 2 years post chemo now. Don't you farking wake up you sneaky little traitorous bastards.
2012-06-17 08:17:29 AM
1 votes:

KingGeegers: I lost my dad this year, this is the first Father's Day without him and I'm having a rough go at it.

I'd just say "Thank you"


I'm so very sorry. It does get a tiny bit easier as time passes. Not a ton, but a bit.

Peace.
2012-06-17 07:54:18 AM
1 votes:
Thanks for the solid work ethic.

I wish you had slowed down more in your later life to enjoy what you had worked for.
2012-06-17 07:51:55 AM
1 votes:
My message -

I love you, Daddy. I miss you still so much. I know it's been 37 years since you've been gone, but the pain of loss still hurts. I hope I have made you proud of me. Thank you for watching over me.
2012-06-17 07:43:23 AM
1 votes:

obamadidcoke: First I would like to apologize for being a troll and an a$$hole. I have been under a lot of stress lately. My son who is 19, and should be at college learning, drinking, and meeting girls has cystic fibrosis. By his late teens the desease had progressed to end-stage lung disease,( isn't that the most farked up euphemism? It's like they weren't even trying).

This this made me very angry at genetics. But genetics, like the honey badger don't give a fark. So i needed to vent my anger. I will not vent this stuff at my wife because she is too beautiful and precious to me. So i chose a semi-anonymous community and I yelled at you. You gave me something that i needed at that time in my life and I am grateful.
Thank you....


As a father of 2 young daughters (3yrs and 9 months) with CF, thank you for posting that. I need the occasional reminder to double my efforts on ensuring they get their treatments every day as prescribed. I like to stay positive and believe they'll outlive me some day.

And in spite of your trolling on Fark, you sound like you've been a pretty good father so keep it up. Any advice from one CF parent to another about my girls' future?
2012-06-17 07:32:05 AM
1 votes:
To my father:

"I'm never divorcing my wife so for the love of God let that crazy idea go. Five years is long enough so pick up the phone and call. You've got 4 grandkids you've never met, they're growing up fast, and one day you'll regret it. I still love you ya old stubborn son-of-a-biatch."

To my stepdad:

"Thank you for everything you've been in the past 18 years. You've stepped up when my real dad stepped out and tought me more than any other man. I'll never truly be able to show my gratitude."

To my father-in-law:

"Your daughter misses you and so do I. You always treated me like a son and part of the family and I'll never forget that. And thank you for being the voice of reason when we were starting out."
2012-06-17 07:20:14 AM
1 votes:
Thank you for living and shame on you for dying. ;-)

I miss you and love you. You were an awesome dad and grand-dad. Funniest farker I've ever known. Suppotive and always quick to make me feel like I could conquer anything.

I just wish you were able to meet your new son in law. He would have had a blast with you.

Love you, Da. Happy Father's Day from your girl, Pammy.
2012-06-17 07:00:55 AM
1 votes:
Thanks. Wish we had more time.
2012-06-17 06:51:51 AM
1 votes:
Froim my wedding speech:

I would like to thank my Mum and Dad for all the help and support they have given me in the last thirty odd years, for giving me a gentle nudge in the right direction with some the important decisions I have made in my life, and a good hard shove with the others. I wouldn't be here without you; Literally because obviously I wouldn't exist but also I'd probably not be standing here making this speech if you hadn't brought me up to be the man I am.

Today I just said "thanks for everything, especialy doning me a kidney". He's alive and well and I live 2000 miles away.
2012-06-17 06:40:02 AM
1 votes:
What it do, blood.

Thanks for popping a quick load into my mom in the summer of 1983. Turns out I was the strongest of your sperm that night.

You're alright, boss. We got through the tough stuff, and now we get to laugh all the way to hell.

-Sport
2012-06-17 05:41:55 AM
1 votes:
I will always regret the fact that I never had the opportunity to kick his ass.
2012-06-17 04:51:50 AM
1 votes:
thanks for not only being brave enough to be a single father in an era when men didn't often do it, thanks for ignoring the advice to put us in a foster home as 'men can't raise kids by themselves' - which you sure as hell proved wrong.
thanks for not only being the worlds best dad, thanks for being the best substitute for a mother that you could be.
thanks for not only being an amazing grandfather, thanks for showing me all i missed not knowing your dad - who was just as amazing as you, from all reports.
thanks for not only setting the benchmark so high for every man in my life, thanks for being an amazing father in law to my wonder bloke - who is as magic as you.

and there are not enough thanks, daddy. i love you.
2012-06-17 04:25:44 AM
1 votes:
Also Daddy (and Mommy) please please please don't feel so guilty about not being able to help me with the medical bills financially it is not your fault that after 40 years the business finally crashed. Just having you guys in my corner helps more than you know. I will find a way you taught me how.
2012-06-17 04:11:09 AM
1 votes:
You helped me to be strong and know I could do anything in the world. Thank you for making me practice tire changing, oil checking, proper use of jumper cables and general auto upkeep before I got a licence then giving me AAA just in case. Most of all thank you for being our rock. When you had your heart attack right before lil bro's wedding I got a cold slap about how much we all depend and need you and how much you do. I tried so hard to fill those shoes for just a short while and failed miserably. I love you with all my heart and just thinking of the picture of you with the shaved head holding the note saying We support you and believe in you makes me still tear up. I looked at the picture before every chemo, before my surgery and in all my lowest moments. You helped me beat cancer even if you couldn't physically be with me for treatment. You amaze me at how unlike your farther you are, it is rare that the son understand the mistakes in how he was raised and so completely fixes them. Syd and Cam are lucky to have a dad trained by you and lucky to have you as a grandpa. Happy Fathers day, no matter how old I am you will always be my daddy and I will always be your little girl.
2012-06-17 03:52:13 AM
1 votes:
You have two beautiful grandchildren.
2012-06-17 03:47:22 AM
1 votes:
Holy crap. I know I'm generally pretty spoiled, but after reading some of these stories, it's clear I'm even more spoiled than I thought.

A long time ago, we were doing pretty well; my dad had several businesses, we had a nice house in the suburbs, and all three kids in my family were going to private school. Then, the bottom fell out. We lost the house (on which my parents had been paying for years) and had to sell everything in it to finance a move across the country. We were only allowed to keep what we could fit in a small U-haul trailer. Two parents, three kids, and a St. Bernard in a station wagon.

When we finally got where we were going, the job my dad had lined up let him go after three months, and we lived just above the poverty line for many years. To make ends meet, my dad was working two (and sometimes three) jobs, while all he got from his kids was complaints about how life sucked. Things have improved, since then, but they never got back to where they once were.

I don't know what I would have done, if I had been in his position. I certainly wouldn't have handled it as well as he did.

For my entire life, whenever I really needed him - whenever any of us really needed him - he was there. Every. Single. Time. For that, I guess I'd like to say "Thanks."
2012-06-17 03:34:56 AM
1 votes:
Dear Father, I'm sorry you married a defective woman who could not have children, thus forcing you to adopt a baby, born from an un-married slut instead of the one you would have formed in your holy christian marriage. I'm sorry your a miserable sack of crap, who thinks the world is against you despite the fact that you were born into a loving happy financial stable family and have no reason to the miserable POS you are. I don't understand why you are like this, why were you an abuse hateful fark your whole life. Why did you beat mom and me, why did you spend ever minute you could being as hateful to both of us as you could? Your parents are good people, since leaving the cult church I have gotten to meet them and your siblings. They are all good people, loving charitable people who live by Jesus example and help their fellow man, not spending every minute judging every person as a sinful fark while holding themselves up to be perfect and sinless.

Mostly I'm want to know why, after 8 years, you contacted me. Someone told you I had cancer and that I might not be able to beat it. Why couldn't you just keep shunning me for being a backslid Christian and leave it at that. You just had to write that letter, didn't you. And you knew I would read it, that little piece of hope that I clung to that you might want to mend to bridge between us. You used it to scream about my past, my being born to an unmarried slut, that my baby died shortly after birth and it was all my fault because I must have sinned, the miscarriages before my daughter's birth, my divorce from my husband and my leaving the church - that this was all my punishments and that's why I had cancer. I read it and after I was done, I realized something, you finally did it, you finally destroyed what little love I had left for you. You sent two more letter since then, they went right into the trash. I spend years drinking away the misery of my childhood thanks to you. I've stared down death before, tried to end it all in the depths of my drunken misery, cancer was a cakewalk to beat after years of that. Thanks to you, there will always be a piece of me that is sad, that haunts me. But unlike, you that was given everything and farked it up and in turn gave me nothing but misery, I'm going to have the happiness in life I can. I have have friends, have created a new family of your parents and siblings plus the biological sisters my mother had after me. I do works of charity for my fellow man, hobbies and live a quiet peaceful life in my own way. Not to spite you, but because I want to, because it is who I am. But understand this, I do forgive you, but I don't love you anymore and don't you ever try to contact me for anything. You could live to 100, since you wrote that letter, you are dead to me.
2012-06-17 03:30:36 AM
1 votes:
Everything I needed to say, I said in the eulogy. I wish I would have said it more while you were here, but I know you knew. We were too similar to get too sappy.

I can't imagine the pain and suffering you endured for 2/3s of your life with that goddamned disease. Thanks for the lessons we learned watching you battle, even though I'd give them all up for you to have lived a better, longer life.

I send mom roses on your anniversary in June every year - half red and half yellow, just like you did on the days my brother and I were born. Brother and I do my best to take care of her, just like we promised we would. Wouldn't think of having it any other way.

I wouldn't have you back in the shape you were in - you endured more than any one person ever should - but I wouldn't mind just a quick reprieve for you to meet brother's son. Seemed like being a grandpa was the one thing you really wanted and never got.

Love you and miss you always, Dad. Laughter, smiles, and tears, I'll never stop trying to live up to your lessons.
2012-06-17 03:10:25 AM
1 votes:
Jeez, some of you guys are making me regret having angry thoughts at my dad this morning (his lawn looks like shiat, his house needs a serious yard sale, and he needs to stop buying snack food over real food).

Other than that, he was always pretty awesome and supportive till he went a little bonkers last year and finally got remarried in Feb. I can live with it, but I don't have to jump every time he wants me to anymore. (Said jumping involves an hour and a half drive each way, 'to take him to an appointment' or some such thing. No, call one of your many friends for that one, sorry.)

Did we do one of these for Mother's Day and I missed it?
2012-06-17 03:09:57 AM
1 votes:
Dad,

Its been nearly 23 years now since cancer took you from us, wish you could meet my darling wife and your 5 Grand-kids ( which I know you'd spoil at every opportunity.)

Thanks for teaching my that its OK to have pride in what you do, be it blue collar or white collar.

Thanks for showing me that mundane things can be marvelous when expressed in math.

Thanks for showing me how a bad marriage works!, Because mine works well by doing the exact opposite of many of your choices.

Thanks for cutting the cord on that damned TV and tossing a book at me when I needed it most.

Thanks for teaching me how to cook and admitting that I was better at it than you were!

Especially thanks for saying the night before you died that you loved me and that you had faith that I would do well.

I miss your wisdom. your humor, your incredible intellect, but most of all I miss you Dad. See you on the other side Pop!
2012-06-17 02:36:19 AM
1 votes:
Dear Dad,

Why didn't you divorce your crazy, destructive, mental wife and take me away with you?

Why did you let her do the things she did to me?

I guess dying was your way out...but what about me? I have had to deal with her for the rest of my life, and she's 96 now.

It should have been her, Dad. And I would have helped.

Miss you, sweet man. Always.
2012-06-17 02:30:48 AM
1 votes:
Dad, all the crazy you filled my head when I was young and impressionable wasn't a bad decision, assuming you believed it too. I hope you weren't intentionally bullshiatting me. Anyhow, you made the world a magical, terrifying, and wondrous place. But seriously, you should have realized it was all the stuff you filled my head that kept me up all those nights.

RIP
2012-06-17 02:20:18 AM
1 votes:

one of those: Miss you dad. I think about you every day, and try to live my life by the example you set for me. It's been working out ok so far, so I like to think it was good advice. I love you and I hope you'd be proud of the man I've become.


Every genuine father wants these words, even if post mortum. Thanks for offsetting some of the this thread's depression.
2012-06-17 02:15:44 AM
1 votes:
This is pretty touching, and as sad as it is I just have nothing I want to say. I remember him being mean and distant for the latter part of my life
2012-06-17 02:12:44 AM
1 votes:
Why did you shoot yourself in the head in the bathroom. At least you did it in the bathtub so it was easier to clean up... and on Fathers Day? Really?
2012-06-17 02:12:22 AM
1 votes:
I went to Mother's Day card section the day before the event - largely gutted, numerous people swarming around searching for a card.

Just today, I went to Father's Day card section (much smaller one) the day before the event - fully stocked, deserted.

This thread seems to be telling me why.

Fathers, be good to your children.

/lucky
2012-06-17 02:07:46 AM
1 votes:
Thanks for farking up the family and being the primary "cause" of mom's drinking, depression, and if you took her to the hospital like you should have instead of listening to her irrational demands about getting home for clothes and makeup, she might be alive,asshole. Oh, and thanks for taking all my good moods and working hard to destroy them talking about your self-caused problems, making me a depressed loser until I moved out. Good job farking up your finances so badly that the last 4 years my sister and I had to spend unfarking what you left behind, despite our horrendously busy schedules. Well, at least you are in a nursing home and have advanced Parkinson's and dementia now, so you are a pathetic mass of delusions and terrified about everything. At least you nurtured my brain and weren't a real evil fark (I have several friends who had is MUCH MUCH MUCH worse), but the damage will always be there. Some good times mixed in my bad memories of you, so I love you in a twisted hateful way. Thanks for everything and thanks for nothing at the same time. Goddamnitsomuch
2012-06-17 01:56:13 AM
1 votes:
Don't start the car, I rigged it to explode.
2012-06-17 01:53:55 AM
1 votes:
You're a terrible father and a worse grandfather and I feel sad every time I think of how you abandoned me and how it doesn't bother you at all
2012-06-17 01:51:38 AM
1 votes:
"Thanks for the carton of smokes!"

/wait, that what i told him last christmas
2012-06-17 01:30:35 AM
1 votes:
Can I borrow some money?
2012-06-17 01:26:06 AM
1 votes:
Wish you hadn't died when I was five, but it's cool you did when you were beating the hell out of Mom and me.
2012-06-17 01:24:45 AM
1 votes:
I know you've been retired for a year and because of it you've kinda let yourself go, but it's summer... wear some farking deodorant
2012-06-17 01:19:03 AM
1 votes:
My real father died in prison while I was a toddler. My stepfather needs to die alone.
2012-06-17 01:16:20 AM
1 votes:
Thanks for introducing me to Douglas Adams and making me play with cars. Guys think I'm awesome because of things you taught me. Also, thanks for teaching me that I don't need a man in my life because I am capable of doing anything a man can do.
2012-06-17 01:10:46 AM
1 votes:
You know, I'm starting to think there are a f-ton of strippers on fark. With all the daddy issues and all. Sheesh.
2012-06-17 01:05:54 AM
1 votes:
To my father: fark you too, sir, and DIAF.

To my stepfather: I love you. You didn't give me life, but you gave me hope and faith. Thank you for all your support and care.

And to all the good men who marry women with children and make those children their own, loving and cherishing and raising them to be good women and men: there's a special reward in Heaven for you. God bless and keep you forever.
2012-06-17 01:04:59 AM
1 votes:

Inaditch: I'm a dad myself and have busted my ass to be a better parent than my parents were to me and my siblings.


My dad once told me, "(CommieTaoist), I know I haven't been a perfect father, but I tried my hardest to be better than my parents were, and if you try even harder with your (future) kids, and they do even better, you know, someday we just might get this right."
2012-06-17 01:04:56 AM
1 votes:
Thanks Dad for a lot of things, for your respect for women even if you divorce them, for your work ethics, for being a fantastic grandpa, for your sense of humor, for your MacGuyver like ways of solving problems...

But if you croak because of something cigarette related, I'm going to have a "Dogs Playing Poker" theme on your tombstone.
2012-06-17 01:01:36 AM
1 votes:
Thanks for giving me more than just your name and looks, Dad. Thanks for giving me your character. That's all.
2012-06-17 01:01:27 AM
1 votes:
images3.wikia.nocookie.net
Your dads are dead.
2012-06-17 12:54:09 AM
1 votes:
I'll be telling him by phone I love him tomorrow. Probably after a long argument about politics (although we mostly agree on things- he's solidly liberal). I'm seeing him in two weeks when I travel from CA to NC. First time in a couple of years after some turmoil. He's almost 80 so I'm pretty stoked! We're gonna friggin go canoeing... canoeing biatches! Stoked...
2012-06-17 12:52:44 AM
1 votes:
Thanks for giving me crippling anxiety and depression that damn near ruined my career. Oh, and the heart disease on your side of the family. Hearing from you last year put me in the hospital with panic attacks and thoughts of suicide. Stay way the hell out of my life and pay Mom's alimony on time, you lazy, selfish asshole.
2012-06-17 12:52:13 AM
1 votes:
My dad passed away last September. We hadn't spoken to each other in almost 3 years and I never got to tell him goodbye. I went fishing today and saw kids out with their dads and remembered what it was like to be young, fishing from the shore with my Donald Duck pole and getting bored too quickly and wanting to leave-- it's one of the many times a memory of my dad pops up during the day.
If I could say anything, I'd say I enjoyed every minute of the time we got to spend together-- hearing his stories of when he was in the merchant marines, when he'd untangle my line when I'd cast it over a tree when we were fishing, when he'd sing me "For The Good Times" to get to sleep at night when I was very little. I'd also say sorry for not being there for him when he was suffering with pancreatic cancer-- if I could take it all back, I would do it, no matter the cost. I would also let him know I've reconciled with my mom and brother and sister and we're now talking again, I'm spending time with them.
I'd also let him know I've been hiking on the Appalachian Trail in memory of him and taking journeys like him. I'm waiting for a stress fracture to heal at the moment but when I'm back on the trail, I'll be able to feel him in my heart again.
Love your dad, guys, they're irreplaceable and you only get one. Please, give your dad an extra hug today if you can and take a moment to forgive them. Remember to forgive yourselves too.
2012-06-17 12:51:35 AM
1 votes:
Haven't seen you since I was ~10 when you left for good so quit trying to friend me on Facebook 20 years later when you can send me a letter, call me, or even send me a message on Facebook
2012-06-17 12:51:18 AM
1 votes:
My Dad still thinks it was his right to beat up and abuse his wife and kid. He didn't even have being a drunk as an excuse, he was just mean. As a result, I don't have anything I want to say to him.
2012-06-17 12:50:45 AM
1 votes:
Your example is my aspiration.
2012-06-17 12:49:46 AM
1 votes:
Dear Dad:

Thanks for being there for me for the past 10 years while I've been an adult.
FU for not being there when I was a kid, although I understand why.
2012-06-17 12:47:09 AM
1 votes:

batcookie: I'm seriously depressed over how many of you never knew the joy of having a good man for a father.


Agreed.
2012-06-17 12:46:10 AM
1 votes:

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: batcookie: I'm seriously depressed over how many of you never knew the joy of having a good man for a father.

Well, in my case, it just makes me that much more dedicated to being a good father myself.


And good sir, that is why I married a good man. For every deep sadness we learn.
2012-06-17 12:42:48 AM
1 votes:
Thanks for busting your ass 14 hours a day to give my brothers and me the good life.
2012-06-17 12:42:21 AM
1 votes:
They say that time heals all wounds, it's a lie

Your grandkids never met you, they were robbed too
2012-06-17 12:38:56 AM
1 votes:
I am sorry that I am such a disappointment.
2012-06-17 12:38:40 AM
1 votes:
Thanks for farking off and staying the hell out of my life entirely the last 10 years.
2012-06-17 12:38:13 AM
1 votes:
Don't marry her, she'll just break your heart, blame you for everything and ruin your life.
2012-06-17 12:36:48 AM
1 votes:
World's Greatest Dad

i1181.photobucket.com

i1181.photobucket.com

i1181.photobucket.com

/for serious
2012-06-17 12:33:08 AM
1 votes:
I honestly can't thank you enough for my inheritance.
2012-06-17 12:30:59 AM
1 votes:
Thank you for inspiring me to surpass you in every way. Now that I've done it please die on peace and continue leaving me and my son alone. We're fine thanks to someone showing me what not to do.
2012-06-17 12:26:20 AM
1 votes:
I'm so sorry.
2012-06-17 12:25:38 AM
1 votes:
I don't know why my sister feels the need to bash you relentlessly. You aren't perfect but you do have a kid that loves you dearly.
2012-06-17 12:25:10 AM
1 votes:
Thank you for everything. Meet your grandkids.
2012-06-17 12:24:54 AM
1 votes:
My daddy always used to say to me "See you later, Alligator" before he left to go anywhere. When he died, I was 9 years old, and at the funeral, I said to him exactly what I would say today if I could: in a while, Crocodile.
2012-06-17 12:22:35 AM
1 votes:

Joliebleu: Me and him talked about the pups earlier... that is normal conversation... he said that the one dog was jealous I bought the other a bikini... I said the fatass wouldn't look good in a bikini...


I am in love with this picture.
2012-06-17 12:22:33 AM
1 votes:
I've never had one of those.
2012-06-17 12:17:25 AM
1 votes:
2012-06-17 12:16:05 AM
1 votes:
I love you! You made me awesome.
2012-06-17 12:14:13 AM
1 votes:
Ah damn. That brought me down. My last father's day with my Dad was 5 years ago. I would say so SO much if I could.
 
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