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(Some spontn80)   Fifth year in a row: What would you say to your Daddy today if you could?   (dangrigor.com) divider line 503
    More: Followup, fifth year  
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4070 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 Jun 2012 at 12:49 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-06-17 12:37:48 AM  
Dead sir:

For every time you woke me up at 2am just to beat me up, for every time you said I was your biggest mistake, for every time you lifted me off my feet while choking me when I was 7, for every time you showed me how much "this hurts me more than it hurts you"

I'm going to find out if you were right...
 
2012-06-17 12:38:07 AM  
All I have of my father now are photographs of him and mom, and my memories of course.

Miss ya dad. Still remember playing baseball in the backyard.
 
2012-06-17 12:38:13 AM  
Don't marry her, she'll just break your heart, blame you for everything and ruin your life.
 
2012-06-17 12:38:40 AM  
Thanks for farking off and staying the hell out of my life entirely the last 10 years.
 
2012-06-17 12:38:56 AM  
I am sorry that I am such a disappointment.
 
2012-06-17 12:39:26 AM  
I'm seriously depressed over how many of you never knew the joy of having a good man for a father.
 
2012-06-17 12:39:29 AM  
Even though I wouldn't give you the time of day if we met on the street, I miss you you bastard.
 
2012-06-17 12:40:02 AM  
I've never had a dad, so I'm not really getting a kick out of these replies...
 
2012-06-17 12:40:19 AM  
Seriously, you and your wife need counseling and a few sessions with AA. "Needing" a drink to relax (and finish up a whole box of wine every night) when you come in from work every day is a sign of being an alcoholic. That's only one of the reasons you haven't seen your grandson in 6 years and have never met your granddaughter. You're the reason I quit drinking. I guess that's one good thing you've done.
 
2012-06-17 12:40:31 AM  

megalynn44: World's Greatest Dad

[i1181.photobucket.com image 604x486]

[i1181.photobucket.com image 604x394]

[i1181.photobucket.com image 441x604]

/for serious


The duct tape blazer and Crown combo is pretty boss. Sorry about your pops.
 
2012-06-17 12:41:08 AM  
You didn't take your hypertension seriously and then freaked when you had those TIAs, scared you'd stroke out into a vegetable like your father did. Sticking the shotgun in your right ear and pulling the trigger may have seemed preferable at the time, but that meant I had to find you, then go tell Mom, Uncle Ralph & Aunt Marge and then have to call my siblings, too. It also meant you missed seeing all your grandkids and the three great-grandkids so far.

Not exactly the best idea you ever had, right?

Still love you and miss you, but god damn...
 
2012-06-17 12:41:46 AM  
really miss you dad. Hope you're still proud of me and that you don't think I've gone too far off the deep end.

would have loved to have done a long hike with you and really talk with you like I should have so many times.
 
2012-06-17 12:42:21 AM  
They say that time heals all wounds, it's a lie

Your grandkids never met you, they were robbed too
 
2012-06-17 12:42:48 AM  
Thanks for busting your ass 14 hours a day to give my brothers and me the good life.
 
2012-06-17 12:43:12 AM  
I'm so glad that we had the opportunity to spend real time together and reflect on what we meant to each other and I'm grateful that I was able to be holding your hand when you did slip away even though it was painful and I'm sorry that I wasn't sure I wanted to be the one when you asked.

I love you.
 
2012-06-17 12:43:52 AM  

batcookie: I'm seriously depressed over how many of you never knew the joy of having a good man for a father.


Well, in my case, it just makes me that much more dedicated to being a good father myself.
 
2012-06-17 12:44:25 AM  
Nothing.
 
2012-06-17 12:44:36 AM  
Thanks for kicking me while I was down, I am back on my feet no thanks to you. I appreciate being shown how NOT to treat family. My stepfather was a much better father (and human being) than you ever were.

P.S. my brother (your other offspring) said DIAF if you aren't already dead.
 
2012-06-17 12:44:52 AM  
I'd say...

I miss you, dad. And I wish you had a chance to see your grandson grow into a pretty cool kid with a great future. And that I wish you'd had a chance to meet your granddaughter.

And that I see you every time I look in a mirror.

yafh.com
In the mid-70's. I'm the kid on the left.

yafh.com
Not long before his death.

/fark cancer right in the ear.
 
2012-06-17 12:44:55 AM  

batcookie: I'm seriously depressed over how many of you never knew the joy of having a good man for a father.


You're absolutely right. And your earlier post was also very sweet, and I am terribly sorry you lost your father so early.

I do want to say there are many very good fathers out there, and good mothers too, that have had their children alienated from them by some not so good custodial parents, and whose kids may never understand how good those absent parents were, until they become adults, if ever.

So to those farkers, I raise a beer for you.
 
2012-06-17 12:45:11 AM  
[this post intentionally left blank]
 
2012-06-17 12:45:23 AM  
I slit a sheet a sheet I slit and on the slitted sheet I sit.
 
2012-06-17 12:45:24 AM  
So much I would say, so much.......
 
2012-06-17 12:46:25 AM  
I'd ask him if he wants to take the boy and go shoot the new target I made. It is Santa bent over pulling his butt cheeks apart. X ring is the tip of the willy
 
2012-06-17 12:46:38 AM  
This bacon-wrapped smoked meatloaf is awesome.

/srsly, that's what he's making tomorrow. Thanks for setting a good example in the kitchen, Dad!
 
2012-06-17 12:46:51 AM  

MIAppologia: Bathia_Mapes: I remember you posting that second picture in other threads. It always makes me chuckle.

:D That pillow got thrown once he woke up. "VAT DA HELL IS DA MATTAH VITCHOO GUYS! YOU DA VUNS GONNA BE DEAD, I'M GOING BACK TO SHLEEP!"


lol

That's freakin' hilarious. :-D
 
2012-06-17 12:46:59 AM  
I'd say "Slow down a bit in that rainstorm so you don't wreck the farking car and die."

/ He wrecked the car and died.
 
2012-06-17 12:47:09 AM  

batcookie: I'm seriously depressed over how many of you never knew the joy of having a good man for a father.


Agreed.
 
2012-06-17 12:47:32 AM  
Thanks for getting the hell out of our lives when we were too small to remember you much since, from all accounts, things would have been even shiattier than they were if you had stuck around.
 
2012-06-17 12:48:33 AM  
So, where ya been for 29 years?

Oh, and thanks for the farked up middle name.
 
2012-06-17 12:48:35 AM  
I really wish you'd get your life together and be a better father. You owe it to your family, but you've spent 25 years kicking the dirt and lamenting the bad breaks in life. Many of which are your fault.

I've tried getting through to you. Your wife and daughters have done the same. Brushing it off and agreeing just long enough to end the conversation is not a solution.

That's all I have to say.
 
2012-06-17 12:48:49 AM  
Nobody does it better, da'. Nobody. Thank you so very much for being decent and kind.

Now let's go fishing!
 
2012-06-17 12:49:46 AM  
Dear Dad:

Thanks for being there for me for the past 10 years while I've been an adult.
FU for not being there when I was a kid, although I understand why.
 
2012-06-17 12:49:52 AM  

Inaditch: Thanks for getting the hell out of our lives when we were too small to remember you much since, from all accounts, things would have been even shiattier than they were if you had stuck around.


Heh. You're not alone in that sentiment, my friend.
 
2012-06-17 12:50:26 AM  

MalumAltor: Thank you for inspiring me to surpass you in every way. Now that I've done it please die on peace and continue leaving me and my son alone. We're fine thanks to someone showing me what not to do.


In the process of this minus the son

/just 25
//That man is a patholical manipulative liar...
///I am glad I was raised by my grandparents, thank you abuelo for showing me what a man really ought to be and I am so sorry I would no bet celebrating with you your 50 anniversary
 
2012-06-17 12:50:45 AM  
Your example is my aspiration.
 
2012-06-17 12:51:15 AM  
I have no idea what I would say. I never really knew him, he spent most of my childhood in SE Asia, and then left us when I was 11. Never made any attempt to contact us, and the only reason the child support showed up at all is because the Air Force would garnish his check if it didn't. I got a phone call one day from his sister that he had passed away. Didn't go to the funeral. That was over 20 years ago. I've done my best to not be like him, so in a sense he provided a role model.
 
2012-06-17 12:51:18 AM  
My Dad still thinks it was his right to beat up and abuse his wife and kid. He didn't even have being a drunk as an excuse, he was just mean. As a result, I don't have anything I want to say to him.
 
2012-06-17 12:51:35 AM  
Haven't seen you since I was ~10 when you left for good so quit trying to friend me on Facebook 20 years later when you can send me a letter, call me, or even send me a message on Facebook
 
2012-06-17 12:52:11 AM  
When the hell did you get married again? And why didn't you wear shoes during the ceremony? (His FB profile is public)
 
2012-06-17 12:52:13 AM  
My dad passed away last September. We hadn't spoken to each other in almost 3 years and I never got to tell him goodbye. I went fishing today and saw kids out with their dads and remembered what it was like to be young, fishing from the shore with my Donald Duck pole and getting bored too quickly and wanting to leave-- it's one of the many times a memory of my dad pops up during the day.
If I could say anything, I'd say I enjoyed every minute of the time we got to spend together-- hearing his stories of when he was in the merchant marines, when he'd untangle my line when I'd cast it over a tree when we were fishing, when he'd sing me "For The Good Times" to get to sleep at night when I was very little. I'd also say sorry for not being there for him when he was suffering with pancreatic cancer-- if I could take it all back, I would do it, no matter the cost. I would also let him know I've reconciled with my mom and brother and sister and we're now talking again, I'm spending time with them.
I'd also let him know I've been hiking on the Appalachian Trail in memory of him and taking journeys like him. I'm waiting for a stress fracture to heal at the moment but when I'm back on the trail, I'll be able to feel him in my heart again.
Love your dad, guys, they're irreplaceable and you only get one. Please, give your dad an extra hug today if you can and take a moment to forgive them. Remember to forgive yourselves too.
 
2012-06-17 12:52:31 AM  

megalynn44: batcookie: I'm seriously depressed over how many of you never knew the joy of having a good man for a father.

Agreed.


i concur
 
2012-06-17 12:52:43 AM  
Same thing I said to him on his deathbed in May last year

"You're a damn good man and a damn good father."
 
2012-06-17 12:52:44 AM  
Thanks for giving me crippling anxiety and depression that damn near ruined my career. Oh, and the heart disease on your side of the family. Hearing from you last year put me in the hospital with panic attacks and thoughts of suicide. Stay way the hell out of my life and pay Mom's alimony on time, you lazy, selfish asshole.
 
2012-06-17 12:53:11 AM  

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: batcookie: I'm seriously depressed over how many of you never knew the joy of having a good man for a father.

Well, in my case, it just makes me that much more dedicated to being a good father myself.


There need to be more people like you that take that away as a lesson, rather than continuing the behavior they learned as "the way it is."

RoyBatty: batcookie: I'm seriously depressed over how many of you never knew the joy of having a good man for a father.

You're absolutely right. And your earlier post was also very sweet, and I am terribly sorry you lost your father so early.

I do want to say there are many very good fathers out there, and good mothers too, that have had their children alienated from them by some not so good custodial parents, and whose kids may never understand how good those absent parents were, until they become adults, if ever.

So to those farkers, I raise a beer for you.


Indeed. When adults act like children, it's the actual kids that suffer.
 
2012-06-17 12:53:57 AM  
Dad, know how when your first granddaughter was born she instantly started acting like you? Now she's starting to look a bit like you, except she's obviously female. And your youngest granddaughter loves to yell and scream, and she's not even four months yet. So yeah, another one acting like you. HAHAHA

And oh, could you help out my friend turbokat with putting a certain asshat into the wall? No, Gordon hatred is so 1999 Dad. We all hate Johnson now. And yes I know Junior sucks, but he's getting better!

What's that? You hate this Braves manager worse than you do Bobby Cox? No its not Bobby ASSHOLE, its Bobby Cox, and I think Martinez is doing a good job considering its only his second year. Yeah I know they're behind Washington, but they'll get better.

And Dad, I have a much greater appreciation of the job you did now that I work in a factory. Yeah I know you managed a plant, but I now see how hard you had to work to get to where you got to.

We know you're watching over us, and we love and miss you every single day.
 
2012-06-17 12:54:09 AM  
I'll be telling him by phone I love him tomorrow. Probably after a long argument about politics (although we mostly agree on things- he's solidly liberal). I'm seeing him in two weeks when I travel from CA to NC. First time in a couple of years after some turmoil. He's almost 80 so I'm pretty stoked! We're gonna friggin go canoeing... canoeing biatches! Stoked...
 
2012-06-17 12:54:34 AM  
Also... Are we jewish? Because the name, the noses, and the lack of religion in the household has me wondering...
 
2012-06-17 12:54:36 AM  

batcookie: I'm seriously depressed over how many of you never knew the joy of having a good man for a father.


If it makes you feel any better, my mom has been unbelievably amazing as a single parent for 25 years. She busted her ass working 60+ hours a week and still had time to take me to baseball games or school events or on vacations when she could get a day or two away.

She was stern and caring and sarcastic and understanding. She has been supportive throughout my entire life and I have her to thank for damn near everything good in my life.

And, while I don't have kids or a family left, I know in my heart that I had the upbringing and education to be an infinitely better father. It wasn't always the best and my mom sacrificed a ton while having no support raising a child....but I've had a pretty kickass life with countless opportunities before me because my mom has been awesome.
 
2012-06-17 12:55:20 AM  
I'll call him tomorrow, and say: I love you, Dad. Glad you're getting better again after that hospital visit last month, I was really worried.

I won't ask why you never pick up the phone to call me. I know you're just like that, and I don't think you'll ever understand how to interact emotionally with another human being. I've finally accepted it, and I realize it's probably not something you can ever change.

Still wish you could have said "I love you" even once while I was a kid, though. You say it now, and that's something - but it would have counted for a hell of a lot more back then.
 
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