Dead sir:

For every time you woke me up at 2am just to beat me up, for every time you said I was your biggest mistake, for every time you lifted me off my feet while choking me when I was 7, for every time you showed me how much "this hurts me more than it hurts you"

I'm going to find out if you were right...

All I have of my father now are photographs of him and mom, and my memories of course.

Miss ya dad. Still remember playing baseball in the backyard.

Don't marry her, she'll just break your heart, blame you for everything and ruin your life.

Thanks for farking off and staying the hell out of my life entirely the last 10 years.

I am sorry that I am such a disappointment.

I'm seriously depressed over how many of you never knew the joy of having a good man for a father.

Seriously, you and your wife need counseling and a few sessions with AA. "Needing" a drink to relax (and finish up a whole box of wine every night) when you come in from work every day is a sign of being an alcoholic. That's only one of the reasons you haven't seen your grandson in 6 years and have never met your granddaughter. You're the reason I quit drinking. I guess that's one good thing you've done.

really miss you dad. Hope you're still proud of me and that you don't think I've gone too far off the deep end.

would have loved to have done a long hike with you and really talk with you like I should have so many times.

They say that time heals all wounds, it's a lie

Your grandkids never met you, they were robbed too

Thanks for busting your ass 14 hours a day to give my brothers and me the good life.

I'm so glad that we had the opportunity to spend real time together and reflect on what we meant to each other and I'm grateful that I was able to be holding your hand when you did slip away even though it was painful and I'm sorry that I wasn't sure I wanted to be the one when you asked.

I love you.

Thanks for kicking me while I was down, I am back on my feet no thanks to you. I appreciate being shown how NOT to treat family. My stepfather was a much better father (and human being) than you ever were.

P.S. my brother (your other offspring) said DIAF if you aren't already dead.

batcookie: I'm seriously depressed over how many of you never knew the joy of having a good man for a father.

You're absolutely right. And your earlier post was also very sweet, and I am terribly sorry you lost your father so early.

I do want to say there are many very good fathers out there, and good mothers too, that have had their children alienated from them by some not so good custodial parents, and whose kids may never understand how good those absent parents were, until they become adults, if ever.

So to those farkers, I raise a beer for you.

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I slit a sheet a sheet I slit and on the slitted sheet I sit.

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: batcookie: I'm seriously depressed over how many of you never knew the joy of having a good man for a father.

Well, in my case, it just makes me that much more dedicated to being a good father myself.

And good sir, that is why I married a good man. For every deep sadness we learn.

This bacon-wrapped smoked meatloaf is awesome.

/srsly, that's what he's making tomorrow. Thanks for setting a good example in the kitchen, Dad!

I'd say "Slow down a bit in that rainstorm so you don't wreck the farking car and die."

/ He wrecked the car and died.

Thanks for getting the hell out of our lives when we were too small to remember you much since, from all accounts, things would have been even shiattier than they were if you had stuck around.

So, where ya been for 29 years?

Oh, and thanks for the farked up middle name.

I really wish you'd get your life together and be a better father. You owe it to your family, but you've spent 25 years kicking the dirt and lamenting the bad breaks in life. Many of which are your fault.

I've tried getting through to you. Your wife and daughters have done the same. Brushing it off and agreeing just long enough to end the conversation is not a solution.

That's all I have to say.

Nobody does it better, da'. Nobody. Thank you so very much for being decent and kind.

Now let's go fishing!

Dear Dad:

Thanks for being there for me for the past 10 years while I've been an adult.
FU for not being there when I was a kid, although I understand why.

MalumAltor: Thank you for inspiring me to surpass you in every way. Now that I've done it please die on peace and continue leaving me and my son alone. We're fine thanks to someone showing me what not to do.

In the process of this minus the son

/just 25
//That man is a patholical manipulative liar...
///I am glad I was raised by my grandparents, thank you abuelo for showing me what a man really ought to be and I am so sorry I would no bet celebrating with you your 50 anniversary

Your example is my aspiration.

I have no idea what I would say. I never really knew him, he spent most of my childhood in SE Asia, and then left us when I was 11. Never made any attempt to contact us, and the only reason the child support showed up at all is because the Air Force would garnish his check if it didn't. I got a phone call one day from his sister that he had passed away. Didn't go to the funeral. That was over 20 years ago. I've done my best to not be like him, so in a sense he provided a role model.

My Dad still thinks it was his right to beat up and abuse his wife and kid. He didn't even have being a drunk as an excuse, he was just mean. As a result, I don't have anything I want to say to him.

Haven't seen you since I was ~10 when you left for good so quit trying to friend me on Facebook 20 years later when you can send me a letter, call me, or even send me a message on Facebook

When the hell did you get married again? And why didn't you wear shoes during the ceremony? (His FB profile is public)

My dad passed away last September. We hadn't spoken to each other in almost 3 years and I never got to tell him goodbye. I went fishing today and saw kids out with their dads and remembered what it was like to be young, fishing from the shore with my Donald Duck pole and getting bored too quickly and wanting to leave-- it's one of the many times a memory of my dad pops up during the day.
If I could say anything, I'd say I enjoyed every minute of the time we got to spend together-- hearing his stories of when he was in the merchant marines, when he'd untangle my line when I'd cast it over a tree when we were fishing, when he'd sing me "For The Good Times" to get to sleep at night when I was very little. I'd also say sorry for not being there for him when he was suffering with pancreatic cancer-- if I could take it all back, I would do it, no matter the cost. I would also let him know I've reconciled with my mom and brother and sister and we're now talking again, I'm spending time with them.
I'd also let him know I've been hiking on the Appalachian Trail in memory of him and taking journeys like him. I'm waiting for a stress fracture to heal at the moment but when I'm back on the trail, I'll be able to feel him in my heart again.
Love your dad, guys, they're irreplaceable and you only get one. Please, give your dad an extra hug today if you can and take a moment to forgive them. Remember to forgive yourselves too.

megalynn44: batcookie: I'm seriously depressed over how many of you never knew the joy of having a good man for a father.

Agreed.

i concur

Same thing I said to him on his deathbed in May last year

"You're a damn good man and a damn good father."

Thanks for giving me crippling anxiety and depression that damn near ruined my career. Oh, and the heart disease on your side of the family. Hearing from you last year put me in the hospital with panic attacks and thoughts of suicide. Stay way the hell out of my life and pay Mom's alimony on time, you lazy, selfish asshole.

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: batcookie: I'm seriously depressed over how many of you never knew the joy of having a good man for a father.

Well, in my case, it just makes me that much more dedicated to being a good father myself.

There need to be more people like you that take that away as a lesson, rather than continuing the behavior they learned as "the way it is."

RoyBatty: batcookie: I'm seriously depressed over how many of you never knew the joy of having a good man for a father.

You're absolutely right. And your earlier post was also very sweet, and I am terribly sorry you lost your father so early.

I do want to say there are many very good fathers out there, and good mothers too, that have had their children alienated from them by some not so good custodial parents, and whose kids may never understand how good those absent parents were, until they become adults, if ever.

So to those farkers, I raise a beer for you.

Indeed. When adults act like children, it's the actual kids that suffer.

I'll be telling him by phone I love him tomorrow. Probably after a long argument about politics (although we mostly agree on things- he's solidly liberal). I'm seeing him in two weeks when I travel from CA to NC. First time in a couple of years after some turmoil. He's almost 80 so I'm pretty stoked! We're gonna friggin go canoeing... canoeing biatches! Stoked...