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(Bleacher Report)   Dude, your mom is hot   (bleacherreport.com ) divider line
    More: Hero, Amy Balsz, U.S. Open, your mom  
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12532 clicks; posted to Sports » on 17 Jun 2012 at 3:10 AM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



84 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


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2012-06-16 09:31:39 PM  
Damn, I think a kitten will have to die.
 
2012-06-16 11:40:11 PM  

Equilibrist: Damn, I think a kitten will have to die.


Yeah, I'm afraid there will be lots of dead kittens.......
 
2012-06-16 11:43:52 PM  
Shut up, Ted.
 
2012-06-16 11:49:58 PM  

kronicfeld: Shut up, Ted.


Remember when you asked to prom?
 
2012-06-16 11:51:16 PM  
He finished one shot ahead of Tiger Woods. That's too bad - it would have been an awesome pairing.
 
2012-06-17 12:10:48 AM  
Mom I'd Like to enjoy the Front nine with
 
2012-06-17 01:45:55 AM  
Sorry to use this thread as my soapbox, but if this woman could be one of your peers' moms, you can officially call her a MILF. Hot 19 year olds with babies are not MILFs.
 
2012-06-17 04:04:31 AM  

Triumph: He finished one shot ahead of Tiger Woods. That's too bad - it would have been an awesome pairing.


That would be Tiger's true mark of total comeback: winning a major and banging a hot blonde. And that's a serious psyche out to the rest of the field. "I'm gonna kick your ass, and bang your mom, b/c I'm Tiger farking Woods."
 
2012-06-17 04:26:41 AM  
Does he have a sister named "Stacy"?

/If so then...
//Stacy's mom has got it going on.
 
2012-06-17 05:22:25 AM  

jaylectricity: Sorry to use this thread as my soapbox, but if this woman could be one of your peers' moms, you can officially call her a MILF. Hot 19 year olds with babies are not MILFs.


They are the BEST kind of MILFs. Young MILFs.
 
2012-06-17 06:22:48 AM  
I really was cheering for a Tiger - Dorky Kid w/ the MILF pairing today, but I'm pretty sure NBC will have her well covered anyway.
 
2012-06-17 06:44:17 AM  

Triumph: He finished one shot ahead of Tiger Woods. That's too bad - it would have been an awesome pairing.


Speaking of pairing, anyone seen ESPN's front page article about how it's Jim Furyk's fault that Tiger had a bad round yesterday? Maybe the dumbest article I've every read on ESPN, and that is saying something.
 
2012-06-17 08:21:02 AM  

Triumph: He finished one shot ahead of Tiger Woods. That's too bad - it would have been an awesome pairing.


Given the way people have been playing with Tiger lately it could have gotten ugly. He's been back in intimidation mode when it comes to playing partners.
 
2012-06-17 08:31:58 AM  

Doctor Jan Itor: jaylectricity: Sorry to use this thread as my soapbox, but if this woman could be one of your peers' moms, you can officially call her a MILF. Hot 19 year olds with babies are not MILFs.

They are the BEST kind of MILFs. Young MILFs.


Yes, because when I think about hot, I think of young women with excessively-stretched vaginal canals.
 
2012-06-17 08:35:44 AM  

Trocadero: Triumph: He finished one shot ahead of Tiger Woods. That's too bad - it would have been an awesome pairing.

That would be Tiger's true mark of total comeback: winning a major and banging a hot blonde. And that's a serious psyche out to the rest of the field. "I'm gonna kick your ass, and bang your mom, b/c I'm Tiger farking Woods."


i sort of wished that had happened. that would be amazing. similarly i wish that's how he had responded to the whole farking other women story. a giant, "fark you. of course i did. i'm tiger woods."
 
2012-06-17 08:45:38 AM  
Hot as Balsz
 
2012-06-17 09:06:22 AM  

imaconnect4guy: Speaking of pairing, anyone seen ESPN's front page article about how it's Jim Furyk's fault that Tiger had a bad round yesterday? Maybe the dumbest article I've every read on ESPN, and that is saying something.


That's pretty hurpy-derpy.
 
2012-06-17 09:23:38 AM  
Amy is a derivative of the Latin verb "to love" which leads to the obvious conclusion that Beau Hossler's mom loves ballsz.

Happy Fathers Day to Beau Hossler's dad.
 
2012-06-17 09:34:05 AM  
Much more interesting than the golf.
 
2012-06-17 09:43:14 AM  
Huh, so for once subby doesn't misrepresent a pavement-complected hag beast.

Also, she's attractive but not what I would call hot. But that's just nitpicking at this point.
 
2012-06-17 09:44:38 AM  

jaylectricity: Sorry to use this thread as my soapbox, but if this woman could be one of your peers' moms, you can officially call her a MILF. Hot 19 year olds with babies are not MILFs.


Agreed on the 19 year olds, but I wasn't aware she had to be old enough to be MY mom for me to call her a MILF. I call my wife a MILF all the time.

/so does some neighborhood kid
//someone once wrote "MILF" in chalk on the stone wall at the edge of our property
///wife was mortified; I took a picture and saved it
 
2012-06-17 09:52:05 AM  
I work with Amy and she is an amazing woman. So excited for her and her son!
 
2012-06-17 10:26:50 AM  

somefarkersdaughter: I work with Amy and she is an amazing woman. So excited for her and her son!


Are you really getting a kick out of some of these replies?
 
2012-06-17 10:57:46 AM  

jaylectricity: Sorry to use this thread as my soapbox, but if this woman could be one of your peers' moms, you can officially call her a MILF. Hot 19 year olds with babies are not MILFs.


What this Farker said. MILFs are a subset of "hot moms."
 
2012-06-17 11:35:20 AM  

Super Chronic: jaylectricity: Sorry to use this thread as my soapbox, but if this woman could be one of your peers' moms, you can officially call her a MILF. Hot 19 year olds with babies are not MILFs.

Agreed on the 19 year olds, but I wasn't aware she had to be old enough to be MY mom for me to call her a MILF. I call my wife a MILF all the time.


The premise is that the woman in question would be one of your friends' moms, thereby making her as old as your mom. This is a term "invented" by high schoolers who were all roughly the same age.
 
2012-06-17 12:27:24 PM  

jaylectricity: Super Chronic: jaylectricity: Sorry to use this thread as my soapbox, but if this woman could be one of your peers' moms, you can officially call her a MILF. Hot 19 year olds with babies are not MILFs.

Agreed on the 19 year olds, but I wasn't aware she had to be old enough to be MY mom for me to call her a MILF. I call my wife a MILF all the time.

The premise is that the woman in question would be one of your friends' moms, thereby making her as old as your mom. This is a term "invented" by high schoolers who were all roughly the same age.


Yeah, I'm of the opinion that a MILF isn't a MILF unless one of her son/daughter's friends is old enough to be sexually attracted to her. Hot 19 year olds with kids aren't MILFs, but atleast we know they're slutty and prefer not to use a rubber.
 
2012-06-17 12:43:51 PM  
Is this where I clamor for a U.S. Open thread?

/can one person "clamor"?
 
2012-06-17 01:14:53 PM  
Remember when you dropped your keys and I thought the phone was ringing?
 
2012-06-17 01:35:52 PM  
You know she puts out,
 
2012-06-17 01:53:56 PM  
I can't believe this is on the farking sports tab.
 
2012-06-17 02:09:39 PM  

imaconnect4guy: Triumph: He finished one shot ahead of Tiger Woods. That's too bad - it would have been an awesome pairing.

Speaking of pairing, anyone seen ESPN's front page article about how it's Jim Furyk's fault that Tiger had a bad round yesterday? Maybe the dumbest article I've every read on ESPN, and that is saying something.


I had to find the article after I read this and I believe this is the one: Friendly pairing might have hurt Tiger

Hurpy derpy is right. What a pathetic excuse for journalism.

After day 2 they had long videos on television of 2 or 3 minutes of "Tiger's back. He's going to win this one. No one else has a chance. "

Now it's "Tiger's no good. He can't win."

These storylines are farking stupid.
 
2012-06-17 02:32:02 PM  
I'd go Balsz deep in her.....
 
2012-06-17 02:32:52 PM  

king of vegas: imaconnect4guy: Triumph: He finished one shot ahead of Tiger Woods. That's too bad - it would have been an awesome pairing.

Speaking of pairing, anyone seen ESPN's front page article about how it's Jim Furyk's fault that Tiger had a bad round yesterday? Maybe the dumbest article I've every read on ESPN, and that is saying something.

I had to find the article after I read this and I believe this is the one: Friendly pairing might have hurt Tiger

Hurpy derpy is right. What a pathetic excuse for journalism.

After day 2 they had long videos on television of 2 or 3 minutes of "Tiger's back. He's going to win this one. No one else has a chance. "

Now it's "Tiger's no good. He can't win."

These storylines are farking stupid.


They just jumped the gun with "tiger's back" after day two. After all, AFAIK Tiger has never won a major if he isn't leading at the Sunday start. Great frontrunner, zero credentials as comeback/from behind wins. Shoulda waited for day three before going "it's in the BAG"
 
2012-06-17 02:42:34 PM  

AliceBToklasLives: Is this where I clamor for a U.S. Open thread?

/can one person "clamor"?


I think this is it, pal.

/clamor clamor
 
2012-06-17 02:48:12 PM  

Di Atribe: I can't believe this is on the farking sports tab.


We should make room for more poker and wrestling threads!
 
2012-06-17 03:00:05 PM  
Chelsea Handler's looking pretty good these days. Did she put down the vodka?
 
2012-06-17 03:07:43 PM  

zombiegoat: Chelsea Handler's looking pretty good these days. Did she put down the vodka?


No chance in hell.
 
2012-06-17 03:12:15 PM  
In order of win preference:
Beau Hossler
Tiger Woods
Ernie smEls

If one of those can't happen, then I'm voting for absolute chaos and a 6 person playoff.
 
2012-06-17 03:24:12 PM  

bulldg4life: Di Atribe: I can't believe this is on the farking sports tab.

We should make room for more poker and wrestling threads!


Someone found a good looking woman at a sports event. BFD

Wait, there are poker threads?
 
2012-06-17 03:27:19 PM  

Di Atribe: bulldg4life: Di Atribe: I can't believe this is on the farking sports tab.

We should make room for more poker and wrestling threads!

Someone found a good looking woman at a sports event. BFD

Wait, there are poker threads?


You shush. We now have a US Open thread, regadless of how spurious the circumstances.
 
2012-06-17 03:27:29 PM  

The Smails Kid: AliceBToklasLives: Is this where I clamor for a U.S. Open thread?

/can one person "clamor"?

I think this is it, pal.

/clamor clamor


I went & checked TF and it would appear that there are exactly zero US Open threads (unless there was one submitted without the words "US" and "Open"). No one submitted a thread at all. How can you bemoan not getting what you want when you didn't even ask? Come on, guys.

/clamor clamor
 
2012-06-17 03:28:20 PM  

The Smails Kid: You shush. We now have a US Open thread, regadless of how spurious the circumstances.


I can't shush. It's like that part of my brain is broken. Now let's all go submit links. We might get lucky.
 
2012-06-17 03:38:15 PM  

Di Atribe: The Smails Kid: AliceBToklasLives: Is this where I clamor for a U.S. Open thread?

/can one person "clamor"?

I think this is it, pal.

/clamor clamor

I went & checked TF and it would appear that there are exactly zero US Open threads (unless there was one submitted without the words "US" and "Open"). No one submitted a thread at all. How can you bemoan not getting what you want when you didn't even ask? Come on, guys.

/clamor clamor


I submitted one yesterday about Hossler (not his mom). I'll submit another.
 
2012-06-17 03:38:28 PM  

Di Atribe: I went & checked TF and it would appear that there are exactly zero US Open threads (unless there was one submitted without the words "US" and "Open"). No one submitted a thread at all. How can you bemoan not getting what you want when you didn't even ask? Come on, guys.

/clamor clamor


true dat - thread submitted

/Matt 21:22
 
2012-06-17 03:39:58 PM  

bulldg4life: Di Atribe: I can't believe this is on the farking sports tab.

We should make room for more poker and wrestling threads!


I was gonna say at least wrestling involves enough exertion to make the participants sweat, but then I remembered watching guys at a table last month pouring buckets at having to reach for some wings, so.
 
2012-06-17 03:53:14 PM  
Hey, did you guys know Johnny Miller is from San Francisco and feels that Olympic Club is his own little baby? He was the first and most important junior member and he played there before. And, of course, he shot a 63 and won a us open.

If you forgot, he will remind you a couple times today.
 
2012-06-17 03:58:07 PM  

jaylectricity: Sorry to use this thread as my soapbox, but if this woman could be one of your peers' moms, you can officially call her a MILF. Hot 19 year olds with babies are not MILFs.


Another vote in support of this. A 19 year old single girl with a baby is just called a ho where I come from. A MILF has to have raised at least one kid successfully to adulthood in order to earn the "Mom" part of the title.
 
2012-06-17 04:04:00 PM  

AliceBToklasLives: true dat - thread submitted

/Matt 21:22


I submitted one, too. Now to wake the admins up....


robsul82: I was gonna say at least wrestling involves enough exertion to make the participants sweat, but then I remembered watching guys at a table last month pouring buckets at having to reach for some wings, so.


Yeah, I wouldn't call poker a sport. It's a competition for sure, but are all competitions sports? Chess? Spelling bees? Trivia?
 
2012-06-17 04:05:43 PM  

HotWingAgenda: A 19 year old single girl with a baby is just called a ho where I come from.


Wow, really? Pretty judgmental. You never had sex when you were 19?
 
2012-06-17 04:09:23 PM  
1-6 are going to determine the winner today. Whoever in the last few groups can hit the 7th tee even for today is going to be in the driver's seat.
 
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