If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Chicago Sun-Times)   You don't win friends with salad. You don't win friends with salad. You don't win friends with salad. You don't win friends with salad   (suntimes.com) divider line 64
    More: Fail, salads  
•       •       •

10026 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 Jun 2012 at 3:22 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



64 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
2012-06-16 12:54:13 PM  
So do you win friends with salad?
 
2012-06-16 12:58:09 PM  
It's just a little dirty. It's still good! It's still good!
 
2012-06-16 01:02:21 PM  
www.suntimes.com
*Serving suggestion
 
2012-06-16 01:06:49 PM  
Subby, when you wonder why you don't have any friends, salad has next to nothing to do with it.

Now finish your vegetables or it's back to the kiddie table for you.
 
2012-06-16 01:14:13 PM  
gifsoup.com
 
2012-06-16 01:15:45 PM  
... Okay, so the actual "recipe" is green beans in balsamic vinaigrette. That's it. There's nothing else. Just cooking green beans, adding balsamic and a little salt and pepper.

That sort of thing can sell cook books now?
 
2012-06-16 01:25:07 PM  
What if there are boobs in it?
 
2012-06-16 01:28:07 PM  

Rincewind53: ... Okay, so the actual "recipe" is green beans in balsamic vinaigrette. That's it. There's nothing else. Just cooking green beans, adding balsamic and a little salt and pepper.

That sort of thing can sell cook books now?


Well yeah. In fact, I have a new recipe. I call it "banana" and it's in my new book "Cooking With One Ingredient".
 
2012-06-16 02:23:58 PM  
s3-ec.buzzfed.com
 
2012-06-16 02:34:43 PM  

Rincewind53: ... Okay, so the actual "recipe" is green beans in balsamic vinaigrette. That's it. There's nothing else. Just cooking green beans, adding balsamic and a little salt and pepper.

That sort of thing can sell cook books now?


No. An "author" from a successful TV show, expensive clothes and professional photography on the cover, and a publishing powerhouse behind you to push it into stores is what sells books. The recipes come from professional recipe writers and are cobbled together by an editor from a giant pool of recipes. The editor then sends it to a ghostwriter for the narrative.

Doesn't matter if it's a "Real Housewife" cookbook, Ina Garten, or anyone else. That's how it works, generally. There are some chefs who write, but not many. And usually, the best they do is write the recipes and give an interview to the ghostwriter.

I don't understand why anyone buys a cookbook anymore - it's all online. I have some reference books on sausage making and butchering, but all my recipes come from online sources.
 
2012-06-16 02:40:01 PM  

farkingismybusiness: [s3-ec.buzzfed.com image 454x541]


i105.photobucket.com
 
2012-06-16 02:59:32 PM  

Benevolent Misanthrope: I don't understand why anyone buys a cookbook anymore - it's all online. I have some reference books on sausage making and butchering, but all my recipes come from online sources.


Beard on Bread is a must have if you like to make awesome bread at home, you can find some of the recipes in it online but nowhere near the whole book as far as I can tell
 
2012-06-16 03:16:49 PM  
Am I missing the joke in submitter's headline??
 
2012-06-16 03:18:45 PM  

martissimo: Benevolent Misanthrope: I don't understand why anyone buys a cookbook anymore - it's all online. I have some reference books on sausage making and butchering, but all my recipes come from online sources.

Beard on Bread is a must have if you like to make awesome bread at home, you can find some of the recipes in it online but nowhere near the whole book as far as I can tell


I should clarify - I don't know why people buy this type of cookbook. Reference works (Beard on Bread, Peterman's Sauces, the River Cottage Meat Book, Julia Child's original Mastery of French Cooking, Ruhlman's Charcuterie, to name a few), yes. Things that teach technique. But if I'm just looking for a "what to make with X" recipe, I go online. I certainly would not spend money on any recipe I saw on TV. Those are definitely out there.
 
2012-06-16 03:18:51 PM  

SilentStrider: Am I missing the joke in submitter's headline??


Simpsons did it.
 
2012-06-16 03:20:49 PM  

SilentStrider: Am I missing the joke in submitter's headline??


Yep.
 
2012-06-16 03:27:42 PM  
Man On A Mission SmartestFunniest 2012-06-16 03:20:49 PM


SilentStrider: Am I missing the joke in submitter's headline??

Yep.


There was a time when every third post on Fark was a quote from the Simpsons.
 
2012-06-16 03:27:56 PM  

Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: Rincewind53: ... Okay, so the actual "recipe" is green beans in balsamic vinaigrette. That's it. There's nothing else. Just cooking green beans, adding balsamic and a little salt and pepper.

That sort of thing can sell cook books now?

Well yeah. In fact, I have a new recipe. I call it "banana" and it's in my new book "Cooking With One Ingredient".


Rachel Ray's Late Night Bacon
 
2012-06-16 03:29:09 PM  
uh, isn't it "You can't win friends with salad"?
 
2012-06-16 03:29:32 PM  
It's still good, it's still good!
 
2012-06-16 03:30:00 PM  

FloydA: Simpsons did it.


ahhhhhhhh
 
2012-06-16 03:30:15 PM  
It's just a little airborne! It's just a little airborne!
 
2012-06-16 03:30:56 PM  
Granddad, you can't tame the white supremacist power structure with cheese!
 
2012-06-16 03:32:31 PM  

Shostie: Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: Rincewind53: ... Okay, so the actual "recipe" is green beans in balsamic vinaigrette. That's it. There's nothing else. Just cooking green beans, adding balsamic and a little salt and pepper.

That sort of thing can sell cook books now?

Well yeah. In fact, I have a new recipe. I call it "banana" and it's in my new book "Cooking With One Ingredient".

Rachel Ray's Late Night Bacon


i105.photobucket.com
 
2012-06-16 03:34:26 PM  
You can win many friends if you toss their salads -;)
 
2012-06-16 03:34:34 PM  

FloydA: Shostie: Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: Rincewind53: ... Okay, so the actual "recipe" is green beans in balsamic vinaigrette. That's it. There's nothing else. Just cooking green beans, adding balsamic and a little salt and pepper.

That sort of thing can sell cook books now?

Well yeah. In fact, I have a new recipe. I call it "banana" and it's in my new book "Cooking With One Ingredient".

Rachel Ray's Late Night Bacon

[i105.photobucket.com image 307x288]


Is that a young Susan Boyle?
 
2012-06-16 03:34:49 PM  
sounds like a Jim Morrison lyric.
 
2012-06-16 03:36:23 PM  

Gaius: sounds like a Jim Morrison lyric.


Goddamit, you! I had just gone, copypasta-ed the lyric, and come back to post it. By cranky, I'm doin' it anyway...

When I was back there in seminary school
There was a person there
Who put forth the proposition
That you can petition the Lord with prayer
Petition the lord with prayer
Petition the lord with prayer
You cannot petition the lord with prayer!
 
2012-06-16 03:37:14 PM  

FloydA: Shostie: Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: Rincewind53: ... Okay, so the actual "recipe" is green beans in balsamic vinaigrette. That's it. There's nothing else. Just cooking green beans, adding balsamic and a little salt and pepper.

That sort of thing can sell cook books now?

Well yeah. In fact, I have a new recipe. I call it "banana" and it's in my new book "Cooking With One Ingredient".

Rachel Ray's Late Night Bacon


Rachael Ray can go fark herself. I hate that stupid twat.

/with her "stoups"
//growl, grumble
 
2012-06-16 03:39:10 PM  
img829.imageshack.us
 
2012-06-16 03:42:39 PM  
┬─┬ノ( º _ ºノ)
 
2012-06-16 03:44:58 PM  

Todashy: FloydA: Shostie: Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: Rincewind53: ... Okay, so the actual "recipe" is green beans in balsamic vinaigrette. That's it. There's nothing else. Just cooking green beans, adding balsamic and a little salt and pepper.

That sort of thing can sell cook books now?

Well yeah. In fact, I have a new recipe. I call it "banana" and it's in my new book "Cooking With One Ingredient".

Rachel Ray's Late Night Bacon

Rachael Ray can go fark herself. I hate that stupid twat.

/with her "stoups"
//growl, grumble


I think she's pretty hot though. I'd brown her hash.
 
2012-06-16 03:50:41 PM  
neighborhoodvalues.com

You don't kill fiends with salad! You don't kill fiends with salad!
 
2012-06-16 03:53:53 PM  

dahmers love zombie: Gaius: sounds like a Jim Morrison lyric.

Goddamit, you! I had just gone, copypasta-ed the lyric, and come back to post it. By cranky, I'm doin' it anyway...

When I was back there in seminary school
There was a person there
Who put forth the proposition
That you can petition the Lord with prayer
Petition the lord with prayer
Petition the lord with prayer
You cannot petition the lord with prayer!


and that was the lyric in mind. Kudos!
 
2012-06-16 03:55:47 PM  

Rincewind53: ... Okay, so the actual "recipe" is green beans in balsamic vinaigrette. That's it. There's nothing else. Just cooking green beans, adding balsamic and a little salt and pepper.

That sort of thing can sell cook books now?


There's one for Ramen Noodle, so why the heck not!!
 
2012-06-16 04:00:13 PM  
Chocolate or syrup?
 
2012-06-16 04:01:37 PM  

Shostie:

Rachel Ray's Late Night Bacon


That's just the code word she and her husband use for sex. E.g. "in the mood for some late night bacon, honey?"
 
2012-06-16 04:03:11 PM  
I refute wholeheartedly the assertion that one cannot win friends with salad, and in fact, I have won friends with salad before.

/So there
//Oh yeah...

x8e.xanga.com
 
2012-06-16 04:08:41 PM  
FTA: Fabulicious! Fast & Fit (Running Press, $18.95)

Sounds more like a gay mens fitness magazine than a cookbook.
 
2012-06-16 04:22:56 PM  
After reading the article, and the comments herein, I have come to the conclusion that: You don't win friends with salad.

When I invite friends and neighbors over, the LAST thing I would feed them is salad. Ribs, steak, hot links, grilled pork chops, grilled corn and beer is WAY more effective than 'salad'.

Quite frankly, if you have friends who come over for a salad party, you're all 'luzorz' of the highest calibre.

Suck it vegans!
 
2012-06-16 04:27:45 PM  
Sure Lisa, a maaaaagical animal.
 
2012-06-16 04:33:07 PM  
farm6.static.flickr.com
 
2012-06-16 04:33:21 PM  
I still don't know what the hell I'm looking at here. Is anyone keeping track of who green lights what?
 
2012-06-16 04:37:19 PM  
i0.kym-cdn.com
 
2012-06-16 04:43:03 PM  

SilentStrider: FloydA: Simpsons did it.

ahhhhhhhh


If it's any consolation, I just learned about this 7 hours ago...
 
2012-06-16 05:10:54 PM  

Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: Rincewind53: ... Okay, so the actual "recipe" is green beans in balsamic vinaigrette. That's it. There's nothing else. Just cooking green beans, adding balsamic and a little salt and pepper.

That sort of thing can sell cook books now?

Well yeah. In fact, I have a new recipe. I call it "banana" and it's in my new book "Cooking With One Ingredient".


I would find that helpful. I need instructions for those things. Can never figure out how to open them.
 
2012-06-16 05:17:38 PM  
You don't win friends with salad.

You win friends by tossing their salad.
 
2012-06-16 05:26:21 PM  

Smoking GNU: [i0.kym-cdn.com image 550x400]


I wonder what they taste like...
 
2012-06-16 05:39:24 PM  

The Dreaded Rear Admiral: Todashy: FloydA: Shostie: Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: Rincewind53: ... Okay, so the actual "recipe" is green beans in balsamic vinaigrette. That's it. There's nothing else. Just cooking green beans, adding balsamic and a little salt and pepper.

That sort of thing can sell cook books now?

Well yeah. In fact, I have a new recipe. I call it "banana" and it's in my new book "Cooking With One Ingredient".

Rachel Ray's Late Night Bacon

Rachael Ray can go fark herself. I hate that stupid twat.

/with her "stoups"
//growl, grumble

I think she's pretty hot though. I'd brown her hash.


If only there were something I could shove into her mouth to keep her from talking, she'd be fun to hang around with
 
2012-06-16 05:39:43 PM  

thisisarepeat: Is anyone keeping track of who green lights what?


It's randomized by a computer program since actually expecting the modmins to greenlight things themselves was cutting into their drinking time.

/ or so I've heard
// I could be wrong
/// it could be hyperactive monkeys
 
Displayed 50 of 64 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter





In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report