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(Boston Herald)   Study finds that frozen trumpets sound like unfrozen trumpets. Still no cure for cancer   ( divider line
    More: Weird  
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6591 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Nov 2003 at 6:39 AM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

85 Comments     (+0 »)
2003-11-11 06:45:53 AM  
At least the frozen trumpets don't have that spit valve problem -- assuming the spit wouldnt flow anyway. I think we may have hit on something here.
2003-11-11 06:51:56 AM  
But frozen trumpet swans do not sound the same as unfrozen trumpet swans. So I've heard...
2003-11-11 06:54:04 AM  
cmraman: That's how I read the headline. Too early for me, I guess.
2003-11-11 06:54:04 AM  
I, for one, welcome our new rapid Fark-link approving overlords.
2003-11-11 07:00:22 AM  
Well that blows...
2003-11-11 07:05:41 AM  
Well blow me down, ag agag agagaga
2003-11-11 07:12:29 AM  
Is someone getting paid for this? Hope not
2003-11-11 07:14:01 AM  
Hooray! Another frozen musical instrument myth debunked!
2003-11-11 07:15:28 AM  
why did it take three years to freeze the trumpet?
2003-11-11 07:23:13 AM  
As a trumpet major in college I must say that players try all sorts of crazy things in the name of "tone". From added weights soldered into the lower valve caps to the removal of certain mounting brackets. It's kind of strange but I admit making a few of these changes to my C trumpet.

The Monette trumpets, for example, are pretty bizarre looking but are some of the best made. Here's a pic of a "decorated" one-

[image from too old to be available]
2003-11-11 07:40:29 AM  
I know a kid who plays the trumpet. Hes like Die Hard hardcore into the trumpet.

He has a wierd bone structure and his forehead looks like a Klingon.
2003-11-11 07:44:15 AM  
...because companies that sell trumpets like the one who commissioned the study work on cancer cures, after all....
2003-11-11 07:46:43 AM  
I have a thing for punks and/or skater guys.

end quote
2003-11-11 07:55:45 AM  
I don't even think scientists are legally allowed to find a cure for cancer, it's been patented or something like that.
2003-11-11 07:59:08 AM  
I thought either the Beatles or Pink Floyd had already proven this.
2003-11-11 07:59:59 AM  
[image from too old to be available]
2003-11-11 08:00:42 AM  
And yet again we see good money thrown away on asshat studies!
2003-11-11 08:02:26 AM  
(some guy)
img.fark.netView Full Size
Study finds that people are willing to fund ridiculous studies. (14)
2003-11-11 08:05:06 AM  

Trumpet was your major in college?Cool!

I should have gone to college and majored in banjo!
2003-11-11 08:05:31 AM  
Cyrogenically frozen trumpets using liquid nitrogen? It didn't stop Robert Patrick now did it, and it won't stop the evil trumpet terminator either.
2003-11-11 08:12:53 AM  
Vinegar Jones
I am a guitar major in college and its a riot every day, except for my theory teacher. He is a farking bastard.
But anyway my friend Robbie is a senior Trumpet major and does some wierd shiat to his Trumpet.
2003-11-11 08:13:38 AM  
I was a music major in college and I heard of a lot of things trumpet players did to get a better sound, but the only times I ever saw anyone play a frozen trumpet, they were freezing right along with it.

At least they're not freezing the mouthpiece as well...
2003-11-11 08:15:05 AM  
Can you freeze a Tromboner ??
2003-11-11 08:16:21 AM  
I once tried playing a trumpet that had been frozen in liquid nitrogen. Had to wait until the damn thing thawed before I could get my lips unstuck from the mouthpiece.
2003-11-11 08:18:25 AM  
See you youngins better stay in school! I did'nt even know you could major in specific insturments.

I quit school in high school cause I got sick of living with my drunk mom and drug addict dad.

But on the plus side I never froze a trumpet.
2003-11-11 08:20:34 AM  
not everyone who studies things wants to cure cancer, you lame-ass hack tagline writing SONS OF WHORES
2003-11-11 08:27:17 AM  
Oh, come on, Halitosis, tell us how you really feel.
2003-11-11 08:30:30 AM  
Hey dtinferno, your AudioEdit submission for show promos was greenlighted a few months back and there are promos waiting there for you. A couple of us tried to email you but never got any replies.
2003-11-11 08:31:42 AM  
Halitosis, are you saying some people _want_ cancer?

I'll quit being irrational now.
2003-11-11 08:33:42 AM  
scientists find cure for heart disease - still no cure for cancer

2003-11-11 08:35:12 AM  
Phew, glad I didn't have to find that out all by myself. Now I can sleep well again.
2003-11-11 08:36:59 AM  
Cue band jokes...
2003-11-11 08:44:30 AM  
Actually if you were to MAKE the trumpet differently it would produce a different tone. Freezing would be the way to go, if you were to take the brass the trumpet was made from and use a process called single crystal splat cooling (which takes the molten metal and cools it very quickly so that it only has one large crystal in it) and then make the trumpet out of THAT metal you could probably get better sound quality. The material you would be making the trumpet out of would be extremely uniform and have the same acoustical qualities throughout. Just my 2 cents.
2003-11-11 08:46:27 AM  
'better' is entirely subjective. let's analyze miles davis' trumpet(s) and have every trumpet sound just like his, oh wait that would BLOW ASS because variety is the spice of life.

2003-11-11 08:52:01 AM  
Is there a cure for halitosis yet?
2003-11-11 08:52:35 AM  
Sometimes people have too much time on their hands. Or frozen trumpets in them.
2003-11-11 08:56:07 AM  
A trumpet like that, playing cool jazz. I'd love it.

got nuttin', as usual.
2003-11-11 08:59:36 AM  
Hello, I'd like a strawberry Push Pop, 2 Bomb Pops, and one Frozen Trumpet.
2003-11-11 09:00:51 AM  
'binnster' is a metaphor for 'retarded jackass who needs to die, real soon now'
2003-11-11 09:02:41 AM  

Looks like someone did nae eat their porridge this morning....
2003-11-11 09:06:42 AM  
Parents everywhere are going to freeze their kids' brass instruments in the hopes that having them frozen to their lips will make them practice more.
2003-11-11 09:08:33 AM  
Looks like someone pissed in Halitosis cherrios this morning.

lighten up dude, it's only Tuesday
2003-11-11 09:10:15 AM  
I fail to see how freezing strumpets makes them sound any better.
2003-11-11 09:15:59 AM  
isn't this just typical? it's like NASA. they send stuff up into space, to find out how it responds to weightlessness. duh, it floats. these kinds of studies, i swear, are conducted by the frat kid who raids the fridge, then the garbage, and puts the contents in the blender, wondering what the pledger thinks it will taste like.
2003-11-11 09:16:55 AM  
I wonder if these guys know about that.
2003-11-11 09:17:31 AM  
Jazz, Great, noice!

[image from too old to be available]
2003-11-11 09:21:58 AM  

'binnster' is a metaphor for 'retarded jackass who needs to die, real soon now'

Oh dear, I appear to have upset you. Come here, let me give you a hug and make it all better!!
2003-11-11 09:28:57 AM  
Frozen trumpets shown to cure cancer. Still no cure for Fark flamewars.
2003-11-11 09:29:11 AM  
Account created: 2003-09-29

He/she knoweth not what they doeth.
2003-11-11 09:40:17 AM  
Who argues over trumpets really?
2003-11-11 09:40:37 AM  
I hear that if played improperly, both bear a marked resemblance to the sound of the butt trumpet.
2003-11-11 09:46:20 AM  
For borg9 and dtinferno:

I've heard McDonald's is now hiring trainee managers.
2003-11-11 09:50:15 AM  
There may be no difference in the sound of frozen trumpets, but nothing compare to the sound of a trumpeter ripping away part of his lip with a frozen mouthpiece. God, I hated Christmas parades.
2003-11-11 09:51:10 AM  
1) freeze trumpet

2) triple-dog dare band geek to stick his/her tongue to mouthpiece

3) laugh heartily
2003-11-11 09:51:28 AM  
Since no one else has done it:

"This one time at band camp, I stuck a frozen trumpet--"

Ah, geez, I can't even finish it.
2003-11-11 09:54:22 AM  
Music majors are scary. Who else would take 22 credit hours, be in Marching Band, Concert Band, 2 different garage bands, spend 3 hours a day practicing in a 4x4 room and still have time to fark.
2003-11-11 10:00:37 AM  
There may be no difference in the sound of frozen trumpets, but nothing compare to the sound of a trumpeter ripping away part of his lip with a frozen mouthpiece.

How about the sight of the inside of a young trumpet player's mouth who is learning to play WHILE WEARING BRACES! I shoulda switched to guitar after they bolted those monsters on my teeth. Nothing like a little blood to make your cafeteria lunch that much more yummy.
2003-11-11 10:17:21 AM  
"This one time, at band camp...."
2003-11-11 10:25:38 AM  
When I was to start playing a musical instrument, I chose the trumpet, and found I didn't like it, but thought I would like the trombone because I didn't have to leanr finger positions for that. But they refused to get me a trombone and so I quit band, and now don't know how to play any musical instrument or read sheet music.

Damn youuuuuuuuuuuuuu!

Actually, drums were my first choice for instrument I think. But they wouldn't get me those.
2003-11-11 10:27:00 AM  
Son of Thunder: How about an old trumpet player who got braces in his 30s and then picked up the trumpet again after 20 years off? Can you say "maso"?
2003-11-11 10:35:37 AM  
being a brass player I can only imagine having that cold thing up to my lips without everclear or JD on my slide or in my valves (the horn's valves and mine actually).

it was more fun to keep the horns warm AND keep the flag girls/twirlers warm too... ah for the good ole days...

what's that dear?? - ah nothing, just talking to Drew...
2003-11-11 10:35:47 AM  
I guess this is sort of obvious, but putting your trumpet in the freezer is a LOT different than putting your trumpet in liquid nitrogen. Like ~177 degrees C (or ~319 degrees F) colder.
2003-11-11 10:41:17 AM  
The only thing keeping the flag girls/twirlers warm are their drummer (and occasionally jock) boyfriends. Not brass players...except for the one girl who flitters between that "cool" handful of brass guys. But she doesn't count because she has No Attention From My Daddy-Syndrome and thinks her thighs are fat.
2003-11-11 10:45:43 AM  
Can someone post a picture of Phil Hartman as the Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer so that asshat blogger can come back here and whine about his bandwith being stolen?

last month's frozen thread
2003-11-11 10:48:26 AM  
Everything that I've heard about cryo treatment of metals is that it really doesn't affect brass alloys, so this is shenanigans. What does affect brass instruments is the stress left after forming, and assembly, and the hardness of the metal. Trumpeters are the worst equipment junkies of all the brass players, so they'll buy just about anything, but who am I to talk.

Studies have found that heating a viola past combustion temperature will improve its sound.
2003-11-11 10:59:11 AM  
Studies have found that heating a viola past combustion temperature will improve its sound.

And, of course, the primary difference between an oboe and a basoon is that the basoon burns longer.
2003-11-11 11:25:07 AM  
Of course, my submission about AN ACTUAL CURE FOR CANCER doesn't get posted.
2003-11-11 11:25:12 AM  
People FREEZE trumpets????

Is there some sort of fatal trumpet disease that we hope can be cured in the future?

Do they chop the head off the trumpet and store it seperately?

When will we see the news articles about the fight between the son and daughter of the trumpet owner?

*shakes head*

2003-11-11 11:26:32 AM  
They'd really sound better if they'd just switch to maple one-piece necks, stainless 6100 wire, swamp ash bodies with Suhr vintage double screw bakelite bobbin pickups.

Oh, wait, they're TRUMPET PLAYERS....

They should make the whole thing out of iconel, triple the thickness until the bell so no energy is wasted vibrating non-resonant parts. The bell should be asymetrical so as not to favor one particular frequency, and there should be something to match phase placed in the center of the bell ala most modern hf p.a. horns.

Freezing them???
2003-11-11 11:47:15 AM  
I had that guy (Chris Rogers... well, ok, "Chip") as a professor last year. Its actually fairly interesting stuff when you get into it. There's a minor in musical instrument studies at Tufts for the mechanical engineering department, and they do a bunch of whacky studies like that, but there's a hell of a lot more science and engineering behind these things than you might expect.

He also does a lot of work for companies - last year he was working with Hammond, as well as a few churches with large old pipe organs. You'd be amazed how much money is in it.
2003-11-11 12:18:43 PM  
I'll have to remember that phrase next time I want to try a little cyber...

"I'm putting my lips on your frozen trumpet now."
2003-11-11 12:31:53 PM  
As a trombone player, I read the headline and immediatley thought, "I hope they let them thaw, a cold trumpet is most likely going to sound somewhat sharper than a warm trumpet."

I am such a band geek.
2003-11-11 12:55:09 PM  
I don't understand why this study is generating so much ridicule from some of you. It was commissioned and funded by Selmer Musical Instruments. What's so weird about a company that makes musical instrument funding a study of whether a certain process improves the sound of a musical instrument? Do you find the idea of a musical instrument company funding R&D strange? Or is this just spillover ridicule of anything cryogenic after the Ted Williams debacle?
2003-11-11 12:59:37 PM  

That's because it's on slashdot where everything is spelled wrong.
2003-11-11 01:30:37 PM  
Mabman, cold instruments tend to be flat.


Music majors are scary. Who else would take 22 credit hours, be in Marching Band, Concert Band, 2 different garage bands, spend 3 hours a day practicing in a 4x4 room and still have time to fark.

You left out orchestra and chamber ensembles, plus preparing for auditions and competitions and STILL finding time to both fark and to fark.

Music majors are like rabbits.
2003-11-11 01:35:27 PM  
Sod A Dog

They fark like rabbits too...when they can get it.
2003-11-11 01:45:06 PM  
What do you call a musician that just broke up with his girlfriend?


Thank you. Try the veal.
2003-11-11 01:50:01 PM  

nice one


2003-11-11 01:50:30 PM  
This group of explorers were crossing into unexplored jungle, when the sound of distant drumming began to be heard. They asked the native bearers what the drums meant.

"Drums not bad. When drums stop, very bad." They replied.

The days went on, and as the expedition pushed further into the jungle, the drums pounded unceasingly, night and day. Whenever asked, the bearers replied:

"Drums not bad. When drums stop, very bad."

Sure enough, after a few days, the drums suddenly stop. The bearers break out in a sweat and gape at each other, wide-eyed.

"What is it?" cried the explorers. "What's going to happen now?" The lead bearer could barely speak through his chattering teeth.

"Bass solo!"
2003-11-11 01:56:53 PM  
2003-11-11 02:22:01 PM  
As a bass player who never ever got a solo in all his years of jazz band, I can tell you that if I'd had one it would not suck as much as many I've heard.

And I must say the same thing as many people have: I pity the poor bastard who decides to freeze the whole trumpet and then try to play it. I know I'll never try to freeze my euphonium (it doesn't fit in the freezer anyways.)
2003-11-11 03:18:32 PM  
Sometimes these unusual studies find amazing things.. like..

frozen trumpets make the meat they are frozen with taste better

Unfortunately studies just arent as holistic as they used to be. Stupid scientific method.
2003-11-11 03:38:56 PM  
I think they are a little late. I took part in cryo freezing brass instruments 11 years ago at the University of Kentucky. Results varied.

I still have the trombone that I had cryo frozen. We did before and after tests with DAT and db readers and a device to analyize the wave form. I was loudest with 106db on high Bflat :)

Supposedly, when you play a note on a brass instrument, there are multiple harmonics playing that help make up the texture of the sound of that note and cryo'ing youre trombone helped lessen the effects of some of these to give it a more "pure" tone. I guess it should make the sound appear more as a sine wave.

This was 11 years ago and Ive tried to mentally block most of my time at UK so take this with a grain of salt.
2003-11-11 04:19:18 PM  
Trumpets are already frozen. If they weren't, you'd need a container of some sort so they wouldn't run all over the place.
2003-11-11 08:32:52 PM  
but frozen trumpets are a little harder to put down after playing them then their unfrozen brothers, or so I've heard.
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