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(CBS Philadelphia)   Testing scandal on proficiency exams linked to: A) high school seniors B) medical school applicants C) TSA agents   (philadelphia.cbslocal.com) divider line 91
    More: Fail, TSA, does not follow, exams, scandals  
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4775 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 Jun 2012 at 10:37 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-06-16 08:36:09 AM
What a sample TSA standardized test question might look like....

12) Which one of these is an airplane?

a)

beyondthebottle.org

b)
4.bp.blogspot.com

c)
2.bp.blogspot.com

d) All of the above
 
2012-06-16 08:50:47 AM
TSA has proficiency exams?
 
2012-06-16 09:46:24 AM
They don't even require them to be a high school graduate so I could see where they might need help.
 
2012-06-16 10:39:06 AM
Biggest welfare job program going.
 
2012-06-16 10:40:36 AM
"TSA holds all of its employees to the highest professional and ethical standards and has zero tolerance for misconduct in the workplace."

i1233.photobucket.com
 
2012-06-16 10:43:11 AM
I thought proficiency level TSA candidates had to meet was walk and breathe at the same time (and they'll go lightly on the walking portion).
 
2012-06-16 10:49:15 AM
TSA Proficiency Question

4.) What does chicken taste like?

a.) fish
b.) catnip
c.) chicken
d.) your mom
 
2012-06-16 10:56:24 AM
Does anyone know how many crooks the TSA have caught? Not counting themselves of course.
 
2012-06-16 10:57:33 AM

SilentStrider: TSA has proficiency exams?


It takes a lot of training to be able to ignore a handgun in the luggage and fondle someone's nuts at the same time.
 
2012-06-16 10:57:39 AM
And it took them eight months to investigate this? That's some mighty fine police work there, Lou.

Comforting to know that those charged with the safety and security of everything that moves in this country are themselves corrupt and incompetent.
 
2012-06-16 11:00:08 AM
"The decision to propose the removal of the seven TSA employees affirms our strong commitment to the safety of the traveling public and to hold all our employees to the highest standards of conduct and accountability."

Translation: We're waiting for all this to blow over so we can decide to propose keeping them anyways because we're short on losers - err - agents.

(All the rest of the quote is marketing BS)
 
2012-06-16 11:01:18 AM
Great, now I have to subject myself to inexpert fondling.
 
2012-06-16 11:03:37 AM

Brick-House: Does anyone know how many crooks the TSA have caught? Not counting themselves of course.


If the answer is zero they would tell you it's because they're a deterrent.
 
2012-06-16 11:06:53 AM

Brick-House: Does anyone know how many crooks the TSA have caught? Not counting themselves of course.


enough to start a website about them.
www.tsacrimes.com
 
2012-06-16 11:07:36 AM
The TSA released a statement on Friday:

"oh crap, our sub-minimal intelligence employees got caught yet again. after 8 months it seems the fake "we're looking into it" didn't work so fire some folks. but not too many, we can barely find employees as it is."
 
2012-06-16 11:12:42 AM

Snarfangel: Great, now I have to subject myself to inexpert fondling.


Not necessarily. I charge reasonable rates
 
2012-06-16 11:13:31 AM
Slowly I turn, step by step;

TSA MUST DIE

It just frosts my cookies to watch this travesty of security theatre continue wasting money we do not have doing chit we certainly do not need to people who do not want it.

Just as pointless as that crappy war in Vietnam where I learned to be all I could be doing the unnecessary for the ungrateful with the unwilling.
 
2012-06-16 11:14:06 AM
I didn't read the article, because I never learned how to read. Anyway, I was having a conversation about this same thing with my girlfriend last week, I said something along the lines of "how stupid can they be?" and she said something that I couldn't understand because my dick was in her mouth and she couldn't speak clearly.
 
2012-06-16 11:15:51 AM
And in other news, only 7 TSA employees took an annual recertifican.
Per article, looks like only a dozen creeps kept at the job longer than 1 year.

Seems a bit high.
 
2012-06-16 11:23:01 AM
Glad they got fired. I work for the tsa now, and some of us do care about being nice to passengers and making sure you are safe.
 
2012-06-16 11:23:31 AM
The only difference between the TSA and the SS is that the SS said "please" when they asked you for your papers.
 
2012-06-16 11:24:09 AM
"Sir, I cheated on my test but I'm still gonna need to look into your asshole"
img.photobucket.com
 
2012-06-16 11:24:54 AM

Brick-House: Does anyone know how many crooks the TSA have caught? Not counting themselves of course.


Do you want to include the crooks identified by some other agency? If the 2010 Times Square car bombing attempt is any indication, the FBI specifically excluded the TSA from information about the suspect. He was cleared by the TSA to board his flight, at which time he was arrested on board the plane. Apparently the FBI doesn't trust the TSA to be an effective agency in cooperating to catch crooks. Wikipedia
 
2012-06-16 11:26:51 AM

Jaws_Victim: I work for the tsa now


DIAF

Willing collaborators of a police state are part of the problem, quisling.
 
2012-06-16 11:31:33 AM
Who would you prevent from boarding an airline?

a) Islamic extremists who have declared they they will hijack an airplane and fly it into a very large building.

b) An Islamic extremist who seems to have a lot of matches in his shoes and underwear.

c) yo baby daddy who didn't come by Friday with Pampers.

I know that I feel secure.
Actually, I cringe when I hear a plane. So that means I'm pretty much cringing all the time. You get used to it.
 
2012-06-16 11:32:20 AM
cdn.breitbart.com

I hesitate to ask, proficiency at what?


/thought bubble says "feels like chicken"
 
2012-06-16 11:39:24 AM

Jaws_Victim: Glad they got fired. I work for the tsa now, and some of us do care about being nice to passengers and making sure you are safe.


I mean, I feel bad crucifying organizations for things their own internal controls find. Doing so kind of encourages cover-ups. However.... yeah.... the whole TSA security model is geared around fighting the last (and now wrong) war.

The TSA should be sweeping for guns, explosives and large (and I mean 3+ inch) knives. Nothing else. If some asshole or group of assholes wants to take a plane with boxcutters again, they'll literally be ripped apart by the passengers. The cockpit doors have been reinforced, they can't gain control of the plane as a weapon (barring the introduction of guns or explosives) and the passenger paradigm has shifted from "if we cooperate we survive" to "we're going to die anyway, let's kill the bastards." In light of that, absent a weapon that can control a large number of people or menace the plane as a whole, law enforcement wouldn't need to worry about arresting them. They'd be torn apart.

So in short, I applaud your commitment to "keep us safe." But you're a soldier using obsolete ideas to fight the last threat and not the next one.
 
2012-06-16 11:47:38 AM

XveryYpettyZ: So in short, I applaud your commitment to "keep us safe." But you're a soldier using obsolete ideas to fight the last threat and not the next one.


You write that as though TSA agents can read.
 
2012-06-16 11:51:26 AM

clyph: Jaws_Victim: I work for the tsa now

DIAF

Willing collaborators of a police state are part of the problem, quisling.


Disagree. They are the problem.
Normal for a state to attempt stormtrooper control of the population. They all do it w/ variouis levels of success.
But the stooges!
They are the problem!
Whores that turn on their kind own are despicable.
 
2012-06-16 11:55:49 AM
images.sodahead.com
 
2012-06-16 12:02:53 PM
Can they count to potato?
 
2012-06-16 12:09:55 PM
So the people got caught, why is there not mandatory jail time associated with either bribing or accepting a bribe as a TSA employee? Call it "Zero Tolerance For Corruption" or something.

You know, National Security and all.
 
2012-06-16 12:10:12 PM

clyph: Jaws_Victim: I work for the tsa now

DIAF

Willing collaborators of a police state are part of the problem, quisling.


Interesting. Do you feel the same way about people who volunteer for the military?

I have proposed at times that anyone that volunteers to work for corrupt, criminal leaders is themselves part of the problem, and I've usually been wildly shouted down for it, violently so, like I questioned God and America.

So it'd be interesting if the same attitude held for people who volunteer for TSA. I'm guessing not, from your response at least.
 
2012-06-16 12:10:30 PM
13) A passenger sets off a metal detector, and a doctor's note and hand wand indicate the passenger has a metal plate in his head. What is your next step?

A. Run the hand wand over the passenger's body to make certain no other metal is detected.
B. Ask the passenger to step through the full-body scanner again.
C. Frisk the passenger, paying extra attention to the groin area.
D. Strip-search the passenger.
E. Frisk the passenger's groin again, because you can hide all sorts of things there.
F. All of the above.
G. C,D, and E only.

Answer: G. This is a trick question. A is incorrect -- If you have enough time to use the hand wand over a person's body, you have enough time to fondle their groin one more time. And B is incorrect, because you've already had sufficient time to remove the passenger's valuables from their carry-on luggage.
 
2012-06-16 12:12:17 PM

Jaws_Victim: Glad they got fired. I work for the tsa now, and some of us do care about being nice to passengers and making sure you are safe.


Your posts now show up in a bland, institutional grey with the sidebar "Part of the problem".

I hope the next time you are frisking some 80 year old dude you find a burst colostomy bag.
 
2012-06-16 12:12:25 PM

XveryYpettyZ: Jaws_Victim: Glad they got fired. I work for the tsa now, and some of us do care about being nice to passengers and making sure you are safe.

I mean, I feel bad crucifying organizations for things their own internal controls find. Doing so kind of encourages cover-ups. However.... yeah.... the whole TSA security model is geared around fighting the last (and now wrong) war.

The TSA should be sweeping for guns, explosives and large (and I mean 3+ inch) knives. Nothing else. If some asshole or group of assholes wants to take a plane with boxcutters again, they'll literally be ripped apart by the passengers. The cockpit doors have been reinforced, they can't gain control of the plane as a weapon (barring the introduction of guns or explosives) and the passenger paradigm has shifted from "if we cooperate we survive" to "we're going to die anyway, let's kill the bastards." In light of that, absent a weapon that can control a large number of people or menace the plane as a whole, law enforcement wouldn't need to worry about arresting them. They'd be torn apart.

So in short, I applaud your commitment to "keep us safe." But you're a soldier using obsolete ideas to fight the last threat and not the next one.


On the other hand, maybe the security model is keep people amped up and nervous by the demeaning experience of TSA, that way they're ready to assault a would-be terrorist. Before, when we could board normally, we all were just slacktards out for a good time, following the 1970s model of cooperating with the hijackers. Which by the way only worked if your plane wasn't packed full of Jews.
 
2012-06-16 12:14:46 PM

Skyd1v: Jaws_Victim: Glad they got fired. I work for the tsa now, and some of us do care about being nice to passengers and making sure you are safe.

Your posts now show up in a bland, institutional grey with the sidebar "Part of the problem".

I hope the next time you are frisking some 80 year old dude you find a burst colostomy bag.


Volunteering to kill people in a country we didn't get attacked by: Patriotic.

Volunteering to try to keep airports secure: Corrupt, criminal, incompetent.

Know where to volunteer, people.

Looks like TSA employee is the new "Vietnam Veteran."
 
2012-06-16 12:16:34 PM

snocone: clyph: Jaws_Victim: I work for the tsa now

DIAF

Willing collaborators of a police state are part of the problem, quisling.

Disagree. They are the problem.
Normal for a state to attempt stormtrooper control of the population. They all do it w/ variouis levels of success.
But the stooges!
They are the problem!
Whores that turn on their kind own are despicable.


So 15,000 marginally employable people are just supposed to up and quit, go back to mall cop and 7-11 counter and community college drop out. TSA's the best thing thats ever happened to some people.
 
2012-06-16 12:18:06 PM

Salt Lick Steady: 4.) What does chicken taste like?

a.) fish
b.) catnip
c.) chicken
d.) your mom



fark.roscada.com
 
2012-06-16 12:25:52 PM

Generation_D: Skyd1v:
I hope the next time you are frisking some 80 year old dude you find a burst colostomy bag.

Volunteering to kill people in a country we didn't get attacked by: Patriotic.

Volunteering to try to keep airports secure: Corrupt, criminal, incompetent.

Looks like TSA employee is the new "Vietnam Veteran."


Never said I was supportive of the quagmire that our military is involved in right now, either. But as this is a TSA thread, I was trying to stay on topic.

Many of my step-sons friends, kids I have known since they were 14 years old, have been caught up in that mess. One (so far) came back in a C-130 draped in the flag. So please don't insinuate that just because I feel domestic security theatre is worthless and counter productive that I must support the other.
 
2012-06-16 12:34:34 PM

Jaws_Victim: Glad they got fired. I work for the tsa now,


Ignored.

j/k

I flew from Washington National a few weeks ago and was surprised at how fast the security process went. We had about 20 different types of prescription pills and liquids, as well as glass bottles full of water for baby formula and we weren't even asked to open our carry-ons. The return trip was from Billings, MT where they insisted on removing and checking all of our stuff including my daughters Leap Pad. Must be a lot of dangerous travelers going through that little airport.

After that we had breakfast at the little airport cafe overlooking the checkpoint. I picked the spot and told my wife (a little too loudly) that from here we could see the security theater in action. Gained a couple dirty looks from that.
 
2012-06-16 12:37:35 PM
Snark aside, I see this as a good thing. Maybe the people at the top of the TSA are starting to actually get rid of their shiatty employees.

/Not holding out much hope
 
2012-06-16 12:38:28 PM

Arctic Phoenix: Snark aside, I see this as a good thing. Maybe the people at the top of the TSA are starting to actually get rid of their shiatty employees.

/Not holding out much hope


So they're closing the agency?
 
2012-06-16 12:50:57 PM

Generation_D: Skyd1v: Jaws_Victim: Glad they got fired. I work for the tsa now, and some of us do care about being nice to passengers and making sure you are safe.

Your posts now show up in a bland, institutional grey with the sidebar "Part of the problem".

I hope the next time you are frisking some 80 year old dude you find a burst colostomy bag.

Volunteering to kill people in a country we didn't get attacked by: Patriotic.

Volunteering to try to keep airports secure: Corrupt, criminal, incompetent.

Know where to volunteer, people.

Looks like TSA employee is the new "Vietnam Veteran."


So we're drafting people into service with the TSA now? Did I miss something?

No?

Then keep your false equivalencies to yourself.
 
2012-06-16 12:51:58 PM

Skyd1v: Generation_D: Skyd1v:
I hope the next time you are frisking some 80 year old dude you find a burst colostomy bag.

Volunteering to kill people in a country we didn't get attacked by: Patriotic.

Volunteering to try to keep airports secure: Corrupt, criminal, incompetent.

Looks like TSA employee is the new "Vietnam Veteran."

Never said I was supportive of the quagmire that our military is involved in right now, either. But as this is a TSA thread, I was trying to stay on topic.

Many of my step-sons friends, kids I have known since they were 14 years old, have been caught up in that mess. One (so far) came back in a C-130 draped in the flag. So please don't insinuate that just because I feel domestic security theatre is worthless and counter productive that I must support the other.


That would require critical thinking, and s/he doesn't seem to have that skill in abundance.
 
2012-06-16 12:53:18 PM

snocone: Slowly I turn, step by step;

TSA MUST DIE

It just frosts my cookies to watch this travesty of security theatre continue wasting money we do not have doing chit we certainly do not need to people who do not want it.

Just as pointless as that crappy war in Vietnam where I learned to be all I could be doing the unnecessary for the ungrateful with the unwilling.


Isn't that the nature of government, though?
Protecting me from your nads, because your nads are dangerous.
 
2012-06-16 12:53:23 PM
Did the Obvious tag get stuck in some seven year olds UFIA?
 
2012-06-16 12:54:10 PM

Generation_D: snocone: clyph: Jaws_Victim: I work for the tsa now

DIAF

Willing collaborators of a police state are part of the problem, quisling.

Disagree. They are the problem.
Normal for a state to attempt stormtrooper control of the population. They all do it w/ variouis levels of success.
But the stooges!
They are the problem!
Whores that turn on their kind own are despicable.

So 15,000 marginally employable people are just supposed to up and quit, go back to mall cop and 7-11 counter and community college drop out. TSA's the best thing thats ever happened to some people.


Or we could just send them all home, salaries paid, sell the current (and proliferate warehoused) pornoscans and such and skill come out on top.

Yes, that's right. Give them their $9/hr. This is a job they can do at home. And, in exchange, we don't have to deal with their hostility and thievery,
 
2012-06-16 01:01:47 PM
15) Two plus two equals

a) four
b) six
c) five
d) twenty-two
e) None of the above, as you did not expected math to be on this test
 
2012-06-16 01:01:50 PM
You mean my airport assailant has to pass a test?

/How could I not have known this?
 
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