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(Huffington Post)   Remember: white wine with fowl, red wine with beef. And according to Maynard James Keenan, a pinot noir goes best when chewing off a face   (huffingtonpost.com) divider line 172
    More: Obvious, wine pairing, Jeffrey Dahmer, child sexual abuse, Chianti, Hannibal Lecter, zombie apocalypse, North Miami Beach, English Literature  
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10386 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Jun 2012 at 4:44 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-06-15 04:39:53 PM
Keenan, I like you. Both Tool and APC are great bands. But only a Philistine would try to pair face with a pinot noir. Pinot pairs best with ankle or foot. No, face is thinner and more delicate, and you need something more bold, like a Syrah.
 
2012-06-15 04:46:07 PM
Too soon?
 
2012-06-15 04:46:35 PM

SultanofSchwing: Too soon?


No.
 
2012-06-15 04:47:39 PM
TOOL THREAD!
 
2012-06-15 04:49:41 PM
jesus was a whistle
 
2012-06-15 04:50:27 PM
I prefer a nice chianti.
 
2012-06-15 04:50:44 PM

SmackLT: But only a Philistine would try to pair face with a pinot noir.


RACIST!

Drink whatever you like with whatever you are eating. Red wine with fish? Sure! White wine with beef wellington? Why the fark not?! All these silly rules are worthless and are little more then pompousness like a Pharisee bragging about how much he knows about praying.

/Babylonian wine is the best
 
2012-06-15 04:51:03 PM

Rembrant_Q_Einstein: TOOL THREAD!


this if fark, all threads are tool threads.

Tools.
 
2012-06-15 04:51:20 PM

seumasokelly: SultanofSchwing: Too soon?

No.


Carry on then!
 
2012-06-15 04:51:30 PM
Not a nice Chianti? Or is that only with brain? I mean you don't HAVE to drink with food...WHY CAN'T WE JUST BE SOBER
 
2012-06-15 04:51:46 PM
well, human is red meat...and pinot noir is a very excellent red...

I'm not much an expert though, because not only do I not eat human, I'm vegetarian. And I pair pinot noir with nearly anything, because it's my fav wine.
 
2012-06-15 04:52:32 PM

thecpt: Not a nice Chianti? Or is that only with brain? I mean you don't HAVE to drink with food...WHY CAN'T WE JUST BE SOBER


Chianti goes with LIVER, you cad!

//Such Bollocks in this thread
 
2012-06-15 04:53:41 PM
I gotta say, I'm not really a fan of this guy's music, but the documentary about his vineyard is really good, and he comes off as a really interesting, intelligent, funny guy. Subsequent interviews I've seen with him confirm this.
 
2012-06-15 04:54:10 PM
I wonder if he plays his music on load speakers to see how the grapes grow.
 
2012-06-15 04:54:58 PM
Human meat is more like chicken or pork than beef. Definitely go with a light red. Pinot Noir is spot on. I know of what i speak....
 
2012-06-15 04:55:53 PM
jlovettphotography.com

"The kind of wine to drink is the kind of wine you got."
 
2012-06-15 04:56:07 PM
It's popular to recite such drivel but you can drink red wine with whatever you want except white fish. Chicken, Salmon. Steak. Lamb kebobs. Cab Sav it. Done.

/white fish too if you don't mind it
/I mind it
 
2012-06-15 04:57:15 PM
You definitely want something with a good nose

/and cheeks
 
2012-06-15 04:57:21 PM
This may hurt a little, but it's something you'll get used to.

*CHOMP*
 
2012-06-15 05:00:10 PM
What a stupid article.
 
2012-06-15 05:02:27 PM
If you are going to be nicknamed the Cannibal Killer and become a social pariah any way, why not a nice sweet rosé or even a Mateus Rose?

Or you could drink Champagne. Champagne goes with anything, you know.

Save the Pinot Noir or Pinot gris for something you like. They are noble grapes that pleased the palate of the French monk, Rabelais, as well as some of my ancestors in the vicinity of Chartres Cathedral. Save them for something worthy of a good wine.

Yes, the more I think about it, the more I think eating face is an occasion that demands something in a silly-shaped bottle with a screw-cap or a cardboard box.

Don't make La dive bouteille have to kick your ass!
 
2012-06-15 05:03:36 PM
All I have to say is: Maynard, stop futzing around with Puscifer and get back with the other guys and make a god-damned motherfarking TOOL album, you procrastinating wine freak! God damn it!!!

/god damn it
//make a farking TOOL album already
///for fark's sake, it's been nearly 10,000 days since 10,000 Days!
////calms down and goes happily back to Rammstein
 
2012-06-15 05:03:57 PM
Maynard had a hard time fitting in and buying into almost ever aspect of society except the wine snob part?
 
2012-06-15 05:05:25 PM
Nothing says friendship like two buds munching on a well cooked face!

/ what's wrong with me? Well, I kill people and I eat hands; that's two things.

// can't be obscure
 
2012-06-15 05:05:27 PM
Like all of the people interviewed, Casten has never actually sampled human flesh and is not a zombie

Or so HE SAYS!

/I'm not drinking a farking merlot!
 
2012-06-15 05:05:39 PM

IamAwake: well, human is red meat...and pinot noir is a very excellent red...

I'm not much an expert though, because not only do I not eat human, I'm vegetarian. And I pair pinot noir with nearly anything, because it's my fav wine.


Monster!

Let the rabbits wear glasses.
 
2012-06-15 05:06:16 PM

silvervial: All I have to say is: Maynard, stop futzing around with Puscifer and get back with the other guys and make a god-damned motherfarking TOOL album, you procrastinating wine freak! God damn it!!!


According to their website, it's already in the works and has been for some time.

/love Tool
 
2012-06-15 05:07:45 PM
He should buy everyone who got suckered into buying 10,000 Days a bottle of whatever they want.
 
2012-06-15 05:08:04 PM

rudemix: Maynard had a hard time fitting in and buying into almost ever aspect of society except the wine snob part?


I recommend you watch this before casting aspersions and judgements.
It's a great movie about a man's personal journey. Kinda funny too.

Blood Into Wine
 
2012-06-15 05:10:02 PM

austin_millbarge: silvervial: All I have to say is: Maynard, stop futzing around with Puscifer and get back with the other guys and make a god-damned motherfarking TOOL album, you procrastinating wine freak! God damn it!!!

According to their website, it's already in the works and has been for some time.

/love Tool


I love the side projects but it is about time for a new Tool album
 
2012-06-15 05:10:13 PM
Why can't we not be sober, anyhow?
 
2012-06-15 05:10:37 PM

CJHardin: I prefer a nice chianti.


Don't forget the fava beans.
 
2012-06-15 05:11:09 PM
Well the guy does sound like a tool.

Slightly on topic, the CDC announced that the recent bouts of cannibalism were not related to any zombie apocalypse. The CDC. The Center for Disease Control if you're not into the whole brevity thing. They had to announce this. I enjoy jokes that treat the zombie thing straight, even if it's wearing thin but the CDC?

Anyway, everyone knows that the guy with his face eaten off would have become a zombie.
 
2012-06-15 05:11:35 PM

iheartscotch: Nothing says friendship like two buds munching on a well cooked face!

/ what's wrong with me? Well, I kill people and I eat hands; that's two things.

// can't be obscure



Caaaaaaaaaaaaaaarl!
 
2012-06-15 05:12:09 PM
Well, if you consider human to taste like pork (not the organs mind you), I think white is an okay pairing. I'd pick something dry. Why not?
 
2012-06-15 05:12:24 PM
This feels so two weeks ago.
 
2012-06-15 05:12:36 PM

phaseolus: [jlovettphotography.com image 482x327]

"The kind of wine to drink is the kind of wine you got."


Thank you.
 
2012-06-15 05:13:25 PM
Well since they were both broke wouldnt a nice Mad Dog purple flavor vinatage 2012 go good with it?
 
2012-06-15 05:13:54 PM

silvervial: ////calms down and goes happily back to Rammstein


Well, so long. We wish you well.
 
2012-06-15 05:13:56 PM
..And the Angel Of The Lord came unto me, snatching me up from my place of
slumber. And took me on high, and higher still, until we moved through the
spaces 'betwixt the air itself. And he brought me unto a vast farmland of our
own midwest. And as we decended, cries of impending doom rose from the soil.
One thousand, 'nay, a million voices, full of fear. And terror posessed me
then. And I begged, "Angel Of The Lord, what are these totured screams?" and
the Angel said unto me, "These are the Cries Of The Grapes. The Cries Of The
Grapes, Y'see Reverend Maynard, tomorrow is Harvest Day, and to them, it is
The Holocaust."

Why does Maynard hate grapes?
 
2012-06-15 05:14:51 PM

austin_millbarge: silvervial: All I have to say is: Maynard, stop futzing around with Puscifer and get back with the other guys and make a god-damned motherfarking TOOL album, you procrastinating wine freak! God damn it!!!

According to their website, it's already in the works and has been for some time.

/love Tool


Saw Tool in Tucson earlier this year; these guys mother farking OWN with their live show. Danny is my drumming idol.

YES. Make with the new album already.
 
2012-06-15 05:15:15 PM
Believe me when I say, my meat needs no marination.
 
2012-06-15 05:19:13 PM

austin_millbarge: silvervial: All I have to say is: Maynard, stop futzing around with Puscifer and get back with the other guys and make a god-damned motherfarking TOOL album, you procrastinating wine freak! God damn it!!!

According to their website, it's already in the works and has been for some time.

/love Tool


Yeah, I do, too, but they've pulled that shiat before. I've hung on and waited through the long long "it's in the works" time between every album after the second full LP. They DO NOT need five or six farking years to make an album. No way. It's because Maynard has so many side projects (APC and Puscifer) and the winery shiat that it takes so long.

/TOOL opened for Rammstein a year or so ago
//couple Rammys came out during their set and tried to set their stage on fire
///good times
 
2012-06-15 05:19:46 PM
Sorry Maynard, but a Bordeaux style blend from Washington would be much better.
 
2012-06-15 05:21:44 PM

rattchett: IamAwake: I'm not much an expert though, because not only do I not eat human, I'm vegetarian. And I pair pinot noir with nearly anything, because it's my fav wine.

Monster!

Let the rabbits wear glasses.


I snortled.
 
2012-06-15 05:23:32 PM

phaseolus: [jlovettphotography.com image 482x327]

"The kind of wine to drink is the kind of wine you got."


Hoooooooo-WEEEEEEEEEEE!
 
2012-06-15 05:24:05 PM

austin_millbarge: rudemix: Maynard had a hard time fitting in and buying into almost ever aspect of society except the wine snob part?

I recommend you watch this before casting aspersions and judgements.
It's a great movie about a man's personal journey. Kinda funny too.

Blood Into Wine


Really great documentary for Maynard fans, wine fans and/or Tim & Eric fans. As odd a venn diagram as that is...
 
2012-06-15 05:24:35 PM

StinkyFiddlewinks: He should buy everyone who got suckered into buying 10,000 Days a bottle of whatever they want.


Music is subjective, but "Rosetta Stoned" is a epic farking song, and so is "10,000 Days - Wings for Marie (Pt 1 and 2)" one of the most beautiful farewells to a parent I've ever heard.
 
2012-06-15 05:26:47 PM
i264.photobucket.com
 
2012-06-15 05:27:30 PM
Hush, Maynard.

I can drink what I want to
Even if it doesn't pair well
I can drink what I want to
Even if I'm just kidding

Who give's a sh*t?

People tell me what to drink...

that's enough.
 
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