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(   If you're going to use a samurai sword to fight off some intruders you'd better know how to use it. I'm just sayin'   ( divider line
    More: Fail, samurai sword, front garden, samurai  
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12184 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Jun 2012 at 3:00 AM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2012-06-15 12:27:59 AM  
5 votes:
Do like the bonobos do and greet them with a firm erection.
2012-06-15 04:23:19 AM  
3 votes:
The 65-year-old spotted three youths in his front garden in the early hours and shouted at them to get off his property

Way to reinforce the stereotype there.
2012-06-14 10:32:03 PM  
3 votes: Full Size
2012-06-14 09:54:09 PM  
3 votes:
The man with the sword who moved toward the bored hoard he abhorred was gored on his own accord?
2012-06-15 04:08:05 AM  
2 votes:
It's like a replay of Musashi and Sasaki! Except Mu used a wood sword carved from a boat oar. And he didn't lose. On a beach.

After further consideration, perhaps not quite the same.

Strike this testimony from the transcript!
2012-06-15 03:19:03 AM  
2 votes:
farm8.staticflickr.comView Full Size
2012-06-15 12:41:49 AM  
2 votes:

brap: Do like the bonobos do and greet them with a firm erection.

Is that a bonobo in your pants, or are you just glad to see me?
2012-06-14 09:52:37 PM  
2 votes:
At least it didn't break when he tried to use it.

dumbimages.netView Full Size
2012-06-15 05:14:01 PM  
1 vote:
cynicalbastard: Personally, indoors I'd go with a gladius. Or a kukhuri for the scary-looking-blade factor. The latter has a thick-as-hell back that you can use for non-lethal blows if you don't want body parts littering the floor.

If you just wanted to go long, a thrusting sword would be more manageable indoors than a slasher, so like a Rapier would work quite nice.

/especially if your opponent has 6 fingers on his right hand.
2012-06-15 04:28:04 PM  
1 vote:

JonnyBGoode: Fortunately I have been trained in swordplay.

Unfortunately, most of the blades I have at home are display quality. Saving up for some nice Cold Steel.

Try some Hanzo steel. I hear it's good for very big rats.
2012-06-15 11:47:35 AM  
1 vote:

gmoney101: If this home defense shiat is universal in the US then you make me double glad I live in a country without public gun ownership!

Yeah, we're happy you don't live here either. You'd be a liability.

In the game of life, you're an NPC.
2012-06-15 10:47:53 AM  
1 vote:

Orgasmatron138: Using a sword correctly is pretty difficult. It's not really effective to swing it like an axe or a baseball bat.

Then use and axe or a baseball bat instead.

I keep an axe handle by my bed.
2012-06-15 09:15:24 AM  
1 vote:
She appears to know what the fark she's doing...

wac.450f.edgecastcdn.netView Full Size
2012-06-15 09:12:21 AM  
1 vote:

He_Hate_Me: Seems fairly self-explanatory: Full Size

This was pretty much my thinking the first time I had sex.
2012-06-15 08:36:39 AM  
1 vote:
Good against remotes is one thing; good against the living, that's something else.
2012-06-15 08:36:39 AM  
1 vote:

Tat'dGreaser: I still don't understand how some people think it's easier to stab someone than it is to shoot them. I have a feeling it's not like the movies when you stab someone.

According to movies, all you need to do is skin contact with a blade to make them drop to the floor.

I have this for decoration purposes.
i478.photobucket.comView Full Size

It's a lovely piece.
2012-06-15 07:59:29 AM  
1 vote:
Seems fairly self-explanatory: Full Size
2012-06-15 07:15:31 AM  
1 vote:
I should save this story for when Farkers go into threads proclaiming how they have knives and swords for self defense.
2012-06-15 04:25:53 AM  
1 vote:
ALWAYS remember the 3 Ds- Dead, Dying, DON'T FARK WITH SWORDS.
2012-06-15 04:22:51 AM  
1 vote:

CliChe Guevara: some_beer_drinker: a samurai sword is my weapon of choice for home defense.

I might rethink that if I were you.
For reference, I am iaidoku, and train daily in Eishin-ryū - and with shinken, not bokken. There is most often at least one actual Nihonto shinken, not some show sword, within my reach at any given time in my house and often in my vehicles in my dojo bag.

Given that, my chosen home defense weapon is a 12 ga. shotgun. My choice for pdw is a compact .40

Just sayin'

ya, well, i am Canadian. we don't need guns. tough enough without them.
2012-06-15 04:11:52 AM  
1 vote:
I keep a nice Zulu short spear (Cold Steel) that is about 3 ft. long, 13 in. of which is blade.
It is very sharp, and intimidating.
Just the sight of it alone has ended two burglary attempts.

Anyone with a bit of military training should be able to use it much as one would use a rifle and bayonet for close quarter combat.

Both I and my brother are big fans of edged weapons and have a nice collection of swords, knives, and other sharp, pointy, sticking/stabbing type things.

/ probably some phallic symbolism in there
// can't imagine what it would be though
/// will ask Dr. Freud.
2012-06-15 03:28:35 AM  
1 vote:
a samurai sword is my weapon of choice for home defense. also have a few knives, but if someone bad comes in here, they get the sword. hope i don't end on fark...
2012-06-15 03:25:22 AM  
1 vote:
You are 43 times more likely to be injured by your own samurai sword than use it in self-defense.
2012-06-15 03:15:04 AM  
1 vote:
static2.dmcdn.netView Full Size
2012-06-15 03:14:52 AM  
1 vote:
As someone who grabbed a wakizashi (the closest thing on hand) to kill a rather large palmetto this evening, I'm getting a kick out of these replies.

Yeah, it was kinda fun, actually. I should stop drinking now.
2012-06-15 02:18:36 AM  
1 vote:
The old great-sword-in-the-house use-toothpaste-to-fill-in-the-ceiling-gouges trick, eh?
2012-06-15 12:17:16 AM  
1 vote:

doglover: A katana isn't for scaring people away by waving. It's for killing them ten seconds before the know they're dead with lightning fast draw/cut attacks. Iiado. Lookitup!

If you wanna scare kids away, get a shotgun with a nice pump action.

Claymore, man.
2012-06-14 11:31:26 PM  
1 vote:
A katana isn't for scaring people away by waving. It's for killing them ten seconds before the know they're dead with lightning fast draw/cut attacks. Iiado. Lookitup!

If you wanna scare kids away, get a shotgun with a nice pump action.
2012-06-14 11:17:20 PM  
1 vote:
Bit of a shiat sword for anything in close quarters. Still, points for Seppuku, bet they didn't expect that.
2012-06-14 09:55:15 PM  
1 vote:
I've seen every episode of Rurouni Kenshin! I know what I'm doing.
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