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(Fox News)   Apparently, jumping from an airplane just before it crashes does NOT work   (foxnews.com) divider line 113
    More: Obvious, airplanes, Florida's Polk County  
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16807 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Jun 2012 at 5:02 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-06-14 03:11:32 PM  
So everything I learned from "Die Hard with a Vengeance" is wrong??
 
2012-06-14 03:14:38 PM  
"He was not in the plane when the plane hit the ground, he was thrown from the aircraft while it was coming to the ground. We've had several different witnesses tell us it was flat and it was rotating."

His body was flat and rotating?
 
2012-06-14 03:38:16 PM  

Walker: "He was not in the plane when the plane hit the ground, he was thrown from the aircraft while it was coming to the ground. We've had several different witnesses tell us it was flat and it was rotating."

His body was flat and rotating?


The ground, dumbass.
 
2012-06-14 03:38:50 PM  

Walker: "He was not in the plane when the plane hit the ground, he was thrown from the aircraft while it was coming to the ground. We've had several different witnesses tell us it was flat and it was rotating."

His body was flat and rotating?


No, the ground.
 
2012-06-14 03:39:47 PM  
 
2012-06-14 03:52:44 PM  

FloydA: unyon:

[i105.photobucket.com image 300x400]


Don't sweat it. I'm from the future, so you didn't have a chance. Of course, being able to peer a mere 34 seconds into the future is of limited value as a superpower.
 
2012-06-14 03:59:20 PM  

FloydA: Walker: "He was not in the plane when the plane hit the ground, he was thrown from the aircraft while it was coming to the ground. We've had several different witnesses tell us it was flat and it was rotating."

His body was flat and rotating?

No, the ground.


No, the airplane.
 
2012-06-14 04:19:16 PM  
But, jumping right before impact in a free-falling elevator still works, right?
 
2012-06-14 05:04:01 PM  

Charlie Freak


FloydA: Walker: "He was not in the plane when the plane hit the ground, he was thrown from the aircraft while it was coming to the ground. We've had several different witnesses tell us it was flat and it was rotating."

His body was flat and rotating?

No, the ground.

No, the airplane.


No, the witness.
 
2012-06-14 05:04:53 PM  

eraser8: But, jumping right before impact in a free-falling elevator still works, right?


Awww, I wanted to say that. Bully.
 
2012-06-14 05:05:11 PM  

Charlie Freak: FloydA: Walker: "He was not in the plane when the plane hit the ground, he was thrown from the aircraft while it was coming to the ground. We've had several different witnesses tell us it was flat and it was rotating."

His body was flat and rotating?

No, the ground.

No, the airplane.


No, your mom on my penis.
 
2012-06-14 05:06:38 PM  

eraser8: But, jumping right before impact in a free-falling elevator still works, right?


Sorry, kiddo. The only thing you can do if you get stuck in a falling elevator is tuck your head between your knees and kiss your arse good-bye. It's a simple matter of physics. Let's say, for purposes of illustration, that your falling elevator reaches a terminal velocity of 100 feet per second. Even if you manage a leap of Nureyevian proportions, you'll only reach a speed of maybe 5-10 feet per second. (For purposes of comparison, a sprinter doing 40 yards in five seconds is moving at 24 feet per second--horizontally, of course, and with room to work up a little velocity.) That leaves you with a net downward velocity of 90-95 feet per second. In short, Pancake City.

/totes wrote that all by myself....
 
2012-06-14 05:06:38 PM  
Probably hit his head on the canopy when he ejected.
 
2012-06-14 05:07:16 PM  
More than a hundred men and women searched as if it had been their own child, according to Judd.

That's a nice gesture, Judd, but I doubt it was actually like that.
 
2012-06-14 05:07:18 PM  
4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-06-14 05:07:27 PM  
Boston Bramlage, like the fruit preserves.
 
2012-06-14 05:07:39 PM  

styckx


Probably hit his head on the canopy when he ejected.


"Talk to me, Goose!"

"..."
 
2012-06-14 05:08:06 PM  

Corvus: Charlie Freak: FloydA: Walker: "He was not in the plane when the plane hit the ground, he was thrown from the aircraft while it was coming to the ground. We've had several different witnesses tell us it was flat and it was rotating."

His body was flat and rotating?

No, the ground.

No, the airplane.

No, your mom on my penis.



This thread is now officially done.
 
2012-06-14 05:08:48 PM  

Charlie Freak: FloydA: Walker: "He was not in the plane when the plane hit the ground, he was thrown from the aircraft while it was coming to the ground. We've had several different witnesses tell us it was flat and it was rotating."

His body was flat and rotating?

No, the ground.

No, the airplane.


No, the beer-nado.
 
2012-06-14 05:08:49 PM  
Note:
Most plane crashes are usually private planes.

In commercial flights, you are far, far more safer.
 
2012-06-14 05:09:16 PM  
As a father, I can't read stories like these because I mentally picture what that poor kid must have gone through on his solo descent. Tumbling through the sky, alone, possibly wet and very very cold. He's even at the age where he can understand and comprehend the fate that is about to become reality for him as the earth gets closer and closer. At 25,000 feet, it's not like that was a quick fall. I only hope he blacked out from the shock, lack of oxygen, and altitude before it happened. For a little kid, that's gotta be one of the scariest ways to die.

/and now you have that mental image
//you're welcome.
///stay away from sharp objects for a little while
 
2012-06-14 05:09:42 PM  
But I thought life was just like the movies.
 
2012-06-14 05:09:51 PM  
So, being thrown from a plane at 20K feet = jumping- from it just before it crashes?
 
2012-06-14 05:11:40 PM  
Everyone knows this only works with Hot Air Balloons
 
2012-06-14 05:13:04 PM  

Corvus: Charlie Freak: FloydA: Walker: "He was not in the plane when the plane hit the ground, he was thrown from the aircraft while it was coming to the ground. We've had several different witnesses tell us it was flat and it was rotating."

His body was flat and rotating?

No, the ground.

No, the airplane.

No, your mom on my penis.


I knew this Joke would be in here somehwere.
 
2012-06-14 05:13:10 PM  
neither does jumping off a swing set with an umbrella. Although, when the five year old version of me tried this after an episode of the Pink Panther he dove off of the swing set and landed on his chest, maybe going feet first would have worked. Be right back, headed to sixth floor window...
 
2012-06-14 05:13:14 PM  

RoosterCogburn: As a father, I can't read stories like these because I mentally picture what that poor kid must have gone through on his solo descent. Tumbling through the sky, alone, possibly wet and very very cold. He's even at the age where he can understand and comprehend the fate that is about to become reality for him as the earth gets closer and closer. At 25,000 feet, it's not like that was a quick fall. I only hope he blacked out from the shock, lack of oxygen, and altitude before it happened. For a little kid, that's gotta be one of the scariest ways to die.

/and now you have that mental image
//you're welcome.
///stay away from sharp objects for a little while


Not likely at all.
 
2012-06-14 05:13:27 PM  

unyon: FloydA: unyon:

[i105.photobucket.com image 300x400]

Don't sweat it. I'm from the future, so you didn't have a chance. Of course, being able to peer a mere 34 seconds into the future is of limited value as a superpower.


You think that's bad? I can only see forty four seconds into the past. The worst part is when you stub your toe, you know you'll have to go through it all again in under a minute.
 
2012-06-14 05:14:37 PM  

halfof33: eraser8: But, jumping right before impact in a free-falling elevator still works, right?

Sorry, kiddo. The only thing you can do if you get stuck in a falling elevator is tuck your head between your knees and kiss your arse good-bye. It's a simple matter of physics. Let's say, for purposes of illustration, that your falling elevator reaches a terminal velocity of 100 feet per second. Even if you manage a leap of Nureyevian proportions, you'll only reach a speed of maybe 5-10 feet per second. (For purposes of comparison, a sprinter doing 40 yards in five seconds is moving at 24 feet per second--horizontally, of course, and with room to work up a little velocity.) That leaves you with a net downward velocity of 90-95 feet per second.


Exact scenario covered on MythBusters (annoying ad first): Link
 
2012-06-14 05:15:02 PM  
Relative velocity is a biatch!
 
2012-06-14 05:15:20 PM  
Duh! He should have inflated a big, yellow raft and fell in that.
 
2012-06-14 05:15:55 PM  

toraque: unyon: FloydA: unyon:

[i105.photobucket.com image 300x400]

Don't sweat it. I'm from the future, so you didn't have a chance. Of course, being able to peer a mere 34 seconds into the future is of limited value as a superpower.

You think that's bad? I can only see forty four seconds into the past. The worst part is when you stub your toe, you know you'll have to go through it all again in under a minute.


If you can only see forty seconds into the past you may want to see a neurologist.
 
2012-06-14 05:16:13 PM  

TrainingWheelsNeeded: neither does jumping off a swing set with an umbrella. Although, when the five year old version of me tried this after an episode of the Pink Panther he dove off of the swing set and landed on his chest, maybe going feet first would have worked. Be right back, headed to sixth floor window...


mydisguises.com
 
2012-06-14 05:22:54 PM  

halfof33: eraser8: But, jumping right before impact in a free-falling elevator still works, right?

Sorry, kiddo. The only thing you can do if you get stuck in a falling elevator is tuck your head between your knees and kiss your arse good-bye. It's a simple matter of physics. Let's say, for purposes of illustration, that your falling elevator reaches a terminal velocity of 100 feet per second. Even if you manage a leap of Nureyevian proportions, you'll only reach a speed of maybe 5-10 feet per second. (For purposes of comparison, a sprinter doing 40 yards in five seconds is moving at 24 feet per second--horizontally, of course, and with room to work up a little velocity.) That leaves you with a net downward velocity of 90-95 feet per second. In short, Pancake City.

/totes wrote that all by myself....


I understand the physics of this, but I figure I would try it anyway.
 
2012-06-14 05:25:47 PM  

corneliusfiddlebone: Boston Bramlage, like the fruit preserves.


I wish I had his pencil-thin mustache.

/actually, ALL of him is pencil-thin now
 
2012-06-14 05:25:50 PM  
Guy did it wrong. You have to shout "noooooooooooooooo!" while you're jumping.

/works best in slo-mo
 
2012-06-14 05:28:23 PM  

Bill_Wick's_Friend: Guy did it wrong. You have to shout "noooooooooooooooo!" while you're jumping.

/works best in slo-mo


Been working on a machine for that for years. Making progress every day, but so far it only goes at 1x.
 
2012-06-14 05:28:31 PM  
FTA-Investigators say it appears the right wing of the plane somehow separated when the plane was at about 25,000 feet.


But the politics tab had me believing everything was the left wing's fault.

Rapmaster2000: More than a hundred men and women searched as if it had been their own child, according to Judd.

That's a nice gesture, Judd, but I doubt it was actually like that.


I had a vision of a hundred people running around screaming hysterically and getting in the cops' way. I laughed.
 
2012-06-14 05:29:34 PM  
So Obvious tag trumps Florida tag in this case?
 
2012-06-14 05:31:27 PM  

MBooda: corneliusfiddlebone: Boston Bramlage, like the fruit preserves.

I wish I had his pencil-thin mustache.

/actually, ALL of him is pencil-thin now


I have it. I'll trade you for an autographed picture of Andy Devine.
 
2012-06-14 05:33:12 PM  
 
2012-06-14 05:33:18 PM  
That only works for rabbits and road runners.
 
2012-06-14 05:33:45 PM  

redsquid:

Rapmaster2000: More than a hundred men and women searched as if it had been their own child, according to Judd.

That's a nice gesture, Judd, but I doubt it was actually like that.

I had a vision of a hundred people running around screaming hysterically and getting in the cops' way. I laughed.


That was my thought. I don't think I would be of much help if I was searching for my just deceased son's body.
 
2012-06-14 05:34:59 PM  

halfof33: eraser8: But, jumping right before impact in a free-falling elevator still works, right?

Sorry, kiddo. The only thing you can do if you get stuck in a falling elevator is tuck your head between your knees and kiss your arse good-bye. It's a simple matter of physics. Let's say, for purposes of illustration, that your falling elevator reaches a terminal velocity of 100 feet per second. Even if you manage a leap of Nureyevian proportions, you'll only reach a speed of maybe 5-10 feet per second. (For purposes of comparison, a sprinter doing 40 yards in five seconds is moving at 24 feet per second--horizontally, of course, and with room to work up a little velocity.) That leaves you with a net downward velocity of 90-95 feet per second. In short, Pancake City.

/totes wrote that all by myself....


Er, how about no.

People have survived elevator falls. They did so because they were flat ie, body weight distribution (kinda similar to those high divers and paddling pool sort of thing). Not 100% of course, but that's how some have survived. Also, killing your fellow passengers and then using them as a cushion also helps. Crunching yourself into a foetal position would be nice to see if only to watch back on the CCTV and see how many times you bounce around the walls before splatting.

Splat!
 
2012-06-14 05:44:35 PM  
Being a cautious chap, I was wondering if you skydivers/ Fark Experts On Everything would know if the people inside the plane would have stood a chance if they had those wing suits?

Would 25,000 feet be sufficient height to jump out, float a wee bit and then use the suit to glide and then release the parachute? Or just use a parachute if it's high enough? And if so, why aren't these private planes fitted out with them? Planes might be safer than cars and all that stuff but if anything goes wrong on a plane, it seems final. I wouldn't mind having another shot at giving the Grim Reaper the finger.
 
2012-06-14 05:48:23 PM  
It will work if you can jump hard enough. Like 200 mph up hard.
 
2012-06-14 05:49:15 PM  
i.imgur.com
 
2012-06-14 05:50:27 PM  
If only he had an inflatable raft:
i492.photobucket.com
 
2012-06-14 05:50:40 PM  

GungFu: halfof33: eraser8: But, jumping right before impact in a free-falling elevator still works, right?

Sorry, kiddo. The only thing you can do if you get stuck in a falling elevator is tuck your head between your knees and kiss your arse good-bye. It's a simple matter of physics. Let's say, for purposes of illustration, that your falling elevator reaches a terminal velocity of 100 feet per second. Even if you manage a leap of Nureyevian proportions, you'll only reach a speed of maybe 5-10 feet per second. (For purposes of comparison, a sprinter doing 40 yards in five seconds is moving at 24 feet per second--horizontally, of course, and with room to work up a little velocity.) That leaves you with a net downward velocity of 90-95 feet per second. In short, Pancake City.

/totes wrote that all by myself....

Er, how about no.

People have survived elevator falls. They did so because they were flat ie, body weight distribution (kinda similar to those high divers and paddling pool sort of thing). Not 100% of course, but that's how some have survived. Also, killing your fellow passengers and then using them as a cushion also helps. Crunching yourself into a foetal position would be nice to see if only to watch back on the CCTV and see how many times you bounce around the walls before splatting.

Splat!


That seems like good advice... but once the elevator starts dropping, how are you going to get to the floor?
 
2012-06-14 05:52:44 PM  

MyNameIsMofuga: If only he had an inflatable raft:
[i492.photobucket.com image 600x257]


B-b-b-but they weren't sinking,.....they were craaaaasshing!

/whiny nasal shrill shrieky kate capshaw voice
 
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