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(Cracked)   "I come in peace. I didn't bring artillery. But I'm pleading with you, with tears in my eyes: If you Fark with me, I'll kill you all." Just one of the six most bad-ass things said by a soldier just before killing people   (cracked.com) divider line 25
    More: Cool, Fark, solder, Tony Montana, peace, pleading, Japanese, USS Enterprise  
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33198 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Jun 2012 at 4:31 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2012-06-14 05:06:30 PM
4 votes:

Fish in a Barrel: "Hard pressed on my right; center is yielding; impossible to maneuver. Situation excellent, I shall attack!"


www.maximumpc.com
2012-06-14 10:33:53 PM
2 votes:
"What the fark was that?!?" ~ The Mayor of Hiroshima, 6 August 1945.
2012-06-14 08:00:39 PM
2 votes:

LaughingRadish: I'm positive that at least five people have run into battle screaming "Leroy Jenkins!!!!!" and "SPOON!!!!". No, I won't tell you how I know.


Don't forget "NOT IN THE FACE"
2012-06-14 07:56:40 PM
2 votes:
I'm positive that at least five people have run into battle screaming "Leroy Jenkins!!!!!" and "SPOON!!!!". No, I won't tell you how I know.
2012-06-14 05:49:06 PM
2 votes:
"You're all clear, kid! Now let's blow this thing and go home!"
2012-06-14 05:25:28 PM
2 votes:
I have come here to chew bubble gum and kick ass.

And I'm all out of bubble gum.
2012-06-14 04:54:15 PM
2 votes:
Jerry "Mad Dog" Shriver.

Radio message while encircled by a numerically superior force and in serious danger of being overrun: "I've got 'em right where I want 'em -- surrounded from the inside."

Link
2012-06-14 11:22:23 PM
1 votes:
I was looking for a different quote but i saw this one and it made me laugh...

"When you men get home and face an anti-war protester, look him in the eyes and shake his hand. Then, wink at his girlfriend, because she knows she's dating a pussy."
- Attributed to General Tommy Franks
- Also attributed to Leutenant General James Mattis, USMC
2012-06-14 10:54:39 PM
1 votes:
German solder "I came for your terms of surrender".
British solder "I'm sorry we can't take you all prisoner".
2012-06-14 10:34:20 PM
1 votes:

chunk75: This text is now purple: Delay: Bull Halsey had a clear idea to win a US victory over Imperial Japan. Then he made his men move according to his plan. Perhaps, Fark posters may want to comment on his remarkable success. Here's mine. If it were not for Admiral Bull Halsey, I would never have been born and you would not speak English.

Japan was never a threat to invade the United States.

Aleutians much?


Yes, because the Japanese landing on the part of America the Americans don't even know about,much less give a flying toss about is a serious invasion of the US. They captured 90 whole people. Americans killed more than 90 Americans during WWII in whiffle-bat-related activities. If Japan had said they wanted the US to bluntly give them the Aleutian Islands to end the Pacific War, we would have probably done it for the lulz - after some American went and looked up what the fark the Aleutians were, where the fark they were, and if we farking claimed possession of them. More armed Canadians have probably crossed over the border into the US than Japanese did in WWII - hardly think that counts as an "invasion" by Canada.

Let's be honest: When the US finally went up to push the Japanese out of the Aleutians, at least one officer had to have asked if we couldn't just leave them their and just call it a day - and it probably took the better part of a year to come up with some reason not to take him up on it.
2012-06-14 10:04:21 PM
1 votes:
"Your mother is an hamster and your father smells of elderberries!"
2012-06-14 09:37:42 PM
1 votes:

Delay: relcec: I wonder if delay was trolling about halsey.

Not trolling, in my opinion and in the opinion of the Japanese admirals who were engaged therein, Halsey won this battle, and subsequently the rest of the war at sea. From then on the Japanese ships made no difference at all from this battle to the rest of the war. Why? The Japanese navy returned to port and were effectively destroyed. Maybe Halsey picked the admirals at the Battle of Samar by luck, maybe on skill, but on record, objectively, Halsey won the war in the Pacific.


mindreels.files.wordpress.com

Your conclusions are all wrong Delay, Halsey acted stupidly.
2012-06-14 07:45:18 PM
1 votes:

dfwaviator: Japan was never a threat to invade the United States.


You sure?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aleutian_Islands_Campaign


they could have cut off our strategic supply of moss covered rocks and glaciers.

we were reading their mail, and gave not one shiat about those islands.
2012-06-14 06:40:53 PM
1 votes:

tlchwi02: that's the quote he said to the recently defeated iraqi military leaders.... who promptly took to the hills and became the insurgency that is still killing people to this day. so um, yeah i guess it sounds cool, but is it bad-ass if the enemy subsequently guerilla warfared you to the point you had to give up and start paying them tribute to get them to stop attacking?


Given the situation of most of these, I'm not a huge fan of military and/or war...but I do love history, and a few of these I found very cool to read.

You on the other hand, seem like you'd be a blast at parties. No skin in the game I'm sure, and yet you still feel high and mighty enough over your latte to biatch and moan. Utterly farking pathetic.
2012-06-14 06:16:30 PM
1 votes:
i.ytimg.com

I fart in your general direction!
2012-06-14 06:11:48 PM
1 votes:

varmitydog: Cathars


what a jerk. he should have been able to pick the cat people from KOTOR out just by their ears and fur.
2012-06-14 06:09:51 PM
1 votes:
Dec. 23, 1944 - "Battle of the Bulge" - An entire U.S. armored division was retreating from the Germans in the Ardennes forest when a sergeant in a tank destroyer spotted an American digging a foxhole. The GI, PFC Martin, 325th Glider Infantry Regiment, looked up and asked, "Are you looking for a safe place?" "Yeah" answered the tanker. "Well, buddy," he drawled, "just pull your vehicle behind me...I'm the 82nd Airborne, and this is as far as the bastards are going."
2012-06-14 06:06:35 PM
1 votes:
"Drop 50 and fire for effect."
"That's your own position."
"I don't give a damn."

Audie Murphy.
2012-06-14 06:01:07 PM
1 votes:
"Hans...are we the baddies?"
2012-06-14 05:54:18 PM
1 votes:
"Which side are we on? We're on the side of the demons, chief. We're evil men in the gardens of paradise, sent by the forces of death to spread devestation and destruction wherever we go. I thought you knew that.
...
I've sent men on suicide missions in two wars now, and let me tell you something - it don't make a godsdamn bit of difference whether they're riding in a Viper or walking out onto a parade ground. In the end, they're just as dead.
...
So take your piety and your moralizing and your high-minded principles, and stick 'em some place safe until you're off this rock and you're sitting in your nice cushy chair on Colonial One again. I've got a war to fight."
2012-06-14 05:33:52 PM
1 votes:
Git some! Git some! Git some, yeah, yeah, yeah! Anyone who runs, is a VC. Anyone who stands still, is a well-disciplined VC!
2012-06-14 05:14:26 PM
1 votes:
2012-06-14 05:11:42 PM
1 votes:
I am a beautiful animal.
I am a destroyer of worlds.
I am Harry farking Potter!
2012-06-14 04:48:37 PM
1 votes:
that's the quote he said to the recently defeated iraqi military leaders.... who promptly took to the hills and became the insurgency that is still killing people to this day. so um, yeah i guess it sounds cool, but is it bad-ass if the enemy subsequently guerilla warfared you to the point you had to give up and start paying them tribute to get them to stop attacking?
2012-06-14 04:48:32 PM
1 votes:
My favorite: "Nuts"
 
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