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(Cracked)   "I come in peace. I didn't bring artillery. But I'm pleading with you, with tears in my eyes: If you Fark with me, I'll kill you all." Just one of the six most bad-ass things said by a soldier just before killing people   (cracked.com) divider line 184
    More: Cool, Fark, solder, Tony Montana, peace, pleading, Japanese, USS Enterprise  
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33203 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Jun 2012 at 4:31 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-06-14 06:33:25 PM  

tlchwi02: Delay: Too bad American high school students ignore Admiral Halsey. Why is that?

they barely touch on WW2 at all... or any wars, really. when i was in highschool the emphasis was on what causes a war and how the aftermath is dealt with. with the limited time highschool has to deliver american history (7th and 11th grades when i was there) they don't delve into the battles. The one guy who gets mentioned, if anyone does, is MacArthur and thats only because his showdown with Truman can be used as an example to discuss the president's role as commander in chief and one of the more famed times a military leader has directly challenged it


It's sad really. Ask the combatants. They tell us that Roosevelt, Eisenhower and Halsey determined the outcome of the Second World War.
 
2012-06-14 06:34:26 PM  
"They've got us surrounded again, the poor bastards."

-- reputed to have been said by General Creighton Abrams at the Battle of the Bulge.
 
2012-06-14 06:34:30 PM  

rudemix: Vae victis?

Oh wait, that was that most bad-assed thing said after the killing.


i116.photobucket.com

Vae Victus - suffering to the conquered. Ironic now I was the one suffering. Not anything as pedestrian as physical pain, rather the cruel jab of impotent anger - the hunger for revenge. I didn't care if I was in Heaven or Hell. All I wanted was to kill my assassins...
 
2012-06-14 06:37:14 PM  

rockforever: Because he doesn't matter in terms of history.


Frankly, I have no idea what you mean. Do you mean that the facts are something that need not be memorized for a test?
 
2012-06-14 06:37:41 PM  

Suede head: gunther_bumpass: Suede head: steamingpile: tlchwi02: that's the quote he said to the recently defeated iraqi military leaders.... who promptly took to the hills and became the insurgency that is still killing people to this day. so um, yeah i guess it sounds cool, but is it bad-ass if the enemy subsequently guerilla warfared you to the point you had to give up and start paying them tribute to get them to stop attacking?

Yeah that's not true.

Uh, yes it is. We paid the insurgents to stop killing us.

Yeah, well I paid your MOM.

She obviously doesn't like you, she usually gives it away.


I paid her to put some clothes on.

:D

:|
 
2012-06-14 06:40:53 PM  

tlchwi02: that's the quote he said to the recently defeated iraqi military leaders.... who promptly took to the hills and became the insurgency that is still killing people to this day. so um, yeah i guess it sounds cool, but is it bad-ass if the enemy subsequently guerilla warfared you to the point you had to give up and start paying them tribute to get them to stop attacking?


Given the situation of most of these, I'm not a huge fan of military and/or war...but I do love history, and a few of these I found very cool to read.

You on the other hand, seem like you'd be a blast at parties. No skin in the game I'm sure, and yet you still feel high and mighty enough over your latte to biatch and moan. Utterly farking pathetic.
 
2012-06-14 06:45:12 PM  

Delay: It's sad really. Ask the combatants. They tell us that Roosevelt, Eisenhower and Halsey determined the outcome of the Second World War.


yeah, but to understand history he individually doesn't matter much. its a lot more important to understand what and how a war starts, and what and how a war ends and what is done after than it is to know the battle plans. if you get a chance in college to take an indepth study of WW2 then yeah, you would learn about him in some detail. but at the highschool level its not an efficient way of using your resources.

of course, i could argue that boring all the kids to tears so they don't like history and think its all dry and dull by focusing on all the dry and dull stuff and not touching on the interesting stuff has its own problems, but its how they do it.
 
2012-06-14 06:45:24 PM  

Delay: Bull Halsey had a clear idea to win a US victory over Imperial Japan. Then he made his men move according to his plan. Perhaps, Fark posters may want to comment on his remarkable success. Here's mine. If it were not for Admiral Bull Halsey, I would never have been born and you would not speak English.


Japan was never a threat to invade the United States.
 
2012-06-14 06:47:46 PM  

tlchwi02: Delay: Too bad American high school students ignore Admiral Halsey. Why is that?

they barely touch on WW2 at all... or any wars, really. when i was in highschool the emphasis was on what causes a war and how the aftermath is dealt with. with the limited time highschool has to deliver american history (7th and 11th grades when i was there) they don't delve into the battles. The one guy who gets mentioned, if anyone does, is MacArthur and thats only because his showdown with Truman can be used as an example to discuss the president's role as commander in chief and one of the more famed times a military leader has directly challenged it


I'm reading Unbroken right now, book about an Olympic runner and bombadier (sp?) who crashed in the pacific and floated in a raft for 47 days, just to be captured by the Japanese and put in a secret POW camp. Pretty great so far.
 
2012-06-14 06:47:54 PM  
"You want some? Oh you want some too? Aaaarrrggghhh!"

- Private Hudson
 
2012-06-14 06:49:49 PM  

dstanley: "Drop 50 and fire for effect."
"That's your own position."
"I don't give a damn."

Audie Murphy.


upload.wikimedia.org

Medal of Honor
Distinguished Service Cross
Silver Star (with oak leaf cluster)
Legion of Merit
Bronze Star (with Valor device and oak leaf cluster)
Purple Heart (with two oak leaf clusters)
Department of the Army Outstanding Civilian Service Award
U.S. Army Good Conduct Medal
Presidential Unit Citation (with oak leaf cluster)
American Campaign Medal
European-African-Middle Eastern Campaign Medal (with one silver service star & four bronze service stars, representing nine campaigns, and one bronze arrowhead, representing assault landing at Sicily and Southern France)
World War II Victory Medal
Army of Occupation Medal (with Germany Clasp)
Armed Forces Reserve Medal
French Legion of Honor - Grade of Chevalier
French Croix de guerre (with Silver Star)
French Croix de guerre (with Palm)
Medal of Liberated France
Belgian Croix de guerre (with 1940 Palm)
French Fourragère in Colors of the Croix de guerre
Combat Infantryman Badge
Marksman Badge with Rifle Component Bar
Expert Badge with Bayonet Component Bar
 
2012-06-14 06:53:53 PM  

drongozone: #6. "Before When We're Through With Them, the Japanese Language Will Be Spoken Only in Hell."

Fixed stupid quote.


No, I think he meant it the other way.

As in, they'd all be dead and in hell... and he still wouldn't be done kicking their asses.
 
2012-06-14 06:54:50 PM  
www.jimpoz.com

I beg to present you as a Christmas gift the city of Savannah.


merry christmas!
 
2012-06-14 06:56:08 PM  
"It's just a flesh wound"
 
2012-06-14 07:01:40 PM  

This text is now purple: Japan was never a threat to invade the United States.


When I take walks along the Marin Headlands I see bunker after bunker built to respond to the anticipated Japanese attack on the US. Did it ever happen? Well, there was that incident on December 7, 1941 when Japan attacked the US Naval Base at Pearl Harbor in an attempt to destroy the entire Pacific fleet. Perhaps you have been home schooled?
 
2012-06-14 07:07:39 PM  

cgraves67: My favorite: "Nuts"


Came here to say that. Leaving satisfied.
 
2012-06-14 07:08:25 PM  

Delay: Bull Halsey had a clear idea to win a US victory over Imperial Japan. Then he made his men move according to his plan. Perhaps, Fark posters may want to comment on his remarkable success. Here's mine. If it were not for Admiral Bull Halsey, I would never have been born and you would not speak English.

I don't know much about the others on the Cracked list and their foes. But, I know this much about Admiral Bull Halsey. He was up against the two nastiest totalitarian zealots the world has ever known. Then, when the outcome of the Second World War was entirely uncertain, this little man brought the entire Japanese empire to its knees. He saved our country and likely saved almost a billion peasants from death in China.

Too bad American high school students ignore Admiral Halsey. Why is that?


He was vital to the war effort, but he was not the savior you thought he was. I'd put him at the same level as Patton.

I would blame Gen MacArthur and Admiral Nimiz overshadowing him.

Also what ended the war with Japan was the Atomic Bomb. It was science, not a military persona that won the war. Otherwise we could have seen the war last another four years...or even more had Japan resisted on their home turf.
 
2012-06-14 07:08:39 PM  
Would like a word.
basementrejects.com
 
2012-06-14 07:09:40 PM  
Not sure why but when i started to read the headline the first thing that popped into my head was "We come in peace. shoot to kill, shoot to kill" from "Star trekkin"
 
2012-06-14 07:14:50 PM  

Do the needful: I have come here to chew bubble gum and kick ass.

And I'm all out of bubble gum.


I have come here to chew ass and kick bubble gum.

And I'm all out of ass.
 
2012-06-14 07:16:22 PM  

Delay: This text is now purple: Japan was never a threat to invade the United States.

When I take walks along the Marin Headlands I see bunker after bunker built to respond to the anticipated Japanese attack on the US. Did it ever happen? Well, there was that incident on December 7, 1941 when Japan attacked the US Naval Base at Pearl Harbor in an attempt to destroy the entire Pacific fleet. Perhaps you have been home schooled?


attack ≠ invasion.
 
2012-06-14 07:16:23 PM  

gonjie: Not sure why but when i started to read the headline the first thing that popped into my head was "We come in peace. shoot to kill, shoot to kill" from "Star trekkin"


"Theeeeeeere's Klingons on the starboard bow,
starboard bow,
starboard bow!
There's Klingons on the starboard bow!"
 
2012-06-14 07:16:33 PM  

gonjie: Not sure why but when i started to read the headline the first thing that popped into my head was "We come in peace. shoot to kill, shoot to kill" from "Star trekkin"


I was just coming to post this.
 
2012-06-14 07:19:06 PM  

Delay: This text is now purple: Japan was never a threat to invade the United States.

When I take walks along the Marin Headlands I see bunker after bunker built to respond to the anticipated Japanese attack on the US. Did it ever happen? Well, there was that incident on December 7, 1941 when Japan attacked the US Naval Base at Pearl Harbor in an attempt to destroy the entire Pacific fleet. Perhaps you have been home schooled?


He was schooled in the "America is So Bad Ass That No Foreign Power Could Ever Come Here Cause We'd Kick Their Asses" school.

What do you suppose the results of losing Midway were gonna be? They turn around and sail home? Did the Japanese occupation of the Aleutian islands indicate any broader geopolitical goals?
 
2012-06-14 07:19:43 PM  

Delay: tlchwi02: Delay: Too bad American high school students ignore Admiral Halsey. Why is that?

they barely touch on WW2 at all... or any wars, really. when i was in highschool the emphasis was on what causes a war and how the aftermath is dealt with. with the limited time highschool has to deliver american history (7th and 11th grades when i was there) they don't delve into the battles. The one guy who gets mentioned, if anyone does, is MacArthur and thats only because his showdown with Truman can be used as an example to discuss the president's role as commander in chief and one of the more famed times a military leader has directly challenged it

It's sad really. Ask the combatants. They tell us that Roosevelt, Eisenhower and Halsey determined the outcome of the Second World War.


the war could only end one way once we joined it.

in 1943 the U.S. alone had aproximately double the GDP of germany, japan, and italy. Link

in 1937 the U.S. produced 22% of the worlds oil supply (and our share would only rise as the war began), while the second largest share was produced by the USSR with 3.8%. all of latin america only produced 5.6%, and the entire british empire + their commonwealth nations only produced only
5.4% of the world total.
all the axis powers combined only produced 1% of the world total.
Link

when our part in the war started a few weeks before 1942 we had 8 fleet carriers, while the japanese had 10.
three years later we had built 35 additional fleet carriers. Link
this doesn't include the 53 escort carriers we built. Link
and we built all that while the pacific was the secondary theater.
japan managed to build just 3 more carriers after the war with the U.S. began.

in just 3 years of war the u.s. built 88k tanks, while in 7 years japan, germany, and italy built just 71k.
in 3 years of war the u.s. built 2.34 million military trucks, while in 7 years japan, germany, and italy built just 593k.
in 3 years the u.s. built 2.67 milliion machine guns, while in 7 years japan, germany, and italy built just 1.09 million.
in 3 years the u.s. built 325k airplanes, while in 7 years japan, germany, and italy built just 206k
Link

ike was a great diplomat, and halsey may have been an ok tactician, but you and I could have been in their place and we still would have won in the end. there is literally no combination of events that could have lead to us losing and speaking japanese or german.
the reason why no one is taught about halsey is because he didn't f*cking matter. George McClellan or George Armstrong Custer could have been the supreme allied commander or a pacific admiral and we would have eventually mopped the floor with the japanese and germans.
also halsey almost lost a f*cking fleet in a typhoon.
 
2012-06-14 07:19:45 PM  

Delay: This text is now purple: Japan was never a threat to invade the United States.

When I take walks along the Marin Headlands I see bunker after bunker built to respond to the anticipated Japanese attack on the US. Did it ever happen? Well, there was that incident on December 7, 1941 when Japan attacked the US Naval Base at Pearl Harbor in an attempt to destroy the entire Pacific fleet. Perhaps you have been home schooled?


I believe he's talking about the actual United States, and not its territories such as Hawaii...which they didn't attempt to invade either for that matter. And he's right. Japan wasn't a threat to invade the United States. They had neither the intention or the means to do so. America's preperation for such an event doesn't make that any less true.
 
2012-06-14 07:19:46 PM  

Darth_Lukecash: Otherwise we could have seen the war last another four years.


I'm sure that is an underestimate. The fire bombings of Tokyo on the night of March 9-10, 1945 when 334 B-29s flew low over Tokyo to reduce the city to rubble, kill its citizens, and instill terror in the survivors were horrific. Flight Commander Gen. Thomas Power termed the Tokyo fire bombing "the greatest single disaster incurred by any enemy in military history" and yet no terms of surrender were requested.
 
2012-06-14 07:20:28 PM  

Delay: This text is now purple: Japan was never a threat to invade the United States.

When I take walks along the Marin Headlands I see bunker after bunker built to respond to the anticipated Japanese attack on the US. Did it ever happen? Well, there was that incident on December 7, 1941 when Japan attacked the US Naval Base at Pearl Harbor in an attempt to destroy the entire Pacific fleet. Perhaps you have been home schooled?


The grandparent suggested that if not for Halsey, the United States would not speak English. I was pointing out that Japan was never in a position, at any time in American history, to wipe out the entirety of English-speaking America.

The US had twice the population, was protected by the entirety of the Pacific Ocean, had no nearby islands which could be used as staging grounds, and was buffered by two mountain ranges and two Continent-sized open plains before Japan even reached anything of interest. Japan did not possess the heavy armor or bomber capability to launch a serious land-invasion of the US, and had no experience fighting on North American terrain.

Basically, invading the US would have been the stupidest thing Japan could have done. The US was never at risk in WWII of having to abandon English.
 
2012-06-14 07:23:08 PM  
I should say, almost lost a fleet to a typhoon twice.
 
2012-06-14 07:23:57 PM  

Darth_Lukecash:

I would blame Gen MacArthur and Admiral Nimiz overshadowing him.


MacArthur was a goddamn fraud.


Also what ended the war with Japan was the Atomic Bomb. It was science, not a military persona that won the war. Otherwise we could have seen the war last another four years...or even more had Japan resisted on their home turf.


Downfall was going to take about six months to implement, but I suspect that holding Japan would have looked something like holding Iraq if the Emperor didn't tell them to knock that shiat off. It's what you get when you fight Emperor worshiping death cults.
 
2012-06-14 07:25:35 PM  
www.whale.to
 
2012-06-14 07:26:34 PM  

tlchwi02: that's the quote he said to the recently defeated iraqi military leaders.... who promptly took to the hills and became the insurgency that is still killing people to this day. so um, yeah i guess it sounds cool, but is it bad-ass if the enemy subsequently guerilla warfared you to the point you had to give up and start paying them tribute to get them to stop attacking?


Also, he just defeated a POS military that had been crippled by a decade of sanctions and he says "I come in peace."

WTF? No you dumb ass. You just came in war, moran.
 
2012-06-14 07:29:05 PM  
www.changingworld.com
 
2012-06-14 07:30:25 PM  
"Hold on, someone hold my beer for a second..."
 
2012-06-14 07:38:07 PM  

Japan was never a threat to invade the United States.



You sure?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aleutian_Islands_Campaign
 
2012-06-14 07:42:05 PM  

Rent Party: Also what ended the war with Japan was the Atomic Bomb. It was science, not a military persona that won the war. Otherwise we could have seen the war last another four years...or even more had Japan resisted on their home turf.

Downfall was going to take about six months to implement, but I suspect that holding Japan would have looked something like holding Iraq if the Emperor didn't tell them to knock that shiat off. It's what you get when you fight Emperor worshiping death cults.


Unlike in 2005, in 1945, I think the US was prepared to shoot every man, woman, and child who resisted.
 
2012-06-14 07:43:24 PM  
upload.wikimedia.org
Wars produce many stories of fiction, some of which are told until they are believed to be true. - US Grant
 
2012-06-14 07:44:15 PM  

dfwaviator: Japan was never a threat to invade the United States.


You sure?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aleutian_Islands_Campaign


And what were they going to do next with that, exactly? The US had to build a corduroy road through the goddamn Yukon just to get to the place. It would have taken the Japanese until 1947 just to get to the continental US via an Aleutian landing.
 
2012-06-14 07:45:18 PM  

dfwaviator: Japan was never a threat to invade the United States.


You sure?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aleutian_Islands_Campaign


they could have cut off our strategic supply of moss covered rocks and glaciers.

we were reading their mail, and gave not one shiat about those islands.
 
2012-06-14 07:48:40 PM  
4.bp.blogspot.com
"Die motherfarker! Come on! Come on! Come and get it, baby! Come on! I don't got all day! Come on! Come on! Come on you bastard! Come on, you too! Oh, you want some of this? fark you!"
 
2012-06-14 07:52:31 PM  

This text is now purple: dfwaviator: Japan was never a threat to invade the United States.


You sure?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aleutian_Islands_Campaign

And what were they going to do next with that, exactly? The US had to build a corduroy road through the goddamn Yukon just to get to the place. It would have taken the Japanese until 1947 just to get to the continental US via an Aleutian landing.


They were going to meet Germany and Mexico halfway. But the Russians tied up the idiotic Germans and they lost Europe. In addition, Mexico never signed on with the Axis powers. Japan was left by her lonesome with an undisciplined military and no comparable production capabilities.
 
2012-06-14 07:53:43 PM  
John Sedgwick: "What? Men dodging this way for single bullets? What will you do when they open fire along the whole line? I am ashamed of you. They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist...."
 
2012-06-14 07:55:56 PM  

th0rr: Then we will fight in the shade


That. But I've always liked the exchange between Philip and the Spartans:
"If I invade Sparta I shall level it to the ground."
"If"
 
2012-06-14 07:55:59 PM  

Alien Robot: "You Babylonian Busboy, Macedonian Mechanic, Jerusalem Beer Brewer, Alexandrian Goat Skinner, Swineherd of Upper and Lower Egypt, Armenian Pig, Tatar Goat, Kamenets Hangman, Podolian Thief, Grandson of the Evil Serpent Himself and Buffoon of All the World and the Netherworld, Fool of Our God, Swine's Snout, Mare's [Asshole], Butcher's Dog, Unbaptized Brow, May the Devil Steam Your Ass! That's How the Cossacks Answer You, You Nasty Glob of Spit!"

So many good Fark handles here. Anyone need some alts?


I have my fantasy football team names for the next 5 years.
 
2012-06-14 07:56:40 PM  

Ishkur: "Die motherfarker! Come on! Come on! Come and get it, baby! Come on! I don't got all day! Come on! Come on! Come on you bastard! Come on, you too! Oh, you want some of this? fark you!"


You said it much better than I did.
 
2012-06-14 07:56:40 PM  
I'm positive that at least five people have run into battle screaming "Leroy Jenkins!!!!!" and "SPOON!!!!". No, I won't tell you how I know.
 
2012-06-14 07:58:21 PM  
...to the last I grapple with thee; from hell's heart I stab at thee; for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee.
 
2012-06-14 07:59:57 PM  
Dammit... now I have to watch Leeroy Jenkins on youtube.

/at least I have chicken
 
2012-06-14 07:59:57 PM  

orezona: "Hold on, someone hold my beer for a second..."


Usually after that line the speaker only kills themselves.
 
2012-06-14 08:00:39 PM  

LaughingRadish: I'm positive that at least five people have run into battle screaming "Leroy Jenkins!!!!!" and "SPOON!!!!". No, I won't tell you how I know.


Don't forget "NOT IN THE FACE"
 
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