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(Dallas Observer)   Houston -- assh*le of the universe   (blogs.dallasobserver.com) divider line 267
    More: Obvious, Houston Chronicle  
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19771 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Jun 2012 at 4:15 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-06-14 05:05:40 PM  

Detinwolf: How do we feel about Austin...


Austin is being ruined as we speak. Every day more and more people are flocking to a city that is nowhere near big enough to handle the influx of people. The infrastructure can not handle it. Traffic jams never end.

New multi-million dollar high rise apartment buildings have taken over the skyline.

The Dallasification of Austin began years ago but it's now plainly obvious.
 
2012-06-14 05:06:56 PM  
The water has increased in quality in 30 years. From what I hear from the old native it was pretty gross, but now decent.
 
2012-06-14 05:07:01 PM  

Peter von Nostrand: scottydoesntknow: Peter von Nostrand: Article neglects to mention that Dallas is the taint

I've lived in both (currently in Houston), and Dallas is the fakest city I've ever lived in. If Houston is the asshole of the universe, Dallas is the bleached, stuck-up version.

And yet Dallas is still better than Plano


OMG! THIS!

Graduated from High school there in 92 and got the hell out.

Dallas is more of an armpit as compared to the bung-hole-ish-ness of Houston.

// in Austin now...
 
2012-06-14 05:07:36 PM  

BullStrings: matthew_tray: Detinwolf: How do we feel about Austin...

We hate it. Stay away from Austin. It sucks.

No seriously. Stay away. We mean it.

Seriously, DON'T MOVE HERE!!

/born and bred in Austin.


/bears repeating
//especially you Cali rejects; stay on the west coast, you won't like it in Austin
 
2012-06-14 05:07:48 PM  

jso2897: It was quite a few years ago, and a lot of it seemed pretty new, and well over capacity. There was a lot of room on them freeways (unlike L.A.) and there were a lot of guys in BIIIG pickup trucks doing eighty or ninety. They are probably a tad more crowded these days. :D


it was still cheaper to rent an apt then drive 90 miles 1 way + $5 in tolls each way
 
2012-06-14 05:07:48 PM  
Texas sucks. Really bad. Everything you heard is true. You already know this already. You are much better off in California, New York or wherever you are. Don't ever think about moving here. Just stay away. Thank you.
 
2012-06-14 05:08:22 PM  
Oh christ. Here come the douchebags from Austin that are so original and weird. I'm sure it has nothing to do with the ignorance of being a college town freshman that thinks they know how the world works because they take socialogy and psychology with real live professors. Yeah, we go a drink cool beers at cool bars on one street. Look at my new fedora, I'm so hip.
 
2012-06-14 05:09:32 PM  
i.imgur.com

I tell you what, none of them is as pretty as Arlen.
 
2012-06-14 05:10:09 PM  

SandMann: Texas sucks. Really bad. Everything you heard is true. You already know this already. You are much better off in California, New York or wherever you are. Don't ever think about moving here. Just stay away. Thank you.


Visiting that hill country is out, heck you could run into tons of Texans out there, drinking beer
 
2012-06-14 05:10:17 PM  
loonatic112358
Mell of a Hess: Can I say something nice about New Orleans here?

it gets it's own thread or it gets hosed again


Nice reply.

For the record, Dallas and Houston both suck equally. The only nice towns left in Texas are in the Hill Country or in the Permian Basin.

The border towns are, without question, unredeemable. Laredo and Brownsville and El Paso used to be great fun, about thirty years ago. Nowadays, I do not recommend getting within a 200 mile radius of any.
 
2012-06-14 05:10:29 PM  

ThatDarkFellow: Oh christ. Here come the douchebags from Austin that are so original and weird. I'm sure it has nothing to do with the ignorance of being a college town freshman that thinks they know how the world works because they take socialogy and psychology with real live professors. Yeah, we go a drink cool beers at cool bars on one street. Look at my new fedora, I'm so hip.


Let me repost this right here for a quick minute.
I don't want people to accidentally miss this.
 
2012-06-14 05:11:26 PM  
Sorry, Baghdad is the asshole of the universe - El Paso claims the title for North America.
 
2012-06-14 05:12:30 PM  

Mell of a Hess: loonatic112358
Mell of a Hess: Can I say something nice about New Orleans here?

it gets it's own thread or it gets hosed again

Nice reply.

For the record, Dallas and Houston both suck equally. The only nice towns left in Texas are in the Hill Country or in the Permian Basin.

The border towns are, without question, unredeemable. Laredo and Brownsville and El Paso used to be great fun, about thirty years ago. Nowadays, I do not recommend getting within a 200 mile radius of any.


Truly all major cities large enough to have ghetto areas suck in some way, just as residents we're all blind to the blight in our eyes as apposed to that pocket hellhole in the middle of theirs.
 
2012-06-14 05:12:35 PM  

SwingAwayMarell: This argument is over with three very powerful words:

Dallas
Gentlemen's
Club


You're going with that?

I'll just counter with these 3 words:

What
a
shiathole!
 
2012-06-14 05:14:46 PM  

Mell of a Hess: The border towns are, without question, unredeemable. Laredo and Brownsville and El Paso used to be great fun, about thirty years ago. Nowadays, I do not recommend getting within a 200 mile radius of any.


Laredo and Brownsville, yes. El Paso, not so much. El Paso is a pretty neat place actually, and surprisingly safe considering the violence in Juarez on the other side of the fence. El Paso is basically Albuquerque but with style.
 
2012-06-14 05:15:10 PM  
I grew up in Lubbock. STDs and beer.
That's all those people have to share with each other. And not good beer. Coors/miller light for as far as the eye can see.

Turned 18 and moved to the DFW area. At least the STDs here come in a gorgeous package with just a hint of crazy.

Relax. I wore a condom once.
 
2012-06-14 05:16:27 PM  
What seems to have been left out of the article is all the meaningful (to me, anyway) points of what makes a city livable. Houston's food scene wins hands down (being the most ethnically diverse city in the US helps a lot), more arts both performing and visual, more parks, and more events. Houston does resemble a giant strip mall, has terrible traffic, and loses the weather contest (though not by much). Dallas has a bunch of chain restaurants, debutantes, and is the epitome of southern wasp new-money (even the old-money there utterly lacks taste). I find the capitalistically judgmental, busy-bodied Jesus-freaks of Dallas the deciding factor, but that's just me.

/not really a fan of either city
 
2012-06-14 05:16:29 PM  

ThatDarkFellow: Oh christ. Here come the douchebags from Austin that are so original and weird. I'm sure it has nothing to do with the ignorance of being a college town freshman that thinks they know how the world works because they take socialogy and psychology with real live professors. Yeah, we go a drink cool beers at cool bars on one street. Look at my new fedora, I'm so hip.


I'm not weird, I'm just tired of assholes movin to my city, and taking money out if my pocket, playing for peanuts, when I'm supposed to be a professional. 10,15 years ago I could make a living playing music in this town, now everyone expects you to play for tips and beer...
 
2012-06-14 05:17:58 PM  

triptheory: Detinwolf: How do we feel about Austin...

Austin is being ruined as we speak. Every day more and more people are flocking to a city that is nowhere near big enough to handle the influx of people. The infrastructure can not handle it. Traffic jams never end.

New multi-million dollar high rise apartment buildings have taken over the skyline.

The Dallasification of Austin began years ago but it's now plainly obvious.


Everything you said is dead-on, but I have to say, the Austin and San Antonio areas are the only locales in Texas I would choose to live in. Austin has changed a helluva lot since I was at UT in the early 90s . For example, the Drag used to have things like Quackenbush's, record exchange, a porno movie rental store and the much missed GM Steakhouse. Now, it is all upscale shopping and looks like a farking strip mall. But, Austin still has enough coolness and unique character to make it a place worth living - not to mention the economy is pretty decent here.

Grew up in Houston, and the city is basically one giant freeway now. Dallas is pretty much a mirror image of Atlanta, and who the hell wants to live there?
 
2012-06-14 05:18:45 PM  

SandMann: Texas sucks. Really bad. Everything you heard is true. You already know this already. You are much better off in California, New York or wherever you are. Don't ever think about moving here. Just stay away. Thank you.


THIS. It sucks soooo bad here.
Please stay in New York, California, Colorado, Delaware or one of those super nice places.

Please don't come down here in the winter either. We have... umm.. winter herpes... yeah, and horrible chigger infestations... You are better off wherever you are now.
 
2012-06-14 05:20:39 PM  

BullStrings: ThatDarkFellow: Oh christ. Here come the douchebags from Austin that are so original and weird. I'm sure it has nothing to do with the ignorance of being a college town freshman that thinks they know how the world works because they take socialogy and psychology with real live professors. Yeah, we go a drink cool beers at cool bars on one street. Look at my new fedora, I'm so hip.

I'm not weird, I'm just tired of assholes movin to my city, and taking money out if my pocket, playing for peanuts, when I'm supposed to be a professional. 10,15 years ago I could make a living playing music in this town, now everyone expects you to play for tips and beer...


I guess you shouldn't be in "the music capital" then ... or maybe your band sucks, but don't worry, the people are coming. I'm amazed at how Austin has grown in the last 20 years.

/And it's gonna keep growing.
/The San Antonio/Austin metroplex is inevitable
 
2012-06-14 05:21:06 PM  

Happy Hours: SwingAwayMarell: This argument is over with three very powerful words:

Dallas
Gentlemen's
Club

You're going with that?

I'll just counter with these 3 words:

What
a
shiathole!


Whoa! I know it's not Hooters or anything, but goddamn. Did something change since the last time I was there in '99? Do the chicks have dicks now?
 
2012-06-14 05:24:19 PM  

buckler: I was once forced to take a bus from San Antonio to Orlando via Dallas. I laughed my ass off when we stopped in Dallas and I saw what I suspected was a businessman dressed in a denim 3-piece suit complete with snakeskin cowboy boots and hat. Cattle-skull bolo tie, too. Texans are damned retarded.


Close, that was a pimp.
 
2012-06-14 05:25:37 PM  
I love the lack of perspective in these threads; a bunch of posters, the bulk of them poorly-traveled, arguing about which berg in their culturally homogenized nation is "better", predominantly judging based upon things like traffic and weather...
 
2012-06-14 05:25:52 PM  

andersoncouncil42: The only places in Texas that don't suck

Austin
San Antonio


San Antonio is pretty sucky
 
2012-06-14 05:25:53 PM  

devilskware: BullStrings: ThatDarkFellow: Oh christ. Here come the douchebags from Austin that are so original and weird. I'm sure it has nothing to do with the ignorance of being a college town freshman that thinks they know how the world works because they take socialogy and psychology with real live professors. Yeah, we go a drink cool beers at cool bars on one street. Look at my new fedora, I'm so hip.

I'm not weird, I'm just tired of assholes movin to my city, and taking money out if my pocket, playing for peanuts, when I'm supposed to be a professional. 10,15 years ago I could make a living playing music in this town, now everyone expects you to play for tips and beer...

I guess you shouldn't be in "the music capital" then ... or maybe your band sucks, but don't worry, the people are coming. I'm amazed at how Austin has grown in the last 20 years.

/And it's gonna keep growing.
/The San Antonio/Austin metroplex is inevitable


Don't get me wrong, I make money. Its hard not to when you play with a symphony, two big bands, a blues band, three rockabilly bands, two rock annd roll bands, and sevral small jazz groups, but to find a gig in this town, and try to talk with club managements about money and living wages, they look at you like your crazy, because they can get green idiots who just moved here with a guitar to come in and play for free.
 
2012-06-14 05:26:00 PM  
I lived in Houston for less than a year. It was longest decade of my life.

No amount of money exists to make me move back there.

I'm sure it doesn't miss me, either.

/San Antonio was pretty, though.
 
2012-06-14 05:27:10 PM  

Electriclectic: I was born in Dallas, but to this day, it's the only city I've ever been to that has no soul.

Houston's not great, but at least it's got character. Dallas is the type of city that would regard Olive Garden replacing a small business as an improvement.


I hired a guy to cover the southwest - he lives in Dallas, I live in CT. I go down to help him out his first couple weeks, and as we were discussing where to eat, he said "I know a great Tex Mex place - you probably don't get that up there in Connecticut."

Then he took me to On the Border. Couldn't f*cking believe it.
 
2012-06-14 05:27:13 PM  

Chunky Pumpkinhead: Detinwolf: How do we feel about Austin...

A shell of what it was. Californians and transplants move there thinking they're hip, and ask the locals to turn down their music


There has been so much sprawl in Austin. You can't throw a rock in Lakeway without hitting a new subdivision.

However, I still prefer it to Houston. Looking to move that way in the next 5yrs.

The biggest mistake people make about Houston is expecting to find something to do downtown. All of the action is in the heights, midtown medical center/museum district.
 
2012-06-14 05:27:42 PM  

misanthropic1: I love the lack of perspective in these threads; a bunch of posters, the bulk of them poorly-traveled, arguing about which berg in their culturally homogenized nation is "better", predominantly judging based upon things like traffic and weather...


Um, check my profile...
 
2012-06-14 05:29:02 PM  

Happy Hours: you done been trolled by the Dallas Observer.


The toilet paper of Texas newspapers.
 
2012-06-14 05:30:58 PM  
That entire article was a load of bull.

Every Texan outside of Dallas knows that Dallas is a shiathole. I have actually frequently made the argument that Galveston (being the port) is like the mouth of Texas, and Houston (for all the food) is like the stomach of Texas. Dallas is the actual assh*le of Texas and Austin could arguably called the brain (if only because it is the capitol).

/El Paso is the big toe of Texas.
 
2012-06-14 05:32:05 PM  
The state of Florida demands a recount. There must be some hanging chads or something if they didn't win.
 
2012-06-14 05:33:04 PM  

Babwa Wawa: Electriclectic: I was born in Dallas, but to this day, it's the only city I've ever been to that has no soul.

Houston's not great, but at least it's got character. Dallas is the type of city that would regard Olive Garden replacing a small business as an improvement.

I hired a guy to cover the southwest - he lives in Dallas, I live in CT. I go down to help him out his first couple weeks, and as we were discussing where to eat, he said "I know a great Tex Mex place - you probably don't get that up there in Connecticut."

Then he took me to On the Border. Couldn't f*cking believe it.


A good rule of thumb next time you are in TX is only eat Mexican at places that have the word 'taqueria' in their name.
I live in Maine for 12 years, and finding good Mexican in New England is about as easy as finding decent seafood in Texas (and no, catfish isn't seafood).
 
2012-06-14 05:33:22 PM  

devilskware: /The San Antonio/Austin metroplex is inevitable


NOOO Not Gruene and New Braunfels!!

(yes I know there's a burb right there
 
2012-06-14 05:34:01 PM  

Arkanaut: Is this just because they have two Starbucks across the street from each other?

/Pretty sure Lewis Black actually said it was in Houston.


West Grey near South Shepherd. Both stores have now been open for several years. It's freakish.
 
2012-06-14 05:34:46 PM  
The only thing worse than thinking your city/town/village/state/whatever is the greatest place on earth is... thinking it's the worst place on earth.
 
2012-06-14 05:35:17 PM  

misanthropic1: I love the lack of perspective in these threads; a bunch of posters, the bulk of them poorly-traveled, arguing about which berg in their culturally homogenized nation is "better", predominantly judging based upon things like traffic and weather...


I find the homogenization much nicer then say places like the Dominican Republic
 
2012-06-14 05:35:50 PM  

Jake Leg: But, Austin still has enough coolness and unique character to make it a place worth living - not to mention the economy is pretty decent here.


Ignore this Troll who is clearly trying to mislead you.

Austin sucks AND NO ONE SHOULD EVER MOVE THERE EVER. Thinking of moving to Austin? Move to Portland, Brooklyn, or Ann Arbor instead. Or stay in California.

/Lived in Austin for years. Thank God I finally was able to move out of that shiathole to DC which has no drawbacks whatsoever. Nope, none at all. The tex-mex and barbecue is sooooooooooo much better here than that crap in Austin. And the Metro is cheap and reliable.
 
2012-06-14 05:36:05 PM  

Babwa Wawa: Then he took me to On the Border. Couldn't f*cking believe it.


Ya ought to have shot him
 
2012-06-14 05:36:14 PM  

throughthewire: Arkanaut: Is this just because they have two Starbucks across the street from each other?

/Pretty sure Lewis Black actually said it was in Houston.

West Grey near South Shepherd. Both stores have now been open for several years. It's freakish.


I thought there was one in the (Hot mom) Kroger nearby.
 
2012-06-14 05:37:15 PM  

Tosches: That entire article was a load of bull.

Every Texan outside of Dallas knows that Dallas is a shiathole. I have actually frequently made the argument that Galveston (being the port) is like the mouth of Texas, and Houston (for all the food) is like the stomach of Texas. Dallas is the actual assh*le of Texas and Austin could arguably called the brain (if only because it is the capitol).

/El Paso is the big toe of Texas.


Growing up in Houston, I was raised to hate Dallas - really hate it. My uncles used to call people from Dallas 'Yankees.' And, it stuck. I still get all emotional talking about the Oilers, and mention of the Cowboys gives me something akin to a gag reflex and angries up my blood (which I suspect is not unique to my being from Houston).
 
2012-06-14 05:37:25 PM  

jaybeezey: The biggest mistake people make about Houston is expecting to find something to do downtown. All of the action is in the heights, midtown medical center/museum district.


Yea, that whole discovery green thing is a passing phase, nor the soccer stadium, or the baseball or basketball stadiums, not to mention no bars, or restaurant or theaters (movie or stage) as a matter of fact at 4:55 it's a ghost town down there
 
2012-06-14 05:38:18 PM  

Tosches: That entire article was a load of bull.

Every Texan outside of Dallas knows that Dallas is a shiathole. I have actually frequently made the argument that Galveston (being the port) is like the mouth of Texas, and Houston (for all the food) is like the stomach of Texas. Dallas is the actual assh*le of Texas and Austin could arguably called the brain (if only because it is the capitol).

/El Paso is the big toe of Texas.


You know god damn well that Galveston is nothing but a bunch of ghetto porch monkeys that don't know how to move when a giant wave of water is coming at them and tourists waiting for cruise ships so they can get the hell out.
 
2012-06-14 05:38:49 PM  
I Live Near Houston and totally agree - it is the A$$ HOLE OF THE UNIVERSE!!!

Dallas is 100 % better than Houston...
This TOWN NEEDS AN ENEMA!!!
 
2012-06-14 05:39:01 PM  
I think it would be a better argument if we compared Montrose to anything in Dallas. I may be a bit biased since I really like the Mayor of Montrose ;)
 
2012-06-14 05:40:17 PM  
To be honest, I live in Dallas, work in Plano and take business trips to Houston all the time. Houston reeks (I do mean actually physically smells bad), is full of more trashy people and is too humid for my taste. Also, any storms in the gulf trashes out Houston for a month or more

All that being said, Houston is better than Dallas, due to being further from the home of George Worthless Bush.
 
2012-06-14 05:40:28 PM  
At least Houston did not declare a train museum as a public nuisance.
Link
 
2012-06-14 05:41:01 PM  

BullStrings: misanthropic1: I love the lack of perspective in these threads; a bunch of posters, the bulk of them poorly-traveled, arguing about which berg in their culturally homogenized nation is "better", predominantly judging based upon things like traffic and weather...

Um, check my profile...


Wasn't singling you out by any means; don't get me wrong, there are differences to be sure. I just think the vehemence some people like to trade in regarding cultural superiority of one city over another is kinda silly, given how culturally homogeneous the country is in the first place.
 
2012-06-14 05:41:38 PM  

Jake Leg: A good rule of thumb next time you are in TX is only eat Mexican at places that have the word 'taqueria' in their name.
I live in Maine for 12 years, and finding good Mexican in New England is about as easy as finding decent seafood in Texas (and no, catfish isn't seafood).


Yeah, I know good Mexican - San Diego spoiled me for it. There is one decent but not great place near me, and a bunch of faux-Mex joints (like On the Border). But I really couldn't believe that a guy who lived in Dallas his entire life thought that On the Border was the pinnacle of Tex-Mex cuisine.

For the record, Dallas is a fake shiathole, Houston is a real shiathole. Couldn't pay me enough to live in either, but if I had to choose it would be Dallas.
 
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