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(Daily Mail)   Meet the couple that is going to die violently in their sleep some day soon   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 171
    More: Dumbass, South African, body slams  
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25768 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Jun 2012 at 12:39 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-06-14 12:55:23 PM  
He actually does look like a total sweetie-pie; but the picture that scared me the most was the one with all the dogs. Kill the stupid humans if you must, but those dogs are ignorant of their humans' stupidity.
 
2012-06-14 12:56:03 PM  

Marcus Aurelius: It looks like that cat isn't fixed. Wait until he starts marking his territory.


And considering the need to preserve genetic diversity, no reputable vet is going to alter that tiger. But then, these people purchasing a 9 week old tiger cub proves these folks probably don't know the meaning of the word "reputable."
 
2012-06-14 12:57:43 PM  
WTF?!?! It's inside a LAMBORGHINI?!?!?! Holy shiat!

i.dailymail.co.uk
 
2012-06-14 12:58:18 PM  
...these people can afford a Lamborghini and a huge house...but they're so stupid as to buy and live with a freaking tiger. How did they make their money? Usually stupidity doesn't pay.

Or is it a whole "I'm so rich, I control nature itself!" type thing?
 
2012-06-14 12:59:09 PM  

FreakinB: CSB: My girlfriend works with somebody* who kept a snake as a pet and would let it free around the house, including at night. At one point, they noticed that the snake started to lie next to the bed at night, stretched out perfectly straight. They thought this was strange and asked a vet, who told them that the snake was actually sizing them up for an eventual meal.

No snakes for me. Ever.

*Or works with somebody who knows somebody. I don't remember. It's not important.


No - your girlfriend works with someone who received a chain e-mail from someone (it's not true). Link
 
2012-06-14 12:59:22 PM  

Nakito: gilgigamesh: FlashHarry: the whole point of that bit was that there are no tigers in africa. which is why one of them said, "it probably escaped from the zoo."

See, I always interpreted it that the authors thought there actually *are* tigers in Africa, so the joke was that all of these British dudes were ignorant of that fact and were shocked to hear about a tiger in Africa.

Once in a while, something happens on Fark to remind why human interactions are so complicated. This is one of those times.


I don't know why, but I found that inordinately funny.
 
2012-06-14 12:59:29 PM  

mainstreet62: WTF?!?! It's inside a LAMBORGHINI?!?!?! Holy shiat!

[i.dailymail.co.uk image 634x403]


HOW CAN THIS BE???
 
2012-06-14 01:00:44 PM  

mainstreet62: So apparently 27 stone = 378 pounds, 1 stone = 14 lbs.

Who the fark makes up these units of measure? Stick with MKS units, goddamnit!


In the case of the stone, it goes back into antiquity. The Romans standardized it, though the unit has changed over the years and was different to different cultures.
 
2012-06-14 01:01:05 PM  

krrris: FreakinB: CSB: My girlfriend works with somebody* who kept a snake as a pet and would let it free around the house, including at night. At one point, they noticed that the snake started to lie next to the bed at night, stretched out perfectly straight. They thought this was strange and asked a vet, who told them that the snake was actually sizing them up for an eventual meal.

No snakes for me. Ever.

*Or works with somebody who knows somebody. I don't remember. It's not important.

No - your girlfriend works with someone who received a chain e-mail from someone (it's not true). Link


I don't know why that wasn't my first thought. Thanks.
 
2012-06-14 01:02:50 PM  
"Moggy?"
 
2012-06-14 01:03:12 PM  
It looks like a complete sweetheart. And I'm sure it will be, right up until the inevitable occurs.

It happens. My cat is a sweetheart, and he has still gotten in a bad mood or accidentally clawed me while playing. This animal weighs approximately 63x as much as my cat. It could literally bite through your skull.
 
2012-06-14 01:03:19 PM  
Also,

Meet the couple that is going to die violently in their sleep some day soon
 
2012-06-14 01:03:53 PM  

Lord Dimwit: mainstreet62: WTF?!?! It's inside a LAMBORGHINI?!?!?! Holy shiat!

[i.dailymail.co.uk image 634x403]

HOW CAN THIS BE???


I know, right?! I have to settle for a Ferrari rental when I'm transporting dangerous animals around.
 
2012-06-14 01:04:35 PM  
I love tigers, and I've forever wanted one as a pet, but it's my love of them that would never let me keep one. They're beautiful, majestic, but wild creatures. They deserve their open spaces.

Oh, and China: STOP farkING EATING THEM! Their balls won't make you better in bed, or whatever the stupid shiat you believe.

/Wikipedia says 2500 left in the wild.
 
2012-06-14 01:04:46 PM  

Cythraul:

What I find interesting about how these people die is that it doesn't always involve a predatory animal being all 'predator' like. And what I mean by that is, the death doesn't involve the animal stalking its 'prey,' and it didn't kill because it was hungry.

I've read many accounts of people who have dangerous animals as pets being 'victimized' (if you can call it that, since they willingly take on the risk) during a play session, or something similar, where the animal doesn't realize just how fragile we are compared to them.

Note, that doesn't stop the animal from eating its formerly alive owner after their demise.


Which is what makes this current idiots "I expect to bleed a little when we play" comment that much mor funny(in a black humor sort of way). He knows that tiger can easily kill him without even realizing it, but the moron keeps tussling with it anyway.
 
2012-06-14 01:06:06 PM  

mainstreet62: WTF?!?! It's inside a LAMBORGHINI?!?!?! Holy shiat!

[i.dailymail.co.uk image 634x403]


"Problem, officer?"
 
2012-06-14 01:07:04 PM  

mainstreet62: WTF?!?! It's inside a LAMBORGHINI?!?!?! Holy shiat!

[i.dailymail.co.uk image 634x403]


Holy shiat it's a tiger, get out of the Lamborghini!
 
2012-06-14 01:07:26 PM  
It'll kill him just for sporting that toupee.
 
2012-06-14 01:08:14 PM  

JackieRabbit: mainstreet62: So apparently 27 stone = 378 pounds, 1 stone = 14 lbs.

Who the fark makes up these units of measure? Stick with MKS units, goddamnit!

In the case of the stone, it goes back into antiquity. The Romans standardized it, though the unit has changed over the years and was different to different cultures.


how many Courics is it?
 
2012-06-14 01:10:50 PM  
They have a lambo and named their "pet" cat Enzo. At least when it mauls them in a year or two we'll have two less rich wastes of space on the planet.
 
2012-06-14 01:11:23 PM  
Why!!!!???.
 
2012-06-14 01:11:53 PM  

gilgigamesh: ManateeGag: He's going to eat one of those dogs first.

As long as he's well fed, I doubt it. But its only a matter of time before he kills one.

I suspect tigers have the same disposition as house cats. House cats are unpredictable, violent creatures, and the only reason we can safely coexist with them is they only weigh about 5-10 pounds. If they were big enough, every cat would kill or maul his owner eventually. We'll read a blood soaked followup to this within a year.

Relatedly, the picture of the tiger sitting in front of the computer monitor is pretty funny. I guess tigers have that same habit house cats have of sitting in front of whatever people are paying attention to.


Tiger-like typing detected?

Seriously though, I'll never understand the thinking behind "Hey, let's keep a potentially lethal animal as a house pet!" WTF?
 
2012-06-14 01:12:06 PM  
They could have just switched to Geico
 
2012-06-14 01:13:15 PM  
Never get out of the boat.
 
2012-06-14 01:13:16 PM  

Nexzus: I love tigers, and I've forever wanted one as a pet, but it's my love of them that would never let me keep one. They're beautiful, majestic, but wild creatures. They deserve their open spaces.

Oh, and China: STOP farkING EATING THEM! Their balls won't make you better in bed, or whatever the stupid shiat you believe.

/Wikipedia says 2500 left in the wild.


Yeah, every time you hear about tiger/lion/rhino/elephant/insertendangeredanimalhere poachers, they're always selling the remnants to make some ridiculous goddamn potion for longevity/ED/etc. It's really pathetic.
Also, enough with the shark fin soup. From what I hear, it's like leather shoelaces in broth, but people eat it because it's either A) traditional, or B) edgy. So untold millions of sharks are slaughtered every year so people can grimace at eat other over bowls of fish-flavored shoelace soup. Woo-hooo!
 
2012-06-14 01:13:27 PM  

sweater_pups: JackieRabbit: mainstreet62: So apparently 27 stone = 378 pounds, 1 stone = 14 lbs.

Who the fark makes up these units of measure? Stick with MKS units, goddamnit!

In the case of the stone, it goes back into antiquity. The Romans standardized it, though the unit has changed over the years and was different to different cultures.

how many Courics is it?


I'd esimate 0.4, but they say the camera adds 15 lbs so i might be off.
 
2012-06-14 01:16:16 PM  

littleray42: I agree this is pretty stupid, but I will give them credit for having all those dogs. Socializing a predatory animal like that will go a long way to minimizing the chances of it getting spooked when something goes bump in the night and eating them when they come home late.

/Still dumb
//Never own a pet that can kill you on a whim.
///Same goes for bigass dogs.


Dogs are much more social than cats. They also do a better job of scaling the aggression back just a tad when playing than cats usually do. You have a decent chance of maintaining control, even with quite aggressive large breeds. Even Presa Canarios like the ones that ate Diane Whipple. Of course, when people don't, it sucks, but if that happened to everyone that had one, the breed really would vanish. A several hundred pound cat, worse yet, from an undomesticated, and even worse, solitary species, well, it seems about as wise as juggling a half dozen live grenades with the pins out.
 
2012-06-14 01:16:32 PM  

FreakinB: krrris: FreakinB: CSB: My girlfriend works with somebody* who kept a snake as a pet and would let it free around the house, including at night. At one point, they noticed that the snake started to lie next to the bed at night, stretched out perfectly straight. They thought this was strange and asked a vet, who told them that the snake was actually sizing them up for an eventual meal.

No snakes for me. Ever.

*Or works with somebody who knows somebody. I don't remember. It's not important.

No - your girlfriend works with someone who received a chain e-mail from someone (it's not true). Link

I don't know why that wasn't my first thought. Thanks.


No problem! One of my college students, years ago, used a story from a false e-mail in his speech. I believe I docked his grade by about 20 points. It's impossible to teach them to search using anything but Google.

I don't blame you, though. We're more likely to be critical of a forwarded e-mail than something someone we like/respect says.
 
2012-06-14 01:16:46 PM  
It'll end just like it did for Timothy Treadwell and every other idiot who thinks they can co-exist with wild killing machines because they think they have some magic powers.. shiat, even a magician got mauled by one.
 
2012-06-14 01:17:55 PM  
Chris rock doing his tiger bit comes to mind
 
2012-06-14 01:19:12 PM  
Farking sickos:


i49.tinypic.com
i49.tinypic.com
i48.tinypic.com
i47.tinypic.com
 
2012-06-14 01:19:50 PM  
Great way to save money: Don't buy cat food, be cat food.
 
2012-06-14 01:21:39 PM  

aspAddict: Meet the couple that is going to die violently in their sleep some day soon has more money than brains.

FTFY, subster.


THIS! They seem like white trash to me. Yeah, the tiger is cool, but you live in (what I would assume) is an expensive home and you let you exotic pet destroy it. How much you want to bet that Lamborghini is destroyed inside from that tiger. Fine Italian leather doesn't work well with pointy claws. But, that's okay, you are so cool because you have a pet tiger, just ignore the fact that everything you own will eventually be destroyed and enjoy living in your shiathole. Oh and enjoy the eventual mauling.
 
2012-06-14 01:24:21 PM  

Louisiana_Sitar_Club: Farking sickos:


HAHAHAHA!
 
2012-06-14 01:24:51 PM  

JackieRabbit: In the case of the stone, it goes back into antiquity. The Romans standardized it, though the unit has changed over the years and was different to different cultures.


Same goes for the mile, which is equal to 1000 of what the Romans called a pace. No one uses paces anymore, but the mile stuck, now defined as 5,280 feet.

This goes for a lot of the English measurement system: a hodgepodge of different measurements that actually make a lot of sense in context, but with all the context removed. The English language isn't all that different.
 
2012-06-14 01:25:46 PM  
Meet the couple that is going to die violently in their sleep some day soon

I guess it's a UK vs USA thing, but "the couple that is" really grates. And, going with that, to then refer to this couple's sleep as "their sleep"... So, which is it, singular or plural? Huh, singular or plural?

/ Needs to go and have a lie down
 
2012-06-14 01:27:48 PM  
i125.photobucket.com

"Tiger brand coffee ... is a real treat ...
even tigers prefer a cup of it ... to real meat"
 
2012-06-14 01:30:13 PM  

tardigrade: Meet the couple that is going to die violently in their sleep some day soon

I guess it's a UK vs USA thing, but "the couple that is" really grates. And, going with that, to then refer to this couple's sleep as "their sleep"... So, which is it, singular or plural? Huh, singular or plural?

/ Needs to go and have a lie down


Please do not force me to pull up examples of British people mangling the English language.
 
2012-06-14 01:31:00 PM  
OMG KITTY!!!!1!
 
2012-06-14 01:31:14 PM  

offmymeds: Seriously though, I'll never understand the thinking behind "Hey, let's keep a potentially lethal animal as a house pet!" WTF?


Elephants can crush you effortlessly, yet people have used elephants for centuries. The wild part is more relevant. Wolverines aren't that big but you should always treat one as if it can kill you.

That said, it's possible to keep a big, wild, lethal animal as a pet. The people who do, however, are generally experts who respect the animals and take necessary precautions. If a tiger starts misbehaving, the one time it decides to contest your authority will be over real quick.
 
2012-06-14 01:35:50 PM  

Lord Dimwit: ...these people can afford a Lamborghini and a huge house...but they're so stupid as to buy and live with a freaking tiger. How did they make their money? Usually stupidity doesn't pay.

Or is it a whole "I'm so rich, I control nature itself!" type thing?



We have an exotic feline rescue farm here in Indiana that I take my kids to once in a while. The workers there told me over half of their 200 cats came from dipshiat drug dealers who got busted or just disappeared. So yeah- Lambourghini, big house, tiger... sounds about right.
 
2012-06-14 01:37:05 PM  
upload.wikimedia.org

Gimme my tiger back!
 
2012-06-14 01:38:31 PM  

FreakinB: CSB: My girlfriend works with somebody* who kept a snake as a pet and would let it free around the house, including at night. At one point, they noticed that the snake started to lie next to the bed at night, stretched out perfectly straight. They thought this was strange and asked a vet, who told them that the snake was actually sizing them up for an eventual meal.

No snakes for me. Ever.

*Or works with somebody who knows somebody. I don't remember. It's not important.


Few vets know snakes very well. This snake likely had no intention of eating anyone, it just felt more secure snuggled up against the side of the bed.

/kept snakes for 40 years, never had a problem even with 12-foot python... which did NOT roam freely!
 
2012-06-14 01:39:57 PM  
Stupid, spoiled rich assholes.

What will happen to the poor tiger when he mauls one of them, or a guest... If he's lucky, a rescue will have room. If not, another beautiful, rare creature will die because some humans just had to have an exotic "pet".

/the pics were cute, though
 
2012-06-14 01:41:21 PM  

Lando Lincoln: Yes, it's always awesome to have a pet like this, right up until the day it decides to play too rough and kills somebody.


You mean the girlfriend, right?
 
2012-06-14 01:42:27 PM  
But I had a bath last year... Enzo tries to dodge getting wet in the couple's bathroom

Tigers love the water, you big dummy


And I love tigers, they are seriously my favorite animal, but no way would I keep one as a pet. That's just..... it WILL eat you! You are delicious! You taste like ham!
 
2012-06-14 01:42:46 PM  

dragonchild: offmymeds: Seriously though, I'll never understand the thinking behind "Hey, let's keep a potentially lethal animal as a house pet!" WTF?

Elephants can crush you effortlessly, yet people have used elephants for centuries. The wild part is more relevant. Wolverines aren't that big but you should always treat one as if it can kill you.

That said, it's possible to keep a big, wild, lethal animal as a pet. The people who do, however, are generally experts who respect the animals and take necessary precautions. If a tiger starts misbehaving, the one time it decides to contest your authority will be over real quick.


And the key word here is "experts". I doubt these two are experts at much of anything beside making questionable decisions. As someone else has already pointed out in this thread, they have more money than common sense. Also:

jasimo: Nexzus: I love tigers, and I've forever wanted one as a pet, but it's my love of them that would never let me keep one. They're beautiful, majestic, but wild creatures. They deserve their open spaces.

Oh, and China: STOP farkING EATING THEM! Their balls won't make you better in bed, or whatever the stupid shiat you believe.

/Wikipedia says 2500 left in the wild.

Yeah, every time you hear about tiger/lion/rhino/elephant/insertendangeredanimalhere poachers, they're always selling the remnants to make some ridiculous goddamn potion for longevity/ED/etc. It's really pathetic.
Also, enough with the shark fin soup. From what I hear, it's like leather shoelaces in broth, but people eat it because it's either A) traditional, or B) edgy. So untold millions of sharks are slaughtered every year so people can grimace at eat other over bowls of fish-flavored shoelace soup. Woo-hooo!


THIS.
 
2012-06-14 01:43:11 PM  
sbadrinath.files.wordpress.com

How else do I defend myself if an angry mob stalks me with a bunch of raspberries?
 
2012-06-14 01:47:28 PM  

cherryl taggart: Marcus Aurelius: It looks like that cat isn't fixed. Wait until he starts marking his territory.

And considering the need to preserve genetic diversity, no reputable vet is going to alter that tiger. But then, these people purchasing a 9 week old tiger cub proves these folks probably don't know the meaning of the word "reputable."


This, and any other, "domestic tiger" is going to have no genetic value unless there is a documented pedigree. Many of those pet-trade exotics are cross-breeds of various subspecies, which reduces their value to any conservation efforts. Bengal tigers don't interbreed with Siberian tigers in the wild, so any offspring of such a mating is useless. Except, of course, for the ones that kill and eat the brainless rich white people that buy them.
 
2012-06-14 01:48:55 PM  

gilgigamesh: ManateeGag: He's going to eat one of those dogs first.

As long as he's well fed, I doubt it. But its only a matter of time before he kills one.

I suspect tigers have the same disposition as house cats. House cats are unpredictable, violent creatures, and the only reason we can safely coexist with them is they only weigh about 5-10 pounds. If they were big enough, every cat would kill or maul his owner eventually. We'll read a blood soaked followup to this within a year.

Relatedly, the picture of the tiger sitting in front of the computer monitor is pretty funny. I guess tigers have that same habit house cats have of sitting in front of whatever people are paying attention to.


Good general rule- never keep anything as a pet that you don't have at least a 50-50 chance of beating in hand-to-hand.
 
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