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(Daily Mail)   Meet the couple that is going to die violently in their sleep some day soon   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 171
    More: Dumbass, South African, body slams  
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25766 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Jun 2012 at 12:39 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-06-14 08:54:43 AM  
i.dailymail.co.uk

I'll never hurt you, I promise.
 
2012-06-14 09:10:44 AM  
I wonder if those toilets in the dining room work.
 
2012-06-14 09:15:54 AM  
Enzo shares his home with no less than 14 pet dogs but it's clear who's the top cat

Pretty soon there might be less than.
 
2012-06-14 09:21:10 AM  
A tiger?!?
 
2012-06-14 09:22:02 AM  
Farking dumbasses.
 
2012-06-14 09:31:18 AM  
This ends exactly the same farking way every farking time.
 
2012-06-14 09:40:20 AM  
CSB: My girlfriend works with somebody* who kept a snake as a pet and would let it free around the house, including at night. At one point, they noticed that the snake started to lie next to the bed at night, stretched out perfectly straight. They thought this was strange and asked a vet, who told them that the snake was actually sizing them up for an eventual meal.

No snakes for me. Ever.

*Or works with somebody who knows somebody. I don't remember. It's not important.
 
2012-06-14 09:42:04 AM  
i.dailymail.co.uk

If they get into trouble, she can just stab the tiger with her nose.
 
2012-06-14 09:43:31 AM  

Grables'Daughter: [i.dailymail.co.uk image 634x462]

If they get into trouble, she can just stab the tiger with her nose.


Not everyone can have a perfect nose like you, ya know.
 
2012-06-14 09:45:14 AM  

Cythraul: Grables'Daughter: [i.dailymail.co.uk image 634x462]

If they get into trouble, she can just stab the tiger with her nose.

Not everyone can have a perfect nose like you, ya know.


Sure they can. It just costs money.
 
2012-06-14 09:47:32 AM  
I bet those are some WELL behaved dogs....
 
2012-06-14 09:53:04 AM  
It looks like that cat isn't fixed. Wait until he starts marking his territory.
 
2012-06-14 09:57:46 AM  
He's going to eat one of those dogs first.
 
2012-06-14 09:59:52 AM  
i.dailymail.co.uk

Soon.
 
2012-06-14 10:05:30 AM  
"Day tripper: At four months Enzo could still fit in the couple's Lamborghini but it would be a bit of a squeeze now"

*bangs head on desk*
 
2012-06-14 10:08:03 AM  

Sybarite: A tiger?!?


In Africa!
 
2012-06-14 10:10:28 AM  

I_Am_Weasel: Sybarite: A tiger?!?

In Africa!


it probably escaped from the zoo.
 
2012-06-14 10:12:04 AM  

ManateeGag: He's going to eat one of those dogs first.


As long as he's well fed, I doubt it. But its only a matter of time before he kills one.

I suspect tigers have the same disposition as house cats. House cats are unpredictable, violent creatures, and the only reason we can safely coexist with them is they only weigh about 5-10 pounds. If they were big enough, every cat would kill or maul his owner eventually. We'll read a blood soaked followup to this within a year.

Relatedly, the picture of the tiger sitting in front of the computer monitor is pretty funny. I guess tigers have that same habit house cats have of sitting in front of whatever people are paying attention to.
 
2012-06-14 10:15:35 AM  

FlashHarry: I_Am_Weasel: Sybarite: A tiger?!?

In Africa!

it probably escaped from the zoo.


The odd thing about that joke? There are no tigers in Africa. The are native to the Indian subcontinent. So if you saw one in Africa, it did escape from the zoo.

That was surprising. Monty Python is usually more intellectual than that.
 
2012-06-14 10:21:13 AM  

gilgigamesh: FlashHarry: I_Am_Weasel: Sybarite: A tiger?!?

In Africa!

it probably escaped from the zoo.

The odd thing about that joke? There are no tigers in Africa. The are native to the Indian subcontinent. So if you saw one in Africa, it did escape from the zoo.

That was surprising. Monty Python is usually more intellectual than that.


WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH.
 
2012-06-14 10:37:29 AM  

Tigger: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH.


Really? I thought the joke was that they were shocked that there were tigers in Africa.

Of course I was 13 when I saw that movie. So maybe I did miss something.
 
2012-06-14 10:57:48 AM  

gilgigamesh: Tigger: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH.

Really? I thought the joke was that they were shocked that there were tigers in Africa.

Of course I was 13 when I saw that movie. So maybe I did miss something.


the whole point of that bit was that there are no tigers in africa. which is why one of them said, "it probably escaped from the zoo."
 
2012-06-14 11:00:07 AM  
the python bit in question. it's near the end of the clip.
 
2012-06-14 11:33:01 AM  
Yes, it's always awesome to have a pet like this, right up until the day it decides to play too rough and kills somebody.
 
2012-06-14 12:14:25 PM  
27 stone, pfft. Tigers get twice that and then some. Can't wait for the follow up.
 
2012-06-14 12:16:22 PM  

FlashHarry: the whole point of that bit was that there are no tigers in africa. which is why one of them said, "it probably escaped from the zoo."


See, I always interpreted it that the authors thought there actually *are* tigers in Africa, so the joke was that all of these British dudes were ignorant of that fact and were shocked to hear about a tiger in Africa.
 
2012-06-14 12:22:17 PM  
So they're rich and stupid, this will end very well.

I must give them credit though, they didn't de-claw it or get its canines (they're still called canines in cats right?) filed down to make it "safer" to be around.
 
2012-06-14 12:32:20 PM  
i.dailymail.co.uk

joffey loves p*ssy?
 
2012-06-14 12:32:20 PM  

GooberMcFly: *bangs head on desk*


Hey, look at it this way: At least when they get torn open in a year or two, it'll be because they completely deserved it.
 
2012-06-14 12:43:14 PM  
This is what happens when the "dangerous animal guy" can upgrade from snakes to tigers.
 
2012-06-14 12:44:14 PM  
How do such dumbasses acquire such wealth?
 
2012-06-14 12:44:15 PM  
i.qkme.me

It's going to happen just like this.
 
2012-06-14 12:44:17 PM  
Looks like her facial reconstruction surgery went pretty well, all things considered, after the mauling.
 
2012-06-14 12:44:29 PM  
I agree this is pretty stupid, but I will give them credit for having all those dogs. Socializing a predatory animal like that will go a long way to minimizing the chances of it getting spooked when something goes bump in the night and eating them when they come home late.

/Still dumb
//Never own a pet that can kill you on a whim.
///Same goes for bigass dogs.
 
2012-06-14 12:44:58 PM  
i.dailymail.co.uk

"So? Deal with it."
 
2012-06-14 12:45:15 PM  
Meet the couple that is going to die violently in their sleep some day soon has more money than brains.

FTFY, subster.
 
2012-06-14 12:45:59 PM  
My bet's on the tiger taking offense to the husband doing it doggy-style and decides to join in, tiger-style.

With the backward-facing spines and all. That's the point, so to speak.

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20090120210201AAM1xiJ
 
2012-06-14 12:46:05 PM  
The tiger ate my baby.
 
2012-06-14 12:47:25 PM  
The real reason they deserve to die is that they have a pet tiger and didnt name him Hobbes.
 
2012-06-14 12:47:32 PM  
gilgigamesh: FlashHarry: the whole point of that bit was that there are no tigers in africa. which is why one of them said, "it probably escaped from the zoo."

See, I always interpreted it that the authors thought there actually *are* tigers in Africa, so the joke was that all of these British dudes were ignorant of that fact and were shocked to hear about a tiger in Africa.


Once in a while, something happens on Fark to remind why human interactions are so complicated. This is one of those times.
 
2012-06-14 12:48:09 PM  

littleray42: I agree this is pretty stupid, but I will give them credit for having all those dogs. Socializing a predatory animal like that will go a long way to minimizing the chances of it getting spooked when something goes bump in the night and eating them when they come home late.

/Still dumb
//Never own a pet that can kill you on a whim.
///Same goes for bigass dogs.


Freaking hell, 'stupid' doesn't even begin to describe this. More like, 'motherfarking balls-to-wall retarded.'
 
2012-06-14 12:49:08 PM  

Tigger: This ends exactly the same farking way every farking time.


My in-laws live on a farm in southern Ontario. One day some idiot buys a nearby farm and brings in some large cats(cougars and a panther IIRC). For a year or two everything is fine, then one day there's some squad cars and a bunch of animals services trucks are out front. Rumor was there wasn't much left to bury.
 
2012-06-14 12:50:32 PM  

littleray42: I agree this is pretty stupid, but I will give them credit for having all those dogs. Socializing a predatory animal like that will go a long way to minimizing the chances of it getting spooked when something goes bump in the night and eating them when they come home late.

/Still dumb
//Never own a pet that can kill you on a whim.
///Same goes for bigass dogs.


I was just at the San Diego Zoo and they had something like that. Apparently for a lot of their wildcats, they give them a lifelong dog companion to help keep them calm.
 
2012-06-14 12:50:56 PM  

littleray42: I agree this is pretty stupid, but I will give them credit for having all those dogs. Socializing a predatory animal like that will go a long way to minimizing the chances of it getting spooked when something goes bump in the night and eating them when they come home late.

/Still dumb
//Never own a pet that can kill you on a whim.
///Same goes for bigass dogs.


Even with big ass dogs... I think domestication is the key issue. I'd feel perfectly safe with a 160 lb Great Dane as a pet, or a 120 lb Newfie... but an 80 lb grey wolf, not so much. Hell, not even a 40 lb coyote.
 
2012-06-14 12:51:13 PM  
This is exactly like the woman who kept the chimpanzee till it reached adulthood, and then it promptly tore the face off her former friend. That's because chimps are wild animals, extremely powerful and violent.

I don't feel bad for these people. They're aggressively stupid. I actually feel bad for the dogs, because it is absolutely going to kill one or more one day.

There are profound behavioral differences between domesticated and wild animals, behaviors shaped over millenia of living with humans.
 
2012-06-14 12:51:19 PM  
Meet the couple cat food that is going to die violently in their sleep some day soon


FTFY, Subby
 
2012-06-14 12:51:34 PM  
Tigger [TotalFark]


Smartest
Funniest

2012-06-14 10:21:13 AM

gilgigamesh: FlashHarry: I_Am_Weasel: Sybarite: A tiger?!?

In Africa!

it probably escaped from the zoo.

The odd thing about that joke? There are no tigers in Africa. The are native to the Indian subcontinent. So if you saw one in Africa, it did escape from the zoo.

That was surprising. Monty Python is usually more intellectual than that.

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH.


there's nothing more dangerous than a wounded mosquito!
 
2012-06-14 12:53:18 PM  
I wonder what happens in that house if you start running the electric can opener
 
2012-06-14 12:53:53 PM  

Flappyhead: Tigger: This ends exactly the same farking way every farking time.

My in-laws live on a farm in southern Ontario. One day some idiot buys a nearby farm and brings in some large cats(cougars and a panther IIRC). For a year or two everything is fine, then one day there's some squad cars and a bunch of animals services trucks are out front. Rumor was there wasn't much left to bury.


What I find interesting about how these people die is that it doesn't always involve a predatory animal being all 'predator' like. And what I mean by that is, the death doesn't involve the animal stalking its 'prey,' and it didn't kill because it was hungry.

I've read many accounts of people who have dangerous animals as pets being 'victimized' (if you can call it that, since they willingly take on the risk) during a play session, or something similar, where the animal doesn't realize just how fragile we are compared to them.

Note, that doesn't stop the animal from eating its formerly alive owner after their demise.
 
2012-06-14 12:54:00 PM  
So apparently 27 stone = 378 pounds, 1 stone = 14 lbs.

Who the fark makes up these units of measure? Stick with MKS units, goddamnit!
 
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