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(ABC 27)   Arizona wants to promote dust storm safety by...c) writing haikus about them   (abc27.com) divider line 78
    More: Amusing, Secretary of Commerce, trauma surgeons, Arizona Department of Transportation, Japan Tsunami, Army Special Forces, Auburn University, Presidential Medal of Freedom, Marc Bulger  
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1641 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Jun 2012 at 5:32 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



78 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-06-14 12:02:56 AM
Driving down the road
everything Fudgesicle brown
I blame peyote
 
2012-06-14 12:04:18 AM
In Arizona
If it is brown turn around
You too, Mexicans
 
2012-06-14 12:08:54 AM
Don't be a newbie,
Beware the stinging hot sands,
Beware haboobie.
 
2012-06-14 12:12:01 AM
A state that stupid
Can't possibly understand
What a haiku is.
 
2012-06-14 12:12:58 AM
Stinging stinging eyes
stinging stinging stinging eyes
stinging stinging eyes
 
2012-06-14 12:14:27 AM
What is all this dust
Getting in my eyes, my mouth
Desert Bukkake
 
2012-06-14 12:22:16 AM
This can only be
From the dumb governor
Madame Leatherface
 
2012-06-14 12:26:58 AM
When haboobs arise
Seek shelter and go inside
Or we'll all be brown
 
2012-06-14 12:28:44 AM
It is an ill wind
A fart blowing vile foul dust
The Governor speaks
 
2012-06-14 12:37:02 AM
THIS THREAD IS ALREADY FULL OF WIN


Ambivalence: A state that stupid
Can't possibly understand
What a haiku is.


We're not all that dumb.
Just forty percent of us
Are drowned out by 'tards.
 
2012-06-14 12:43:30 AM
Rise, o desert dust
Blot out the sun and give cover
To kill Sheriff Joe
 
2012-06-14 12:48:26 AM

ecmoRandomNumbers: THIS THREAD IS ALREADY FULL OF WIN

Ambivalence: A state that stupid
Can't possibly understand
What a haiku is.

We're not all that dumb.
Just forty percent of us
Are drowned out by 'tards.


You need water wings
And maybe a sump pump
To suck out the dumb.
 
2012-06-14 01:14:25 AM
Sheriff Joe, help me
Says the blue haired, scared
- I pity the dust
 
2012-06-14 01:23:12 AM
Do not send your poor
And do not send your hungry
Send us more Snowbirds
 
2012-06-14 01:24:02 AM
Something about dust
Seven syllables go here
More stuff about dust
 
2012-06-14 01:25:17 AM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Do not send your poor
And do not send your hungry
Send us more Snowbirds


Oh snap. That's a shot to the 'nads.
 
2012-06-14 01:29:00 AM

Nadie_AZ: MaudlinMutantMollusk: Do not send your poor
And do not send your hungry
Send us more Snowbirds

Oh snap. That's a shot to the 'nads.


Sorry

/low hanging fruit, etc
 
2012-06-14 02:05:27 AM
Don't go for a ride
When there's a dust storm outside
Just stay home and hide
 
2012-06-14 02:12:35 AM
There's dust in the wind
And it's not Kansas, Toto
This place is much worse
 
2012-06-14 02:18:41 AM
We now know the truth:
They weren't kidding when they said,
"Arizona blows"
 
2012-06-14 02:19:48 AM
No, I think Ambivalence is right. I keep setting out to write a haiku and ending up with a limerick.
 
2012-06-14 02:24:26 AM
Nothing to see here
Just some 'Cans getting stepped on
By Joe Arpaio


/is "stepped" two syllables or one?
 
2012-06-14 02:36:50 AM

violentsalvation: No, I think Ambivalence is right. I keep setting out to write a haiku and ending up with a limerick.


There once was a gov named Brewer
Who sent her state down the sewer
She made life a fright
For those who aren't white
She's a bigoted, hateful witch -- screw 'er
 
2012-06-14 03:03:12 AM

Lorelle: violentsalvation: No, I think Ambivalence is right. I keep setting out to write a haiku and ending up with a limerick.

There once was a gov named Brewer
Who sent her state down the sewer
She made life a fright
For those who aren't white
She's a bigoted, hateful witch -- screw 'er



Governor Brewer
No sober man could screw her
Face of Ark-Viewer

??
 
2012-06-14 05:38:19 AM
When you live in a state named Error Zone A...
 
2012-06-14 05:40:01 AM
This thread reminds me
That I'm terrible
At writing haikus
 
2012-06-14 06:03:46 AM
Beautiful canyon.
Dust storms whisper silently,
"This state is so lame."

-daniel "scissorhands" san
 
2012-06-14 06:06:04 AM
This Fark thread will use
Every dust meme except
"It's dusty in here"
 
2012-06-14 06:15:09 AM
What the dusty f*ck
Is wrong with these folks' wits, huh?
'Zona sucks dirtwind.
 
2012-06-14 06:17:38 AM
All it is is dust
Dust in the wind all it is
is dust in the wind
 
2012-06-14 06:21:00 AM
Yet this would still be
The least stupid use I've seen
For English haiku.
 
2012-06-14 06:22:27 AM
An Arizona Story.
Have no fear.
Farks racists will come forth.
 
2012-06-14 06:41:24 AM
Write dust storm haikus
Has Arizona gone nuts?
Drew, where is its tag?
 
2012-06-14 06:48:14 AM
Wake and open Fark
Whoa, do my eyes deceive me?
No, a haiku thread.

Clever minds all work
Synapses firing quite fast
A snark convention.

Smoke begins to rise
Smell of burning rubber now
Flame licks from my ears.

I can not brain now
Overloaded wibble slip
No umbrella bonk....
 
2012-06-14 06:51:39 AM
But it's a dry heat
Exfoliation is free
It's Jake Plummer's year!
 
2012-06-14 06:52:54 AM

NobleHam: Yet this would still be
The least stupid use I've seen
For English haiku.


I would hope that you
Have some examples for us
So that we may laugh

Cubansaltyballs: /is "stepped" two syllables or one?


It depends upon
Whether you say it "step-ped"
Or "stepped" like the rest
 
2012-06-14 06:56:55 AM
It's windy and dry
sand will blow up to the sky
then it will kill you



//I love a haiku thread.
 
2012-06-14 07:01:49 AM

Pocket Ninja: Stinging stinging eyes
stinging stinging stinging eyes
stinging stinging eyes


That one got me laughing!
Sometimes simplicity is best.
This is not a haiku.
 
2012-06-14 07:03:29 AM
Wow. A whole state dependent on retirement money from the senile.
Looks like the Navajo are going to get their land back after all.
 
2012-06-14 07:07:42 AM
I see the brown sand.
How to guard ourselves from it?
Build a border fence.
 
2012-06-14 07:28:00 AM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Do not send your poor
And do not send your hungry
Send us more Snowbirds


A retort in haiku form:

That prose was written
Before the introduction
Of the welfare state
 
2012-06-14 07:45:37 AM

svenge: MaudlinMutantMollusk: Do not send your poor
And do not send your hungry
Send us more Snowbirds

A retort in haiku form:

That prose was written
Before the introduction
Of the welfare state


Yep. The Navajo are DEFINITELY getting their land back.
Stupid don't live long in the desert.
 
2012-06-14 07:52:16 AM
What the fark is wrong
With you? Why the fark are you
in Arizona?
 
2012-06-14 08:06:21 AM

jso2897: Wow. A whole state dependent on retirement money from the senile.
Looks like the Navajo are going to get their land back after all.


"We are the natives"
comes the cry from the sun screened
trailer park porches
 
2012-06-14 08:06:24 AM

www.forumgarden.com
 
2012-06-14 08:13:49 AM
What did the pyjamas
Look like? I don't know they were
Jammies - they had Yodas and shiat
On them.
 
2012-06-14 08:13:53 AM
When life gets you down
Some Arizona eye-sand
won't make it better
 
2012-06-14 08:15:24 AM
Sandy vaginas
Caked by the wind abrade
Owie ow ow
 
2012-06-14 08:17:25 AM
I'm pretty sure Drew
Added the Funny button
For threads just like these
 
2012-06-14 08:29:30 AM
What is a haiku?
Should I be rhyming something?
This is weird. I'm out.
 
2012-06-14 08:30:00 AM
To be fair, there are lots of idiots out there who think they should continue driving when visibility reaches almost zero.
 
2012-06-14 08:31:25 AM
I get in the thread
I write a couple haiku
everybody leaves

/ :(
 
2012-06-14 08:35:35 AM
I've never writen
a haiku in my whole life.
Did I get it right?
 
2012-06-14 08:38:30 AM
For Arizona:
Haboob doesn't drive taxis!
Racists and snowbirds
 
2012-06-14 08:40:11 AM
Haboobs excite me,
and by haboobs I mean boobs,
oh how I love boobs.
 
2012-06-14 08:41:51 AM
Haboobs are funny
The word 'boob' is right in there
Boobies boobies boobs
 
2012-06-14 08:49:46 AM
Heat, sand, and dust storms
And Sheriff Joe lives here too
It sucks to live here.
 
2012-06-14 08:52:04 AM
OK, I'll try:

Dust storms are dangerous! Don't go out in them you stupid Fark!

How'd I do?
 
2012-06-14 08:58:24 AM
Haikus can be fun
though some don't make any sense
Refrigerator
 
2012-06-14 08:59:18 AM
Oh, Arizona
Fark you in your dusty ass
Bless me, Ultima
 
2012-06-14 09:00:03 AM
Mommy I'm thirsty
Hush now little patriot
All we need are guns.
 
2012-06-14 09:07:02 AM
all women haboobs
it must be nice to haboobs
I'm glad they haboobs
 
2012-06-14 09:14:18 AM
Dust in my coffee
Choking on the chalky grit
God I hate this state
 
2012-06-14 09:41:44 AM
Haboob is a word
That only dirty brown folk
Are allowed to use
 
2012-06-14 09:59:16 AM
Arizona is a
Great place to live, so long as
You never live there.
 
2012-06-14 10:08:51 AM

farkityfarker: To be fair, there are lots of idiots out there who think they should continue driving when visibility reaches almost zero.


And there are even more who don't understand that when you pull over, you need to turn your lights off and take your foot off the brakes.
 
2012-06-14 10:10:09 AM

durbnpoisn: That one got me laughing!
Sometimes simplicity is best.
This is not a haiku.


That one made me laugh.
The simple, often is best.
This *is* a haiku.
 
2012-06-14 10:20:49 AM
Yes, Arizona
Is a dry kind of stupid
And has sandstorms, duh.
 
2012-06-14 10:25:23 AM
Rocks, sand, wind, Summer
Who could love such a harsh place?
A Geologist
 
2012-06-14 10:26:58 AM
My cheek
she says
feels smooth as satin
Ha! Ha! says he
that's mine your pattin'
Burma-Shave
 
2012-06-14 10:32:33 AM
the best word, Haboob.
Say Haboob, Haboob, Haboob!
Haboob, Haboob, boob.
 
2012-06-14 10:49:33 AM
wind and sand unite
please crush the stupid quickly
leave no one alive
 
2012-06-14 10:51:50 AM

The My Little Pony Killer: What is all this dust
Getting in my eyes, my mouth
Desert Bukkake


Desert Bukkake is the greatest thing I have read today. Thanks.
 
2012-06-14 10:53:58 AM
You silly clowns
It's not just sand out here
Forty percent forest!

Guv'nor haikus bore
Arpaio ones do too
Get original

//got nuthin and don't usually do haikus... obviously
 
2012-06-14 11:29:49 AM
This thread fell apart
I had great hope this morning
I am disappoint
 
2012-06-14 12:17:53 PM

offacue: This thread fell apart
I had great hope this morning
I am disappoint


I agree fully
Came expecting lots of wit
Leaving rather sad.
 
2012-06-14 12:45:32 PM
shiat gets in my pool
And then I have to clean it
Cocksucking haboob!
 
2012-06-15 12:06:36 AM
Hey ya whining sods
Get your sh*t together
write some haikus, man!
 
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