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(Onion AV Club)   So: How much does a "Lone Ranger" movie cost? Build a wild west town, throw in a few horses... can't run more than a quarter-billion dollars, right?   (avclub.com) divider line 120
    More: Asinine, Gore Verbinski, Lone Ranger, shooting schedules, studio executive, Ugh!, World War Z  
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5015 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 14 Jun 2012 at 4:54 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-06-13 09:30:25 PM
Why is a dead crow on Tonto's head?
 
2012-06-13 11:56:35 PM
Depends... let's add them all together and divide by the number of times the frikkin movie has been made or remade

/the Lone Average
 
2012-06-14 12:00:31 AM

BarkingUnicorn: Why is a dead crow on Tonto's head?


that is what johnny depp's head looks like in real life ...
 
2012-06-14 12:09:13 AM
I'm pretty dubious about a movie by Gore Verbinski starring Johnny Depp that's based on an antiquated, somewhat campy concept that was popular in the black-and-white movie days.

Just doesn't sound like it could work.
 
2012-06-14 12:11:06 AM
Fun fact: no two Star Wars movies totaled $250 million in budget.
 
2012-06-14 12:17:03 AM
Sound familar...
upload.wikimedia.org
 
2012-06-14 12:18:07 AM

timharrod: Fun fact: no two Star Wars movies totaled $250 million in budget.


because they used special effects rather than build a real death star ?
 
2012-06-14 12:19:17 AM
The Lone Rangers?
 
2012-06-14 12:29:42 AM

cameroncrazy1984: The Lone Rangers?


For all America cares, this movie could be Johnny Depp farting on a snare drum.
 
2012-06-14 12:33:04 AM
FTA: refuses to make any more artistic sacrifices, and is thus asking his team to "construct its own locomotives from scratch," rather than using existing, off-the-rack trains.

That's code for "Disney made me cast Johnny Depp as a farkin' Indian.
 
2012-06-14 12:46:51 AM
I get that the Lone Ranger is a legendary character.

But we are not talking about a superhero here.

No exploding planet to rocket from. No special car to drive. No WWII to fight. No Intergalactic Invasion.

A man in a a mask, his Indian buddy, in the southwest on a horses.

Hell, they didn't even try to spend the money on a real Native American-they got a farking white boy!
 
2012-06-14 01:56:57 AM
It's funny how expensive it is to build something that looks like a bunch of hillbillies built it with no power tools at their disposal.

It's sort of like how we used to feed lobster to the poor, and now it costs a lot of money to eat lobsters.
 
2012-06-14 01:58:53 AM

jaylectricity: It's funny how expensive it is to build something that looks like a bunch of hillbillies built it with no power tools at their disposal.

It's sort of like how we used to feed lobster to the poor, and now it costs a lot of money to eat lobsters.


Hillbillies don't use $100.00 an hour labor
 
2012-06-14 02:01:34 AM

BarkingUnicorn: Why is a dead crow on Tonto's head?


People laugh about that picture but it's actually a pretty accurate representation of a Dakota Indian. Here's an old painting of one.

mendotadakota.com
 
2012-06-14 03:46:31 AM
mendotadakota.com

What do you mean. wee white man?
 
2012-06-14 05:27:44 AM

BarkingUnicorn: Why is a dead crow on Tonto's head?


Because your argument is invalid?
 
2012-06-14 05:28:46 AM

timharrod: Fun fact: no two Star Wars movies totaled $250 million in budget.


Too bad they didn't pony up the extra dough to get a decent screenwriter onboard.
 
2012-06-14 05:31:26 AM
Piracy is the biggest problem Hollywood is facing. Riiiiight.
 
2012-06-14 05:47:40 AM
roarvis.files.wordpress.com
Shame on casting a white man as a Native American...
 
2012-06-14 05:55:02 AM

doglover: Piracy is the biggest problem Hollywood is facing. Riiiiight.


What's your point? That they should be happy to spend hundreds of millions of dollars on a product and give it away for free?

As for TFA, this is a publicity stunt. The last movies Johnny Depp, this director, and these writers collaborated on cost nearly $600 million dollars combined and made billions for Disney. They're still playing with profits.

Disney is leaking this out because they want people to think, "Holy shiat, if they're spending this much, it must be better than Pirates."

Fox did the same shiat with Titanic and Avatar.
 
2012-06-14 06:34:19 AM

stoli n coke: doglover: Piracy is the biggest problem Hollywood is facing. Riiiiight.

What's your point? That they should be happy to spend hundreds of millions of dollars on a product and give it away for free?


No. He's arguing that the absolutely stupefying amount of money being used to produce a film that could be (and has been) made for a fraction of that is highly indicative of an industry that does not have its financial priorities straight. If you have a quarter BILLION to blow on a western, then the claims that piracy is crippling your industry are highly suspect.
 
2012-06-14 06:38:39 AM

Darth_Lukecash: I get that the Lone Ranger is a legendary character.

But we are not talking about a superhero here.

No exploding planet to rocket from. No special car to drive. No WWII to fight. No Intergalactic Invasion.

A man in a a mask, his Indian buddy, in the southwest on a horses.

Hell, they didn't even try to spend the money on a real Native American-they got a farking white boy!


I'm sure it'll be tarted up with lots of supernatural trappings, as well as some
of that there steampunky stuff that the focus groups seem to like.

Maybe even a steam powered spider robot.
 
2012-06-14 06:41:46 AM
Talking pies are expensive.
 
2012-06-14 06:45:23 AM

BarkingUnicorn: Why is a dead crow on Tonto's head?


I read that as "dead cow" for some reason...

There must be plenty of old movie ranches outside LA that would be happy to be used as a set. I bet there are even ones where Manson didn't live. Or they could use the old fake Rock Ridge set:
i2.listal.com
 
2012-06-14 06:52:06 AM
Was there anybody sitting around and thinking, "Golly, I really wish some movie studio would make a Lone Ranger movie?"

No.

The same thing happened with John Carter. Nobody wanted that movie.

Then Disney spent $250 million to cram it down our throats.

And it bombed.

I know Depp and Verbinski made a lot of money by hoodwinking people into seeing some really shiatty movies about a gay pirate, but they got lucky with the first movie (which was enjoyable and didn't have the $250 million budget) and turned it into a franchise.

The Lone Ranger franchise has been dead in the water for 50 years. Nobody is going to go see this movie.
 
2012-06-14 06:56:39 AM

BarkingUnicorn: Why is a dead crow on Tonto's head?


To invalidate your argument.
 
2012-06-14 06:57:27 AM
Not sure what's asinine about it.
 
2012-06-14 07:15:49 AM

calufrax: [roarvis.files.wordpress.com image 279x346]
Shame on casting a white man as a Native American...


Depp is part Native American, like Obama is part white, see how that works?
 
2012-06-14 07:16:10 AM
came for Rock Ridge pic.

leaving happy.
 
2012-06-14 07:24:12 AM

calufrax: [roarvis.files.wordpress.com image 279x346]
Shame on casting a white man as a Native American...


I'm gonna bite, You do know Iron Eyes Cody was Italian right?
 
2012-06-14 07:27:41 AM

walrusonion: calufrax: [roarvis.files.wordpress.com image 279x346]
Shame on casting a white man as a Native American...

I'm gonna bite, You do know Iron Eyes Cody was Italian right?


thatsthejoke.jpg
 
2012-06-14 07:41:09 AM

BarkingUnicorn: Why is a dead crow on Tonto's head?


Because Nicholas Cage wasn't available.

/Actually, that works either way around.
 
2012-06-14 07:47:22 AM

Snatch Bandergrip: stoli n coke: doglover: Piracy is the biggest problem Hollywood is facing. Riiiiight.

What's your point? That they should be happy to spend hundreds of millions of dollars on a product and give it away for free?

No. He's arguing that the absolutely stupefying amount of money being used to produce a film that could be (and has been) made for a fraction of that is highly indicative of an industry that does not have its financial priorities straight. If you have a quarter BILLION to blow on a western, then the claims that piracy is crippling your industry are highly suspect.


Film budgets haven't really escalated much since the late 90s, with the exception of more stars demanding 25-30 million dollars a picture.

Studios also realize that the movie going audience is always wanting bigger, louder, and grander spectacles, something they've known since Cecil B. DeMille parted the Red Sea and had confirmed as recently as The Avengers.

Thus, summer productions like this have become expensive. However, adjusted for inflation, even $250 million is not the most money Hollywood has gambled. If it was made in today's dollars, Cleopatra would have cost more than $300 million.

That all being said, why shouldn't the studios be mad at piracy? They're putting up all the dough and taking all the risk. Does that justify some bloated jagoff from trying to see it without paying for a ticket?

How is that not different from gate-crashing a concert or sneaking into an NFL game? Are the teams wrong for hiring security guards to stop that from happening?

Hollywood does not owe people entertainment, no matter how much the keyboard warriors try to justify it.
 
2012-06-14 07:49:18 AM
(from the CSB dept.)
I'm running a program for 11 students on the Navajo Nation this summer that requires me to drive us around a lot, so I needto rent a 15-passenger van for a month. The group is meeting up in Albuquerque, where I'd normally get the van. Because the movie is being shot nearby, however (and they've rented every van within hours of ABQ), I have to fly into Durango, CO to get a van and then drive it all the way to ABQ to pick up the group.
Pan to close-up of me muttering "goddamnitsomuch" and kicking at the dirt in frustration.
 
2012-06-14 07:53:33 AM
Danger Will Robinson....Danger...


//oh wait, they've already done that one.
///Still, they should heed the warning.
 
2012-06-14 08:09:34 AM

cameroncrazy1984: The Lone Rangers?


That's original. How can you pluralize "Lone Ranger"?
 
2012-06-14 08:11:00 AM

stoli n coke:

That all being said, why shouldn't the studios be mad at piracy? They're putting up all the dough and taking all the risk. Does that justify some bloated jagoff from trying to see it without paying for a ticket?
.


Never fear - I won't be seeing this, with or without a ticket. I've been waiting for something to replace "Heaven's Gate" as the biggest Hollywood moneypit for 22 years now. Whatever these guys are going to be mourning after release, it's not likely to be pirating. There will be more copies of old "Veggietales" snatched of the net than this bloated horrorshow.
 
2012-06-14 08:12:50 AM

cmunic8r99: came for Rock Ridge pic.

leaving happy.


"Somebody's gotta see this movie and pay a shiatload of dimes!"
 
2012-06-14 08:21:48 AM

Onkel Buck: calufrax: [roarvis.files.wordpress.com image 279x346]
Shame on casting a white man as a Native American...

Depp is part Native American, like Obama is part white, see how that works?


They wanted Elizabeth Warren for the part but she wasn't available, so they went with Depp.
 
2012-06-14 08:35:27 AM

Darth_Lukecash: Hell, they didn't even try to spend the money on a real Native American-they got a farking white boy!


www.world-art.ru
Stupid farking white man.
 
2012-06-14 08:37:37 AM

Paris1127: BarkingUnicorn: Why is a dead crow on Tonto's head?

I read that as "dead cow" for some reason...

There must be plenty of old movie ranches outside LA that would be happy to be used as a set. I bet there are even ones where Manson didn't live. Or they could use the old fake Rock Ridge set:
[i2.listal.com image 500x338]


Could be the old sets falling into disrepair or being too recognizable. Maybe they're building it with future films in mind. I wonder how many films they'll have to lease it to in order to get their money back, because they're not going to get it from ticket sales for Lone Ranger, even with Depp.

Did they cast Depp as Tonto because there's some bilaw in the SAG rules that says there must be at least one Depp film in play at all times or no less than three movies starring Depp per year?

/Depp
 
2012-06-14 08:46:42 AM

Zombie Eater: Did they cast Depp as Tonto because there's some bilaw in the SAG rules that says there must be at least one Depp film in play at all times or no less than three movies starring Depp per year?


Not after Dark Shadows.
 
2012-06-14 08:47:19 AM

stoli n coke: Why shouldn't the studios be mad at piracy? They're putting up all the dough and taking all the risk. Does that justify some bloated jagoff from trying to see it without paying for a ticket?


I agree with you that people deserve to be paid for their efforts. I don't pirate my entertainment; piracy hurts the people that aren't millionaires more than the people that are.

But Hollywood really tests my sympathy when they rely so heavily on sequels/remakes/reboots and then turn around and accuse others of piracy. And worse, support political policies like SOPA and PIPA, which go far beyond protecting intellectual property and seek to outright impinge on First Amendment rights. Don't complain that people are trying to take money out of your already deep pockets while you endorse policy that suppresses free speech.

John Carter bombed because no one wanted to see it. It did not bomb because of piracy.
 
2012-06-14 08:51:24 AM
They should just cut their losses and say they weren't making a Lone Ranger movie, but rather trying to adapt "A Confederacy of Dunces." Everbody would understand, then, if they just stopped production ASAP.
 
2012-06-14 08:51:45 AM
I don't see this ending well, partially because I don't see the benefit in blowing all of this money on a character with limited appeal. Hollywood appeals to the younger filmgoer, and pushing a character whose heyday was a century ago seems very limited. Sure, this could awaken a resurgence in the license and character...but I wouldn't bet a quarter of a billion dollars on that. Especially since production has been going on for-farking-ever.
 
2012-06-14 08:52:12 AM
Not a single movie in the history of mankind has suffered because of piracy. Name me a single flick above some indie $2 arthouse film that has actually lost any significant amount of money due to piracy.

Here's a tip: there are none. Dozens of studies by multiple countries have shown that piracy actually increases sales for the product whether the product is a film, a game, a book, or even cartoon porn. Piracy isn't killing Hollywood, it's supporting it - what's costing Hollywood money is the $250,000,000 price tag on John Carter and Lone Ranger.
 
2012-06-14 08:52:51 AM

Paris1127: BarkingUnicorn: Why is a dead crow on Tonto's head?

I read that as "dead cow" for some reason...

There must be plenty of old movie ranches outside LA that would be happy to be used as a set. I bet there are even ones where Manson didn't live. Or they could use the old fake Rock Ridge set:
[i2.listal.com image 500x338]


Per IMBD.com, Blazing Saddles was made for $2.6 million in 1976. That's probably about $12-15 million in today's dollars. It's made $120 million. I seriously doubt this new Lone Ranger movie will be able to pull in that kind of ROI.
 
2012-06-14 08:53:15 AM
This abomination is having to cut back to $250 million and custom-building trains, but meanwhile the Buckaroo Banzai franchise is just out there, waiting to be rescued by Judd Apatow and Jon Hamm. There's justice for you.
 
2012-06-14 08:56:23 AM

Snatch Bandergrip: stoli n coke: Why shouldn't the studios be mad at piracy? They're putting up all the dough and taking all the risk. Does that justify some bloated jagoff from trying to see it without paying for a ticket?

I agree with you that people deserve to be paid for their efforts. I don't pirate my entertainment; piracy hurts the people that aren't millionaires more than the people that are.

But Hollywood really tests my sympathy when they rely so heavily on sequels/remakes/reboots and then turn around and accuse others of piracy. And worse, support political policies like SOPA and PIPA, which go far beyond protecting intellectual property and seek to outright impinge on First Amendment rights. Don't complain that people are trying to take money out of your already deep pockets while you endorse policy that suppresses free speech.

John Carter bombed because no one wanted to see it. It did not bomb because of piracy.


John Carter bombed because it was terribly marketed. It was actually a pretty good movie.
 
2012-06-14 09:01:59 AM
jayhawk88

This abomination is having to cut back to $250 million and custom-building trains, but meanwhile the Buckaroo Banzai franchise is just out there, waiting to be rescued by Judd Apatow and Jon Hamm. There's justice for you.



Way too late for a Buckaroo Banzai reboot.....which is unfortunate.

/laugh a while you can, monkey-boy.
 
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