I agree to not be gay. Where's my macbook?

If I stop jacking off to tranny porn, will someone buy me a new iPad?

LOOK ID BE STRAIGHT IF *SHE* farkING CLALED ME
OTHERWISE IM GONNA MSTURBATE IN BED ALONE
GO fark YOURSELF MOMMA

theflatline: faker than hell, especially in Culver city where they probably suck cocks before they are weaned if they are gay.

Are people really oblivious to the fact that, these days, many boys ARE doing this by choice? I'm not even suggesting there's anything wrong with it, but parents of teens who don't think this is the case need to ask their teens. Bisexualism is very popular with today's teens. There's nothing wrong with being gay, but there are most certainly guys out there that do it strictly for the thrill. Either way... "gay", "man and woman", whatever - it's all just social conditioning. Humans didn't come with a rule book - humans are the ones who say there's something strange about being gay. Thankfully, it's fewer and fewer humans saying this each day.

/not gay
//not bi

You got trolled because your blog sucks.

Satan's Dumptruck Driver: Not to stray too far off topic, but you know Larry the Cable Guy is a character that comedian Daniel Lawrence Whitney made up, right?

Tell that to nutrisystem. Dan didn't lift one fat finger.

serial_crusher: I'm calling fake on this. Anybody who makes enough money to be able to afford a mac book is surely also smart enough to realize that posting the phrase "I don't want to get a ton of messages from you guys" on Craigslist is an invitation to get flamed, regardless of how stupid the thing you say after it is.

But, pretending it's serious:
1) Depending on the kid's age, she should be offended that he's involved in any sexual activity.
2) If he's old enough to be having sexual activity, he's old enough to go get a job and buy his own damned computer.
3) He's just going to take that laptop into his room and look at some very very high definition gay porn.

Hate to point this out but the fact that Apple can come out with a new macbook every year and only change some minor specification on it while destroying backwards compatibility on purpose... all while the same people line up around the block and go deeper into debt for a toy.

Based on that I would say no - they aren't smart enough to realize anything.

Oh. My God. Who the hell cares

JasonOfOrillia: 180IQ: Isn't using/wanting a MacBook homosexual activity?

I laughed but I think that counts as anti-Apple bigotry.

/all to common in this debauched age.

yeah laughed too, lmfao but agree.. farking hateful!


/still laughing

Well, as I heard the other day, if you don't have a mac, you're just uncool....and possibly POOR.

Pray 4 Mojo: You got trolled because your blog sucks.

^this

"A Macbook? Really? Mom, I think I'd rather gargle chowder."

bingethinker: Hell, for one of those new MacBooks, I might START homosexual activity.

/oops, did I say that out loud?

How you doin;?

aedude01: Genevieve Marie: SphericalTime: Lots of stupid bigots make tons of money. Larry the Cable guy?

In all fairness, Larry the Cable Guy is a character. The comedian himself actually doesn't seem to be a complete moron when he's not in character.

He figured out to make a lot of money off of very dumb people and I begrudgingly admire that.

A few years ago you used to be able to find/google videos of him out of the "Larry" character performing in comedy clubs. He's actually a pretty intelligent fellow.

That's the odd part - rednecks don't actually realize he's making fun of them, and have, in fact, embraced his characters as if it was him. They just can't make the separation between his character and, well, him.

Imagine AARP embracing Jeff Dunham because he has a senior citizen ventriloquist dummy named Walter. That's what it's like.

If he goes bi, Mom buys him a new iPad as a consolation.

Genevieve Marie: SphericalTime: Lots of stupid bigots make tons of money. Larry the Cable guy?

In all fairness, Larry the Cable Guy is a character. The comedian himself actually doesn't seem to be a complete moron when he's not in character.

He figured out to make a lot of money off of very dumb people and I begrudgingly admire that.

It's more than a bit classist to equate the ability to switch vernaculars with intelligence. Is Dolly Parton a complete moron? James Carville? Snoop Dogg?
Lots of Larry the Cable Guy's fans are in on the joke. They're not all very dumb people, some just possess a self-deprecating wit.
Now, back to the thread about judging people 'cause they ain't what we think they should be.

bingethinker: Hell, for one of those new MacBooks, I might START homosexual activity.

/oops, did I say that out loud?

word. exactly this.

wellreadneck: Now, back to the thread about judging people 'cause they ain't what we think they should be.

Like Mommy Pray The Gay Away?

He'll never go back to homosexual acts once he sees gay pornography on a Retina display.

Lots and lots of people experiment with lots and lots of sex stuff - especially when they are relieved of the burdens of work and purpose. (i.e. They're restless and bored) I knew a bunch of gals in HS who weren't ever going to be lesbians for life, but who found each other's erotic company suitable. They explained it as an extension of being 'friends', with all the ups and downs that that implies. None of them were hormonally over-the-moon with each other, but they liked to give and get orgasms, and they liked the intimacy that being physically close gave them. One of them later described it as a 'holding pattern' - several of the girls weren't allowed to date or be unsupervised with boys, but would be left alone for hours with each other.

All of them eventually went on to be very heterosexual women.

JonnyG: Are people really oblivious to the fact that, these days, many boys ARE doing this by choice? I'm not even suggesting there's anything wrong with it, but parents of teens who don't think this is the case need to ask their teens. Bisexualism is very popular with today's teens. There's nothing wrong with being gay, but there are most certainly guys out there that do it strictly for the thrill. Either way... "gay", "man and woman", whatever - it's all just social conditioning. Humans didn't come with a rule book - humans are the ones who say there's something strange about being gay. Thankfully, it's fewer and fewer humans saying this each day.

/not gay
//not bi

Do you have anything to back this up? I mean... anything at all? Gotta be blunt, my whole family is a bunch of Irish Catholic Marines and Soldiers... being gay wasn't exactly a popular choice when I figured it out... I mean, I have straight friends, and no... nobody's saying "lets go be gay for the thrill of it"... I have bi friends who have had deep and meaningful relationships with people of either gender, but again even they seem constantly torn and tend to be rather timid about it. I mean, make no mistake about it, there's nothing "popular" or easy about coming out... the suicide rates for gay teens are extraordinarily high, they deal with getting bullied not just by peers, but by their own parents in many cases... the idea that it would be such a light and frilly choice seems just absurd to me.

/the fact you feel the need to state your sexual orientation in this thread tells everyone all they need to know about it.

That is just abominable behavior. I'm shocked and disgusted that an adult could act so unconscionably. This person deserves to be shipped to an island. They're not fit to live in civilized society Selling a used MacBook that close to list price? Horrible.

Genevieve Marie: And for what it's worth, I enjoy every single one of my Apple products. They are shiny, and fun, and they all work together very well.

yeah they're TOTALLY GAY with each other but they're also pricey

This wouldn't be a problem is there wasn't so much pornography in this world.

Let's face it folks, we're becoming a nation of perverts and pedophiles. Every single one of you who has ever browsed Satan's internet is responsible for the death of our purity and the rise of unclean sexual practices like masturbation, sodomy, etc...

Pornography feeds lust of the eyes and lust of the flesh, which are never satisfied. It leaves the viewer craving more and more in order to achieve the same "sexual high." It easily enslaves people to their own cravings and opens the door to other forms of evil, like anger, abuse, violence, hatred, lying, envy, compulsiveness and selfishness. The power behind porn is revealed when the porn addict tries to stop their habit - it is virtually impossible without help.

Pornography sexualizes the viewer's mindset. It warps and perverts their perspective such that sex is unnaturally elevated in their thoughts. Porn's images are stamped into viewer's brain with the aid of hormones released during sexual arousal. Even if a person decides to stop looking at porn, the past images can remain for years or even a lifetime.

Pornography intensifies an individual's drive to serve oneself, rather than serve others. For example, masturbation, which typically accompanies looking at pornography reinforces a self-centered sexual orientation (i.e. lust), which can detract from a person's ability to give and receive love.

Looking at porn will increase the viewer's tendency to lie, because he or she will have a natural desire to keep it secret to avoid criticism, embarrassment, shame and/or having to surrender their habit.

Remember this the next time you turn out the lights, grab the tissues, and ejaculate all over the memory of what was once a proud people.

Jim_Tressel's_O-Face: wellreadneck: Now, back to the thread about judging people 'cause they ain't what we think they should be.

Like Mommy Pray The Gay Away?

Nope, actual redneck. My family goes to one of those "Bible-to-the-forehead-foul-cock-sucking-demon-come-out" kind of churches.

(My hillbilly parents are cool with my homosexuality, have been since '79.)

Yuri Futanari: This wouldn't be a problem is there wasn't so much pornography in this world.

hahahaha

Yuri Futanari: This wouldn't be a problem is there wasn't so much pornography in this world.

Let's face it folks, we're becoming a nation of perverts and pedophiles. Every single one of you who has ever browsed Satan's internet is responsible for the death of our purity and the rise of unclean sexual practices like masturbation, sodomy, etc...

Pornography feeds lust of the eyes and lust of the flesh, which are never satisfied. It leaves the viewer craving more and more in order to achieve the same "sexual high." It easily enslaves people to their own cravings and opens the door to other forms of evil, like anger, abuse, violence, hatred, lying, envy, compulsiveness and selfishness. The power behind porn is revealed when the porn addict tries to stop their habit - it is virtually impossible without help.

Pornography sexualizes the viewer's mindset. It warps and perverts their perspective such that sex is unnaturally elevated in their thoughts. Porn's images are stamped into viewer's brain with the aid of hormones released during sexual arousal. Even if a person decides to stop looking at porn, the past images can remain for years or even a lifetime.

Pornography intensifies an individual's drive to serve oneself, rather than serve others. For example, masturbation, which typically accompanies looking at pornography reinforces a self-centered sexual orientation (i.e. lust), which can detract from a person's ability to give and receive love.

Looking at porn will increase the viewer's tendency to lie, because he or she will have a natural desire to keep it secret to avoid criticism, embarrassment, shame and/or having to surrender their habit.

Remember this the next time you turn out the lights, grab the tissues, and ejaculate all over the memory of what was once a proud people.

It's not Pocket Ninja but it'll do.

*fap fap fap*

rubi_con_man: Lots and lots of people experiment with lots and lots of sex stuff - especially when they are relieved of the burdens of work and purpose. (i.e. They're restless and bored) I knew a bunch of gals in HS who weren't ever going to be lesbians for life, but who found each other's erotic company suitable. They explained it as an extension of being 'friends', with all the ups and downs that that implies. None of them were hormonally over-the-moon with each other, but they liked to give and get orgasms, and they liked the intimacy that being physically close gave them. One of them later described it as a 'holding pattern' - several of the girls weren't allowed to date or be unsupervised with boys, but would be left alone for hours with each other.

All of them eventually went on to be very heterosexual women.

You're going to need to go into a bit more detail on that story.

they don't tell his age so i'm assuming under 17-18 too young for sex. why are they doing this to the poor kid

Hell, I'd give up all sexual activity for a month or two if it got me a new macbook (well, aside from alone time). And then I'd sell it new and buy something a quarter the price. It's too bad Apple's practically the only company making bleeding edge technology anymore, the rest of the OEMs seem unwilling to even break the $1000 barrier.

Sygonus: I'm going to go out on a limb here and say this is a clever troll...

Nonsense, who would joke about something as serious as GAYS and APPLE on the internets???

JonnyG: Are people really oblivious to the fact that, these days, many boys ARE doing this by choice? I'm not even suggesting there's anything wrong with it, but parents of teens who don't think this is the case need to ask their teens. Bisexualism is very popular with today's teens.

Err... wat?
We've known for a long time that sexuality exists on a spectrum. It has ALWAYS been the case that lots of people are open to both homosexual and heterosexual "activities", some more, some less, and some not at all. It may be more acceptable to talk about now, but I really think it has always been this way. I don't care if all the popular kids are doing it, there is no conceivable way for me not to find the idea of fooling around with another guy to be repulsive, and I assume that there are gay guys who feel the same way about women. I really don't think it is something that people do just because it is popular; either you're open to it or you're not.

Genevieve Marie: wellreadneck: Genevieve Marie: SphericalTime:
... except that Larry the Cable Guy jokes aren't funny. So I'm not sure what joke they're in on, exactly.

That's where the self-deprecating comes in. I believe it's like he's mocking their grandpas. It's funny because it reminds them of the person who first told them most of his jokes.

After reading the ad I have to say.

This fine upstanding citizen should be placed on a pedestal erected in her honor, for she is truly a Real American. Showing the turgid spirit of brotherly love she castigates and defies the sin while showing tumescent love for the sinner. In the spirit of a good shepherd she tenderly cares for her flock, grabbing hold of the rod and the staff to bring comfort and succor to one who is suffering under the throbbing weight of his sin. Rather than drive her child from her with the hard flagellations of punishment and hate she gently embraces him with secret enticements of the delicious fruit of a proper, faithful life. God willing, he shall soon be on his knees, seeking the glorious libation of the waters of life, and seeking comfort in the strong and mighty embrace of his divine and lordly glory. He will take the essence of the holy spirit into himself and be cleansed of the stain of sinful degradation.

Sorry was that too much or not enough? I'm running out of steam...