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(Huffington Post)   Maybe it's time to re-evaluate if your sex life is too rough when people stumble upon your sex chamber and mistake it for a crime scene   (huffingtonpost.com) divider line 86
    More: Obvious, swedish, BDSM, free country, Swedish language, Aftonbladet, Dee Severe, HuffPost, limping  
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18044 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Jun 2012 at 5:45 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2012-06-13 06:02:40 PM
9 votes:
My Mistress has granted me permission to get a kick out of some of these replies.
2012-06-13 05:59:19 PM
6 votes:
pithypontifications.files.wordpress.com

You're right, fire IS bad. And so are you naughty boy...
2012-06-13 05:26:51 PM
6 votes:
"Last Friday, two fisherman came across the old bunker..."

I BET they did.

*gives knowing and loaded eyebrow waggle*
2012-06-13 06:06:55 PM
5 votes:
Never! You can have my studded leather flogger when you pry it out of my cold dead ass.
2012-06-13 06:02:50 PM
5 votes:
1.bp.blogspot.com

Speak. Now, Beg!
2012-06-13 06:26:05 PM
4 votes:
tickleabuse.com

In these tough economic times, I suggest you invest heavily in Asian stocks.
2012-06-13 06:09:17 PM
4 votes:

Ghastly: Never! You can have my studded leather flogger when you pry it out of my cold dead ass.


What if I pry it out, then put it back in... Then pry it out, and put it back in again???

///These are important questions, they need asking :P
2012-06-13 05:54:32 PM
4 votes:
fc00.deviantart.net

I love the religion threads.
2012-06-13 04:19:26 PM
4 votes:

dletter: [i.huffpost.com image 260x190]

So, I am looking at a sex cage for the 50 foot woman here?



She's actually in a sex dungeon in Lilliput.
2012-06-13 04:08:45 PM
4 votes:
i.huffpost.com

So, I am looking at a sex cage for the 50 foot woman here?
2012-06-13 07:27:12 PM
3 votes:

halfof33: Oh, it is another of those threads.

A lot of "tee hee," a bunch of AW'ing, and a whole lot of eye rolling.

"Oh yeah, I used the Johnsonator 4000 on my gal this weekend,"

"That got the Reamator with the hand tooled leather boob scraper?"

"The very same."

snore.....


*bats eyelashes*

Do tell us how much more interesting YOUR weekend was... Im sure we are all dying to hear about your WOW raid and your Cheetos stained penis...
2012-06-13 06:59:46 PM
3 votes:
www.madisonsmommys.com

There's a call for you. You better take it inside.
2012-06-13 06:57:49 PM
3 votes:
us8.memecdn.com
2012-06-13 06:18:30 PM
3 votes:
CSB time:

In 2005, on NYE, I was invited to a party. I invited one of my coworkers to come along with me, and she accepted. I intended to party pretty hard, so I had my parents pick us up and drop us off at the party with the intention of taking a cab home whenever I regained consciousness.

Half way through the night, I see my coworker flirting with a guy and I'm like "omg awesome!" because she's very uptight. Never dates, is a virgin at age 33 (maybe 34?) and so on. So right after midnight, she disappears with this guy and I'm all "hurray!"

At seven AM she comes and wakes me up from my drunken stupor on the couch and says we need to leave like right then. I'm all "okay, whatevs" and call the cab. On the way home, she tells me that she had sex with that guy and proceeds to freak out. She later told me that she went and got a morning after pill and all that.

Three weeks (!) later, I get a phone call from the guy who hosted the party. He goes "Hey, Kel, I need you to call your friend that came to the party with you and have her call me." Turns out that she had ducked out with this guy - the host's neighbor - and gone to his house. He banged her in a spare room.

His girlfriend had been out of town for Christmas and the New Year, and then didn't go into the room for however long upon her return home. When she did, however, she found blood-stained sheets, blood smeared on walls and all that kinda stuff. It was so bad that she thought someone had been raped and/or murdered in the room and immediately called 911.

The girl had to go give a statement to police.
2012-06-13 06:06:44 PM
3 votes:

Chunky Pumpkinhead: as someone who has had the police bang on his front door because the neighbors thought his sex life sounded "too rough," getting a kick...


Egh... Ditto.

///Anyone who has ever had to explain "Consensual Bite marks" to the police at 3 in the morning... Well, we have lived a little LOL
2012-06-13 05:07:55 PM
3 votes:
*takes Subby off my to-do list*
2012-06-13 03:47:32 PM
3 votes:
Maybe it's time to re-evaluate your sex life if you think having a sex chamber as awesome as that is "too rough"
2012-06-13 06:54:27 PM
2 votes:
This can also be used as a listening device....

images.lowes.com

It's funny because it's named after what it makes them do!
2012-06-13 06:52:14 PM
2 votes:
This thread makes a nice, long list of things my wife won't do.
2012-06-13 06:40:33 PM
2 votes:

Need Help Soonish: ///And I know where to get the best handmade leather restraints too ;)


Uggghhhh... Want. I used to have a great set from a psychiatric ward. Ohhh, I loved those.
2012-06-13 06:27:26 PM
2 votes:
farm3.static.flickr.com
2012-06-13 06:19:52 PM
2 votes:

Need Help Soonish: Chunky Pumpkinhead: as someone who has had the police bang on his front door because the neighbors thought his sex life sounded "too rough," getting a kick...

Egh... Ditto.

///Anyone who has ever had to explain "Consensual Bite marks" to the police at 3 in the morning... Well, we have lived a little LOL


Heh. I hooked up with a friend when we were kinda drunk one night and she insisted on biting and scratching me. The next day my lips, neck and earlobes were all swollen and bruised. I met a friend of mine for lunch and he was like "Dude, did you get in a fight??"

/csb
2012-06-13 06:12:13 PM
2 votes:
dletter: Either way, that being said.... what would you want to do with a "mega giant" woman in that way, other than just look at her naked? Use your entire body as a dildo? Eww.

Boobie trampoline?
2012-06-13 06:10:59 PM
2 votes:
I dated a girl that ran a sex toy shop. She was into whips and paddles and bondage... I was cool with that. But when I saw her naked (specifically without panties), i found out she liked cutting herself. Freaked me out, so i left and never talked to her again.
Also, I seem to attract women who like to bite/be bitten (even before the vampire craze). Is that common among females?
2012-06-13 06:09:34 PM
2 votes:
xd0.xanga.com

I have the strangest strongest boner right now
2012-06-13 06:03:58 PM
2 votes:
img232.imageshack.us


tlhIngan maH!
2012-06-13 06:01:23 PM
2 votes:
img163.imageshack.us

Was it like an executive fark room ?
2012-06-13 05:54:28 PM
2 votes:
Oh yeah, baby, my dungeon is a crime scene. A SEX crime scene, you know what I mean!

/Never works
//Will someday, I'm sure!
2012-06-13 03:51:05 PM
2 votes:
i.imgur.com

A little late for Dabney Coleman...

/I prefer doing M&M's
2012-06-13 03:40:39 PM
2 votes:
No.

No, it's not.
2012-06-13 07:22:25 PM
1 votes:
Oh, it is another of those threads.

A lot of "tee hee," a bunch of AW'ing, and a whole lot of eye rolling.

"Oh yeah, I used the Johnsonator 4000 on my gal this weekend,"

"That got the Reamator with the hand tooled leather boob scraper?"

"The very same."

snore.....
2012-06-13 07:21:21 PM
1 votes:

Sensei Can You See: Matthew Keene: You might want to consider leaving this thread, then. We're just getting started.

[assets.diylol.com image 510x477]


weknowmemes.com

I always liked this version...
2012-06-13 07:14:16 PM
1 votes:

Matthew Keene: You might want to consider leaving this thread, then. We're just getting started.


assets.diylol.com
2012-06-13 07:07:46 PM
1 votes:

Turd_Ferguson: tinfoil-hat maggie: eas81: I lurv Ms. Addams..

[www.deviantart.com image 517x800][cdn2.istudio.com image 532x800]

/ROWR!!!!!

I think I could luv her too, hmmm.

Well that calls for a spanking, keep up the great work.


Well, I have been naughty, just not lately :)
2012-06-13 07:06:53 PM
1 votes:

rev. dave: I have no interest in that kind of lifestyle. I don't have a problem with it until you tell me about it. As the article mentions, discretion is important here. If I go my entire life and never hear about people doing this I will be just fine. So keep the lid on it.


..so you read a fark link, and an article about it, then a fark thread about it, then gave a post about it.

but you don' t want to know anything about it and everyone should keep a lid on it ?


Perhaps people don't take you very seriously for a reason.
2012-06-13 07:06:50 PM
1 votes:

rev. dave: I have no interest in that kind of lifestyle. I don't have a problem with it until you tell me about it. As the article mentions, discretion is important here. If I go my entire life and never hear about people doing this I will be just fine. So keep the lid on it.


(stoplikingthingsidontlike.jpg)
2012-06-13 07:05:53 PM
1 votes:

Mark Ratner: Jeez, some of you people are not right in the head, you sinners.

How about two people on a couch watching a romantic comedy, like "When Harry Met Sally" or "The Notebook," and flirting a bit while sharing a bottle of wine? After the movie ends, you talk and flirt some more, and then kiss passionately while engaging in some heavy petting. Move to the bedroom, turn off the lights, and make love like normal people.


People do that? What a bunch of sickos.
2012-06-13 07:03:37 PM
1 votes:

JWideman: What I'm getting from this article is that in Sweden it's perfectly cool to walk into an abandoned building and set up shop.


"Sweden is not really such a free country when it comes to sexuality," she told the paper.

Right. Those Swedes are SO uptight.

And French people use too much deodorant.
2012-06-13 07:01:58 PM
1 votes:
How about two people on a couch watching a romantic comedy, like "When Harry Met Sally" or "The Notebook," and flirting a bit while sharing a bottle of wine? After the movie ends, you talk and flirt some more, and then kiss passionately while engaging in some heavy petting. Move to the bedroom, turn off the lights, and make love like normal people.

man, are you kinky!
2012-06-13 07:00:59 PM
1 votes:
I've had more than 1 or 3 cases where when I was done and put a shirt on, I ended up with blood stains on the shirt.

/Currently working on a bed frame with hidden compartments for important stuff like cuffs and paddles.
2012-06-13 06:59:56 PM
1 votes:

Mark Ratner: Jeez, some of you people are not right in the head, you sinners.

How about two people on a couch watching a romantic comedy, like "When Harry Met Sally" or "The Notebook," and flirting a bit while sharing a bottle of wine? After the movie ends, you talk and flirt some more, and then kiss passionately while engaging in some heavy petting. Move to the bedroom, turn off the lights, and make love like normal people.


OR!

We could kill zombies on the couch for a couple of hours while drinking rum, go to the bathroom, engage in oral, anal, and fisting while showering, then finish up with our girlfriend a few hours later when she shows up.

///I like my way better thank you...
///also, romantic comedies are a scourge upon our society :/
2012-06-13 06:59:53 PM
1 votes:

Mark Ratner: Jeez, some of you people are not right in the head, you sinners.

How about two people on a couch watching a romantic comedy, like "When Harry Met Sally" or "The Notebook," and flirting a bit while sharing a bottle of wine? After the movie ends, you talk and flirt some more, and then kiss passionately while engaging in some heavy petting. Move to the bedroom, turn off the lights, and make love like normal people.


Not too bad if you add trussed, stuffed, and paddled to the activities during the movies. That would be an enjoyable way to pass the evening with the misses.

/must break out the restraints tonight
2012-06-13 06:55:43 PM
1 votes:
Jeez, some of you people are not right in the head, you sinners.

How about two people on a couch watching a romantic comedy, like "When Harry Met Sally" or "The Notebook," and flirting a bit while sharing a bottle of wine? After the movie ends, you talk and flirt some more, and then kiss passionately while engaging in some heavy petting. Move to the bedroom, turn off the lights, and make love like normal people.
2012-06-13 06:55:11 PM
1 votes:
I have no interest in that kind of lifestyle. I don't have a problem with it until you tell me about it. As the article mentions, discretion is important here. If I go my entire life and never hear about people doing this I will be just fine. So keep the lid on it.
2012-06-13 06:54:34 PM
1 votes:

verbaltoxin: This thread makes a nice, long list of things my wife won't do.


Hay, YOU married her. If it's that bad, go get another one that WILL be down for the kinky shiat.

///Trade UP my man... trade up.
2012-06-13 06:54:00 PM
1 votes:
i7.photobucket.com

Even kitteh is getting in on the bondage. I think someone's rope-work is a bit sloppy, though.

If I wasn't about to go to bed, I would contribute some CSBs.

Okay, one before I drift off to dream-land:
I was out camping with the local scene people, we had a group campsite nicely set up in a discrete location, complete with privacy screening. Unfortunately, the trailhead near the campsite, which was supposed to be closed for the weekend, was not, in fact, closed. This meant that mid-afternoon we were suddenly inundated by people wandering by the campsite, quite a few of whom walked away with rather curious looks on their faces. I'm not sure if it was the people suspended in the spider web, the flogging, the violet wand, or what, but I bet at least a few of them came up with some new ideas to try out when they got home.
/CSB
2012-06-13 06:52:28 PM
1 votes:
My sub will enjoy reading this article while I flog her over the St. Andrews Cross this evening.
2012-06-13 06:50:43 PM
1 votes:
when a problem comes along you must whip it

i60.photobucket.com
2012-06-13 06:47:06 PM
1 votes:
My best experience was a taser to the balls once. I'm actually up for that again. It was awesome.
2012-06-13 06:36:31 PM
1 votes:
Was that wrong? Should I not have done that?
2012-06-13 06:31:50 PM
1 votes:

Need Help Soonish: Ghastly: Never! You can have my studded leather flogger when you pry it out of my cold dead ass.

What if I pry it out, then put it back in... Then pry it out, and put it back in again???

///These are important questions, they need asking :P


Well I better not be dead then.
2012-06-13 06:31:44 PM
1 votes:
Reevaluate or reaffirm?

images3.wikia.nocookie.net
2012-06-13 06:30:44 PM
1 votes:
FTFA: Last Friday, two fisherman came across the old bunker and discovered what appeared to be either a garden of earthly delights complete with a silk-sheet laden bed, ropes, dildos and leather items -- or a crime scene.

The fishermen assumed it was a crime scene, according to Sweden's The Local, especially since a similarly equipped dungeon was discovered in March 2011 in an abandoned farmhouse.


I can only assume that Swedes never watch any kind of porn, or even some of the rougher R-rated flicks from America. I also must assume that "crime scene" is VERY loosely interpreted in Sweden, since the "similarly equipped dungeon" not only wasn't similarly equipped; it also was not a "crime scene" as it was never found to have been used for anything--police were unclear as to whether that "dungeon" was a torture chamber, someone's fantasy bondage suite, or even an abandoned movie set. Link

It's nice to know Swedish fishermen are so innocent and naive as to stumble upon someone's S&M boudoir and assume it's the scene of a violent crime.
2012-06-13 06:29:56 PM
1 votes:

Chunky Pumpkinhead: as someone who has had the police bang on his front door because the neighbors thought his sex life sounded "too rough," getting a kick...


I'm concerned I'm going to be "getting a kick out of these replies" too, after my friend visits in a few weeks and I try out some news toys on her......
2012-06-13 06:27:20 PM
1 votes:

MadAzza: Improperly applied cane, possibly. That can do a lot of damage, from lacerations to permanent nerve or tissue damage.
It sounds boring, but it's a good idea to read up on the proper, safe use of certain implements before you try them. It's not about whacking away all willy-nilly.
If you're the sub, make sure your Dom has done his/her homework.


There were no accoutrements, just penis in vagina sex. Not sure if it was a hymen issue or she was on her period or what, but my buddy saw the room and said it was gruesome.
2012-06-13 06:26:43 PM
1 votes:

Matthew Keene: [heavybondage.files.wordpress.com image 248x236]


That photo makes me want to break out the BIG strapon... and not use lube...

///Yep, Im a bad person.
///Ok with it where that twerp is concerned :/
2012-06-13 06:25:12 PM
1 votes:
I had this discussion in a Fark thread a long, long time ago, it ended with a Farkette telling me I was a terrible person and a deviant who was only slightly better than a child molester. The whole thing started with a recounting of an experience similar to the headline.

My ex and I would pretty much always include copious amounts of pain into our sex life. We tended towards blades and beating, though there was occasional bondage involved too. It was normal for us to have at least two or three broken fingers at any given time, and we were almost always covered in bruises, burns, and cuts.

Once, at her place, we had just finished a particularly violent encounter when we decided to go out quickly and grab something to eat. When we returned, the police were there. Her roommate had come home, seen the blood, and since we had done our best to keep her unaware of our more bloodthirsty tendencies, saw the mess in my girlfriend's room and assumed a crime had taken place. I insisted everyone was overreacting, but then they showed us the room as we had left it. The mattress had soaked up the blood, but according to the police there was so much of it it had actually made a decent sized puddle before it soaked in.

I miss that girl.
2012-06-13 06:25:04 PM
1 votes:

fusillade762: Need Help Soonish: Chunky Pumpkinhead: as someone who has had the police bang on his front door because the neighbors thought his sex life sounded "too rough," getting a kick...

Egh... Ditto.

///Anyone who has ever had to explain "Consensual Bite marks" to the police at 3 in the morning... Well, we have lived a little LOL

Heh. I hooked up with a friend when we were kinda drunk one night and she insisted on biting and scratching me. The next day my lips, neck and earlobes were all swollen and bruised. I met a friend of mine for lunch and he was like "Dude, did you get in a fight??"

/csb


Hehehe...

Im notoriously sturdy, but the first few months with my current boyfriend had a LOT of people worried we were not gonna survive it... We both always looked like we just got in a fight with a bob cat and lost!
2012-06-13 06:22:57 PM
1 votes:
I've spent many a night in handcuffs and leg shackles. And not in custody, so to speak.
2012-06-13 06:22:40 PM
1 votes:
Uh, I'm sure you guys can translate that last sentence into something legible.
2012-06-13 06:21:07 PM
1 votes:

fusillade762: Heh. I hooked up with a friend when we were kinda drunk one night and she insisted on biting and scratching me. The next day my lips, neck and earlobes were all swollen and bruised. I met a friend of mine for lunch and he was like "Dude, did you get in a fight??"

/csb


I bruise so easily that I end up hand (at the very least) fingerprint bruises on my body every time I have sex. I like to call them hooker bruises.
2012-06-13 06:19:53 PM
1 votes:

brap: "Last Friday, two fisherman came across the old bunker..."

I BET they did.

*gives knowing and loaded eyebrow waggle*


Wink, wink, nudge, nudge, say no more, say no more, eh?
2012-06-13 06:19:38 PM
1 votes:
A "a secret sex chamber she set up at an abandoned military bunker." That sounds totally safe and not at all ill-advised.

OTOH, where would Fark be if everybody behaved in ways that weren't ill-advised?
2012-06-13 06:18:56 PM
1 votes:
heavybondage.files.wordpress.com
2012-06-13 06:15:19 PM
1 votes:

irishdncr83: Am I the only person in the entire universe that thinks the D in BDSM means "domination" and not "discipline" per the article?


As I understand it, it can be either. But I'm not a purist and although I'm very much in to most elements and associate with the community I find quite a few things really funny & silly. There is a lot of well you're not a real dominant, submissive etc. because of some teeny little thing. Reminds me of the baptist joke about one year's reformation being a heretic.
2012-06-13 06:15:11 PM
1 votes:

irishdncr83: Am I the only person in the entire universe that thinks the D in BDSM means "domination" and not "discipline" per the article?


It's discipline.

The D in D&S is dominance.
2012-06-13 06:14:08 PM
1 votes:

LazerFish:
Also, I seem to attract women who like to bite/be bitten (even before the vampire craze). Is that common among females?


It's pretty common in my life, so I'd guess that only the strangest ones do it.
2012-06-13 06:13:06 PM
1 votes:

iheartscotch: Maybe, it's time to re-evaluate your writing skills, subby? That headline is making my head hurt.

It should read: " maybe your sex life is too ruff if, apon discovery, your sex dungeon looks like a crime scene.


Ruff? Apon? If you're going to criticize Subby then perhaps you should spell shiat right.
2012-06-13 06:08:49 PM
1 votes:
If your dungeon does not have a rack and a strappado its not even a real dungeon
2012-06-13 06:08:43 PM
1 votes:
how many other people hate the word "consensual" as much as i do

everything is consensual dammit
2012-06-13 06:08:28 PM
1 votes:

dletter: Blues_X: dletter: [i.huffpost.com image 260x190]

So, I am looking at a sex cage for the 50 foot woman here?


She's actually in a sex dungeon in Lilliput.

Either way, that being said.... what would you want to do with a "mega giant" woman in that way, other than just look at her naked? Use your entire body as a dildo? Eww.


Yes, yes you do.
2012-06-13 06:05:55 PM
1 votes:
[in best Hedonism bot voice] I apologize for nothing!
2012-06-13 06:04:52 PM
1 votes:
It's only too rough if they stumble into the chamber and then it does in fact become a crime scene.
and even then I'm not positive.
2012-06-13 06:03:22 PM
1 votes:
An old Bunker.

www.stripers247.com
2012-06-13 06:03:19 PM
1 votes:

iheartscotch: Maybe, it's time to re-evaluate your writing skills, subby? That headline is making my head hurt.

It should read: " maybe your sex life is too ruff if, apon discovery, your sex dungeon looks like a crime scene.


i822.photobucket.com
2012-06-13 06:01:18 PM
1 votes:
Mrs Peel, you're needed.

www.fetishpopculture.com
2012-06-13 06:00:57 PM
1 votes:
Speak for your self Subby... Not everyone is into vanilla pump-and-dump.

///And I know where to get the best handmade leather restraints too ;)
2012-06-13 05:58:45 PM
1 votes:
Maybe, it's time to re-evaluate your writing skills, subby? That headline is making my head hurt.

It should read: " maybe your sex life is too ruff if, apon discovery, your sex dungeon looks like a crime scene.
2012-06-13 05:55:20 PM
1 votes:
She was into whips and chains
And I was into the pain
2012-06-13 05:54:20 PM
1 votes:
Sticks and stone may break my bones
but whips and chains excite me
2012-06-13 05:52:13 PM
1 votes:
as someone who has had the police bang on his front door because the neighbors thought his sex life sounded "too rough," getting a kick...
2012-06-13 05:50:22 PM
1 votes:
Mom?
2012-06-13 05:49:13 PM
1 votes:
Bring out the Gimp.
2012-06-13 04:33:39 PM
1 votes:
Gersh gurndy morn-dee burn-dee, burn-dee, flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip
images.wikia.com
2012-06-13 04:25:40 PM
1 votes:
Quick,Robin....To the Bat Bondage Cave!
2012-06-13 04:24:35 PM
1 votes:

Blues_X: dletter: [i.huffpost.com image 260x190]

So, I am looking at a sex cage for the 50 foot woman here?


She's actually in a sex dungeon in Lilliput.


Either way, that being said.... what would you want to do with a "mega giant" woman in that way, other than just look at her naked? Use your entire body as a dildo? Eww.
 
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