Apos: What of the equally terrified spider?
cheezitmojo: Glass door man, glass door man. Glass door man hates naked spider man.
sayke: I once had a cricket climb into my bed and bite me on the taint while I was sleeping. But then, I'm Australian, so... Eh, could have been worse.
Hector Remarkable: If you are drunk enough you may also opt to be thrown through a glass door.
Snargi: I read a fun fact that stated that in an average person's lifetime they will eat eight spiders in their sleep./Sleep well tonight
rebelyell2006: Apos: What of the equally terrified spider?Hopefully someone had the good sense to find it and squish it.
Apos: rebelyell2006: Apos: What of the equally terrified spider?Hopefully someone had the good sense to find it and squish it.How can you be so callous? Can you imagine the amount of human flatulence/belching/dong assault the poor arachnid endured in its quest to escape its linen confinement? The indignity and horror of it? Not a pretty thought,huh?Someone has to think of the spider. It might as well be me.
TheShavingofOccam123: Say, if the guy was naked, how did they know he was Spiderman?
Biv: cheezitmojo: Glass door man, glass door man. Glass door man hates naked spider man.Get in a fight, glass door wins, glass door man.
Biv: Snargi: I read a fun fact that stated that in an average person's lifetime they will eat eight spiders in their sleep./Sleep well tonightNever fear:http://www.snopes.com/science/stats/spiders.asp
Gyrfalcon: sayke: I once had a cricket climb into my bed and bite me on the taint while I was sleeping. But then, I'm Australian, so... Eh, could have been worse.When even the harmless creatures bite your junk, and you're GLAD about it because of the alternatives...maybe you should move to a safer place, like midtown Detroit.
Satan's Dumptruck Driver: I once twisted the dried leaves off of the top of a tomato. I turned around to cut said tomato. Then I turned around again to the trash can, saw the dried tomato leaves sitting on top of the trash, thought it was a spider and jumped back. This all occurred over a10 second interval.In 2010 I dreamed that a black widow was lowering itself towards my bed. In my dream I jumped up to turn on the lights. I then woke up standing next to my front door-- having actually jumped out of bed, walked around and turned on the lights in my living room.The first time I ever found a black widow in my home I canceled my dinner plans so that I could go to the hardware store to buy: 1) Raid, 2) a lighter. I killed the spider with the Raid with a 10-second continous blast. And then I set the egg sacs on fire. I might as well have put on a helmet and kevlar armor. The reaction could not have been much more over-the-top.I like to think it is a survival mechanism encoded in the same genes that make me the hulk of a man that I am. But the reality is that I'm just not tough.
Mr. Potatoass: When I was 21, I was driving home mid-morning from an all night party on a busy 4 lane road.The only thing I was wearing was a pair of bib overalls, and a pair of sandals.All of a sudden, I could feel a big bug crawling up my thigh, towards my junk.I slammed on the brakes, pulled over, jumped out of the car, and stripped off the overalls, hopping around naked like a goddamned idiot.I can still hear the sounds of the honking horns, and the laughter from the passing motorists, to this day./Farking cricket//End CSB
Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.
When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.
Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.
You need to create an account to submit links or post comments.
Click here to submit a link.
Also on Fark
Submit a Link »
Copyright © 1999 - 2017 Fark, Inc | Last updated: Jul 25 2017 22:58:37
Runtime: 0.377 sec (376 ms)