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(Evansville Courier Press)   Naked Spider-Man, Naked Spider-Man, runs straight through a glass door as fast as he can, is he drunk, or off his head, no there's just a spider in his bed, it's the Naked Spider-Maaaaan   (courierpress.com) divider line 59
    More: Amusing, Southern Illinois  
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6175 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Jun 2012 at 9:14 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-06-12 09:08:18 PM
What of the equally terrified spider?
 
2012-06-12 09:16:48 PM
Apos
What of the equally terrified spider?

"All the sympathy goes to the guy who got it. What about the poor old redback? What's he supposed to do, put up an umbrella?"
 
2012-06-12 09:17:11 PM
Yay, spider thread!

I once found a mouse in my bed. I threw IT out the door.
 
2012-06-12 09:17:21 PM
Man, these Spider Man: Turn off the Dark production problems are just getting weirder and weirder.
 
2012-06-12 09:21:13 PM
www.27bslash6.com
 
2012-06-12 09:21:22 PM
Glass door man, glass door man. Glass door man hates naked spider man.
 
2012-06-12 09:21:23 PM

Apos: What of the equally terrified spider?


Hopefully someone had the good sense to find it and squish it.
 
2012-06-12 09:21:42 PM
Itsy bitsy spider went up the naked man's spout,
Down came the piss and wash the spider out,
Out came the man who crashed the window pane,
And the itsy bitsy policemen were called to the trailer park again.
 
Biv
2012-06-12 09:23:04 PM

cheezitmojo: Glass door man, glass door man. Glass door man hates naked spider man.


Get in a fight, glass door wins, glass door man.
 
2012-06-12 09:23:42 PM
well played sir well played
 
2012-06-12 09:23:52 PM
Wonder if that would work in my neighborhood next time I see the hot neighbor out in her front yard.
 
2012-06-12 09:23:59 PM
I once had a cricket climb into my bed and bite me on the taint while I was sleeping. But then, I'm Australian, so... Eh, could have been worse.
 
2012-06-12 09:32:18 PM
There are many reasons to run through a plate glass door. Awoken from a sound sleep by a spider is indeed one of them.

If you are drunk enough you may also opt to be thrown through a glass door.
 
2012-06-12 09:32:35 PM

sayke: I once had a cricket climb into my bed and bite me on the taint while I was sleeping. But then, I'm Australian, so... Eh, could have been worse.


When even the harmless creatures bite your junk, and you're GLAD about it because of the alternatives...maybe you should move to a safer place, like midtown Detroit.
 
2012-06-12 09:34:03 PM

Hector Remarkable: If you are drunk enough you may also opt to be thrown through a glass door.


I'd prefer not to find a spider large enough to throw me out a glass door.
 
2012-06-12 09:34:45 PM
I read a fun fact that stated that in an average person's lifetime they will eat eight spiders in their sleep.

/Sleep well tonight
 
2012-06-12 09:37:09 PM
cdn.gs.uproxx.com
 
Biv
2012-06-12 09:37:19 PM

Snargi: I read a fun fact that stated that in an average person's lifetime they will eat eight spiders in their sleep.

/Sleep well tonight


Never fear:
http://www.snopes.com/science/stats/spiders.asp
 
2012-06-12 09:39:12 PM
Now that is a funny article. A similar story goes to famous baseball player Glenallen Hill who was so arachnophobic that a nightmare about spiders cost him a 15 day disability leave.
 
2012-06-12 09:49:35 PM
Nice that they didn't identify the poor bastard.

Of course, how many 20-year-old 3rd-shift factory workers are there in Albion, Illinois, who live near North Fourth and East Poplar Street?
 
2012-06-12 09:50:45 PM
4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-06-12 09:50:47 PM
I can't say for certain that I wouldn't have reacted similarly. Well, I don't think I would've run through the door. Especially naked.
 
2012-06-12 09:51:13 PM

rebelyell2006: Apos: What of the equally terrified spider?

Hopefully someone had the good sense to find it and squish it.



How can you be so callous? Can you imagine the amount of human flatulence/belching/dong assault the poor arachnid endured in its quest to escape its linen confinement? The indignity and horror of it? Not a pretty thought,huh?

Someone has to think of the spider. It might as well be me.
 
2012-06-12 09:56:40 PM
I cannot find fault with this man's behavior.

/spider thread?
//I'm outta here!
 
2012-06-12 09:58:44 PM

Apos: rebelyell2006: Apos: What of the equally terrified spider?

Hopefully someone had the good sense to find it and squish it.


How can you be so callous? Can you imagine the amount of human flatulence/belching/dong assault the poor arachnid endured in its quest to escape its linen confinement? The indignity and horror of it? Not a pretty thought,huh?

Someone has to think of the spider. It might as well be me.



images2.wikia.nocookie.net


Won't somebody think of the spiders
 
2012-06-12 09:59:49 PM
www.rankopedia.com
Warned us that Spider-Man was a menace
 
2012-06-12 10:02:39 PM
costumefail.com

Naked Spiderman?
 
2012-06-12 10:02:50 PM
Say, if the guy was naked, how did they know he was Spiderman?
 
2012-06-12 10:15:56 PM

TheShavingofOccam123: Say, if the guy was naked, how did they know he was Spiderman?


He had this white sticky stuff dripping form his hands.

Wait...
 
2012-06-12 10:17:30 PM

Biv: cheezitmojo: Glass door man, glass door man. Glass door man hates naked spider man.

Get in a fight, glass door wins, glass door man.


Police man, Police man,
Head the size of the entire universe
Files no charges against spider man
Police man
 
2012-06-12 10:21:56 PM
This video submission from a couple days ago is appropriate
 
2012-06-12 10:23:27 PM
I was told there would be no meth

/spidey senses tell me otherwise
 
2012-06-12 10:24:35 PM
t0.gstatic.com
que the sexy sax musaq
 
2012-06-12 10:24:45 PM

Biv: Snargi: I read a fun fact that stated that in an average person's lifetime they will eat eight spiders in their sleep.

/Sleep well tonight

Never fear:
http://www.snopes.com/science/stats/spiders.asp


Total urban legend.

It's only seven.
 
2012-06-12 10:32:35 PM
edubuzz.org

/giving him the benefit of the doubt.
//would run through 3 doors if I saw that.
 
2012-06-12 10:38:09 PM
i81.photobucket.com
 
2012-06-12 10:54:52 PM
Spiiiiiiiiders, come out and plaaaaaaaaay.

www.documentingreality.com
 
2012-06-12 11:01:51 PM
Maybe he should invest in a can of....bug spray
 
2012-06-12 11:03:07 PM

sayke: I once had a cricket climb into my bed and bite me on the taint while I was sleeping. But then, I'm Australian, so... Eh, could have been worse.


Like a crocodile biting your taint?
 
2012-06-12 11:04:09 PM
cdn.chud.com
 
2012-06-12 11:06:59 PM
I once had to kill a roach in my bed. Slumming it!
 
2012-06-12 11:17:40 PM
I once twisted the dried leaves off of the top of a tomato. I turned around to cut said tomato. Then I turned around again to the trash can, saw the dried tomato leaves sitting on top of the trash, thought it was a spider and jumped back. This all occurred over a10 second interval.

In 2010 I dreamed that a black widow was lowering itself towards my bed. In my dream I jumped up to turn on the lights. I then woke up standing next to my front door-- having actually jumped out of bed, walked around and turned on the lights in my living room.

The first time I ever found a black widow in my home I canceled my dinner plans so that I could go to the hardware store to buy: 1) Raid, 2) a lighter. I killed the spider with the Raid with a 10-second continous blast. And then I set the egg sacs on fire. I might as well have put on a helmet and kevlar armor. The reaction could not have been much more over-the-top.

I like to think it is a survival mechanism encoded in the same genes that make me the hulk of a man that I am. But the reality is that I'm just not tough.
 
2012-06-12 11:32:30 PM
♫ Oh, yeah... I'm a glass door man... ♫

/the men don't know, but the spiders understand
 
2012-06-12 11:37:38 PM

Gyrfalcon: sayke: I once had a cricket climb into my bed and bite me on the taint while I was sleeping. But then, I'm Australian, so... Eh, could have been worse.

When even the harmless creatures bite your junk, and you're GLAD about it because of the alternatives...maybe you should move to a safer place, like midtown Detroit.


Don't worry. The zombie-killing bullets work on spiders, too, if you're a good enough shot. And let's face it, who's gonna notice another gunshot or two?
 
2012-06-12 11:38:50 PM
This one time, I half-woke up feeling an ache on my leg. Still mostly asleep, I automatically reached down to touch the spot, where my hand encountered a tiny obstacle. I yanked at it and felt fangs pull out of my flesh. Now wide, wide awake, I threw it across the room.

So I sympathize with this guy. Spider in the bed = MEGABAD.

And incidentally, the feeling of fangs, even tiny ones, being yanked out of your skin is something you should never, ever hope to feel.
 
2012-06-12 11:39:50 PM
When I was 21, I was driving home mid-morning from an all night party on a busy 4 lane road.
The only thing I was wearing was a pair of bib overalls, and a pair of sandals.
All of a sudden, I could feel a big bug crawling up my thigh, towards my junk.
I slammed on the brakes, pulled over, jumped out of the car, and stripped off the overalls, hopping around naked like a goddamned idiot.
I can still hear the sounds of the honking horns, and the laughter from the passing motorists, to this day.

/Farking cricket
//End CSB
 
2012-06-12 11:41:52 PM

Satan's Dumptruck Driver: I once twisted the dried leaves off of the top of a tomato. I turned around to cut said tomato. Then I turned around again to the trash can, saw the dried tomato leaves sitting on top of the trash, thought it was a spider and jumped back. This all occurred over a10 second interval.

In 2010 I dreamed that a black widow was lowering itself towards my bed. In my dream I jumped up to turn on the lights. I then woke up standing next to my front door-- having actually jumped out of bed, walked around and turned on the lights in my living room.

The first time I ever found a black widow in my home I canceled my dinner plans so that I could go to the hardware store to buy: 1) Raid, 2) a lighter. I killed the spider with the Raid with a 10-second continous blast. And then I set the egg sacs on fire. I might as well have put on a helmet and kevlar armor. The reaction could not have been much more over-the-top.

I like to think it is a survival mechanism encoded in the same genes that make me the hulk of a man that I am. But the reality is that I'm just not tough.


I was bitten by a black widow almost a decade ago. Your reaction seems rational enough.
 
2012-06-12 11:42:12 PM

Mr. Potatoass: When I was 21, I was driving home mid-morning from an all night party on a busy 4 lane road.
The only thing I was wearing was a pair of bib overalls, and a pair of sandals.
All of a sudden, I could feel a big bug crawling up my thigh, towards my junk.
I slammed on the brakes, pulled over, jumped out of the car, and stripped off the overalls, hopping around naked like a goddamned idiot.
I can still hear the sounds of the honking horns, and the laughter from the passing motorists, to this day.

/Farking cricket
//End CSB


Now there is a story you can be proud of.
 
2012-06-12 11:46:46 PM
It wasn't meth...it had to be PCP/Angel Dust. Back in my stupid years (30 years ago) I smoked some that a friend gave me so I could sleep. I woke up two hours later with a feeling I was in a spider web, I began pacing back and forth in my apartment, nekkid, but finally got a hold of myself...and never touched that crap again.
 
2012-06-12 11:47:43 PM
If you really want to be rid of a Spider...

home.earthlink.net
 
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