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(Salem News 2)   2 DUIs + 3 tires = 0 cat food   (salemnews.com) divider line 46
    More: Dumbass, Amelia Poisson, HSI, Christ Church, Logan International Airport, court officer  
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6405 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Jun 2012 at 8:11 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



46 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-06-12 06:19:01 PM  
FTFA: Amelia Poisson, 42, of 30 Folly Pond Road

This is a joke, right?
 
2012-06-12 06:21:47 PM  
Attempting an 007 car stunt is never advisable-doubly so if you're inebriated.
 
2012-06-12 08:14:23 PM  
If you have a farked up name, might as well do farked up things.
 
2012-06-12 08:14:43 PM  
your math, i don't get it.
 
2012-06-12 08:15:04 PM  
 
2012-06-12 08:15:50 PM  
Only farked up people keep cats.
 
2012-06-12 08:16:30 PM  
Another crazy cat lady.
 
2012-06-12 08:17:53 PM  
I was told there would be no math.
 
2012-06-12 08:18:03 PM  

Ed Finnerty: FTFA: Amelia Poisson, 42, of 30 Folly Pond Road

This is a joke, right?


allthingsclassicfilm.files.wordpress.com

Soitanly!
 
2012-06-12 08:20:18 PM  

Ed Finnerty: FTFA: Amelia Poisson, 42, of 30 Folly Pond Road

This is a joke, right?


There's a "Look What The Cat Dragged In" joke in there somewhere...

If I have my Hair Metal band right?
 
2012-06-12 08:24:37 PM  
This is just a MADD conspiracy and an excuse for small town cops to go on witch hunts for people driving 3 wheeled cars.

Anyways, this is only the second time she got on the highway piss drunk and missing a tire. She's obviously good to drive.
 
2012-06-12 08:25:52 PM  
i are serious about mah kittehs well being
 
2012-06-12 08:27:10 PM  
Reminds me of my brother and I rolling through the neighborhood in our Big Wheels when we were kids. I had the dukes of hazard he had knight rider, we weren't drunk, but you couldn't tell difference by the hell we thought we were raising. And yes goddammit, we were cool.
 
2012-06-12 08:29:48 PM  
Hope the cats will be okay =)
 
2012-06-12 08:30:51 PM  
I know we've all driven when we shouldn't, but how many times do you have to get a dui before you decide maybe you should stop?
 
2012-06-12 08:31:15 PM  
Did the kitteh get fed?

www.petnanny.ch


/ dnrta
 
2012-06-12 08:36:07 PM  

just passing through: I know we've all driven when we shouldn't, but how many times do you have to get a dui before you decide maybe you should stop?


Driving drunk is a constitutional right. The king of beers said so, and now it is God's law. It's right in the Beerble. Carbonation 3:16 - And lo the lord sayeth unto the stumbling man, "brosef, thou cannot walk. It is better that thine drive."
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2012-06-12 08:39:44 PM  
Additional charges include driving after suspension and having defective equipment.

It was night, but you can still get a ticket for a broken headlight in the daytime in Massachusetts. Somebody was driving with one headlight in the daytime and police used that as the pretext to stop the car. Courts couldn't construe the law narrowly to make sense because that would mean throwing out a conviction.
 
2012-06-12 08:40:57 PM  

ZAZ: Additional charges include driving after suspension and having defective equipment.

It was night, but you can still get a ticket for a broken headlight in the daytime in Massachusetts. Somebody was driving with one headlight in the daytime and police used that as the pretext to stop the car. Courts couldn't construe the law narrowly to make sense because that would mean throwing out a conviction.


America!
 
2012-06-12 08:42:19 PM  
"The cat was fine..."
 
2012-06-12 08:42:25 PM  
Sheogorath math?

Sheogormath?
 
2012-06-12 08:44:13 PM  
XX Chromosome people problems
 
2012-06-12 08:45:25 PM  

duffblue: America!


Massachusetts!

You'll be fine so long as you don't get pulled over by a state trooper.

Sir them a lot. They like that, sir.
 
2012-06-12 08:48:57 PM  
She may be in more trouble than she thinks^...
 
2012-06-12 08:57:43 PM  

fluffy2097: just passing through: I know we've all driven when we shouldn't, but how many times do you have to get a dui before you decide maybe you should stop?

Driving drunk is a constitutional right. The king of beers said so, and now it is God's law. It's right in the Beerble. Carbonation 3:16 - And lo the lord sayeth unto the stumbling man, "brosef, thou cannot walk. It is better that thine drive."


nice touch there. I LMAO
 
2012-06-12 09:03:02 PM  

fluffy2097: Anyways, this is only the second time she got on the highway piss drunk and missing a tire. She's obviously good to drive.


In Wisconsin you can drive a bus full of kids in that condition.
 
2012-06-12 09:05:55 PM  
FTFA: Amelia Poisson, 42, of 30 Folly Pond Road

What would you call it the next time this idjit goes driving and splatters her brains all over the pavement? (Other than a win for the rest of us)

A Poisson distribution!
 
2012-06-12 09:06:36 PM  
psipunk.com
 
2012-06-12 09:06:44 PM  

Apos: Attempting an 007 car stunt is never advisable-doubly so if you're inebriated.


i.telegraph.co.uk
www.coolgizmotoys.com
productplacementandmovies.files.wordpress.com

Is there any other way?
 
2012-06-12 09:09:06 PM  
When pulled over for such a transgression, its not appropriate to look out your window, notice the missing tire and say in front of the officer:

"Oh for f*ck's sake, AGAIN!?"
 
2012-06-12 09:17:06 PM  
I cringe when I see the offender is around my age. Epic DUI at 22, awful idea but almost a rite of passage. Epic DUI at 42, cat lady got some issues. Bet her kids are proud.

WTF though- how do you not process that a missing wheel is a problem? The 'cat food' she had finally run though was her vodka stash. No liquior stores that make deliveries?
 
2012-06-12 09:34:30 PM  
i269.photobucket.com
 
2012-06-12 09:46:34 PM  
Why would she need to go buy cat food? Cats love eating poisson!
 
2012-06-12 09:57:02 PM  
Mom?
 
2012-06-12 09:57:52 PM  
Can you imagine all the hijinks that will ensue when "self-driving car" technology is "perfected" for use? It's gonna be Drunky McDrunkerson Expressway out there, leading to an extra-long line at the Taco Bell drive-thru.
 
2012-06-12 10:26:54 PM  
One man's fish is another man's Poisson.
 
2012-06-12 10:29:25 PM  
That's a couple of towns over from where I live. Will have to keep an eye open for drunk cat ladies.
 
2012-06-12 10:59:05 PM  

FooDog: That's a couple of towns over from where I live. Will have to keep an eye open for drunk cat ladies.


She'll be walking
 
2012-06-12 11:11:39 PM  
Red Green unavailable for comment.
 
2012-06-13 01:36:51 AM  
Wait... who said the cat food was to be eaten by actual cats? This lady is crazy; she drives with 3 tires, which is something most people would notice even while drunk. Maybe the cat food is for her.

sk8r: The 'cat food' she had finally run though was her vodka stash. No liquior stores that make deliveries?


Or that.

/really hope there's no starving kitties trapped in her house
 
2012-06-13 02:39:45 AM  
I guess that "buy three tires, get the fourth one free" promotion ended.
 
2012-06-13 04:16:51 AM  

MattyBlast: I guess that "buy three tires, get the fourth one free" promotion ended.


Okay, that's pretty damn funny. Maybe not "+1 internets" funny, but I'd easily award +0.85 internets.
 
2012-06-13 04:42:03 AM  

LordOfThePings:


What the hell is this thing??
 
2012-06-13 04:56:30 AM  

ransack.: What the hell is this thing??


MAG Concept car
 
2012-06-13 03:11:12 PM  
"Anyways, this is only the second time she got on the highway piss drunk and missing a tire"

Sounds like it was the third time... FTA:

still a second offense because there has been no conviction stemming from Wednesday's arrest

/loophole FTW!
 
2012-06-13 05:17:57 PM  

hagopiar: "Anyways, this is only the second time she got on the highway piss drunk and missing a tire"

Sounds like it was the third time... FTA:

still a second offense because there has been no conviction stemming from Wednesday's arrest

/loophole FTW!


The first time she was drunk as shiat and had all 4 tires. ;)
 
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