Toy Tonka... Buffalo. :-/

Oh FFS....

This could be good if you make it like My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.

1. Animated
2. Decent, simple story line
3. Adult references

Here's the story: Big Joe's a construction worker. His crew's workin' somewhere. His boy likes Toknka trucks. One day, the crew hits a snag. Their boss says if they can't fix it he knows someone who can, calls in the Evil Corp. Omnidigger 10,000, a giant evil machine to do the job. It's on the horizon. Big Joe is devestated, tells his wife they'll have to move. Just then he sees Little Joe playing in the sandbox, doing the job they can't do, stands up and says "We can do this." Takes Little Joe and his trucks to the job site and Little Joe and his toy Tonka trucks save the day, and the Evil Corp. Omnidigger 10,000 is sent back to Jersey.

Epilogue: Little Joe growing up montage ending with him as the site foreman driving a real sized Tonka Truck and his retired dad waving at him.

In a world where trucks.Are.King. One truck stands out above all the rest. But he wasn't always this tough. [Musical flashback with funny scene of weakness]...
Title: Get ready to haul ass. [Numbers get dropped onto the screen] 7/7/2013 getreadytohaul.com

Did A.W.E.S.O.M.-O think this up?

Fark you to anybody involved in this project. Just... Fark. You.

I had real metal hit-the-mean-neighbor-kid-in-the-head dump trucks and backhoe Tonka Toys when I was a little boy. I could spend all day in our gravel driveway and the sandbox with those things.

BTW: No self-respecting male would buy his kid a plastic Tonka truck.

ecmoRandomNumbers: Fark you to anybody involved in this project. Just... Fark. You.

I had real metal hit-the-mean-neighbor-kid-in-the-head dump trucks and backhoe Tonka Toys when I was a little boy. I could spend all day in our gravel driveway and the sandbox with those things.

BTW: No self-respecting male would buy his kid a plastic Tonka truck.

When my son was around 5 years old I bought him some of the real metal Tonka trucks at a garage sale. The woman who was having the garage sale said they belonged to her sons, but they were too old to play with them any longer. When my son got too old to play with them, I passed them on to a friend who had a 5 year old son, with a request that she would pass them on when he child outgrew them, which she did.

Now that's how you do it.

Taylor Kitsch's agent was about to call him,then immediately thought better of it....

wtf is that plastic pos? Are you telling me they not only make them of all plastic now they cut costs on building a driver cab?

They said one man couldn't make a difference.
They said one man couldn't move the world.

They were wrong.

July 2014 action is on a collision course

Vin Diesel. Channing Tatum. That one hot sorta Latina Disney Chick in:
"Executive Ball Clicker Thing"

Will there be a 15 minute scene where one slowly eats shia labeouf?

/one can always hope.

Cinaed: Am I only one who sees this as likely turning out like a Pixar's Cars knock-off?

THIS

Some of these movies could be good if they'd let anyone develop an outrageous and creative plot. I don't mind the merchandising. It's the cliche' plots that are so bad.

I'm all for this movie. It puts us one step closer to Alabama Man: The Movie.
/and his trusty sidekick, The Wacky-Action Fun Bike

Humanity never saw the elephant rebellion coming. Now, only one truck is tough enough to stop them...

We already had this movie. Twice.With the most awesome movie death ever!

Almost 40 years old, now my step sons play with it.

Dan: They're morons, Jim. We could make a movie about... I don't know, what are those cheap plastic trucks that kids play with?

Jim: Tonka Trucks.

Dan: Yeah those. I bet you $10K that we can make a movie about those, and the idiots will line up around the block to see it. It'll make $200 million easily.

Jim: Whatever, Dan. *snorts line of cocaine*

I'll only watch it if it's directed by a coked-out Stephen King.

FuturePastNow: At least they're not sequels.

2015: Tonka 2: Honky Tonka across Texas. Starring Billy Ray Cyrus

/cries

It's not how much you try, it's how much you bring together true love
No matter how many times you miss, that perfect match IS there

Katherine Heigl, James Marsden, and, what the fark, Amy Adams. She's still hot, right?

"Cup -- With Ball on a String"

July 2014 take a swing -- at happiness.

Etch-a-Sketch II: Electric Bugaloo

Against boredom even the gods struggle in vain.

FRIEDRICH NIETZSCHE, The Antichrist

In Etch-a-Sketch: The Motion Picture, Etch-a-Sketch campaigned for and won the presidency of the USA by throwing his entire life down the Memory Hole. Now, forced to govern a fractious nation, President Etch-a-Sketch resorts to Classical Reaganism (not remembering any thing that didn't happen in old movies and answering press questions only with a helicopter revving up in the background). This technique works at first, but a bored press is a dangerous press* and President Etch-a-Sketch faces great challenges to his power: facts, truths, logic, and a shortage of magical underwear that can transport the wearer to Toy Land with nothing but a fart and a prayer, or just the fart in urgent cases.

Memo to self: Write to Mike Doonesbury. Suggest Etch-a-Sketch idea in case he has to draw President Etch-a-Sketch for four or more years.

*Boredom is... a vital problem for the moralist, since half the sins of mankind are caused by the fear of it.
Bertrand Russell
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/b/bertrandru161962.html#gSsDA G1fFqK8TqXd.99

BronyMedic: The Japanese are starting to look overdue for another nuke. Now they're trying to Pearl Harbor us in the Pop Culture wars.

Meh. South Park did it in the Pokémon episode.

Oh, my! What a giant penis you have. Americans have giant penises. While we Japanese have tiny penises like baby goldfish, as befits us goldfish tenders.

Recently I saw an article that claimed the Chinese are miscalculating their carbon emissions. There is a discrepancy between the totals of each province and the national figure. The difference is 1.4 trillion tonnes of carbon, or, as the article points out, Japan.

That's some margin of error, but as the economist John Maynard Keynes pointed out when some idjit or other talked about the future, in a hundred years we will all be dead.

There ought to be a moratorium on starting any more metaphorical wars. We have enough to do to fight the real ones.

Isn't the Cola Wars enough for anybody? A Coke executive, in the documentary of that name, said that his goal was not "shelf space", it was "stomach space". The enemy, he said, was mother's milk. Monster worse than Hitler. MADison Avenue and Coca Cola are natural born killers and sworn enemies of Mother's Milk.

Here's a recent development in the stomach wars:

Former Coke executive slams 'share of stomach' marketing campaign

N.C. Aizenman
Washington Post
June 8, 2012

New York Mayor Michael R. Bloomberg (I) has announced plans to ban super-size sodas from his city's restaurants, movie theaters, sports arenas and bodegas. Disney will no longer run junk-food ads with its children's programming. First lady Michelle Obama's book about the White House vegetable garden, released Tuesday, notes that the only drinks offered during family meals at home are milk and water.

The logic behind these moves has been repeated so often it is practically a mantra: The nation is in the throes of an obesity crisis and sodas account for an outsize share of the sugar pouring into American bellies.

Putman, 51, shares that view. But he is also driven by another motive: From 1997 to mid-2000, he was a top marketing executive at Coca-Cola.

(...) He wanted to give an inside account of what he contends has been a drive by Coca-Cola to replace not just its direct competitors but all beverages in the American diet - a campaign for what the company called "share of stomach." He wanted to warn about the industry's particular focus on young people and minorities.

http://www.infowars.com/former-coke-executive-slams-share-of-stomach- m arketing-campaign/

And that is from a turncoat inside the beast.

Ha! ha! I just got my own joke. Pop Wars, pop wars. It's a pun.

See--if you natter on long enough, you eventually discover what it is you are trying to say. Don't worry about Japan. The worse they can do to you is green tea. The biggest threat to American culture always was and will be, Americans. The Japanese are little pizzles.

Ouija Board?

They're doing a re-boot on Witchboard?