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(Huffington Post)   Thirteen ridiculous lines from Usher's new album   (huffingtonpost.com) divider line 62
    More: Silly, Chuck Palahniuk, Original Videos, best answer  
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6651 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 12 Jun 2012 at 2:21 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-06-12 01:05:48 AM  
"Yeah,yeah,yeah....Yeah,yeah,yeah! Yeah,yeah,yeah....Yeah,yeah,yeeeeah! YEAH!"

/Oblig
 
2012-06-12 02:27:42 AM  
4.bp.blogspot.com
Usher's ain't supposed to sing. You can't hear the movie!
 
2012-06-12 02:37:19 AM  
1. "Girl you are my sugar shop, love you like a lollipop / From the bottom to the top, Imma get you wet, raincoat / Let me be your body soap" ("Can't Stop Won't Stop")

I think we found the next Dan Band cover.
 
2012-06-12 02:40:38 AM  
Wow. As a lyricist, Usher makes Lil Wayne look like Bob Dylan.
 
2012-06-12 02:41:04 AM  
He's done this his whole career.

These songs are meant for concerts and shows where presumably his shirt is off and all the women at the show are going nuts. The lyrics aren't meant to actually be analyzed -- like political campaign speeches.
 
2012-06-12 02:47:29 AM  
In the desert you can remember your name
'Cause there ain't no one for to give you no pain
 
2012-06-12 02:47:58 AM  
He looks like a really well-dressed chimp.
 
2012-06-12 02:51:16 AM  
"Chanel hoodie on, lookin' like Trayvon Martin, George Zimmer don't want it"

Being timely is nice, as long as it makes some sense.

And the man seems to be obsessed with moisture.
 
2012-06-12 03:08:10 AM  
This guy is still relevant?

/His lyrics are a reflection on the current state of music, surely.
 
2012-06-12 03:18:27 AM  
Ooh baby, you so wet, i'm going to get a towel, my towel's all wet now, so i'll put in the dryer, ooh never mind, i'll put it in the washer will you help me get the soap, ooh baby, baby i'm going to do the laundry, just you and I, so don't you cry, I know i'll try, then will put it in the dryer, then i'll get back to you 'cause it has timer, and now you's all dry.
 
2012-06-12 03:35:43 AM  

Apos: "Yeah,yeah,yeah....Yeah,yeah,yeah! Yeah,yeah,yeah....Yeah,yeah,yeeeeah! YEAH!"

/Oblig


I can't help it, I like that song. Gets stuck in the brain.
 
2012-06-12 03:36:38 AM  

DoctorRock: is he the black timberlake or is that disney chestburster the white usher? i can never keep this garbage straight........


What a singing chestburster might be:

3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-06-12 04:05:28 AM  
Let me be your body soap

What the hell's wrong with that? I like that line.

F--k you out your brain


What's ridiculous about that? I'm going to f--k you out your brain. I think that's pretty straightforward.
 
2012-06-12 04:16:21 AM  
Honestly, most of those were fairly intelligible. I'd rather read those lyrics than the jabberwocky churned out by emo pansies from suburbia. Besides, even classic rock had some low moments.

Led Zeppelin wrote songs about The motherfarking Hobbit. Ramble On is an amazing track in spite of it.
 
2012-06-12 04:20:58 AM  

7th Son of a 7th Son: 1. "Girl you are my sugar shop, love you like a lollipop / From the bottom to the top, Imma get you wet, raincoat / Let me be your body soap" ("Can't Stop Won't Stop")

I think we found the next Dan Band Richard Cheese cover.

 
2012-06-12 04:24:40 AM  
Usher gives me a boner as big as my dick and that's huge..
 
2012-06-12 04:32:21 AM  
Who?
 
2012-06-12 05:33:47 AM  

DrippinBalls: Who?


The guy who unleashed Justin Bieber onto the world
 
mhd
2012-06-12 06:58:58 AM  
I always liked Usher lyrics:

And travelers now within that valley,
Through the red-litten windows, see
Vast forms that move fantastically
To a discordant melody;
While, like a rapid ghastly river,
Through the pale door,
A hideous throng rush out forever,
And laugh - but smile no more.
 
2012-06-12 07:12:02 AM  
Isn't it great that Kanye West helped start an industry that caters to white people who don't actually listen to black musicians, but really seem to enjoy taking their works and public statements out of context?

I especially like that one site that takes rap lyrics and "translates" them by restating them in an affected and ultimately meaningless academic tone.

We white people are just the bee's knees. We don't put up with silly lyrics and big egos from OUR artists!
 
2012-06-12 07:45:50 AM  

sidcart42: Isn't it great that Kanye West helped start an industry that caters to white people who don't actually listen to black musicians, but really seem to enjoy taking their works and public statements out of context?

I especially like that one site that takes rap lyrics and "translates" them by restating them in an affected and ultimately meaningless academic tone.

We white people are just the bee's knees. We don't put up with silly lyrics and big egos from OUR artists!


Yup. It's all about white people. All the time. Nothing makes me feel right quite like waking up white.
 
2012-06-12 08:03:27 AM  

polyphemus75: Ooh baby, you so wet, i'm going to get a towel, my towel's all wet now, so i'll put in the dryer, ooh never mind, i'll put it in the washer will you help me get the soap, ooh baby, baby i'm going to do the laundry, just you and I, so don't you cry, I know i'll try, then will put it in the dryer, then i'll get back to you 'cause it has timer, and now you's all dry.


You're a farking lyrical genius.
 
2012-06-12 08:03:45 AM  
Nicki Minaj. That is all.
 
2012-06-12 08:18:27 AM  
Rap "artists" often have stupid and unintelligible "lyrics"? Ric Romero have the day off?

/hip-hop is a disease
 
2012-06-12 08:21:37 AM  
"They call me US-HER-RA-YM-OND
Now baby tell me what you wanna do with me"

Also, horrible tipper and all around asshole in person.

/knows from experience
 
2012-06-12 08:29:10 AM  

Atomic Spunk: He looks like a really well-dressed chimp.


i3.kym-cdn.com
 
2012-06-12 08:30:09 AM  
Hate all you want, this shiat works wonders on underage Canadian boys.
 
2012-06-12 08:35:30 AM  
Jay-Z once referred to a Blueberry (as in a phone) in one of his songs.

Look it up.
 
2012-06-12 09:00:39 AM  
"I have you like ooh, Baby baby ooh baby baby / Ah-ooh baby baby ooh baby baby"

Isn't this one already a Bieber song?
 
2012-06-12 09:07:30 AM  

ladyfortuna: Apos: "Yeah,yeah,yeah....Yeah,yeah,yeah! Yeah,yeah,yeah....Yeah,yeah,yeeeeah! YEAH!"

/Oblig

I can't help it, I like that song. Gets stuck in the brain.


I prefer b-side, "I'll get you"
 
2012-06-12 09:19:43 AM  
Hey, not everyone is Led Zepplin

Oh oh oh oh oh oh yeah (fire)
Ah ah ah ah ah ah oh (fire)
Ah ah ah ah ah
Ooooh (fire) yeah
Oh Baby, Baby


Oh wait...
 
2012-06-12 09:46:18 AM  

ClintonKun: DoctorRock: is he the black timberlake or is that disney chestburster the white usher? i can never keep this garbage straight........

What a singing chestburster might be:

[3.bp.blogspot.com image 476x255]


Helllooo Baby!
 
2012-06-12 09:57:57 AM  
Because rock, rap, pop, r&b and metal lyrics are always intelligible and meaningful.
 
2012-06-12 10:16:17 AM  

polyphemus75: Ooh baby, you so wet, i'm going to get a towel, my towel's all wet now, so i'll put in the dryer, ooh never mind, i'll put it in the washer will you help me get the soap, ooh baby, baby i'm going to do the laundry, just you and I, so don't you cry, I know i'll try, then will put it in the dryer, then i'll get back to you 'cause it has timer, and now you's all dry.


This is awesome-
I'm singing this at my band's show this friday...I bet I can make this work with a blues riff in B.
 
2012-06-12 10:23:32 AM  
Is it just me, or is the Huffington Post just getting dumber and dumber?

There's click-whoring, then there's HuffPo click-whoring.
 
2012-06-12 10:46:54 AM  
Hey baby, baby you are quite the lady, I know we just met, but you make me so hot, so to cool us both down, I thought a shower sounds hot, so i'll be your bar of soap, rub you all over, now turn you on over, ooh baby, baby you're quite the lady, don't you worry if the soap were to drop, it's done got a rope longer than the one in your hand, ooh baby, baby! You're my kind a lady!
http://www.youtube.com/user/polyphemus777
 
2012-06-12 11:09:55 AM  

polyphemus75: Hey baby, baby you are quite the lady, I know we just met, but you make me so hot, so to cool us both down, I thought a shower sounds hot, so i'll be your bar of soap, rub you all over, now turn you on over, ooh baby, baby you're quite the lady, don't you worry if the soap were to drop, it's done got a rope longer than the one in your hand, ooh baby, baby! You're my kind a lady!
http://www.youtube.com/user/polyphemus777


Aw dangit I was hoping your youtube page had your original songs on it. Need a producer?
 
2012-06-12 11:30:18 AM  

MAYORBOB: Because rock, rap, pop, r&b and metal lyrics are always intelligible and meaningful.


only when whites perform it. sincerely, certain dumbasses in this thread
 
2012-06-12 11:49:03 AM  
Thanks for the nod, but what I really need is a job! I was layed off, so I cruise the net, laying down lyrics on the government dole! Oh how it aches, my soul as it were, lost amidst troubles day upon day, so I wander yet further, age as I may, what I really need is to get payed!
 
2012-06-12 11:53:06 AM  
No "oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh my gosh"? I hate that whole song, can't believe it was ever a hit.
 
2012-06-12 11:57:29 AM  

polyphemus75: Thanks for the nod, but what I really need is a job! I was layed off, so I cruise the net, laying down lyrics on the government dole! Oh how it aches, my soul as it were, lost amidst troubles day upon day, so I wander yet further, age as I may, what I really need is to get payed!


I wouldn't hire somebody who cannot properly spell easy words such as "paid".
 
2012-06-12 12:36:00 PM  

DoctorRock: ......but does he sing about being in "da club"?


I've never knowingly listened to his stuff, but based solely on his appearance I'd say all of his songs begin in duh club. From there, he'll drive an expensive car (that he'll mention by name) down city streets at night while he forces rhymes using numerous pop culture references.
He'll then find some place to park and stand in front of this car with his shirt completely unbuttoned while strong winds blow and he talks about the things he wants to buy some woman. It will end with the lady spraying Cristal out of her ass onto his face while he throws $100 bills into the sky and smokes a cigar (to show how classy he is).
This will all take place in slow motion and will most likely 'feat' some other guys who all have the first name 'Lil'.

Oh, and every woman in the video will have the first name 'Shorty'.
 
2012-06-12 01:10:42 PM  

PYROY: It will end with the lady spraying Cristal out of her ass onto his face while he throws $100 bills into the sky and smokes a cigar


That would actually make for entertaining viewing.
 
2012-06-12 01:11:29 PM  

StrangeQ: Rap "artists" often have stupid and unintelligible "lyrics"? Ric Romero have the day off?

/hip-hop is a disease


Ah yes, the "rap is crap" crowd. Right on time.
 
2012-06-12 01:39:46 PM  

thepostaftermeisgay: polyphemus75: Thanks for the nod, but what I really need is a job! I was layed off, so I cruise the net, laying down lyrics on the government dole! Oh how it aches, my soul as it were, lost amidst troubles day upon day, so I wander yet further, age as I may, what I really need is to get payed!

I wouldn't hire somebody who cannot properly spell easy words such as "paid".


Sieg heil, fraulein, the Audi is a fitting vehicle for the likes of you, ja, pass the dutchie on the facist side!
 
2012-06-12 01:43:58 PM  

polyphemus75: thepostaftermeisgay: polyphemus75: Thanks for the nod, but what I really need is a job! I was layed off, so I cruise the net, laying down lyrics on the government dole! Oh how it aches, my soul as it were, lost amidst troubles day upon day, so I wander yet further, age as I may, what I really need is to get payed!

I wouldn't hire somebody who cannot properly spell easy words such as "paid".

Sieg heil, fraulein, the Audi is a fitting vehicle for the likes of you, ja, pass the dutchie on the facist side!


Ah, damn it, I meant fascist, please don't kill me!
 
2012-06-12 01:58:15 PM  

polyphemus75: thepostaftermeisgay: polyphemus75: Thanks for the nod, but what I really need is a job! I was layed off, so I cruise the net, laying down lyrics on the government dole! Oh how it aches, my soul as it were, lost amidst troubles day upon day, so I wander yet further, age as I may, what I really need is to get payed!

I wouldn't hire somebody who cannot properly spell easy words such as "paid".

Sieg heil, fraulein, the Audi is a fitting vehicle for the likes of you, ja, pass the dutchie on the facist side!


I'd craft a witty reply but I have to be at work in 26 minutes
 
2012-06-12 02:39:14 PM  
i30.photobucket.com
 
2012-06-12 04:26:48 PM  
"I CARE! I CARE! For youuuuuu" ("I Care For You")

1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-06-12 05:03:48 PM  
All of them?
 
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