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(The Smoking Gun)   King Missile's biggest fan arrested with "fake, flesh-colored penis" in her front pocket. But that's not even the weird part   (thesmokinggun.com) divider line 135
    More: Weird, Carissa Hads, Internet Crimes Against Children, flight risk, pockets, TSG  
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20527 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Jun 2012 at 12:08 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-06-12 08:29:08 AM
more relevant-esque King Missile: "Gary and Melissa"
--some NSFW language (and flute)

Link
 
2012-06-12 08:39:39 AM
King Missile has been one of my favorite bands for years. I'm from West Virginia, and i could care less about the story, only that i have the chance to post this for the uninitated:
King Missile - The Miracle of Childbirth (So very very nsfw)
 
2012-06-12 08:45:29 AM
So one female used a strap on on another female.
Sounds like normal lesbian porn to me.
 
2012-06-12 08:49:34 AM
upload.wikimedia.org

images.amazon.com

Yet in cinema we're taught that if an adult successfully pretends to be a teenager, it's totally okay for them to date.
 
2012-06-12 08:50:33 AM
Of course it's department policy never to imply ownership in the event of a fake, flesh-colored penis... always use the indefinite article: "a fake, flesh-colored penis", never "your fake, flesh-colored penis".
 
2012-06-12 08:55:58 AM
Is the followup tag broken?

I thought the first article linked on Fark was better because it had interviews with "A's" male friends who called this chick out for being a chick...
 
2012-06-12 09:04:01 AM
i.cdn.turner.com

i39.tinypic.com
 
2012-06-12 09:18:41 AM

Boatmech: Lionel Mandrake: HotWingAgenda: I distinctly remember reading about this exact same situation happening in England with a different chick earlier this year.

THANK YOU! I thought it sounded familiar

There was a movie in the early/mid 80's (I think) about some chick posing as a guy in high school. Can't remember the name, just remember her ripping her Tux/shirt open and BOOBIES!


One of the Guys...
I only know about it because my brother was an extra in the movie.
/chick was apparently boinking Bruce Springsteen on the set between takes
//I would have done the same
 
2012-06-12 09:19:09 AM

LazerFish: King Missile has been one of my favorite bands for years. I'm from West Virginia, and i could care less about the story, only that i have the chance to post this for the uninitated:
King Missile - The Miracle of Childbirth (So very very nsfw)


That song makes me sad. Sad, because I'd been going through life not knowing it existed until you linked it. What else is out there of equal wonderfulness, of which I am unaware? What, I ask you?
 
2012-06-12 09:32:40 AM

Satanus Maximus: "During the group's stay at the motel, "'Wilson' digitally penetrated A.L.'s vagina," Talkington charged."

Digitally penetrated, eh? Amazing how everything is going digital these days!


I still prefer good old-fashioned analog penetration...
 
2012-06-12 09:43:21 AM
I don't describe my penis as flesh-colored. I describe it as Bandaide-colored.
 
2012-06-12 09:49:34 AM

JackieRabbit: I don't describe my penis as flesh-colored. I describe it as Bandaide-colored.


I describe my flesh as penis-colored.
 
2012-06-12 10:17:25 AM
i.chzbgr.com
 
2012-06-12 10:21:54 AM

Mr. Pokeylope: I hear that Martin Scorsese is making a movie about the incident...


Outstanding reference, but the censored version of that song is so frustrating to hear. The original (NSFW) is so much more powerful and funny.

King Missile rocks. Now I have to queue up their entire catalog...
 
2012-06-12 10:24:30 AM
Oh I'll take a boyish girl anytime. (also called a "boi")
 
2012-06-12 10:36:22 AM

Benjamin Orr: [i.cdn.turner.com image 300x350]

[i39.tinypic.com image 448x329]


Twwwoooooo dooooolllllarrrsssss!!!
 
2012-06-12 10:47:13 AM
since this was actually a woman, that makes it all OK
 
2012-06-12 10:59:37 AM

Ed Finnerty: Well, it's no modified paper towel holder.


Came for this and to say wow, just...wow.
 
2012-06-12 11:05:00 AM
John Hopoate:

missed ya in the thread by searching "Gary." alas...
 
2012-06-12 11:08:13 AM

Gyrfalcon: Because People in power are Stupid: a 15-year-old girl who was unaware that the boyfriend she met online was actually a female,

Was she blind?

Know how I can tell you didn't read the article?

[i.cdn.turner.com image 300x350]

That's a man, baby! Only, I guess it isn't.


That doesn't look like a dude.
 
2012-06-12 11:36:31 AM

Matthew Keene: Bongo Blue: Satanus Maximus: "During the group's stay at the motel, "'Wilson' digitally penetrated A.L.'s vagina," Talkington charged."

Digitally penetrated, eh? Amazing how everything is going digital these days!

Digital = finger
so...go on

I once read about a girl named Alice

Used a dynamite stick as a phallus

They found her vagina in North Carolina

And the rest of poor Alice in Dallas


Bonus points to whomever can locate the epicenter of the blast.
 
2012-06-12 11:44:22 AM

Theaetetus: Hads--posing as a 17-year-old boy named "James Puryear Wilson"--met the teenage girl on an unnamed "social networking site" around October 2010.
"Wilson" maintained Facebook and MySpace pages that described him as a "youth pastor" living in Quincy, Massachusetts (where Hads actually resides). On Facebook, "Wilson" claimed to be the father of twins

17 year old father of twins? Why would you think that's a good fake persona for picking up chicks?

A subsequent rendezvous was arranged by the girl's mother, who accompanied her daughter (and two other teenage girls) to meet "Wilson" at a Pennsylvania motel about 100 miles from the family's West Virginia residence.

... oh, right. Because apparently it works on both the girl and her mother.

/facepalm


the best lies are the ones no one would think you would lie about.

CSB

When I was 19 in college, I went to a few State Representatives partys. I'd come in when no one was really paying attention, pick up a beer and started drinking and chatting with all of the Senators, etc. that were there. I brought along my younger looking friend and when security asked him who he was with, he'd point to me and say, "Mr. Gabrielmot. Have you met him? He's really a nice guy, let me introduce you."

Shaking hands with and talking to Senators about bills they had in progress made me fit in real well. I remembered their names and introduced them to local businessmen. No one really had a clue who I was. I guess they figured no one would have the balls to walk into a State Representative party uninvited, much less someone who was underage drinking.

Long story short, if you get bored and want some harmless fun, make shiat up.

The best I ever saw someone do was my best friend... He convinced girls he was a Nascar driver, an Astronaut, and a hostage negotiator. Where I was good with authority figures and politicians, he figured women out. And not the "haha.. this guy is cute, I'll go along with his story.." No, the call home and tell my mom I'm dating an Astronaut kind of convinced.

end CSB
 
2012-06-12 11:54:51 AM

Gabrielmot: Theaetetus: Hads--posing as a 17-year-old boy named "James Puryear Wilson"--met the teenage girl on an unnamed "social networking site" around October 2010.
"Wilson" maintained Facebook and MySpace pages that described him as a "youth pastor" living in Quincy, Massachusetts (where Hads actually resides). On Facebook, "Wilson" claimed to be the father of twins

17 year old father of twins? Why would you think that's a good fake persona for picking up chicks?

A subsequent rendezvous was arranged by the girl's mother, who accompanied her daughter (and two other teenage girls) to meet "Wilson" at a Pennsylvania motel about 100 miles from the family's West Virginia residence.

... oh, right. Because apparently it works on both the girl and her mother.

/facepalm

the best lies are the ones no one would think you would lie about.

CSB

When I was 19 in college, I went to a few State Representatives partys. I'd come in when no one was really paying attention, pick up a beer and started drinking and chatting with all of the Senators, etc. that were there. I brought along my younger looking friend and when security asked him who he was with, he'd point to me and say, "Mr. Gabrielmot. Have you met him? He's really a nice guy, let me introduce you."

Shaking hands with and talking to Senators about bills they had in progress made me fit in real well. I remembered their names and introduced them to local businessmen. No one really had a clue who I was. I guess they figured no one would have the balls to walk into a State Representative party uninvited, much less someone who was underage drinking.

Long story short, if you get bored and want some harmless fun, make shiat up.

The best I ever saw someone do was my best friend... He convinced girls he was a Nascar driver, an Astronaut, and a hostage negotiator. Where I was good with authority figures and politicians, he figured women out. And not the "haha.. this guy is cute, I'll go along with his story.." No, the call home and ...


I guess I should qualify, I never actually *lied* to anyone with my exploits (like my friend did). I actually explored the "let someone paint their own picture" and "answer questions truthfully without giving yourself away" kind of thinking.

-That actually ended up being what caused my friend and I to have a fallout later on. My morals about not lying (just letting people believe what they wanted to) and his lying techniques came to an ugly head one day and ended our friendship.
 
2012-06-12 12:11:00 PM

Matthew Keene: I once read about a girl named Alice

Used a dynamite stick as a phallus

They found her vagina in North Carolina

And the rest of poor Alice in Dallas


And her asshole at Buckingham Palace

/how I always heard it
 
2012-06-12 12:11:21 PM

illannoyin: Is that the brunette from Garfunkel and Oates?


Kate Micucci is way better looking as evidenced below:

mr.comingsoon.it
 
2012-06-12 01:12:06 PM

TenJed_77: Fluorescent Testicle: MrEricSir: Meh, gender identity issues can lead to some odd situations, but there's nothing particularly weird about this story.

Parentally-approved paedophilia isn't weird to you?

No, when I was 23 a lady I worked with kept trying to set my up with her daughter who was only 16 or 17.
I had a job and I was going to college, where as the guys her daughter was dating didn't.
/people are strange
//also why I wanted nothing to do with an adolescent


I actually had the same thing happen in college. On some weekends I would go with my college roomate to his brothers. He lived in southern Maryland on the water and had an awesome setup. He had one of thos prefab metal buildings on his property and it was part garage and part bar. He was an electrician so it was wred up nice with an awesome sound system lights, pool table darts and tons of booze. Well we hung out there a lot and the whole neighborhood hung out there on the weekends. Some of his neighbors wanted to know if I wanted to date their 15 yr old daughter, I was 21 at the time, it realy made me uncomfortable. But the worst was them getting mad at me when I politely declined. And she was very good looking like the jailbait pics people post here. But I could see no good coming from it. I didnt go back much after that.
 
2012-06-12 02:09:25 PM
Don't forget about THIS ONE

Third time now, this is getting weird.
 
2012-06-12 04:50:47 PM
Oznog: "Law and Order" is not a documentary.

I'm just saying, if it happened enough in the past for it to make it onto a Law and Order episode, just how "weird" can it be these days?

Sick, yes, weird, not so much.
 
2012-06-12 05:56:43 PM

rightylefty: Mr. Pokeylope: I hear that Martin Scorsese is making a movie about the incident...

Outstanding reference, but the censored version of that song is so frustrating to hear. The original (NSFW) is so much more powerful and funny.

King Missile rocks. Now I have to queue up their entire catalog...


Damn... didn't realize I posted the censored one :(

hadn't heard any of the songs off of The Psychopathology of Everyday Life before. Glad I showed up for this thread.

Missile fan since junior high school (mid-30's now).
 
2012-06-12 06:15:13 PM

lordargent: Oznog: "Law and Order" is not a documentary.

I'm just saying, if it happened enough in the past for it to make it onto a Law and Order episode, just how "weird" can it be these days?

Sick, yes, weird, not so much.


failblog.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-06-13 01:21:53 AM
Mr. Pokeylope

Reread

I'm just saying, if it happened enough in the past for it to make it onto a Law and Order episode

// IE, it happened enough, that the writers for Law and Order noticed it and wrote it into an episode.

When a TV show writer notices something and writes it into an episode, can it really be considered that weird anymore?

Like the furry episode in CSI New York, Or the second life episode. Things that had been around for years and years before they ended up on TV.
 
2012-06-13 02:56:15 AM

kmmontandon: ... who the hell is King Missile?


King Missile - Detachable Penis
 
2012-06-13 05:54:59 AM
Someone had to post it...
farm5.staticflickr.com
 
2012-06-13 11:01:32 AM

Mr. Pokeylope: rightylefty: Mr. Pokeylope: I hear that Martin Scorsese is making a movie about the incident...

Outstanding reference, but the censored version of that song is so frustrating to hear. The original (NSFW) is so much more powerful and funny.

King Missile rocks. Now I have to queue up their entire catalog...

Damn... didn't realize I posted the censored one :(

hadn't heard any of the songs off of The Psychopathology of Everyday Life before. Glad I showed up for this thread.

Missile fan since junior high school (mid-30's now).


My favorite track from Psychopathology: NSFW Regardless of any political intent, it's good for those days when things just ain't right.
 
2012-06-14 12:43:13 AM

RobSeace: Satanus Maximus: "During the group's stay at the motel, "'Wilson' digitally penetrated A.L.'s vagina," Talkington charged."

Digitally penetrated, eh? Amazing how everything is going digital these days!

I still prefer good old-fashioned analog penetration...


Uhm... really? Well, to each their own, I guess.
 
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