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(The Smoking Gun)   King Missile's biggest fan arrested with "fake, flesh-colored penis" in her front pocket. But that's not even the weird part   (thesmokinggun.com) divider line 135
    More: Weird, Carissa Hads, Internet Crimes Against Children, flight risk, pockets, TSG  
•       •       •

20530 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Jun 2012 at 12:08 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



135 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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Archived thread
 
2012-06-11 07:00:47 PM
But that's not even the weird part

No shiat. Crikey.
 
2012-06-11 08:44:16 PM
On a Mexican... woah! woah! ...radio.
 
2012-06-11 09:02:37 PM
a 15-year-old girl who was unaware that the boyfriend she met online was actually a female,

Was she blind?
 
2012-06-11 09:06:47 PM
Well, it's no modified paper towel holder.
 
2012-06-11 09:13:21 PM
So the 15 yr old's mom was totally OK with her daughter being penised, until she found out the penis was detachable? Not really helping with West Virginia's reputation.
 
2012-06-11 09:18:23 PM

reported: So the 15 yr old's mom was totally OK with her daughter being penised, until she found out the penis was detachable? Not really helping with West Virginia's reputation.


Maybe she was hoping her daughter would get pregnant and she could git 'er married off

/had the formal shotgun polished, and ever'thang
 
2012-06-11 10:08:34 PM
Did she find it on Second Avenue towards St. Mark's Place, where all those people sell used books and other junk on the street?
 
2012-06-11 11:15:33 PM
... who the hell is King Missile?
 
2012-06-12 12:10:47 AM
YEESH!
Glad they threw the book at that crazy coontnus
 
2012-06-12 12:14:22 AM
Boys don't cry
 
2012-06-12 12:14:26 AM

Because People in power are Stupid: a 15-year-old girl who was unaware that the boyfriend she met online was actually a female,

Was she blind?


Know how I can tell you didn't read the article?

i.cdn.turner.com

That's a man, baby! Only, I guess it isn't.
 
2012-06-12 12:15:40 AM
I distinctly remember reading about this exact same situation happening in England with a different chick earlier this year.
 
2012-06-12 12:17:02 AM

reported: So the 15 yr old's mom was totally OK with her daughter being penised, until she found out the penis was detachable? Not really helping with West Virginia's reputation.


HA HA your Mom's a pimp
 
2012-06-12 12:17:15 AM

HotWingAgenda: I distinctly remember reading about this exact same situation happening in England with a different chick earlier this year.


THANK YOU! I thought it sounded familiar
 
2012-06-12 12:18:08 AM

make me some tea: But that's not even the weird part


It's detachable.
 
2012-06-12 12:23:20 AM

Lionel Mandrake: HotWingAgenda: I distinctly remember reading about this exact same situation happening in England with a different chick earlier this year.

THANK YOU! I thought it sounded familiar


There was a movie in the early/mid 80's (I think) about some chick posing as a guy in high school. Can't remember the name, just remember her ripping her Tux/shirt open and BOOBIES!
 
2012-06-12 12:25:04 AM
She just needs to be double-farked by two black studs.
 
2012-06-12 12:25:29 AM
Damn,t guess I'm going to have to RTFA to figure this out.
 
2012-06-12 12:26:19 AM
Hads--posing as a 17-year-old boy named "James Puryear Wilson"--met the teenage girl on an unnamed "social networking site" around October 2010.
"Wilson" maintained Facebook and MySpace pages that described him as a "youth pastor" living in Quincy, Massachusetts (where Hads actually resides). On Facebook, "Wilson" claimed to be the father of twins


17 year old father of twins? Why would you think that's a good fake persona for picking up chicks?

A subsequent rendezvous was arranged by the girl's mother, who accompanied her daughter (and two other teenage girls) to meet "Wilson" at a Pennsylvania motel about 100 miles from the family's West Virginia residence.

... oh, right. Because apparently it works on both the girl and her mother.

/facepalm
 
2012-06-12 12:27:05 AM

kmmontandon: ... who the hell is King Missile?


Jesus Was Way Cool

Take Stuff From Work

Cheesecake Truck

Not really easy stuff to sum up, I guess I'd say they're a bit folksy, they do some jazzy stuff, some rock, the lyrics are toneless and mostly about stories or basic life experiences. It's not pretentious. Really fun music in my opinion. Cheesecake Truck is hilarious and has a great jaunty keyboard.
 
2012-06-12 12:27:27 AM

Boatmech: Lionel Mandrake: HotWingAgenda: I distinctly remember reading about this exact same situation happening in England with a different chick earlier this year.

THANK YOU! I thought it sounded familiar

There was a movie in the early/mid 80's (I think) about some chick posing as a guy in high school. Can't remember the name, just remember her ripping her Tux/shirt open and BOOBIES!


One of the guys

Or something similar.
 
2012-06-12 12:28:23 AM

Lionel Mandrake: HotWingAgenda: I distinctly remember reading about this exact same situation happening in England with a different chick earlier this year.

THANK YOU! I thought it sounded familiar


I can't find the Fark thread, but here's the story:

Link
 
2012-06-12 12:28:32 AM
I'll be in my bunk.


fap!
 
2012-06-12 12:28:33 AM
I too have a flesh-colored penis but it kinda goes a bit red and ruddy when it gets hard.

You try doing that with your fake penis, you girly-man-girl-thing.
 
2012-06-12 12:28:42 AM
Well that didn't take long 24 year old with a 15 year old.
Um am I missing something?
 
2012-06-12 12:30:14 AM
Love that riff,,,
 
2012-06-12 12:30:15 AM
Is that the brunette from Garfunkel and Oates?

www.superseriousshow.comi.cdn.turner.com
 
2012-06-12 12:32:14 AM
Wow, just w--you know what? Fark it. Fark has desensitized me to stories like this.

Meh. Just meh.
 
2012-06-12 12:34:10 AM
Theaetetus:

Meant to favorite you ages ago. Belatedly done, with a "rational" tag.
 
2012-06-12 12:34:43 AM
img69.imageshack.us
Only on Fark
It's about People helping People
find articles about detachable penises
 
2012-06-12 12:35:17 AM

tinyarena: [img69.imageshack.us image 640x196]
Only on Fark
It's about People helping People
find articles about detachable penises


Wow. Just Wow.
 
2012-06-12 12:37:35 AM
Justin Bieber has fallen on hard times.
 
2012-06-12 12:38:37 AM

EatYourVitamins: Boatmech: Lionel Mandrake: HotWingAgenda: I distinctly remember reading about this exact same situation happening in England with a different chick earlier this year.

THANK YOU! I thought it sounded familiar

There was a movie in the early/mid 80's (I think) about some chick posing as a guy in high school. Can't remember the name, just remember her ripping her Tux/shirt open and BOOBIES!

One of the guys

Or something similar.


Yeah, found it -
Border line NSFW
I must have watched that movie 20 times and that is the only scene I remember.
 
2012-06-12 12:39:12 AM
I hear that Martin Scorsese is making a movie about the incident...
 
2012-06-12 12:42:13 AM
"During the group's stay at the motel, "'Wilson' digitally penetrated A.L.'s vagina," Talkington charged."

Digitally penetrated, eh? Amazing how everything is going digital these days!
 
2012-06-12 12:48:53 AM

Mr. Pokeylope: I hear that Martin Scorsese is making a movie about the incident...


My favourite King Missile song!

/HE MAKES THE BEST FILMS
 
2012-06-12 12:49:56 AM

Satanus Maximus: "During the group's stay at the motel, "'Wilson' digitally penetrated A.L.'s vagina," Talkington charged."

Digitally penetrated, eh? Amazing how everything is going digital these days!


www.virtualworldlets.net
The various advances in teledildonics are making it possible for lovers on opposite sides of the world to connect, including our valiant troops in Afghanistan and their spouses back home. Yes, our boys in the lab are leading the way forwards, backwards, forwards into the future!
 
2012-06-12 12:54:24 AM

illannoyin: Is that the brunette from Garfunkel and Oates?

[www.superseriousshow.com image 600x397][i.cdn.turner.com image 300x350]


i.cdn.turner.comfarm1.static.flickr.com

Get your nunchuks and your dad's car. I know where we can get a gun.

/It's kind of... exciting. I feel like... Chuck Norris, y'know?
 
2012-06-12 12:59:59 AM
man this is the one time when I wished the woman was actually one of the crazy farkin guys we have so many articles on. then she would of been he and then he would of been she and things would of actually worked out
 
2012-06-12 01:02:02 AM
 
2012-06-12 01:03:17 AM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: reported: So the 15 yr old's mom was totally OK with her daughter being penised, until she found out the penis was detachable? Not really helping with West Virginia's reputation.

Maybe she was hoping her daughter would get pregnant and she could git 'er married off on welfare


/FTFY
 
2012-06-12 01:04:58 AM
Never stick your detachable penis in crazy?
 
2012-06-12 01:06:24 AM
FTFA: "social networking site"

Why did they write that in quotes?
 
2012-06-12 01:10:18 AM
Sounds like that chick has a little dude in her .............(pocket)
 
2012-06-12 01:10:21 AM
Meh, gender identity issues can lead to some odd situations, but there's nothing particularly weird about this story.
 
2012-06-12 01:10:45 AM
i.cdn.turner.com

Yesterday
All my troubles seemed so far away
Now it looks as thought they're here to stay
Oh, I believe in yesterday
 
2012-06-12 01:13:48 AM

MrEricSir: Meh, gender identity issues can lead to some odd situations, but there's nothing particularly weird about this story.


Parentally-approved paedophilia isn't weird to you?
 
ecl
2012-06-12 01:13:55 AM
I woke up this morning with a bad hangover
And my penis was missing again.
This happens all the time.
It's detachable.
This comes in handy a lot of the time.
I can leave it home, when I think it's gonna get me in trouble,
or I can rent it out, when I don't need it.
But now and then I go to a party, get drunk,
and the next morning I can't for the life of me
remember what I did with it.
First I looked around my apartment, and I couldn't find it.
So I called up the place where the party was,
they hadn't seen it either.
I asked them to check the medicine cabinet
'cause for some reason I leave it there sometimes
But not this time.
So I told them if it pops up to let me know.
I called a few people who were at the party,
but they were no help either.
I was starting to get desperate.
I really don't like being without my penis for too long.
It makes me feel like less of a man,
and I really hate having to sit down every time I take a leak.
After a few hours of searching the house,
and calling everyone I could think of,
I was starting to get very depressed,
so I went to the Kiev, and ate breakfast.
Then, as I walked down Second Avenue towards St. Mark's Place,
where all those people sell used books and other junk on the street,
I saw my penis lying on a blanket
next to a broken toaster oven.
Some guy was selling it.
I had to buy it off him.
He wanted twenty-two bucks, but I talked him down to seventeen.
I took it home, washed it off,
and put it back on. I was happy again. Complete.
People sometimes tell me I should get it permanently attached,
but I don't know.
Even though sometimes it's a pain in the ass,
I like having a detachable penis.
 
2012-06-12 01:15:56 AM
www.mymodelships.com

Wow. Just wow.
 
2012-06-12 01:21:35 AM

Fluorescent Testicle: Parentally-approved paedophilia isn't weird to you?


We don't know if the mother was even aware of the age difference.
 
2012-06-12 01:21:56 AM
i45.tinypic.com

i47.tinypic.com
 
2012-06-12 01:26:31 AM
albumcovers.files.wordpress.com


Theaetetus: Satanus Maximus: "During the group's stay at the motel, "'Wilson' digitally penetrated A.L.'s vagina," Talkington charged."

Digitally penetrated, eh? Amazing how everything is going digital these days!

[www.virtualworldlets.net image 640x426]
The various advances in teledildonics are making it possible for lovers on opposite sides of the world to connect, including our valiant troops in Afghanistan and their spouses back home. Yes, our boys in the lab are leading the way forwards, backwards, forwards into the future!


WIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!
 
2012-06-12 01:28:00 AM
I'm hung up on the use of the word "fake" here. It sounds like a pejorative detail.

But really, I have to imagine a girl with a REAL penis in her pocket would be far scarier, and illegaller.
 
2012-06-12 01:45:46 AM
Wow. Just.....wow.
 
2012-06-12 01:47:44 AM
Older lesbians having sex with 15 year old girls? No that's spiffy!
 
2012-06-12 01:52:21 AM

Fluorescent Testicle: MrEricSir: Meh, gender identity issues can lead to some odd situations, but there's nothing particularly weird about this story.

Parentally-approved paedophilia isn't weird to you?


No, when I was 23 a lady I worked with kept trying to set my up with her daughter who was only 16 or 17.
I had a job and I was going to college, where as the guys her daughter was dating didn't.
/people are strange
//also why I wanted nothing to do with an adolescent
 
2012-06-12 01:57:58 AM

kmmontandon: ... who the hell is King Missile?


Kuoxasar: kmmontandon: ... who the hell is King Missile?

Jesus Was Way Cool

Take Stuff From Work

Cheesecake Truck

Not really easy stuff to sum up, I guess I'd say they're a bit folksy, they do some jazzy stuff, some rock, the lyrics are toneless and mostly about stories or basic life experiences. It's not pretentious. Really fun music in my opinion. Cheesecake Truck is hilarious and has a great jaunty keyboard.


You didn't link....detachable penis...'cause you know sometime he rented it out...
 
2012-06-12 02:07:27 AM
You can catch two or three of King Missile's videos on the early seasons of Beavis and Butthead...

/Did he say he had a touchable penis?!
 
2012-06-12 02:38:05 AM

Boatmech: Lionel Mandrake: HotWingAgenda: I distinctly remember reading about this exact same situation happening in England with a different chick earlier this year.

THANK YOU! I thought it sounded familiar

There was a movie in the early/mid 80's (I think) about some chick posing as a guy in high school. Can't remember the name, just remember her ripping her Tux/shirt open and BOOBIES!


Just one of the guys
 
2012-06-12 02:41:35 AM
IT'S PAUL MCCARTNEY!!
 
2012-06-12 02:46:37 AM
Why the emphasis on 'flesh-colored'? Aren't all penises flesh colored? They should have just said "penis-colored"
 
2012-06-12 02:52:28 AM

Kuoxasar: kmmontandon: ... who the hell is King Missile?

Jesus Was Way Cool

Take Stuff From Work

Cheesecake Truck

Not really easy stuff to sum up, I guess I'd say they're a bit folksy, they do some jazzy stuff, some rock, the lyrics are toneless and mostly about stories or basic life experiences. It's not pretentious. Really fun music in my opinion. Cheesecake Truck is hilarious and has a great jaunty keyboard.


I'd forgotten about Take Stuff From Work somehow. Amusing little song.

/ Take stuff from work. And goof-off on the company time. I wrote this at work; they're paying me to write about things I steal from them. Life is good.
 
2012-06-12 03:20:38 AM
Shoulda changed their names to Garry and Melissa

Then to heighten their passion
They bought sex toys
Ben-wa balls
French ticklers
Nipple clamps
Cock rings
Whips and chains and bondage gear
Bowling balls
Dildos
Vibrators
Watermelons
Commemorative Statuettes of Liberty
Anything
They were really turned on for awhile

Link
 
2012-06-12 03:27:36 AM
The original thread will forever live in my mind's infamy. So weird that it's not only happened again, but ended up in the news. This MUST be more commonplace than we thought, eh?
 
2012-06-12 03:31:30 AM

Chariset: Why the emphasis on 'flesh-colored'? Aren't all penises flesh colored? They should have just said "penis-colored"


Whose flesh is it colored like?

thesocietypages.org
 
2012-06-12 03:35:26 AM

Cthulhu_is_my_homeboy: Wow, just w--you know what? Fark it. Fark has desensitized me to stories like this.

Meh. Just meh.


The faux boy should be pitied. Sex was a waste of time for her, she couldn't feel a thing through her fake cock.
 
2012-06-12 03:35:56 AM

Britney Spear's Speculum: [www.mymodelships.com image 336x429]

Wow. Just wow.


this took altogether too long.

\wow... just wow.
 
2012-06-12 03:36:53 AM

Cthulhu_is_my_homeboy: Wow, just w--you know what? Fark it. Fark has desensitized me to stories like this.

Meh. Just meh.


oh yah?

daddy. my eyes!
 
2012-06-12 04:30:43 AM
This is less "Detachable Penis" and more "Boys Don't Cry"
 
2012-06-12 04:37:53 AM
There was this one from the Cincinnati area.

Link
 
2012-06-12 04:40:25 AM

Satanus Maximus: "During the group's stay at the motel, "'Wilson' digitally penetrated A.L.'s vagina," Talkington charged."

Digitally penetrated, eh? Amazing how everything is going digital these days!


Digital = finger
so...go on
 
2012-06-12 04:46:21 AM

Bongo Blue: Satanus Maximus: "During the group's stay at the motel, "'Wilson' digitally penetrated A.L.'s vagina," Talkington charged."

Digitally penetrated, eh? Amazing how everything is going digital these days!

Digital = finger
so...go on


I once read about a girl named Alice

Used a dynamite stick as a phallus

They found her vagina in North Carolina

And the rest of poor Alice in Dallas
 
2012-06-12 05:01:08 AM

Ed Finnerty: Well, it's no modified paper towel holder.


Wow... just wow.
 
2012-06-12 05:04:04 AM
But that's not even the weird part

The weird part is that I swear this was already a Law & Order SVU Episode.

[scanning]
 
2012-06-12 05:06:57 AM
Bam

http://lawandorder.wikia.com/wiki/Pretend

28 year old pretending to be a 16 year old, going to high school, dating young boys and living in foster care.
 
2012-06-12 05:13:42 AM
does anybody remember a song about jesus playing in a rockin little band from Galilee with a halo round his penis....
Standing on the sea,bringing the crowd to their feet with smoke on the water...
 
2012-06-12 05:32:21 AM

bahknee: Chariset: Why the emphasis on 'flesh-colored'? Aren't all penises flesh colored? They should have just said "penis-colored"

Whose flesh is it colored like?

[thesocietypages.org image 500x320]


s3-ak.buzzfed.com
 
2012-06-12 05:41:12 AM

lordargent: Bam

http://lawandorder.wikia.com/wiki/Pretend

28 year old pretending to be a 16 year old, going to high school, dating young boys and living in foster care.


"Law and Order" is not a documentary.

But there have been a few cases of adults pretending to be children and enroll in high school:
Link
Link

WHY they do this is hard to understand, unless he thinks it's a good way to get some underage action. I think it's possible to do primarily because the idea is so absurd, no one would suspect that's what's actually going on.
 
2012-06-12 05:42:04 AM

butt-nuggets: Yesterday
All my troubles seemed so far away
Now it looks as thought they're here to stay
Oh, I believe in yesterday


Yeah, that's what I was thinking, too.
 
2012-06-12 05:46:52 AM
I hope they used protecti... oh, nevermind.

Hmmmmm, the things I could do if mine was detactable! (never leave the house, etc.)

/This bunk ain't big enough for the two of us
 
2012-06-12 05:58:51 AM
 
2012-06-12 05:59:36 AM
Is it wrong that I find this story to be kind of hot?
 
2012-06-12 06:12:39 AM
But that's not even the weird part

FTA: In December 2011, after communicating for 14 months, "Wilson" asked to meet "A.L." in person. A subsequent rendezvous was arranged by the girl's mother, who accompanied her daughter (and two other teenage girls) to meet "Wilson" at a Pennsylvania motel about 100 miles from the family's West Virginia residence.

I'm not even quite sure what to call "the weird part" here. So many to choose from...
 
2012-06-12 06:12:49 AM

Petit_Merdeux: bahknee: Chariset: Why the emphasis on 'flesh-colored'? Aren't all penises flesh colored? They should have just said "penis-colored"

Whose flesh is it colored like?

[thesocietypages.org image 500x320]

[s3-ak.buzzfed.com image 425x563]


Thank you I always loved this one
 
2012-06-12 06:19:11 AM

Oznog: lordargent: Bam

http://lawandorder.wikia.com/wiki/Pretend

28 year old pretending to be a 16 year old, going to high school, dating young boys and living in foster care.

"Law and Order" is not a documentary.

But there have been a few cases of adults pretending to be children and enroll in high school:
Link
Link

WHY they do this is hard to understand, unless he thinks it's a good way to get some underage action. I think it's possible to do primarily because the idea is so absurd, no one would suspect that's what's actually going on.


and mentally disturbed ...
 
2012-06-12 06:23:19 AM

SkunkWerks: So many to choose from...


FTA: "'Wilson' digitally penetrated A.L.'s vagina,"

Is this some new form of espionage?
 
2012-06-12 07:04:46 AM

bahknee: Chariset: Why the emphasis on 'flesh-colored'? Aren't all penises flesh colored? They should have just said "penis-colored"

Whose flesh is it colored like?

[thesocietypages.org image 500x320]


I still have a couple of those somewhere.

Flesh Crayola would be a good name for a band.
 
2012-06-12 07:08:07 AM

thamike: Flesh Crayola would be a good name for a band.


'Skin Flesh'

Or maybe 'Limozeen'

www.hrwiki.org
 
2012-06-12 07:18:34 AM
What amazes me is that the underage-girl-in-question is so naive that she didn't pick up on the fact that THIS WAS NOT A REAL BOY...

Took her non-involved friend to point out that Things Were Not What They Seemed...

Imagine having to live with that...
 
2012-06-12 07:21:08 AM

syzygy whizz: NOT A REAL BOY.


maizein.files.wordpress.com

Carissa explains it all?
 
2012-06-12 07:31:33 AM
Are you kidding me?

"The criminal probe of Hads was triggered by a tip"
 
2012-06-12 07:34:28 AM

Fluorescent Testicle: Parentally-approved paedophilia isn't weird to you?


The mother, like the girl, thought Carissa was a 17 y/o boy. I don't think it's unheard of for a mother to allow a 17 y/o boy to date her 15 y/o girl.
 
2012-06-12 07:41:40 AM

Kiribub: Are you kidding me?

"The criminal probe of Hads was triggered by a tip"


It always starts with just the tip.
 
2012-06-12 07:48:48 AM

Kiribub: Are you kidding me?

"The criminal probe of Hads was triggered by a tip"


fapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfap
....go on....
 
2012-06-12 07:50:25 AM
There was an exact same scenario that played out in Cincinnati a year or two ago. This chick wound up in California and got busted for the very same thing again IIRC.
 
2012-06-12 07:53:02 AM
www.fwweekly.com
data.whicdn.com
www.lapatilla.com
"Brandon, why don't you take your pants off while we have sex?"
'Well, then I couldn't stick my fake penis through the zipper hole and...Uh, I mean I just really like them!"

That scene doesn't make me cry. Well...it doesn't make me cry tears
/Hillary Swank kissing Chloë Sevigny. Mmmmmm.
 
2012-06-12 08:01:20 AM
How could someone not realize that was a chick? It's freakin' obvious!
 
2012-06-12 08:07:00 AM

Lionel Mandrake: HotWingAgenda: I distinctly remember reading about this exact same situation happening in England with a different chick earlier this year.

THANK YOU! I thought it sounded familiar


England: The West Virginia of Europe.
 
2012-06-12 08:21:42 AM

Kuoxasar: kmmontandon: ... who the hell is King Missile?

Jesus Was Way Cool

Take Stuff From Work

Cheesecake Truck

Not really easy stuff to sum up, I guess I'd say they're a bit folksy, they do some jazzy stuff, some rock, the lyrics are toneless and mostly about stories or basic life experiences. It's not pretentious. Really fun music in my opinion. Cheesecake Truck is hilarious and has a great jaunty keyboard.


I've always been partial to this one. NOT SAFE FOR WORK
 
2012-06-12 08:21:59 AM

Satanus Maximus: "During the group's stay at the motel, "'Wilson' digitally penetrated A.L.'s vagina," Talkington charged."

Digitally penetrated, eh? Amazing how everything is going digital these days!


For some reason that reminds me of that one lame Prince video with the male and female symbols flying in and out of one another

/too lazy to look up which video that was...
 
2012-06-12 08:29:08 AM
more relevant-esque King Missile: "Gary and Melissa"
--some NSFW language (and flute)

Link
 
2012-06-12 08:39:39 AM
King Missile has been one of my favorite bands for years. I'm from West Virginia, and i could care less about the story, only that i have the chance to post this for the uninitated:
King Missile - The Miracle of Childbirth (So very very nsfw)
 
2012-06-12 08:45:29 AM
So one female used a strap on on another female.
Sounds like normal lesbian porn to me.
 
2012-06-12 08:49:34 AM
upload.wikimedia.org

images.amazon.com

Yet in cinema we're taught that if an adult successfully pretends to be a teenager, it's totally okay for them to date.
 
2012-06-12 08:50:33 AM
Of course it's department policy never to imply ownership in the event of a fake, flesh-colored penis... always use the indefinite article: "a fake, flesh-colored penis", never "your fake, flesh-colored penis".
 
2012-06-12 08:55:58 AM
Is the followup tag broken?

I thought the first article linked on Fark was better because it had interviews with "A's" male friends who called this chick out for being a chick...
 
2012-06-12 09:04:01 AM
i.cdn.turner.com

i39.tinypic.com
 
2012-06-12 09:18:41 AM

Boatmech: Lionel Mandrake: HotWingAgenda: I distinctly remember reading about this exact same situation happening in England with a different chick earlier this year.

THANK YOU! I thought it sounded familiar

There was a movie in the early/mid 80's (I think) about some chick posing as a guy in high school. Can't remember the name, just remember her ripping her Tux/shirt open and BOOBIES!


One of the Guys...
I only know about it because my brother was an extra in the movie.
/chick was apparently boinking Bruce Springsteen on the set between takes
//I would have done the same
 
2012-06-12 09:19:09 AM

LazerFish: King Missile has been one of my favorite bands for years. I'm from West Virginia, and i could care less about the story, only that i have the chance to post this for the uninitated:
King Missile - The Miracle of Childbirth (So very very nsfw)


That song makes me sad. Sad, because I'd been going through life not knowing it existed until you linked it. What else is out there of equal wonderfulness, of which I am unaware? What, I ask you?
 
2012-06-12 09:32:40 AM

Satanus Maximus: "During the group's stay at the motel, "'Wilson' digitally penetrated A.L.'s vagina," Talkington charged."

Digitally penetrated, eh? Amazing how everything is going digital these days!


I still prefer good old-fashioned analog penetration...
 
2012-06-12 09:43:21 AM
I don't describe my penis as flesh-colored. I describe it as Bandaide-colored.
 
2012-06-12 09:49:34 AM

JackieRabbit: I don't describe my penis as flesh-colored. I describe it as Bandaide-colored.


I describe my flesh as penis-colored.
 
2012-06-12 10:17:25 AM
i.chzbgr.com
 
2012-06-12 10:21:54 AM

Mr. Pokeylope: I hear that Martin Scorsese is making a movie about the incident...


Outstanding reference, but the censored version of that song is so frustrating to hear. The original (NSFW) is so much more powerful and funny.

King Missile rocks. Now I have to queue up their entire catalog...
 
2012-06-12 10:24:30 AM
Oh I'll take a boyish girl anytime. (also called a "boi")
 
2012-06-12 10:36:22 AM

Benjamin Orr: [i.cdn.turner.com image 300x350]

[i39.tinypic.com image 448x329]


Twwwoooooo dooooolllllarrrsssss!!!
 
2012-06-12 10:47:13 AM
since this was actually a woman, that makes it all OK
 
2012-06-12 10:59:37 AM

Ed Finnerty: Well, it's no modified paper towel holder.


Came for this and to say wow, just...wow.
 
2012-06-12 11:05:00 AM
John Hopoate:

missed ya in the thread by searching "Gary." alas...
 
2012-06-12 11:08:13 AM

Gyrfalcon: Because People in power are Stupid: a 15-year-old girl who was unaware that the boyfriend she met online was actually a female,

Was she blind?

Know how I can tell you didn't read the article?

[i.cdn.turner.com image 300x350]

That's a man, baby! Only, I guess it isn't.


That doesn't look like a dude.
 
2012-06-12 11:36:31 AM

Matthew Keene: Bongo Blue: Satanus Maximus: "During the group's stay at the motel, "'Wilson' digitally penetrated A.L.'s vagina," Talkington charged."

Digitally penetrated, eh? Amazing how everything is going digital these days!

Digital = finger
so...go on

I once read about a girl named Alice

Used a dynamite stick as a phallus

They found her vagina in North Carolina

And the rest of poor Alice in Dallas


Bonus points to whomever can locate the epicenter of the blast.
 
2012-06-12 11:44:22 AM

Theaetetus: Hads--posing as a 17-year-old boy named "James Puryear Wilson"--met the teenage girl on an unnamed "social networking site" around October 2010.
"Wilson" maintained Facebook and MySpace pages that described him as a "youth pastor" living in Quincy, Massachusetts (where Hads actually resides). On Facebook, "Wilson" claimed to be the father of twins

17 year old father of twins? Why would you think that's a good fake persona for picking up chicks?

A subsequent rendezvous was arranged by the girl's mother, who accompanied her daughter (and two other teenage girls) to meet "Wilson" at a Pennsylvania motel about 100 miles from the family's West Virginia residence.

... oh, right. Because apparently it works on both the girl and her mother.

/facepalm


the best lies are the ones no one would think you would lie about.

CSB

When I was 19 in college, I went to a few State Representatives partys. I'd come in when no one was really paying attention, pick up a beer and started drinking and chatting with all of the Senators, etc. that were there. I brought along my younger looking friend and when security asked him who he was with, he'd point to me and say, "Mr. Gabrielmot. Have you met him? He's really a nice guy, let me introduce you."

Shaking hands with and talking to Senators about bills they had in progress made me fit in real well. I remembered their names and introduced them to local businessmen. No one really had a clue who I was. I guess they figured no one would have the balls to walk into a State Representative party uninvited, much less someone who was underage drinking.

Long story short, if you get bored and want some harmless fun, make shiat up.

The best I ever saw someone do was my best friend... He convinced girls he was a Nascar driver, an Astronaut, and a hostage negotiator. Where I was good with authority figures and politicians, he figured women out. And not the "haha.. this guy is cute, I'll go along with his story.." No, the call home and tell my mom I'm dating an Astronaut kind of convinced.

end CSB
 
2012-06-12 11:54:51 AM

Gabrielmot: Theaetetus: Hads--posing as a 17-year-old boy named "James Puryear Wilson"--met the teenage girl on an unnamed "social networking site" around October 2010.
"Wilson" maintained Facebook and MySpace pages that described him as a "youth pastor" living in Quincy, Massachusetts (where Hads actually resides). On Facebook, "Wilson" claimed to be the father of twins

17 year old father of twins? Why would you think that's a good fake persona for picking up chicks?

A subsequent rendezvous was arranged by the girl's mother, who accompanied her daughter (and two other teenage girls) to meet "Wilson" at a Pennsylvania motel about 100 miles from the family's West Virginia residence.

... oh, right. Because apparently it works on both the girl and her mother.

/facepalm

the best lies are the ones no one would think you would lie about.

CSB

When I was 19 in college, I went to a few State Representatives partys. I'd come in when no one was really paying attention, pick up a beer and started drinking and chatting with all of the Senators, etc. that were there. I brought along my younger looking friend and when security asked him who he was with, he'd point to me and say, "Mr. Gabrielmot. Have you met him? He's really a nice guy, let me introduce you."

Shaking hands with and talking to Senators about bills they had in progress made me fit in real well. I remembered their names and introduced them to local businessmen. No one really had a clue who I was. I guess they figured no one would have the balls to walk into a State Representative party uninvited, much less someone who was underage drinking.

Long story short, if you get bored and want some harmless fun, make shiat up.

The best I ever saw someone do was my best friend... He convinced girls he was a Nascar driver, an Astronaut, and a hostage negotiator. Where I was good with authority figures and politicians, he figured women out. And not the "haha.. this guy is cute, I'll go along with his story.." No, the call home and ...


I guess I should qualify, I never actually *lied* to anyone with my exploits (like my friend did). I actually explored the "let someone paint their own picture" and "answer questions truthfully without giving yourself away" kind of thinking.

-That actually ended up being what caused my friend and I to have a fallout later on. My morals about not lying (just letting people believe what they wanted to) and his lying techniques came to an ugly head one day and ended our friendship.
 
2012-06-12 12:11:00 PM

Matthew Keene: I once read about a girl named Alice

Used a dynamite stick as a phallus

They found her vagina in North Carolina

And the rest of poor Alice in Dallas


And her asshole at Buckingham Palace

/how I always heard it
 
2012-06-12 12:11:21 PM

illannoyin: Is that the brunette from Garfunkel and Oates?


Kate Micucci is way better looking as evidenced below:

mr.comingsoon.it
 
2012-06-12 01:12:06 PM

TenJed_77: Fluorescent Testicle: MrEricSir: Meh, gender identity issues can lead to some odd situations, but there's nothing particularly weird about this story.

Parentally-approved paedophilia isn't weird to you?

No, when I was 23 a lady I worked with kept trying to set my up with her daughter who was only 16 or 17.
I had a job and I was going to college, where as the guys her daughter was dating didn't.
/people are strange
//also why I wanted nothing to do with an adolescent


I actually had the same thing happen in college. On some weekends I would go with my college roomate to his brothers. He lived in southern Maryland on the water and had an awesome setup. He had one of thos prefab metal buildings on his property and it was part garage and part bar. He was an electrician so it was wred up nice with an awesome sound system lights, pool table darts and tons of booze. Well we hung out there a lot and the whole neighborhood hung out there on the weekends. Some of his neighbors wanted to know if I wanted to date their 15 yr old daughter, I was 21 at the time, it realy made me uncomfortable. But the worst was them getting mad at me when I politely declined. And she was very good looking like the jailbait pics people post here. But I could see no good coming from it. I didnt go back much after that.
 
2012-06-12 02:09:25 PM
Don't forget about THIS ONE

Third time now, this is getting weird.
 
2012-06-12 04:50:47 PM
Oznog: "Law and Order" is not a documentary.

I'm just saying, if it happened enough in the past for it to make it onto a Law and Order episode, just how "weird" can it be these days?

Sick, yes, weird, not so much.
 
2012-06-12 05:56:43 PM

rightylefty: Mr. Pokeylope: I hear that Martin Scorsese is making a movie about the incident...

Outstanding reference, but the censored version of that song is so frustrating to hear. The original (NSFW) is so much more powerful and funny.

King Missile rocks. Now I have to queue up their entire catalog...


Damn... didn't realize I posted the censored one :(

hadn't heard any of the songs off of The Psychopathology of Everyday Life before. Glad I showed up for this thread.

Missile fan since junior high school (mid-30's now).
 
2012-06-12 06:15:13 PM

lordargent: Oznog: "Law and Order" is not a documentary.

I'm just saying, if it happened enough in the past for it to make it onto a Law and Order episode, just how "weird" can it be these days?

Sick, yes, weird, not so much.


failblog.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-06-13 01:21:53 AM
Mr. Pokeylope

Reread

I'm just saying, if it happened enough in the past for it to make it onto a Law and Order episode

// IE, it happened enough, that the writers for Law and Order noticed it and wrote it into an episode.

When a TV show writer notices something and writes it into an episode, can it really be considered that weird anymore?

Like the furry episode in CSI New York, Or the second life episode. Things that had been around for years and years before they ended up on TV.
 
2012-06-13 02:56:15 AM

kmmontandon: ... who the hell is King Missile?


King Missile - Detachable Penis
 
2012-06-13 05:54:59 AM
Someone had to post it...
farm5.staticflickr.com
 
2012-06-13 11:01:32 AM

Mr. Pokeylope: rightylefty: Mr. Pokeylope: I hear that Martin Scorsese is making a movie about the incident...

Outstanding reference, but the censored version of that song is so frustrating to hear. The original (NSFW) is so much more powerful and funny.

King Missile rocks. Now I have to queue up their entire catalog...

Damn... didn't realize I posted the censored one :(

hadn't heard any of the songs off of The Psychopathology of Everyday Life before. Glad I showed up for this thread.

Missile fan since junior high school (mid-30's now).


My favorite track from Psychopathology: NSFW Regardless of any political intent, it's good for those days when things just ain't right.
 
2012-06-14 12:43:13 AM

RobSeace: Satanus Maximus: "During the group's stay at the motel, "'Wilson' digitally penetrated A.L.'s vagina," Talkington charged."

Digitally penetrated, eh? Amazing how everything is going digital these days!

I still prefer good old-fashioned analog penetration...


Uhm... really? Well, to each their own, I guess.
 
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