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(The Smoking Gun)   King Missile's biggest fan arrested with "fake, flesh-colored penis" in her front pocket. But that's not even the weird part   (thesmokinggun.com) divider line 135
    More: Weird, Carissa Hads, Internet Crimes Against Children, flight risk, pockets, TSG  
•       •       •

20543 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Jun 2012 at 12:08 AM (3 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



135 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-06-12 01:21:56 AM  
i45.tinypic.com

i47.tinypic.com
 
2012-06-12 01:26:31 AM  
albumcovers.files.wordpress.com


Theaetetus: Satanus Maximus: "During the group's stay at the motel, "'Wilson' digitally penetrated A.L.'s vagina," Talkington charged."

Digitally penetrated, eh? Amazing how everything is going digital these days!

[www.virtualworldlets.net image 640x426]
The various advances in teledildonics are making it possible for lovers on opposite sides of the world to connect, including our valiant troops in Afghanistan and their spouses back home. Yes, our boys in the lab are leading the way forwards, backwards, forwards into the future!


WIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!
 
2012-06-12 01:28:00 AM  
I'm hung up on the use of the word "fake" here. It sounds like a pejorative detail.

But really, I have to imagine a girl with a REAL penis in her pocket would be far scarier, and illegaller.
 
2012-06-12 01:45:46 AM  
Wow. Just.....wow.
 
2012-06-12 01:47:44 AM  
Older lesbians having sex with 15 year old girls? No that's spiffy!
 
2012-06-12 01:52:21 AM  

Fluorescent Testicle: MrEricSir: Meh, gender identity issues can lead to some odd situations, but there's nothing particularly weird about this story.

Parentally-approved paedophilia isn't weird to you?


No, when I was 23 a lady I worked with kept trying to set my up with her daughter who was only 16 or 17.
I had a job and I was going to college, where as the guys her daughter was dating didn't.
/people are strange
//also why I wanted nothing to do with an adolescent
 
2012-06-12 01:57:58 AM  

kmmontandon: ... who the hell is King Missile?


Kuoxasar: kmmontandon: ... who the hell is King Missile?

Jesus Was Way Cool

Take Stuff From Work

Cheesecake Truck

Not really easy stuff to sum up, I guess I'd say they're a bit folksy, they do some jazzy stuff, some rock, the lyrics are toneless and mostly about stories or basic life experiences. It's not pretentious. Really fun music in my opinion. Cheesecake Truck is hilarious and has a great jaunty keyboard.


You didn't link....detachable penis...'cause you know sometime he rented it out...
 
2012-06-12 02:07:27 AM  
You can catch two or three of King Missile's videos on the early seasons of Beavis and Butthead...

/Did he say he had a touchable penis?!
 
2012-06-12 02:38:05 AM  

Boatmech: Lionel Mandrake: HotWingAgenda: I distinctly remember reading about this exact same situation happening in England with a different chick earlier this year.

THANK YOU! I thought it sounded familiar

There was a movie in the early/mid 80's (I think) about some chick posing as a guy in high school. Can't remember the name, just remember her ripping her Tux/shirt open and BOOBIES!


Just one of the guys
 
2012-06-12 02:41:35 AM  
IT'S PAUL MCCARTNEY!!
 
2012-06-12 02:46:37 AM  
Why the emphasis on 'flesh-colored'? Aren't all penises flesh colored? They should have just said "penis-colored"
 
2012-06-12 02:52:28 AM  

Kuoxasar: kmmontandon: ... who the hell is King Missile?

Jesus Was Way Cool

Take Stuff From Work

Cheesecake Truck

Not really easy stuff to sum up, I guess I'd say they're a bit folksy, they do some jazzy stuff, some rock, the lyrics are toneless and mostly about stories or basic life experiences. It's not pretentious. Really fun music in my opinion. Cheesecake Truck is hilarious and has a great jaunty keyboard.


I'd forgotten about Take Stuff From Work somehow. Amusing little song.

/ Take stuff from work. And goof-off on the company time. I wrote this at work; they're paying me to write about things I steal from them. Life is good.
 
2012-06-12 03:20:38 AM  
Shoulda changed their names to Garry and Melissa

Then to heighten their passion
They bought sex toys
Ben-wa balls
French ticklers
Nipple clamps
Cock rings
Whips and chains and bondage gear
Bowling balls
Dildos
Vibrators
Watermelons
Commemorative Statuettes of Liberty
Anything
They were really turned on for awhile

Link
 
2012-06-12 03:27:36 AM  
The original thread will forever live in my mind's infamy. So weird that it's not only happened again, but ended up in the news. This MUST be more commonplace than we thought, eh?
 
2012-06-12 03:31:30 AM  

Chariset: Why the emphasis on 'flesh-colored'? Aren't all penises flesh colored? They should have just said "penis-colored"


Whose flesh is it colored like?

thesocietypages.org
 
2012-06-12 03:35:26 AM  

Cthulhu_is_my_homeboy: Wow, just w--you know what? Fark it. Fark has desensitized me to stories like this.

Meh. Just meh.


The faux boy should be pitied. Sex was a waste of time for her, she couldn't feel a thing through her fake cock.
 
2012-06-12 03:35:56 AM  

Britney Spear's Speculum: [www.mymodelships.com image 336x429]

Wow. Just wow.


this took altogether too long.

\wow... just wow.
 
2012-06-12 03:36:53 AM  

Cthulhu_is_my_homeboy: Wow, just w--you know what? Fark it. Fark has desensitized me to stories like this.

Meh. Just meh.


oh yah?

daddy. my eyes!
 
2012-06-12 04:30:43 AM  
This is less "Detachable Penis" and more "Boys Don't Cry"
 
2012-06-12 04:37:53 AM  
There was this one from the Cincinnati area.

Link
 
2012-06-12 04:40:25 AM  

Satanus Maximus: "During the group's stay at the motel, "'Wilson' digitally penetrated A.L.'s vagina," Talkington charged."

Digitally penetrated, eh? Amazing how everything is going digital these days!


Digital = finger
so...go on
 
2012-06-12 04:46:21 AM  

Bongo Blue: Satanus Maximus: "During the group's stay at the motel, "'Wilson' digitally penetrated A.L.'s vagina," Talkington charged."

Digitally penetrated, eh? Amazing how everything is going digital these days!

Digital = finger
so...go on


I once read about a girl named Alice

Used a dynamite stick as a phallus

They found her vagina in North Carolina

And the rest of poor Alice in Dallas
 
2012-06-12 05:01:08 AM  

Ed Finnerty: Well, it's no modified paper towel holder.


Wow... just wow.
 
2012-06-12 05:04:04 AM  
But that's not even the weird part

The weird part is that I swear this was already a Law & Order SVU Episode.

[scanning]
 
2012-06-12 05:06:57 AM  
Bam

http://lawandorder.wikia.com/wiki/Pretend

28 year old pretending to be a 16 year old, going to high school, dating young boys and living in foster care.
 
2012-06-12 05:13:42 AM  
does anybody remember a song about jesus playing in a rockin little band from Galilee with a halo round his penis....
Standing on the sea,bringing the crowd to their feet with smoke on the water...
 
2012-06-12 05:32:21 AM  

bahknee: Chariset: Why the emphasis on 'flesh-colored'? Aren't all penises flesh colored? They should have just said "penis-colored"

Whose flesh is it colored like?

[thesocietypages.org image 500x320]


s3-ak.buzzfed.com
 
2012-06-12 05:41:12 AM  

lordargent: Bam

http://lawandorder.wikia.com/wiki/Pretend

28 year old pretending to be a 16 year old, going to high school, dating young boys and living in foster care.


"Law and Order" is not a documentary.

But there have been a few cases of adults pretending to be children and enroll in high school:
Link
Link

WHY they do this is hard to understand, unless he thinks it's a good way to get some underage action. I think it's possible to do primarily because the idea is so absurd, no one would suspect that's what's actually going on.
 
2012-06-12 05:42:04 AM  

butt-nuggets: Yesterday
All my troubles seemed so far away
Now it looks as thought they're here to stay
Oh, I believe in yesterday


Yeah, that's what I was thinking, too.
 
2012-06-12 05:46:52 AM  
I hope they used protecti... oh, nevermind.

Hmmmmm, the things I could do if mine was detactable! (never leave the house, etc.)

/This bunk ain't big enough for the two of us
 
2012-06-12 05:58:51 AM  
 
2012-06-12 05:59:36 AM  
Is it wrong that I find this story to be kind of hot?
 
2012-06-12 06:12:39 AM  
But that's not even the weird part

FTA: In December 2011, after communicating for 14 months, "Wilson" asked to meet "A.L." in person. A subsequent rendezvous was arranged by the girl's mother, who accompanied her daughter (and two other teenage girls) to meet "Wilson" at a Pennsylvania motel about 100 miles from the family's West Virginia residence.

I'm not even quite sure what to call "the weird part" here. So many to choose from...
 
2012-06-12 06:12:49 AM  

Petit_Merdeux: bahknee: Chariset: Why the emphasis on 'flesh-colored'? Aren't all penises flesh colored? They should have just said "penis-colored"

Whose flesh is it colored like?

[thesocietypages.org image 500x320]

[s3-ak.buzzfed.com image 425x563]


Thank you I always loved this one
 
2012-06-12 06:19:11 AM  

Oznog: lordargent: Bam

http://lawandorder.wikia.com/wiki/Pretend

28 year old pretending to be a 16 year old, going to high school, dating young boys and living in foster care.

"Law and Order" is not a documentary.

But there have been a few cases of adults pretending to be children and enroll in high school:
Link
Link

WHY they do this is hard to understand, unless he thinks it's a good way to get some underage action. I think it's possible to do primarily because the idea is so absurd, no one would suspect that's what's actually going on.


and mentally disturbed ...
 
2012-06-12 06:23:19 AM  

SkunkWerks: So many to choose from...


FTA: "'Wilson' digitally penetrated A.L.'s vagina,"

Is this some new form of espionage?
 
2012-06-12 07:04:46 AM  

bahknee: Chariset: Why the emphasis on 'flesh-colored'? Aren't all penises flesh colored? They should have just said "penis-colored"

Whose flesh is it colored like?

[thesocietypages.org image 500x320]


I still have a couple of those somewhere.

Flesh Crayola would be a good name for a band.
 
2012-06-12 07:08:07 AM  

thamike: Flesh Crayola would be a good name for a band.


'Skin Flesh'

Or maybe 'Limozeen'

www.hrwiki.org
 
2012-06-12 07:18:34 AM  
What amazes me is that the underage-girl-in-question is so naive that she didn't pick up on the fact that THIS WAS NOT A REAL BOY...

Took her non-involved friend to point out that Things Were Not What They Seemed...

Imagine having to live with that...
 
2012-06-12 07:21:08 AM  

syzygy whizz: NOT A REAL BOY.


maizein.files.wordpress.com

Carissa explains it all?
 
2012-06-12 07:31:33 AM  
Are you kidding me?

"The criminal probe of Hads was triggered by a tip"
 
2012-06-12 07:34:28 AM  

Fluorescent Testicle: Parentally-approved paedophilia isn't weird to you?


The mother, like the girl, thought Carissa was a 17 y/o boy. I don't think it's unheard of for a mother to allow a 17 y/o boy to date her 15 y/o girl.
 
2012-06-12 07:41:40 AM  

Kiribub: Are you kidding me?

"The criminal probe of Hads was triggered by a tip"


It always starts with just the tip.
 
2012-06-12 07:48:48 AM  

Kiribub: Are you kidding me?

"The criminal probe of Hads was triggered by a tip"


fapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfap
....go on....
 
2012-06-12 07:50:25 AM  
There was an exact same scenario that played out in Cincinnati a year or two ago. This chick wound up in California and got busted for the very same thing again IIRC.
 
2012-06-12 07:53:02 AM  
www.fwweekly.com
data.whicdn.com
www.lapatilla.com
"Brandon, why don't you take your pants off while we have sex?"
'Well, then I couldn't stick my fake penis through the zipper hole and...Uh, I mean I just really like them!"

That scene doesn't make me cry. Well...it doesn't make me cry tears
/Hillary Swank kissing Chloë Sevigny. Mmmmmm.
 
2012-06-12 08:01:20 AM  
How could someone not realize that was a chick? It's freakin' obvious!
 
2012-06-12 08:07:00 AM  

Lionel Mandrake: HotWingAgenda: I distinctly remember reading about this exact same situation happening in England with a different chick earlier this year.

THANK YOU! I thought it sounded familiar


England: The West Virginia of Europe.
 
2012-06-12 08:21:42 AM  

Kuoxasar: kmmontandon: ... who the hell is King Missile?

Jesus Was Way Cool

Take Stuff From Work

Cheesecake Truck

Not really easy stuff to sum up, I guess I'd say they're a bit folksy, they do some jazzy stuff, some rock, the lyrics are toneless and mostly about stories or basic life experiences. It's not pretentious. Really fun music in my opinion. Cheesecake Truck is hilarious and has a great jaunty keyboard.


I've always been partial to this one. NOT SAFE FOR WORK
 
2012-06-12 08:21:59 AM  

Satanus Maximus: "During the group's stay at the motel, "'Wilson' digitally penetrated A.L.'s vagina," Talkington charged."

Digitally penetrated, eh? Amazing how everything is going digital these days!


For some reason that reminds me of that one lame Prince video with the male and female symbols flying in and out of one another

/too lazy to look up which video that was...
 
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