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(The Smoking Gun)   King Missile's biggest fan arrested with "fake, flesh-colored penis" in her front pocket. But that's not even the weird part   (thesmokinggun.com) divider line 135
    More: Weird, Carissa Hads, Internet Crimes Against Children, flight risk, pockets, TSG  
•       •       •

20520 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Jun 2012 at 12:08 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



135 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-06-11 07:00:47 PM
But that's not even the weird part

No shiat. Crikey.
 
2012-06-11 08:44:16 PM
On a Mexican... woah! woah! ...radio.
 
2012-06-11 09:02:37 PM
a 15-year-old girl who was unaware that the boyfriend she met online was actually a female,

Was she blind?
 
2012-06-11 09:06:47 PM
Well, it's no modified paper towel holder.
 
2012-06-11 09:13:21 PM
So the 15 yr old's mom was totally OK with her daughter being penised, until she found out the penis was detachable? Not really helping with West Virginia's reputation.
 
2012-06-11 09:18:23 PM

reported: So the 15 yr old's mom was totally OK with her daughter being penised, until she found out the penis was detachable? Not really helping with West Virginia's reputation.


Maybe she was hoping her daughter would get pregnant and she could git 'er married off

/had the formal shotgun polished, and ever'thang
 
2012-06-11 10:08:34 PM
Did she find it on Second Avenue towards St. Mark's Place, where all those people sell used books and other junk on the street?
 
2012-06-11 11:15:33 PM
... who the hell is King Missile?
 
2012-06-12 12:10:47 AM
YEESH!
Glad they threw the book at that crazy coontnus
 
2012-06-12 12:14:22 AM
Boys don't cry
 
2012-06-12 12:14:26 AM

Because People in power are Stupid: a 15-year-old girl who was unaware that the boyfriend she met online was actually a female,

Was she blind?


Know how I can tell you didn't read the article?

i.cdn.turner.com

That's a man, baby! Only, I guess it isn't.
 
2012-06-12 12:15:40 AM
I distinctly remember reading about this exact same situation happening in England with a different chick earlier this year.
 
2012-06-12 12:17:02 AM

reported: So the 15 yr old's mom was totally OK with her daughter being penised, until she found out the penis was detachable? Not really helping with West Virginia's reputation.


HA HA your Mom's a pimp
 
2012-06-12 12:17:15 AM

HotWingAgenda: I distinctly remember reading about this exact same situation happening in England with a different chick earlier this year.


THANK YOU! I thought it sounded familiar
 
2012-06-12 12:18:08 AM

make me some tea: But that's not even the weird part


It's detachable.
 
2012-06-12 12:23:20 AM

Lionel Mandrake: HotWingAgenda: I distinctly remember reading about this exact same situation happening in England with a different chick earlier this year.

THANK YOU! I thought it sounded familiar


There was a movie in the early/mid 80's (I think) about some chick posing as a guy in high school. Can't remember the name, just remember her ripping her Tux/shirt open and BOOBIES!
 
2012-06-12 12:25:04 AM
She just needs to be double-farked by two black studs.
 
2012-06-12 12:25:29 AM
Damn,t guess I'm going to have to RTFA to figure this out.
 
2012-06-12 12:26:19 AM
Hads--posing as a 17-year-old boy named "James Puryear Wilson"--met the teenage girl on an unnamed "social networking site" around October 2010.
"Wilson" maintained Facebook and MySpace pages that described him as a "youth pastor" living in Quincy, Massachusetts (where Hads actually resides). On Facebook, "Wilson" claimed to be the father of twins


17 year old father of twins? Why would you think that's a good fake persona for picking up chicks?

A subsequent rendezvous was arranged by the girl's mother, who accompanied her daughter (and two other teenage girls) to meet "Wilson" at a Pennsylvania motel about 100 miles from the family's West Virginia residence.

... oh, right. Because apparently it works on both the girl and her mother.

/facepalm
 
2012-06-12 12:27:05 AM

kmmontandon: ... who the hell is King Missile?


Jesus Was Way Cool

Take Stuff From Work

Cheesecake Truck

Not really easy stuff to sum up, I guess I'd say they're a bit folksy, they do some jazzy stuff, some rock, the lyrics are toneless and mostly about stories or basic life experiences. It's not pretentious. Really fun music in my opinion. Cheesecake Truck is hilarious and has a great jaunty keyboard.
 
2012-06-12 12:27:27 AM

Boatmech: Lionel Mandrake: HotWingAgenda: I distinctly remember reading about this exact same situation happening in England with a different chick earlier this year.

THANK YOU! I thought it sounded familiar

There was a movie in the early/mid 80's (I think) about some chick posing as a guy in high school. Can't remember the name, just remember her ripping her Tux/shirt open and BOOBIES!


One of the guys

Or something similar.
 
2012-06-12 12:28:23 AM

Lionel Mandrake: HotWingAgenda: I distinctly remember reading about this exact same situation happening in England with a different chick earlier this year.

THANK YOU! I thought it sounded familiar


I can't find the Fark thread, but here's the story:

Link
 
2012-06-12 12:28:32 AM
I'll be in my bunk.


fap!
 
2012-06-12 12:28:33 AM
I too have a flesh-colored penis but it kinda goes a bit red and ruddy when it gets hard.

You try doing that with your fake penis, you girly-man-girl-thing.
 
2012-06-12 12:28:42 AM
Well that didn't take long 24 year old with a 15 year old.
Um am I missing something?
 
2012-06-12 12:30:14 AM
Love that riff,,,
 
2012-06-12 12:30:15 AM
Is that the brunette from Garfunkel and Oates?

www.superseriousshow.comi.cdn.turner.com
 
2012-06-12 12:32:14 AM
Wow, just w--you know what? Fark it. Fark has desensitized me to stories like this.

Meh. Just meh.
 
2012-06-12 12:34:10 AM
Theaetetus:

Meant to favorite you ages ago. Belatedly done, with a "rational" tag.
 
2012-06-12 12:34:43 AM
img69.imageshack.us
Only on Fark
It's about People helping People
find articles about detachable penises
 
2012-06-12 12:35:17 AM

tinyarena: [img69.imageshack.us image 640x196]
Only on Fark
It's about People helping People
find articles about detachable penises


Wow. Just Wow.
 
2012-06-12 12:37:35 AM
Justin Bieber has fallen on hard times.
 
2012-06-12 12:38:37 AM

EatYourVitamins: Boatmech: Lionel Mandrake: HotWingAgenda: I distinctly remember reading about this exact same situation happening in England with a different chick earlier this year.

THANK YOU! I thought it sounded familiar

There was a movie in the early/mid 80's (I think) about some chick posing as a guy in high school. Can't remember the name, just remember her ripping her Tux/shirt open and BOOBIES!

One of the guys

Or something similar.


Yeah, found it -
Border line NSFW
I must have watched that movie 20 times and that is the only scene I remember.
 
2012-06-12 12:39:12 AM
I hear that Martin Scorsese is making a movie about the incident...
 
2012-06-12 12:42:13 AM
"During the group's stay at the motel, "'Wilson' digitally penetrated A.L.'s vagina," Talkington charged."

Digitally penetrated, eh? Amazing how everything is going digital these days!
 
2012-06-12 12:48:53 AM

Mr. Pokeylope: I hear that Martin Scorsese is making a movie about the incident...


My favourite King Missile song!

/HE MAKES THE BEST FILMS
 
2012-06-12 12:49:56 AM

Satanus Maximus: "During the group's stay at the motel, "'Wilson' digitally penetrated A.L.'s vagina," Talkington charged."

Digitally penetrated, eh? Amazing how everything is going digital these days!


www.virtualworldlets.net
The various advances in teledildonics are making it possible for lovers on opposite sides of the world to connect, including our valiant troops in Afghanistan and their spouses back home. Yes, our boys in the lab are leading the way forwards, backwards, forwards into the future!
 
2012-06-12 12:54:24 AM

illannoyin: Is that the brunette from Garfunkel and Oates?

[www.superseriousshow.com image 600x397][i.cdn.turner.com image 300x350]


i.cdn.turner.comfarm1.static.flickr.com

Get your nunchuks and your dad's car. I know where we can get a gun.

/It's kind of... exciting. I feel like... Chuck Norris, y'know?
 
2012-06-12 12:59:59 AM
man this is the one time when I wished the woman was actually one of the crazy farkin guys we have so many articles on. then she would of been he and then he would of been she and things would of actually worked out
 
2012-06-12 01:02:02 AM
 
2012-06-12 01:03:17 AM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: reported: So the 15 yr old's mom was totally OK with her daughter being penised, until she found out the penis was detachable? Not really helping with West Virginia's reputation.

Maybe she was hoping her daughter would get pregnant and she could git 'er married off on welfare


/FTFY
 
2012-06-12 01:04:58 AM
Never stick your detachable penis in crazy?
 
2012-06-12 01:06:24 AM
FTFA: "social networking site"

Why did they write that in quotes?
 
2012-06-12 01:10:18 AM
Sounds like that chick has a little dude in her .............(pocket)
 
2012-06-12 01:10:21 AM
Meh, gender identity issues can lead to some odd situations, but there's nothing particularly weird about this story.
 
2012-06-12 01:10:45 AM
i.cdn.turner.com

Yesterday
All my troubles seemed so far away
Now it looks as thought they're here to stay
Oh, I believe in yesterday
 
2012-06-12 01:13:48 AM

MrEricSir: Meh, gender identity issues can lead to some odd situations, but there's nothing particularly weird about this story.


Parentally-approved paedophilia isn't weird to you?
 
ecl
2012-06-12 01:13:55 AM
I woke up this morning with a bad hangover
And my penis was missing again.
This happens all the time.
It's detachable.
This comes in handy a lot of the time.
I can leave it home, when I think it's gonna get me in trouble,
or I can rent it out, when I don't need it.
But now and then I go to a party, get drunk,
and the next morning I can't for the life of me
remember what I did with it.
First I looked around my apartment, and I couldn't find it.
So I called up the place where the party was,
they hadn't seen it either.
I asked them to check the medicine cabinet
'cause for some reason I leave it there sometimes
But not this time.
So I told them if it pops up to let me know.
I called a few people who were at the party,
but they were no help either.
I was starting to get desperate.
I really don't like being without my penis for too long.
It makes me feel like less of a man,
and I really hate having to sit down every time I take a leak.
After a few hours of searching the house,
and calling everyone I could think of,
I was starting to get very depressed,
so I went to the Kiev, and ate breakfast.
Then, as I walked down Second Avenue towards St. Mark's Place,
where all those people sell used books and other junk on the street,
I saw my penis lying on a blanket
next to a broken toaster oven.
Some guy was selling it.
I had to buy it off him.
He wanted twenty-two bucks, but I talked him down to seventeen.
I took it home, washed it off,
and put it back on. I was happy again. Complete.
People sometimes tell me I should get it permanently attached,
but I don't know.
Even though sometimes it's a pain in the ass,
I like having a detachable penis.
 
2012-06-12 01:15:56 AM
www.mymodelships.com

Wow. Just wow.
 
2012-06-12 01:21:35 AM

Fluorescent Testicle: Parentally-approved paedophilia isn't weird to you?


We don't know if the mother was even aware of the age difference.
 
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