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(Houston Press)   Don't accuse someone of stealing your car keys unless you're very certain that he has your car keys, and also that he won't beat you to death and rape one of your friends after the accusation   (blogs.houstonpress.com) divider line 118
    More: Sick, body counts, Baron Keith Armstrong, car keys, HPD, criminal accusation, rage  
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22221 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Jun 2012 at 8:38 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-06-11 09:22:40 PM

ununcle: 1 freakin minute. You win.


Thanks to this horribly vague article, we all lose, my friend.
 
2012-06-11 09:24:10 PM
Drat!
 
2012-06-11 09:25:45 PM

elffster: Where is Zimmerman to defend these people in the name of justice?


He can only be summoned by placing skittles and iced tea upon the altar, and he can only be summoned at night
 
2012-06-11 09:28:33 PM
How could anyone think that could be rehabilitated?
 
2012-06-11 09:32:11 PM
Am I a racist if I say that I knew this guy would be some shade of brown as soon as I read the headline?
 
2012-06-11 09:32:28 PM
Hard to believe no guns were involved.
 
2012-06-11 09:33:02 PM
Damn.

Angry much?
 
2012-06-11 09:34:03 PM
Photo looks like a mugshot photo. I bet this guy is well known by HPD
 
2012-06-11 09:34:45 PM
Yeah well you have to admit it is annoying when someone takes your keys.
 
2012-06-11 09:35:44 PM

BroncoFan_17: Am I a racist if I say that I knew this guy would be some shade of brown as soon as I read the headline?


No. You were clearly a racist before reading the headline.
 
2012-06-11 09:37:07 PM
www.recyclart.org

Maybe this gives a clue to the attacker's mental state?

/Item 43 of a GIS for "household objects".

And a collection of the assault weapons:

www.andynortnik.com

/Item 1 of the same GIS.
 
2012-06-11 09:38:30 PM
See this is the sort of lesson that needs to be taught on those after school programs. Instead they waste valuable time telling children to not make fun of fat people.
 
2012-06-11 09:39:52 PM
I once shot a man in Reno just because he accused me of taking his car keys.
 
2012-06-11 09:42:36 PM

Bill_Wick's_Friend: The words "meth" and /or "crack cocaine" don't appear in TFA.

I bet they should.


Maybe the guys just a small dicked douchebag.
 
2012-06-11 09:42:58 PM

okiemule: [www.recyclart.org image 500x375]

Maybe this gives a clue to the attacker's mental state?

/Item 43 of a GIS for "household objects".

And a collection of the assault weapons:

[www.andynortnik.com image 601x801]

/Item 1 of the same GIS.


.i..
 
2012-06-11 09:44:31 PM

taurusowner: This is why we have the death penalty. Not to set an example. Not for revenge. Not for bloodlust.

But because some people really just shouldn't be on Earth anymore.


I'm against the death penalty except in cases where the person is a danger to other inmates. So I concur.
 
2012-06-11 09:44:40 PM

Ed Finnerty: BroncoFan_17: Am I a racist if I say that I knew this guy would be some shade of brown as soon as I read the headline?

No. You were clearly a racist before reading the headline.


And I bet you ignore or explain away why other races are more violent.....,
 
2012-06-11 09:46:26 PM
"household objects" makes me think of Dan Ackroyd (?) breaking a huge old TV over someone's head in Grosse Point Blank while delivering a tirade about organized labor.
 
2012-06-11 09:46:57 PM

NemoD: Wait, did he beat the guy to death and then penetrate him with foreign objects? Then he pulled off the Gordie Howe crime trick: murder, rape, and necrophilia.


images.wikia.com

"If we take his car keys, he'll rape us to death, eat our flesh, and sew our skins into his clothing. And, if we're very, very lucky, he'll do it in that order."
 
2012-06-11 09:48:27 PM

BroncoFan_17: Am I a racist if I say that I knew this guy would be some shade of brown as soon as I read the headline?


No, you just have common sense
 
2012-06-11 09:50:25 PM
I like my mix-ups to be wacky. This is a bit too rapey for my liking. This never would have happened on Three's Company.
 
2012-06-11 09:55:57 PM

office_despot: "household objects" makes me think of Dan Ackroyd (?) breaking a huge old TV over someone's head in Grosse Point Blank while delivering a tirade about organized labor.


No it was John Cusack busting the tv over ackroyd's head after a reasonable discussion about unionizing assassins.
 
2012-06-11 09:56:59 PM

Rapmaster2000: This is a bit too rapey for my liking.


How much rape is "just enough" for you Goldilocks ?

This never would have happened on Three's Company.

Just replace the murder weapon with a swinging kitchen door.
 
2012-06-11 10:00:26 PM

Herr Flick's Revenge: office_despot: "household objects" makes me think of Dan Ackroyd (?) breaking a huge old TV over someone's head in Grosse Point Blank while delivering a tirade about organized labor.

No it was John Cusack busting the tv over ackroyd's head after a reasonable discussion about unionizing assassins.


"Grosse Pointe Blanke?"

"Eh?"

;)
 
2012-06-11 10:01:41 PM
Apparently, only the sickest stories I submit get greenlit. It's a tough job, but someone has to do it.
 
2012-06-11 10:01:56 PM
Linked from the mugshots at the bottom:

blogs.houstonpress.com

Associated link, no further pictures. Whatever.

cdn.styleforum.net
 
2012-06-11 10:07:05 PM

elffster: Where is Zimmerman to defend these people in the name of justice?


Tainted1: He can only be summoned by placing skittles and iced tea upon the altar, and he can only be summoned at night


www.best-horror-movies.com

Zimmerman mostly comes at night. Mostly.
 
2012-06-11 10:07:14 PM
This was Bayou Body Count #76.

They're now at #79.

They've got some work to do if they wish to hit 200 before the year is out.
 
2012-06-11 10:07:21 PM

satorivt: Subby, read it more carefully. He raped the guy not one of his two female friends. It's even more sick than you originally thought, but I'm not sure if it was rape rape?


FTA:
A man and two other women were beaten, and one of the women was raped by Castaneda, they say.

He was truly angered, HPD says: "The suspect then turned his anger on the other victims, beat them unconscious and then further assaulted Armstrong with household objects."


Looks like he did both.
 
2012-06-11 10:10:32 PM

whither_apophis: Another clean batch of bath salts


Yeah, huh? He looks absolutely freaking insane in that mugshot.

However, after releasing this story, the cops can be absolutely sure they won't be getting him back alive. Anyone who kills him can claim "self-defense" even if they shot him from two miles away with a sniper rifle.
 
2012-06-11 10:12:46 PM
Came for a Boondocks moment, leaving disappoint.
 
2012-06-11 10:14:35 PM

Ed Finnerty: I think we need more detail than just "household objects".

I mean, are we talking area rugs? Curtain rods? Hot water heaters? A dinette set?

Good gravy, man. You call yourself a journalist?!?


Oh, dear! I'm so going to hell, but I can't stop giggling at your comment.
 
2012-06-11 10:22:15 PM
You just have to understand the situation.

I don't know if you caught the recent news story about the depraved necrophiliac penguins

The scientitians explanation was that the penguins, even ones who'd been dead a year or more, happened to be lying in the same way as a sexually receptive female, and the poor confused young penguins hadn't yet learned the 'right' way to ask these ladies to dance.

Well I mean, it's obvious, isn't it? Exactly the same thing happened to this guy.
I'm figuring this was a sporting household, so naturally they'd have baseball bats lying around, so in a momentary rush of blood he beat the crap out of that other (colored person) and prolly what happened was he accidentally caught one of the hoes on a backswing and when she fell she looked just like a dead penguin. No, I mean she just happened to fall in such a way that he just naturally assumed she was begging for it. I mean what's a guy supposed to do?
 
2012-06-11 10:27:42 PM

mjjt: You just have to understand the situation.

I don't know if you caught the recent news story about the depraved necrophiliac penguins

The scientitians explanation was that the penguins, even ones who'd been dead a year or more, happened to be lying in the same way as a sexually receptive female, and the poor confused young penguins hadn't yet learned the 'right' way to ask these ladies to dance.

Well I mean, it's obvious, isn't it? Exactly the same thing happened to this guy.
I'm figuring this was a sporting household, so naturally they'd have baseball bats lying around, so in a momentary rush of blood he beat the crap out of that other (colored person) and prolly what happened was he accidentally caught one of the hoes on a backswing and when she fell she looked just like a dead penguin. No, I mean she just happened to fall in such a way that he just naturally assumed she was begging for it. I mean what's a guy supposed to do?


"'proly" has only one "l," friend. ;)
 
2012-06-11 10:30:01 PM

Herr Flick's Revenge: office_despot: "household objects" makes me think of Dan Ackroyd (?) breaking a huge old TV over someone's head in Grosse Point Blank while delivering a tirade about organized labor.

No it was John Cusack busting the tv over ackroyd's head after a reasonable discussion about unionizing assassins.


I'll have to watch it again some time... it's been about 15 years.
 
2012-06-11 10:34:30 PM

Ed Finnerty: I think we need more detail than just "household objects".

I mean, are we talking area rugs? Curtain rods? Hot water heaters? A dinette set?

Good gravy, man. You call yourself a journalist?!?


The Houston Press is a free "newspaper".
It is supported by ads for tranny "massage therapist", lingerie modeling studios and strip clubs.
Ads comprise over a 1/4 of paper.

Not exactly a pillar of journalism.
 
2012-06-11 10:38:27 PM
Can I haz bath salts?
 
2012-06-11 10:42:35 PM
When the catch the animal they should put it to sleep or neuter it.
 
2012-06-11 10:50:16 PM

Indubitably: mjjt: You just have to understand the situation.

I don't know if you caught the recent news story about the depraved necrophiliac penguins

The scientitians explanation was that the penguins, even ones who'd been dead a year or more, happened to be lying in the same way as a sexually receptive female, and the poor confused young penguins hadn't yet learned the 'right' way to ask these ladies to dance.

Well I mean, it's obvious, isn't it? Exactly the same thing happened to this guy.
I'm figuring this was a sporting household, so naturally they'd have baseball bats lying around, so in a momentary rush of blood he beat the crap out of that other (colored person) and prolly what happened was he accidentally caught one of the hoes on a backswing and when she fell she looked just like a dead penguin. No, I mean she just happened to fall in such a way that he just naturally assumed she was begging for it. I mean what's a guy supposed to do?

"'proly" has only one "l," friend. ;)


Urban Dictionary: prolly
www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=prollyShortened version of "probably". Typically used in online conversations, although REALLY lazy people have started using it in verbal conversations .

?
 
2012-06-11 10:51:45 PM
Stagger Lee?

/he's a bad motherfarker, don't you know
//would crawl over fifty good pussies just to get one fat boy's asshole
 
2012-06-11 10:58:26 PM

Quia Ego Sic Dico: Indubitably: mjjt: You just have to understand the situation.

I don't know if you caught the recent news story about the depraved necrophiliac penguins

The scientitians explanation was that the penguins, even ones who'd been dead a year or more, happened to be lying in the same way as a sexually receptive female, and the poor confused young penguins hadn't yet learned the 'right' way to ask these ladies to dance.

Well I mean, it's obvious, isn't it? Exactly the same thing happened to this guy.
I'm figuring this was a sporting household, so naturally they'd have baseball bats lying around, so in a momentary rush of blood he beat the crap out of that other (colored person) and prolly what happened was he accidentally caught one of the hoes on a backswing and when she fell she looked just like a dead penguin. No, I mean she just happened to fall in such a way that he just naturally assumed she was begging for it. I mean what's a guy supposed to do?

"'proly" has only one "l," friend. ;)

Urban Dictionary: prolly
www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=prollyShortened version of "probably". Typically used in online conversations, although REALLY lazy people have started using it in verbal conversations .

?


Makers of language don't quote plebeian definitions for accuracy, mans.

Thank you.

;)
 
2012-06-11 11:16:23 PM

taurusowner: This is why we have the death penalty. Not to set an example. Not for revenge. Not for bloodlust.

But because some people really just shouldn't be on Earth anymore.


In 15 years
 
2012-06-11 11:18:51 PM
Okay, can somebody tell me what's with the bath salts? I missed that memo.
 
2012-06-11 11:28:59 PM

emiliogtz: Okay, can somebody tell me what's with the bath salts? I missed that memo.


"Bath salts" is one of several nicknames for the drug mephedrone. It's also known as "miaow miaow" (or meow meow) or "plant food".

Mephedrone gets its "bath salts" nickname because the crystals somewhat resemble the bath salts people buy to put in their bathtub.
 
2012-06-11 11:33:36 PM

Bathia_Mapes: emiliogtz: Okay, can somebody tell me what's with the bath salts? I missed that memo.

"Bath salts" is one of several nicknames for the drug mephedrone. It's also known as "miaow miaow" (or meow meow) or "plant food".

Mephedrone gets its "bath salts" nickname because the crystals somewhat resemble the bath salts people buy to put in their bathtub.


Thanks.

themoreyouknow.jpg
 
2012-06-11 11:38:19 PM
blogs.houstonpress.com

All I could think of was "BOOM - Headshot"

/hot
 
2012-06-11 11:41:34 PM

Bathia_Mapes: emiliogtz: Okay, can somebody tell me what's with the bath salts? I missed that memo.

"Bath salts" is one of several nicknames for the drug mephedrone. It's also known as "miaow miaow" (or meow meow) or "plant food".

Mephedrone gets its "bath salts" nickname because the crystals somewhat resemble the bath salts people buy to put in their bathtub.


I thought it was because they sell it as "Bath Salts" in head shops... clearly labeled "Not For Human Consumption".

I think I read that in a MADD newsletter...
 
2012-06-11 11:43:36 PM

ciberido: Reno


Oh please. Is there anyone here who hasn't shot a man in Reno for something or other? I was doing that way before it was cool.
 
2012-06-11 11:49:20 PM

emiliogtz: Okay, can somebody tell me what's with the bath salts? I missed that memo.


Mephedrone. As a new (well, rediscovered, because nobody in 1929 thought getting high off that shiat was a good idea) drug, US law was a little behind. It was made illegal, but only if sold for human consumption. So a lot of retailers sold it as bath salts or plant food. Note that it is neither of those things.
 
2012-06-11 11:57:45 PM
Drugs or whatever, sick or whatever, I'm still pretty impressed. I mean how do you beat up that many people, have time to rape a girl and a guy, and still get away? I'm guessing that the others were out of it on drugs, and they were probably afraid to call the police due to the drug situation or their general aversion to the po-po, but still that is one impressive rampage.
 
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