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(UPI)   Getting a head start on their annual shark mania, the media isn't even waiting for sharks to appear before they start panicking people over going into the water   (upi.com ) divider line
    More: Sad, U.S., WSB-TV, Pensacola News Journal, Pierce County, Morehead State, Cedars, KNXV-TV, Chattahoochee River  
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3155 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Jun 2012 at 9:32 AM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



39 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2012-06-11 09:33:39 AM  
If you had seen the recent Jersey Shore Shark Attack documentary on Scy-Fyi you all wouldn't be so dissmissive of this!
 
2012-06-11 09:38:16 AM  
I'm going to go ahead and worry about dolfarks. One day a dolphin is gonna want it rough andbang a shark, resulting in a half dolphin half shark hybrid that looks friendly but is a soulless killer. I'm pretty sure that's how evolution works so I'm getting ready early.

/didn't sleep much
//maybe still drunk from last night
 
2012-06-11 09:38:36 AM  
Cage goes in the water, you're in the water. Shark's in the water. Our shark.
 
2012-06-11 09:40:53 AM  
I live every week like it's shark week.
 
2012-06-11 09:41:57 AM  
 
2012-06-11 09:42:55 AM  
clicks link
ctrl-f- shark-
nothing found.

Am I missing something or is subby just randomly making up things?
 
2012-06-11 09:46:14 AM  
FFS! Have people forgotten how to swim?
 
2012-06-11 09:46:42 AM  
You don't know how scarey a shark can be until you pull one out of the water. One look into those eyes and you can see that they're more intelligent than you'd expect. And the thing about a shark's eyes...
 
2012-06-11 09:48:28 AM  
Still, you are more likely to get killed on your drive to the beach than getting eaten by a shark.

Shark attacks are like the lottery. The odds are that you won't get eaten. But then again, somebody always wins the lottery.

/don't forget to do the stingray shuffle
 
2012-06-11 09:51:57 AM  
I think it's high time we admit that open speargun carry is needed at our nation's beaches. For too long, our rights to protect ourselves from these cartilage-boned THUGS has been usurped by the jackbooted speargun grabbers of the powerful lifeguard lobby.
 
2012-06-11 09:54:19 AM  
Meh... if you went swimming at Pensacola Beach during or right after the monsoon that hit this weekend, you deserve it for being such a moran.
 
2012-06-11 09:56:45 AM  
Dihydrogen Monoxide strikes again
 
2012-06-11 09:58:25 AM  

rudemix: If you had seen the recent Jersey Shore Shark Attack documentary on Scy-Fyi you all wouldn't be so dissmissive of this!


Doesn't that fall under "Homeland Improvement"?

Seriously, when sharks pull 50 million people a year from their abodes, bite off their hands and throw them back into their homes with spouting, bloody stumps, get back to me.
 
2012-06-11 09:58:39 AM  

every god for himself: clicks link
ctrl-f- shark-
nothing found.

Am I missing something or is subby just randomly making up things?


Wait, you RTFA?

Hey everybody! This guy reads the article!

No I usually do, just not this time.
 
2012-06-11 10:02:05 AM  
rudemix: If you had seen the recent Jersey Shore Shark Attack documentary on Scy-Fyi you all wouldn't be so dissmissive of this!

AAAND we're done
 
2012-06-11 10:03:43 AM  
Just wait until the hurricanes start. It's been proven that hurricanes can throw sharks hundreds of miles inland, still alive, and then they will start moving overland, in a desperate attempt to get back to saltwater. Sharks will also bury themselves in mud and grime, for camouflage, so they can ambush prey as they make their way back to the ocean.

You haven't been scared until you've seen a shark rise up out of a creek, trying to eat you.
 
2012-06-11 10:04:44 AM  
So, what you're saying is that 20 people died in the water, NATIONWIDE, over the weekend.
How many died on the highways?
Come on UPI, Inform us!
 
2012-06-11 10:14:59 AM  

cryinoutloud: Just wait until the hurricanes start. It's been proven that hurricanes can throw sharks hundreds of miles inland, still alive, and then they will start moving overland, in a desperate attempt to get back to saltwater. Sharks will also bury themselves in mud and grime, for camouflage, so they can ambush prey as they make their way back to the ocean.

You haven't been scared until you've seen a shark rise up out of a creek, trying to eat you.


24.media.tumblr.com
 
2012-06-11 10:23:39 AM  

cryinoutloud: Just wait until the hurricanes start. It's been proven that hurricanes can throw sharks hundreds of miles inland, still alive, and then they will start moving overland, in a desperate attempt to get back to saltwater. Sharks will also bury themselves in mud and grime, for camouflage, so they can ambush prey as they make their way back to the ocean.

You haven't been scared until you've seen a shark rise up out of a creek, trying to eat you.


They also knock on your door and tell you that you have a candygram.
 
2012-06-11 10:29:15 AM  

rudemix: If you had seen the recent Jersey Shore Shark Attack documentary on Scy-Fyi you all wouldn't be so dissmissive of this!


I did! I love those cheesy Syfy movies. This one had some great, purposely cornball acting, and the Jaws-like plot was really good. I was just sad I had to work the next day and couldn't stay up to watch the megashark movie again.
 
2012-06-11 10:30:05 AM  
You should never try to drive your car through flooded roads, either. This is very stupid.

www.fugly.com
 
2012-06-11 10:31:04 AM  
Sharks--Nature's garde fous. We owe them our eternal gratitude for keeping idiots out of the water, where they would only be pulled out to sea by the riptide any way.

Let's hear it for sharks! They have earned their week!

Hip, hip, Huzzah! Hip, hip, Huzzah! Hip, hip, Huzzah!

If only they had a nicer smile, they wouldn't be endangered.
 
2012-06-11 10:42:48 AM  
The only thing that CTRL+F for "Shark" revealed was that UPI.com has a Fark RSS feed on it with this thread listed....
 
2012-06-11 10:51:10 AM  
20 drowning deaths this past weekend. Dying due to inability to cope with a rip tide is ripping stuff.
 
2012-06-11 10:52:35 AM  
I forgot to add that I found the article to be extraordinarily depressing. I also found it interesting that none of the people that were being "saved" were reported drowned themselves. I guess they all survived.
 
2012-06-11 10:55:40 AM  

KingKauff: cryinoutloud: Just wait until the hurricanes start. It's been proven that hurricanes can throw sharks hundreds of miles inland, still alive, and then they will start moving overland, in a desperate attempt to get back to saltwater. Sharks will also bury themselves in mud and grime, for camouflage, so they can ambush prey as they make their way back to the ocean.

You haven't been scared until you've seen a shark rise up out of a creek, trying to eat you.

They also knock on your door and tell you that you have a candygram.


Supposedly they collect for Unicef as well, although it seems kinda shady...
 
2012-06-11 10:58:17 AM  
purplecoloredglasses.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-06-11 11:08:40 AM  
blog.thehigheredcio.com
 
2012-06-11 11:33:48 AM  
Screw sharks. I am afraid of alligators and crocodiles. The real "land sharks."
 
2012-06-11 11:35:45 AM  

rudemix: If you had seen the recent Jersey Shore Shark Attack documentary on Scy-Fyi you all wouldn't be so dissmissive of this!


We can only hope that the entire cast of the jersey shore ignores the danger.

/ come on universe; don't let me down now
 
2012-06-11 11:41:08 AM  

mekki: Screw sharks. I am afraid of alligators and crocodiles. The real "land sharks."


Crocks and gaters; while able to run fast, are ambush predators. GENERALLY, if you can avoid the first strike and get out of range; you are out of danger. While sharks are ambush predators; they also can go into a frenzy when they sence blood. Of the two; I'd prefer to tangle with a crock on dry land as opposed to a shark in the water.
 
2012-06-11 11:53:22 AM  

www.hoax-slayer.com
Sharks? You can avoid sharks 100% of the time by not going into their territory.

intgrunits.olivet.edu
Good luck getting away from these predators.

www.hud.gov
Thanks, HUD.

 
2012-06-11 12:05:33 PM  
It's graduation time, and a fresh batch of lawyers have been let loose upon the land.
 
2012-06-11 12:15:02 PM  

rudemix: If you had seen the recent Jersey Shore Shark Attack documentary on Scy-Fyi you all wouldn't be so dissmissive of this!


That was one of the funniest flicks I've seen in a long time

/poke, poke
 
2012-06-11 01:25:50 PM  
<b><a href="http://www.fark.com/comments/7156219/77410364#c77410364" target="_blank">Hector Felix</a>:</b> <i>rudemix: If you had seen the recent Jersey Shore Shark Attack documentary on Scy-Fyi you all wouldn't be so dissmissive of this!

I did! I love those cheesy Syfy movies. This one had some great, purposely cornball acting, and the Jaws-like plot was really good. I was just sad I had to work the next day and couldn't stay up to watch the megashark movie again.</i>

<b><a href="http://www.fark.com/comments/7156219/77412975#c77412975" target="_blank">baronvonzipper</a>:</b> <i>rudemix: If you had seen the recent Jersey Shore Shark Attack documentary on Scy-Fyi you all wouldn't be so dissmissive of this!

That was one of the funniest flicks I've seen in a long time

/poke, poke</i>

I laughed like it was the 80s and it was Hard Ticket to Hawaii. Priceless cheese-ball fun!
 
2012-06-11 04:02:00 PM  
www.commodore.ca

images.ucomics.com

images.ucomics.com
 
2012-06-11 04:49:15 PM  
What sharks? They've been hibernating since the playoffs began.
 
2012-06-12 12:34:33 AM  
Jesus on a stick, Garfield was never funny.
 
2012-06-12 11:23:50 AM  
This happens around here annually. It gets to 100 degrees in May, the snow runoff from the sierras is ice cold and moving at high speed through rock strewn riverbeds.

Then dozens of non-swimming morons will chug 5 beers and jump into the ice cold water, get their heads bashed off a rock or get sucked down under a submerged boulder and die.

Bleach in the gene pool as far as I'm concerned.
 
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